leftofcool
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2004 25 March :: 10.29pm
:: Music: sting. shaddup hes awesome.
march maddness is amazing
so the fuckin spring break update... i've been kicking it in the lou with my dog, eating/drinking my parents out of house and home, took my car to get fixed...
i almost went on but someone once told me that when you are writing something, if you read it to your dog and they lose interest, you should change what you are writing. i just realized that i didnt give a shit about the first two sentences i wrote so im moving on.
the indigo girls concert with lammers and hurster was awesome; i wouldnt want to drink wine and pee behind a pickup truck in the parking lot with anyone else (emily i am burning the new disc as i type.) those girls can definately rock a show (and need i say there were some good looking people there... excluding the chick i met in the mens bathroom who knows jackie).
last night i went and saw jenny t's soccer game... other than that, hanging out with friends, playing a little frisbee, dreading the return to chicago. when the hell does the weather break up there? it has been above 60 every day since ive been home... and for you assholes who arent coming back (you know who you are) i guess we can still be friends but only because im easy, or we can just duke it out tomorrow night... viva la casa de ethan...
when i started writing i had something to say... now, i forfeit. i have no idea what it was.
1 freedom fighter |
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 25 March :: 12.11am
i sat watching the game
halfway listening to the could haves
halfway listening to the whatifs
keeping warm next to your dad...
as i drove home with the window down, the stereo loud
it hurt so badly knowing that i will wake up from this ...
that every buzz and drunken episode
will result in consciousness.
i may miss the discovery of being real in this world
like ive missed the understanding of me and you
you may think i'll be here when you get back
but i have nothing worth coming home to.
we rambled our lives away
on dirt paths
up grafitti walls
down hills
through the wake of the boat
dragging us along
but we hung on
im not saying you mean as much to me
i wont beg the question incesstantly
we've used it up, we've got it done
if only we could just move on.
1 freedom fighter |
free tibet
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daydream
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2004 21 March :: 3.55am
closing night is always so bitter sweet.
through all the long rehersals, angry directors/choreographers, whining and complaining we all did, it all pays off in the end. seeing the audience react to something you're performing is one of the most gratifying feelings a person could have. we were all so on tonight too. a good cast of people always pulls through, and boy did we ever. curtain call tonight caused a few tears to be shed by some of the seniors. i'm terrified of the day when my last highschool curtain call comes. and i'm afraid that day will come much sooner then i'd like...
we love you conrad, oh yes we do...
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 17 March :: 11.49am
:: Music: desaparecidos
i fell from grace right out of the gate
(you just missed my landing.)
but i perpetually pick myself up and keep moving
althought i continually make it to nowhere inparticular...
so im sorry in advance
for the past
and all the trouble i continue to cause
i never wanted to let you down
but it took too long for you to let me go.
free tibet
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daydream
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2004 16 March :: 1.41am
:: Music: rapid hope loss-dashboard confessional
opening night is thursday...yipes. we're no where near ready. but i know that with most plays you have to go through that scatterednervousdisheveled and completely not prepared stage in order to put on a decent production. we'll all get scared that things will really turn out badly and, hopefully, will work all that much harder in the few precious rehersals we have left. i wish i could blame all the confusion and unprepared-ness on our director seeing as she really is completely clueless. and no, i'm not being the know-it-all drama student who thinks they know everything about the theater...the woman really doesn't have a clue. our old drama teacher was absoultely amazing, but her husband's job forced them to move away...so we have miss hatton. nice person, no doubt about that, but she's only ever done middle school productions. trying to teach and direct for the first time at a highschool is not an easy task, and people are really being horrible to her. everyone just misses mrs. schloss so much, she was truly wonderful. not much we can do about it now, tho complaints have been filed against miss hatton to the school board. needless to say she won't be returning next year. i haven't met her replacement yet, but i hear he's a nice guy. hopefully he won't be torn apart by his students like miss hatton was. hopefully he'll have worked in a highschool before. and hopefully he'll have directed a highschool production before, because this is just bad. not one of the better performances i will have been a part of, but we all have our sour notes. i know my lines, songs and dances. all i can do now is hope everyone else will pull their characters together.
some pretty amazing concerts are coming up in ol' st. lou. i've already bought tickets to three.
april 9-an evening with o.a.r
may 6-ani difranco
may 26-dashboard confessional w/thrice.
not too shabby eh? dave matthews is coming in june along with incubus and warped tour. but, rumor has it incubus and warped are on the same day. this causes some major problems. last years warped was quite dissapointing tho, and incubus has yet to dissapoint me. so far the final vote is leaning towards incubus, but i'm still hoping it's just a rumor and that the two gigs are actually on different days. i've tried checking dates for myself, but always seem to run into some technical difficulties in the process. all i can do is keep checking, i guess.
i dyed my hair today. a deep cherry red. it's gorgeous. i've had different variations of red hair for a while now, but this shade might be my favorite. it's a shame that when the actual dye is on my head it makes me want to itch my skin off. and the rinsing process took a crazy long amount of time, but this color is just too good. i think i'll just have to keep grinnin' and bearin' it.
i think sleep is calling me. a good night's rest would be perfect, lets see what happens. till' next time.
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 16 March :: 12.21am
:: Music: addison groove project
my first bar... lincoln station
tab:
2- Jack and cokes
1- summit hefeweizen
1- blue moon
1- lemon drop shot
1- jager shot
status: not buzzed
solution: obtain lower tolerance before next bar experience
2 freedom fighters |
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 14 March :: 4.46pm
it was the highest pleasure
i had the furthest to fall
in those buildings, gray and stacked
like my days
collapsing into eachother
and i didnt have it in me to leave
(shit, the fire escape stairs
were in more trouble than i was)
because you were my favorite way
to self mutilate.
but i just saw your back
because you couldnt face
the truth of you.
free tibet
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daydream
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2004 5 March :: 12.12am
:: Music: the great decay-cursive
i hate being wrong. especially when i know it should be right. i hate messing up and feeling vulnerable. i hate the i-told-you-so's. but the thing i hate the most is knowing that it's all my fault.
1 freedom fighter |
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 4 March :: 12.29pm
:: Music: saul williams
lets talk for a minute about public restroom ettiquete and compromising the integrity of the bathroom....
I walked into the bathroom at the student center the other day which is massive. there must be about 12 stalls on each side. as it happened, none of them were occupied. I proceed to make a quick right turn into the first stall. THEN some girl who walked in behind me took the next stall, on my side! out of 23 unoccupied stalls, she chose the one next to mine. who does that? she could have at least left one stall as a buffer zone. after observing this incident take place i was so baffled that i didnt even have to pee anymore. lesson one...
-space, where available, is a common courteousy. dont be an asshole.
-flush for christs sake. not only flush once, but on those really bad days, turn around and make sure the extra courteousy flush isnt neccessary.
-ensure that all used FHPs (feminine hygine products) have made it to the proper receptacle, which does not include the corner (i know you have seen this one before). so there isnt an in-stall receptacle? throw it in the damn trashcan. its not like all of the other women in the bathroom dont get periods too.
-if you are in a situation where you must hover, take aim. for the love of jah take aim. if your aim is sub-par, wipe the seat.
-if you're not going to wash your hands for some reason, dont bother to fake it. its a waste of my water and your time. we all know that the splash under the faucet is worthless. if you aren't committed to a decent wash, walk out of the stall and straight out the door like you mean it.
-the posting of political propaganda. granted, its a great place to put something you want people to read since they are stuck staring at the door for a few seconds, but nothing makes me want to avoid the bandwagon more than getting angry during what could have been a perfectly refreshing pee.
and as for the showers...
-no need to leave your hair plastered to the shower wall. yeah, you may shed a little and it may get caught in your fingers, but do the community a favor and just let it run down the drain. please, sacrifice this one for hygenic people everywhere its distressing to walk into a shower and see what looks like a bunny mapped out by someones hair.
-a razor blade, empty shampoo bottle, hair band? leave with what you brought. throwing away empties does not exclusively pertain to beer bottles.
1 freedom fighter |
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 28 February :: 11.32am
:: Mood: hooked up
:: Music: toots and the maytals
coming straight to my door... 2 indigo girls tickets for 3/20 at the pageant and 2 ani tickets for 5/6 at the pageant. i hate the pagent but i done love them ladies.
1 freedom fighter |
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 27 February :: 3.54pm
:: Music: bockmans euphio
'marriage is love'
www.millionsformarriage.com
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 20 February :: 2.29am
:: Music: string cheese- untying the not
holy shit
this happens every year
winter, more specifically.
i cannot rest until the words are purged
all my friends and lovers are either asleep or drunk
while i am unable to consistently be either
and waking from one or the other shows me
that nothing lasts.
i wonder how jaded i will have to become
before i learn to let go lightly.
if anything other than the ground beneath my feet
is worth believing in whole heartedly
i would believe in you, if i could hang on
but you are so far and the reach
stretches my dry winter skin
until i have to make a choice about which kind of pain
i would rather endure.
the problem with numbing myself
is that i lose my decisiveness
it falls in and drowns
in whichever bottle i have emptied into me
and abandons my capacity
to ever be free.
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 19 February :: 11.18pm
answer questions using one band's lyrics
band: counting crows
1. Are you male or female?:
american girls are weather and noise
2. Describe yourself?:
something altogther different never just an ordinary girl
3. How do they feel about you?:
shes trying to be a good girl
and give them what they want
4. How do you feel about yourself?:
these days I feel like I'm fading away
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend?:
"oh", She says, "you're changing."
But we're always changing
It does not bother me to say this isn't love
6. What would you rather be doing?:
Got no place to go
but there's a girl waiting for me down in Mexico
She's got a bottle of tequila, a bottle of gin
And if I bring a little music I can fit right in
7. Describe where you live?:
or we could just pack our bags and catch a plane to barcelona cause this citys a drag
8. Describe how you live?:
I’ve been up for 38 hours
And it don’t look like sleep’s coming soon
9. Describe how you love?:
every word is nonsense but i understand it all
10. Share a few words of wisdom?:
i cant remember all the times i tried to tell myself
to hold on to these moments as they pass
free tibet
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leftofcool
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2004 17 February :: 10.21am
:: Music: widespread panic- light fuse, get away
You should make out with Lesley! Lesley can drink
you under the table, and she once peed in a cop
car. She's also an EMT so if you get all fucked
up she can save your life! Reassuring, huh?
which stl girl should you make out with?
brought to you by Quizilla
1 freedom fighter |
free tibet
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daydream
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2004 16 February :: 3.45pm
:: Music: fell in love with a boy-joss stone
@ 02-16-04 3:00am
[ delete ]
You know, if you would just stop bitching about how bad you have it, you may realize there is more to life than older guys who just want sex with younger girls, and that you have it alot better then most others.... Food for thought
[ reply to comment ]
@ 02-16-04 3:01am
[ delete ]
Can you pity yourslf anymore? I mean goddamn shut the hell up
angry anonymous posts. i love when people think they know everything about a person just from one venting entry. i also love when they don't have enough balls to leave who they are. i'm also pretty sure it's the same person leaving these seeing as they were posted only a minute apart. for post #1, i'm not chasing older guys, and i do understand how good i have it. if you hadn't gotten the memo this IS a journal, the place where you're supposed to write your thoughts and vent. this is mine, this is what i want to write about, your opinions are shit to me...just some food for thought.
as for #2, did you know that you don't have to keep reading something you don't like? no i'm serious, you can actually hit the random journal button again and it will take you to a new place. so can you please stop acting like a hardass, no one cares.
anyway, this weekend turned out much better than expected. the dance wasn't too bad either. i saw once upon a time in mexico friday night. that movie is amazing, watch it if you haven't. hung out with lizz, dan and ben last night. good crowd of people, good things always happen when i'm with them.
well i have to go write my english paper. 'till then.
"you're an exception to the rule."
free tibet
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