blaaaaaaa (dont want to do homework)
i love red hot chili peppers yaaaay!

i decided today (i mean realized) i cant fucking run. if my life depended on it. well actually maybe, if it was a good day. unfortunately, there are very few good days nowadays...

today after school kadhja and i stole lots of cookies on this plate outside the entrance to the big theater. inside, mr. rich goth-punk and quail were practicing inside. yeah i think the cookies were for them, or anybody practicing, but hey... we had just run.

the cafeteria dude is such a cranky bitch. the door was open at like 3:15 or something so kadhja and i went in to get some banane, and he was like "oh, just so you know, the cafeterias closed after school." thanks, asshole. why cant you close the door. and why cant you serve us anything edible, you have made me become a vegetarian and yet wont serve any good vegetarian meals. so today i had: rice... some overcooked vegetables... and a chocolate milk.

well kadhja and i figured its because theyre doing the "dirty work" right now: either spitting in the soup or de-feathering the pigeons. oh and if its beef: ripping out all the left-over cartilage from a cow's neck and soaking it in sludge for tomorrow's lunch.

just wait, tomorrow we'll have beef... haha

physics was fun!!! i tried counting my hairs, but then again i am not "the average human" considering my heritage. you see, my mom was italian, german and ESKIMO. that is why we have lots of hair.

today not so much time around mushroomdiddy, i only saw him twice. but honestly, give me 24 hours after seeing him last and ill completely forget about him. i have very weird problems. like, going from OBSESSION to blah. until i see him again. well actually that makes sense, i have not met him personally, so really all i go on is his face, and his insane laughing, and that reminds me that he is a spaz, and then i love him madly again.

wait, i forgot, i came into the computer room to do my math homework! right! well ill be going now

...fly away on my zephyr...

SPASTICITY
< marquee > < /marquee > thats how you do the html thing, just a remider for me. cept without spaces. yeah its the thing where it moves, ya know...


yeah well im actually not giddy right now, you should know from my last entry, but i was giddy 3 hours ago. SHROOMDIDDYS SHIRT TOUCHED ME!!! lol kadhja i will never wash my shoulder.

plus i was near him during lunch, and as heather said, "omg austin if you just saw that, you would not like him anymore..."

but honestly, that would take a lot. at least more than having problems eating. and i am not one to criticize spasticity.

lol

too many bitchy people around me!
so tired of my mom. i just got back from the gym and she tricked me into telling her what food i ate. yeah, i ate a popsicle (frozen juice) and really yummy bar FROM the gym, which if you must know, was 110 calories, and the treadmill said i burned off 220.

so then she started yelling at me telling me how all i eat is candy and i was eating a muffin so she was like STOP EATING!!!

fuck her. i cant help it if i want to eat. and i am a spiteful person; you know what happens when someone tells me to stop eating? it makes me hungrier.

sd,jvgasd,gjkawej. grrrr. whatever, i will just ignore her. after all, i am only further developing my outer protective shell against criticism. the louder she yells, the harder it gets. someday maybe i will not be bothered by her at all.

my future
i just realized something. this is sophmore year. i have never had a boyfriend. that sounds alright, but if i dont have a boyfriend by the end of sophmore year doesnt that kinda suck? going into JUNIOR year never having kissed a guy? junior year is late... but if i dont have a boyfriend by junior year im doomed. honestly. goddamnit, i have to wait til junior year? at least, it better be junior year. ill have invisible braces. better than normal braces or thered be no hope for me. oh god i dont like planning out my life like this. aghhhhhhh.

ok i will have a boyfriend by junior year, i will go to stanford, i will become a billionaire.

yeah i can do it.

~la vita e merda~
heres my away message right now:

"watching the godfather. those people are so lucky. if i had a godfather i would never have problems with my english grades or getting into dances."

well yesterday was pretty wonderful with numerous r.m.s. (random mushroom sightings) so i was all happy and shit. oh btw since im in a not-so-good mood im gonna fit swearing into each and every sentence... and shit. so yeah, kadhja and tara came over to watch the godfather which is good but goddamn long and then get ready for the dance. btw i wasnt very sure when the dance was but i remembered during assembly saying it was from 9 to 12 and shit. so we decided to take a break from the movie and get ready and shit. so we get there at 9 fucking 18 and ms you know who waltzes over with a grin on her face and asks as if we just got there. well yes, you dumb bitch. so we said yes and she said we couldnt get in to the dance and shit because we came too late. and i was like wow my life is shit and said wait... the assembly said it started at nine... why does 18 minutes make a big difference. and she spewed out some bullshit about keeping track of kids. yeah right, dumbass, the reason probably has to do with drugs and alcohol, and we werent very late, and we werent stoned. then there was this long fucked up silence and after like 40 seconds she pointed to my moms car and was like "you better go before she leaves" and i wanted to fucking kill her.

so, right... we came home, oh yeah, just a little pissed. but then again we have like 3 more dances left to go, so no problem. im being sarcastic. im fucking pissed. on the bright side i saved 12 bucks which is a bullshit amount for a dance... but everything else is crap. i never imagined this happening. im just beginning to realize what bullshit it is and how much fun i cuold have had.

wheres a godfather when you need one.

i dunno why but the freshman make me really ANGRY. here are some potential explanations:

1. there are too many of them and theyre getting in my way
2. a lot of the guys have very hot senior brothers (and... im not friends with the guys who know hot people? i guess that makes some sense)
3. the very short and ugly ones cut me in the cafeteria today
4. despite #3, i feel like it is my above-them-classman responsibility to not knock them over screaming "dumb freshman get the hell out of my way and NEVER cross my path again!!!"
5. nowadays everything makes me angry

well anyway, i have discovered some ups and downs to being around hot people. yes i am glad to be back at school ;) because of them. and i am especially happy when i happen to be right next to them. but it turns out the closer you are to them, the less time you are allowed to stare at them. you know if theyre like miles away, you can stare all you want, but the closer they get, the more you have to control how many seconds you stare at them. and ure like "damn i wish i could look at him right now" but they would notice and maybe its even geometrically impossible. like spf last year, i couldnt stare at him cuz he would notice and anyway if i turned my head i would hit him. ok time to go now.

school tomorrow! and CATS ARE SCARY...
ok im extremely lazy so i will tell you my story in conversation form

itALiaNkiwi 23: have you seen dragonfly?
blondiebaby730: no
itALiaNkiwi 23: did you see the trailer?
blondiebaby730: yea
itALiaNkiwi 23: yeah that was hela scary... well anyways
blondiebaby730: yea
blondiebaby730: i thought so
itALiaNkiwi 23: my cat was sleeping on my bed
blondiebaby730: vuh huh
itALiaNkiwi 23: and i dunno you probably have noticed this how like they have this white stuff that goes over their eyes when their sleeping
blondiebaby730: yea
itALiaNkiwi 23: well his eyes opened so they were like almost all white
blondiebaby730: ahhhhhhhhhh
itALiaNkiwi 23: and i picked up his head and it was completely limp
itALiaNkiwi 23: and i was like shit is he dead or something?
blondiebaby730: ahhhhhhhhhhhh
itALiaNkiwi 23: and then i picked up his paws and they were limp
blondiebaby730: omg
itALiaNkiwi 23: and then like 30 seconds later every muscle in his body twitched and i screamed and ran into the hall
itALiaNkiwi 23: and after that i could wake him
itALiaNkiwi 23: up
blondiebaby730: omg
blondiebaby730: wow
itALiaNkiwi 23: but omg i was so scared, it really was like in dragonfly when theyre dead and then theyre not


so yes, if uve seen dragonfly... yep extremely scary shit. i swear people, dogs may be extremely stupid and clumsy, but cats are frickin SCARY. and just last night i had this weird dream that ive had before where this black cat is like following me and talking to me... maybe ill tell you that later cuz i might have to go soon but just so i remember: black cat, gun, bike path, cds

eeeeeeeurrrrghhhhhhh!!!!!

so yeah when his eyes opened, i put my fingers up close to his eyes and its like he wasnt seeing them but he flinched like he knew they were there. and i will never get that image out of my mind when he like twitched all over like he was being shocked by those things they had in the hospital. not just like the usual kitty or doggy dreams where theyre runnin in their sleep. i mean like his front end was lifted up and his eyes were looking at me but not seeing me... omg i will never be able to sleep tonight. ill ask my mom if she wouldnt mind having an extra person in her room... i mean lately she has been pretty generous n all to me since i have been running the skin off my feet. i mean literally i have blisters completely covering my arch. yeah so wait, werent those orthotics supposed to HELP me run? oh no what was i thinking... theyre to make the bottom of my feet turn into pussy water balloons. ick.

remember people: dont play with sleeping cats.

just drank a smoothie so im FREEZING!!!

oh god today i have to run... waaahhhh

not much going on, so...
MY BEST HEARTS SCORES SO FAR!!!
4-78-100-78 (hell yeah!)
46-83-96-113
60-102-79-97
61-97-101-105
65-103-87-83


tada!

I close my eyes
only for a moment
and the moments gone
all my dreams
pass before my eyes a curiosity
dust in the wind
all we are dust in the wind

Some old song
just a drop of water
in the endless see
all we do
crumbles to the ground
though we refuse to see
dust in the wind


Now, don´t hang on
nothing last forever
but the earth and sky
it lips away

And all my money
won`t another minute buy

Dust in the wind
all we are dust in the wind
dust in the wind
dust in the wind


lol its back!!!
speaking of that go ahhhhnold!!!
and i hate yellowjackets

now let me explain. yesterday i was lounging on my hammock trying to get through chapter 3 of rifles leprosy and metal. i mean guns germs and steel. well yes, anyway, i felt this pain between my toes and i was like holy shit and i found a yellowjacket latched to my 4th and 5th toes. i screamed and started swearing really loudly and i almost had to beat it off with a stick but there were no sticks around so i just yelled at it and flailed and ran. so i iced it for 45 minutes. and i wonder if that actually did any good cuz today #4 and mr. pinky are swollen thicker than my thumb. it hurts to walk, and thats not even counting my huge blister-on-blister-s. damn bastards. from now on i am spending all my time outside with that electric badmiton racket, and killing every yellowjacket in sight. by the way my dog is the best dog every, she chases them and tries to eat them, which is convenient when i feel like eating sushi on the deck. of course she does go for the sushi too...

btw i tried having my dog sleep in my room, which is what my impression of a dog was like when i was young and undereducated. she galloped up and down the polished wood hall with her unclipped CLAWS and then ran around in my room destroying my peacock feather arrangement. and then i found fleas in my room.

oh but i had so much fun with this one flea i found on my arm. see i was reading a captivating magazine, so i just held it between my thumb and forefinger for about 15 minutes. then i introduced him to his watery grave in my brothers bathroom. and then i added soap into the sink. and then, just to make sure he was dead, i got out the tweezers...

he deserved it tho. really. oh and these hispanic guys in a pickup drove up and stole our sand!!! see we're fixing (kinda) our majorly steep driveway, so we had all these cinderblocks and sand. so i see these guys drive up, get out some buckets, and start scooping. meanwhile Bronte lies down on the pile of sand (its HER pile of sand after all, she claimed it) next to them and watches. so im just staring out the window confusedly, my dad is somewhere between here and another dimension (aka in the tv room with football and wine) and these guys pack it into their truck and leave. i told my dad 3 hours later. nobody really knows what hapened.

GOOD STORY, NO?

christina uglyera pisses me off. she thinks shes ghetto cuz she died her hair black and wore little purple shorts, and all this other purple shit that doesnt fit her. if she went into that neighborhood wearing those shorts, it would be because she'd want some guy to grab her ass to make her feel "powerful". uh, right...
anyway nobody would want to get near her ass cuz its ugly. and she looks like a rat. what would actually happen in that neighborhood is: christina would walk in, try to sing, and all the children would run indoors, and then some gang would drive by and shoot her down. not altogether too horrible, if you ask me. but right, this is just a video (sigh). the song is horrible, it doesnt even really sound like a song. its really her just talking about how being a gross slut makes her "powerful".

"The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore"

well she admits it, all she really wants is to fuck as many guys before she dies of gonorrhea or something. oh yeah, so she is a whore. she just wants to be like all those rapist guys out there, so she can "get all the glory" like them. and since when did those guys get glory? most people try and stay away from guys like that.

rrar! TAKE THAT TAKE THAT TAKE THAT!!!


oohhhh i love p diddy so much. that brings up a very weird thing that happened today. k so my dad is driving me to the gym and we're waiting at this intersection-sorta-thing and this dumpy old pickup goes by and some dude in the passenger seat stares at me and sticks his head out of the frickin window to keep staring the whole time he's going by. yeah, real subtle. IM WITH MY DAD, YOU PERVE. plus, to any sane white guy i looked like shit. (i dunno what it is about hispanic guys in pickups, i guess they really dig the messy hair thing.) so yeah. i knew he was hispanic, but at the same time, that second he was going by, i saw mushroomdiddy. im not saying that guy was hot. im saying im going crazy. i felt this pang in my heart which has only happened once when i actually did see him in a car going by. but man, somehow my brain really did convince me it was him. scary. i think i need to get my eyes checked or something, or maybe i was hallucinatin cuz of running too much. 40 minutes really is too much for me. at least in the morning.


ok one random interesting fact: next time you get a brain freeze, put your tongue on the roof of your mouth and it will go away. i havent tried it yet, but i will eventually and y'all should too.

by dirty i mean i havent taken a shower since i went running. i know, ill get to it...

im gonna fight a war
a seven nation army couldnt hold me back

i still havent gotten HIS license plate # but when i do... ohhohohoh i'll get him good. he just drove up/down the street, i cant even tell, and i heard it over my loud rock music. damn kid.

just had to make a list. this is what happens when you are literarally challenged and/or very lazy.

things i love:
*chocolate
*italians
*black irish-er-s
*p diddy and everyone who looks like him
*food and eating in general
*l'internet!!!
*il televisione
*that bag boy (havent seen him again... yet)
*stalking (lol USA club!)
*ripping off people with mostly-bad albums (downloading music for free hehe)
*MTV and all other things associated with p diddy
*every hot guy in the world who is not a cocky bitch!!! well i have already mentioned all hot guys (up until number 8)
*the song i am listening to
*omg i cant believe i havent said CARS yet: M3, all the Z series, ferrari modena, lamborghini gallardo and murcielago, saleen, and all them others...

and because im such an angry person, things i hate:
*most bugs
*cocky bitchy guys
*people who are dumber or shorter than me and try to push me around
*yuppies
*hippies
*the *people* in pick up trucks that drive by and honk and are very ugly
*the majority of all blondes (this means if you are my friend and blond then youre special!!!)
*sluts
*old lady sluts
*anorexic people (well i dont hate them, its just gross and sad having to look at them)
*my radio when it doesnt get reception
*biased jerks who think everyone in california should be a democrat (come on, variety, people!)
*people who only buy organic food
*little blonde trophy wives in huge suburbans that get 10 miles per gallon and could hold 8 kids when they have 3 kids and stop at a green light cuz theyre obviously talking about something very important on their fucking cell phone like maybe when theyre getting their next manicure or giving orders to their au pair about their retarded formula-babies that spend their whole lives in front of the tvs or being presented new toys so that they never have to use their mind or imagination for even one second of the day and they have stupid golden retrievers that need to be taken to a doggie salon all the time so their coats can stay nice and shiny and they never have to be on leash when they are taken on walks because theyre so SPECIAL and it doesn matter if they dump a fat smelly load in the middle of the path because theyre so fucking SPECIAL!!!!
*i think i may have run out of stuff for a while now... ahhh that feels good. oh wait.
*my stupid uncle and his crack-baby-factory bitch

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!

ahhh i love that song and i have no clue what he's saying...

back from drivers ed. my mom picked me up, 2 hours earlier than was planned, with a happy little "welcome back" fight. she was practically yelling before i even got in the car. dont wanna talk about it. ergggh.

my birds are spazzing for no apparent reason. i hate them. isnt the definition of a pet something that is TAME and SWEET and LOVING. well if it isnt it should be. and ditto for boyfriends cept adding in HOT. what am i talking about? grrrrrr

i need to go beat up my cat or something. and hey dont think he doesnt deserve it or anything, hes the most annoying thing on 4 legs other than that dog who barks in the middle of the night. he was on the roof and whining. so i opened the window for him to come in. then he walks away from the window and sits on the edge of the roof whining his annoying head off. damn why does he have to be so cute?

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

maybe ill just tear apart newspapers or something.

does jubiliant mean happy?
She said 'i'll throw myself away,
They're just photos after all'
I can't make you hang around.
I can't wash you off my skin.
Outside the frame, is what we're leaving out
You won't remember anyway
I can go with the flow
But don't say it doesn't matter anymore
I can go with the flow
Do you believe it in your head?
It's so safe to play along
Little soldiers in a row
Falling in and out of love
With something sweet to throw away.
But I want something good to die for
To make it beautiful to live.
I want a new mistake, lose is more than hesitate.
Do you believe it in your head?
I can go with the flow
But don't say it doesn't matter anymore
I can go with the flow
Do you believe it in your head?



ok new subject: i am explaining the colin f. thing. first of all, i will tell you off the bat so you can just get it over with and kill me now: i dont think hes hot. hes pretty, just not scalding hot.

now that thats over with and you are thinking of yelling at me, i will explain what i have been saying to you (lizzie) for a couple days.

first of all he is black irish, like my dad (and therefore me). this does not mean he is black. black irish were the people who came from spain and settled in ireland, and eventually screwed around with the irish but still ended up with dark hair (instead of being blonde and blue eyed). now going into the black irish thing, he has a small nose but if youve noticed in a movie when hes like being all dramatic and shit and breathing heavy that his nostrils flare like mad. my nose isnt small (thanks italians) but my nostrils also very flareable (lol). my dad said people use to say he had a black nose cuz of his nostrils flaring like crazy. he could flare on command too, and same here. also, he has a widows peak, which is like some recessive gene sort of thing that i got from my dad. so its a black irish thing.
now i will also state some very random things that dont really make any point but hey whatever: he is pale, his face is kinda squareish (i think?) and he acts like he has ADD. yeah so thats not genetic maybe, but geez you should have seen him on TRL. he kept on staring all over the place: wall, window, ceiling, audience, window, floor, other wall, ceiling, floor, etc. and he was fidjeting like mad too.

there i proved it, im his twin.

yeah so theres really no point to saying that its just funny have some things in common with someone else.

ok, you dont have to believe me.

right now im eating gelato and watching tractor things tear apart my driveway. actually not as exciting as youd think. i have to go running soon, damn.

well today i went to stonestown in sf and spent an hour just in Guess. of course Guess is the best thing there. they had so much stuff on sale yay! the lady there was really pissy though and i wished i could have ordered her around more and bitched at her. i should have been like "o, could you get this skirt in denim also and in sizes 26, 27, and 28?" or "ew, i dont like this dressing room, look at all the hair on the ground, ew thats so not mine!" (probably would be). well i didnt punish her for being a bitch, but i did get her to open a dressing room twice for me. the whole time she was scowling. or maybe her face is naturally that way.

well i got a pair of jeans (finally) from the clearance section that were length 33 (dont ask me what that means- just longer than regular) and they were $30 off the original price. so they were like, slightly more than normal costing for jeans. and cheap for guess. i also got a pair of shorts, and a couple shirts that were on sale. when i was at the counter, about to leave, this other lady who worked there and had just showed up pointed out to me that there was some international modeling contest sponsored by guess watches and elle something. you have to be 18. do i look 18? well i guess i just look like a guess model (definitely- my hair is greasy and frizzed out, and my concealer isnt doing too good of a job today). i wish i could be a guess model, if i could ever control my hair enough. i think im tall enough.

speaking of height, i was near the front of the store and bitchlady when this miniature asian chick walked in and was looking around at jeans. she must have been 4 feet tall. so bitchlady walks up to her and goes "just so you know, those jeans over there *points* come in regular and short". ouch. very bitchlady.

woah way too many construction workers outside, i hope they dont see me. i wish i had tinted windows. HOLY SHIT the guy who was sitting in the truck just came out with a cigarette in his mouth and probably like 62 hamburgers in his stomach. honestly he looks like he could be pregnant with octuplets. several sets of them.

i am sick and tired of damn smokers. i saw some rattyass panhandler coming back through san francisco smoking. so he wants us to give him money, as if the city hasnt already put millions into shelters, so he can go out and buy packs of cigarettes. yeah heres some advice to you im-too-lazy-to-go-live-in-the-shelter bums out there. if you want people to give you money, give them the impression that it is actually needed for stuff like food, clothing, etc. in other words, dont sit there with a cigarrette, joint, or beer bottle in your mouth.