Il giornale straodinario del'A. D. L.

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Il giornale straodinario del'A. D. L.

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:: 2005 17 May :: 7.25pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: godfather soundtrack- a song you dont know

quick complaint
i dont have time to complain about everything going on in my life this week and specifically today, becuase i have work to get done so i can start an essay eventually. but for your entertainment (if you dont just think this is really cool), here is one of the most disgusting things ive seen this year. this (*)made me almost puke all over my laptop but i turned my head away because i realized what a bitch cleaning the keyboard might be.

on the bright side i think ive decided i can stick with my prom dress. despite what it does to my hips in the back (in reality what my hips do to it). and i think tara and i are gonna eat in north beach if we can like reserve a cab maybe to give us a 10 minute lift to pier 33. i know other people are all meeting together and having fun and stuff but if theyre not gonna invite us then fine, we'll have hotter waiters.

and im not gonna tell this long complicated story but i basically am trying to see if my friend can come if the baseball team ends up not going hence more spots on the boat, and i sent doc an email this morning and (as he often does) 4 minutes later he read it and did not respond. so i just resent him the email. i figure i can keep this up every few hours until he at least responds with "STOP SENDING ME THAT I ALREADY READ IT". i know hes got other things to worry about right now but i need SOME sort of response.

:: 2005 10 May :: 6.43pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: mexican hat dance its my happy song

FELIZness
NO MORE APS!!! THIS CALLS FOR SOME CELEBRATION- math homework, italian essay, and english reading, and then maybe a fiesta on my own with some agua and musica and gallinas if my mom is in a buen humor. scratch that gallinas means chickens... so maybe spanish is not my thing. (and by the way im so obsessed with arrested development i got confused spelling "maybe"). oh ok GALLETAS. yep

i cant count on that, but i am going to listen to some ranchero music while i do this math. paz fuera.

:: 2005 7 May :: 8.36pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: the glazonow symphonie we have to play in orchestra

my mom turns on me again
2 aps down, 2 to go.

the whole prom rsvping thing is like the last thing i need right now. i dont have time to go out hunting for random guys to come with me (seriously i was planning on that in north beach but i still dont have my license and it is too far away). so basically im just not going to think about prom until the last possible moment. why put effort into something thats gonna suck (for me). ill deal with it later.

oh and yeah im not going to get my license on day-on-the-green because my mom decided i need another driving lesson! oh boy, that will keep me from not seeing makeshift-stopsigns and getting nervous after my test is delayed 15 minutes because she took the registration out of the car! so now she thinks im a horrible driver after she used to tell me im a good driver because of what happened during the driving tests. both of those mistakes were caused by me being freaked out about external things, in the second instance things that were her fault, and dont really demonstrate my ability at all. i hadnt practiced parking along a curb for 2 weeks (and that was what got me), in fact i barely drove at all cuz i was so busy, i was thinking about aps, then i get their and my dad and i have to spend 10 minutes looking for the registration and realize its not in the car and having to deal with that, then getting shit because theres no license plate on the front of the car, then getting more shit because the parking brake wasnt on (my dad told me there was no point in using it on flat ground), and basically after all those things im so freaked out i cant think. thats not the usual scenario for me. i probably should have just not taken it but i thought whats the worst that could happen if i fuck up. well now i know, my mom thinks im gonna kill people the moment i get on the road.

:: 2005 5 May :: 6.29pm
:: Mood: see song below
:: Music: rhcp- under the bridge

i never worry... now that is a lie
i havent done anything fun outside of school for probably a month.
i havent done anything well in the past week (s).
i actually havent done anything right either.
i looked and felt like shit today.
i did not get my license today.
i am not smiling enough, according to my mom.
i am not joining the family dinner right now.
i am not going to do well on the us history ap tomorrow.
i will probably not be able to write anything for the essays on the ap.
i am not going to have fun at prom.
i am going to die alone... plus cats

so as you can see i am in a wonderful mood and am really enjoying my life. basically if i didnt have to cram for the ap tomorrow i would be watching shows about people that died... if cold case was on, and it isnt. i love how my mom gets mad at me for not being happy, as if im simply neglecting to tell myself "i am happy!" and grinning and showing off my delightful crooked teeth. she tells me "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade." well the fact is i dont have any fucking lemons so what do you expect me to do. i know most people get themselves going by telling themselves that something good is about to happen like theyre going to get into a good college, or by reminding themselves of the good things that have happened to them, or for just saying "hey god has a plan for me and im gonna be alright". well from 2nd grade on shit was heading downward so that by the time i hit 8th grade i dont even know how i survived. after that i figured well things cant get worse than that and im owed some good stuff. and things arent that bad but every day when i talk to people i realize "gee good things DO happen to people" and it seems like everyones got something to hang on to to make their life seem worthwhile. i have...um... a stanford sweatshirt which just reminds me that i need to keep working my ass off when i feel miserable. (not the easiest thing.)

i cant help feeling like im owed a little bit of happiness...

:: 2005 16 April :: 10.21am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: un altro ballo!

my week
so i got like 6 history readings to make up (the ones before them im just gonna forget about) and i started them on thursday but didnt really get any done and then yesterday i did like 1 so i gotta do them all today if i want to go to japan town tomorrow. which i do.

but in my pathetic procrastinating mood i set yahoo.it as my homepage and tried to find italian online shoe stores (and i found 1 good one). i just get so sad since now when i go shopping i see all the stuff i wanted to buy in italy this summer and didnt have time, but the knock offs arent as good or theyre just way more. i did get a skirt at gap thats exactly like something i saw in naples, but way more expensive, and i keep thinking about the leather sandals with sequin starfish on them that i saw in capri. and then i get sad and miss italy so much.

anyways, now whenever i sign into my email it says "ciao" and all the news on my home page is italian, so i can just pretend i live in italy and what berlusconi is doing is relevent to me. its also a good source for pictures of their soccer players (i just dont have time to research that now) and theres advertisements for launch in italian and all the top music videos. i decided to watch a milanese boy band one, and its about dancing. theyre in some nice mansion with lots of hoes, except one guy with gross facial hair (but nice eyes) is outside under a tree wearing a jesus t-shirt singing while a girl wearing all denim is grinding on him. the dancing hoes seem less fake than in most BET videos, which surprises me considering the intense trashiness of italian magazines. apparently they are capable of thinking because one girl gets jealous of another one whos advancing on a guy and pushes her away. then she tells the guy off and he gets sad and goes outside to mope.

oh man a flying car just arrived... its steaming and a guy in a radioactivity suit gets out and goes into the mansion. he consults with the guys on something and runs off, meanwhile a girl goes to take care of the moping guy outside and make him feel better. oh i see now where radioactive man from the future went, hes following a girl and jumps into an indoor swimming pool after her. meanwhile the guys steal his flying car. and that concludes this wonderful italian boy band video.

ok i thought i was done but i had to watch another video, and u should see it too... "che idea" by flaminio maphia and its fucking crazy. i will translate some of the italian so u know what theyre saying.

"Max, cosa fara mai quello strano tipo?"
Max, what does that strange guy ever do?
"Perbacco, andiamoglielo a chiedere!"
By jove, lets go ask him.

"Ma tu di corpo vai regolare?"

umm no clue

"Amico mio, hai mai pensato di fare un figlio?"
my friend, have you ever thought of having a child?
"No"

"Mi fai male, non ho piu il testosterone di una volta"
you hurt me, i dont have the testosterone i used to
"Ma... sara il buco dell'ozono"
it must be the hole in the ozone layer

"balla" (guy on bicycle says repeatedly)
dance

"I capisaldi: le donne, i soldi"
(i dunno capisaldi but saldi means payments): the women, the money
"e i polipi arriciati"
and curled polyps (i dont really know...)

"Va bene, ci siamo visti"
ok, weve seen ourselves/each other(?)
"Io non ti vedo, ti percepisco"
I dont see you, I perceive you

hmmm...

:: 2005 2 April :: 12.02pm
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: from the musical

misery
woke up at 10:30, went outside cuz my dad wanted to talk to me about the car, came back inside and my mom came home seeing me spending my 15th minute shopping online. SHOOT ME. so she started going into a rant about how i really am the worst student ever, i am so lazy, i would never do my homework on my own, and so much bullshit that i couldnt even refute it. i mean theres no point in discussing things that are so far from the truth. does anyone want to trade parents with me so mine would see how i am completely normal? yeah i know, not a very good offer. then she says "you know when you sign up for the musical that means you spend less time having fun, not less time working". well i dont see how i could spend less time having fun, i didnt watch any tv this week and was barely online, then once i got to the weekend i figured i could spend half an hour shopping. honestly some of the clothes i wear are 2 or 3 years old, and in the past 3 months i bought maybe one shirt. and i probably watch one hour of tv on an average week. and i stay out late 1 or 2 times in a whole MONTH.

well hopefully that cheered some of you up by comparison. i sorta wanted to bring up my easter before, and then i didnt have time, and now i dont have time but now since my mom pissed me off this much i figure its fair to spend some more time. so last week, i spent friday trying to tan, all saturday playing violin, and sunday spending time with relatives. i drove down to my moms parents house first, in atherton. the ride was good, i drove excellently (btw in 2 weeks i might get my license) but i learned that there is something worse than my parents driving and bickering at each other, and that is me driving while my parents bicker at each other AND me. (and a few days ago my mom yelled at me that she hoped i failed my test). so at my grandmas house its all a bunch of little kids, and some aunts and uncles. the adults decided to put all the easter eggs out in plain sight and then wait 2+ hours to have the hunt (great plan for 8 hungry kids.) and i realized a moral dilemna that i had never thought about before while i was inside the pool house around the white couches. of course niether my bragging uncle nor his loves-having-kids wife were watching their ugly 1.5 yr old, and he was wobbling around cracking open easter eggs and dropping the candy on the couches. see i would have done something, but i didnt exactly feel like being their child-care-bitch so i sorta just walked away. yeah i know, im not such a good person, but honestly if you want to have 4 kids TAKE FUCKING CARE OF THEM.

after a while i gave up asking to have the easter egg hunt already, so finally i ask my mom when are we gonna leave. "oh, twenty minutes". great planning. "do you think we should deal with the candy now?" "yeah, go ahead." so after 10 minutes of scrambling for candy it starts raining (it was sunny for 2 hours before this) and we go inside and start emptying out the plastic eggs. and my dad tells me we need to go. "ok, you want me to just leave a pile of plastic eggs and candy and candywrappers in their house?" "uh, yeah."

so on to the next house. mostly good kids, of course theres that one 5 year old who is so screwed up im afraid to ask whats wrong with him. he will do anything for attention, including grabbing guys where he shouldnt and waving a knife around the kitchen.

and uh, i really just dont have time to finish everything. i guess youll never know hear about my random dreams (from this source).

:: 2005 29 March :: 11.10pm
:: Mood: pensive
:: Music: guys n dolls stuffff

preview
ok THURSDAY NIGHT i WILL update my journal. i really do have stuff i want to talk (write) about, i just... have homework.

so you can get excited, and so i wont forgot what i want to say, these are some topics:

*easter with relatives
*my dads interpretation of music
*ross school traffic
*musical
*dreams
*brother dies
*small dog
*japantown
*Bronte meets me in city (thats my dog fyi)
*virus fun: "your website cost me $350 to fix it"

uh so now ure confused and u can just wait!

:: 2005 7 March :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: jet- look what uve done

ridiculous
ok so first of all, my week is going to be fucked by the new sats.

that said, i have a hilarious, pathetic, random, and incredible story.

this week i was planning on getting some exercise for the first time in... a long time. but last time i went on just a hike my feet were hurting like hell cuz i couldnt find my orthotics. today i went on another walk and my feet hurt like hell again, so when i got home my mom and i decided to systematically tear the house apart to find out what the hell i did with them. so we searched every corner under every pile in my room, for nothing. we searched the downstairs shoe closet twice, for nothing. i got to thinking about the last time i saw them, and it was definitely upstairs in my room after ordering some shoes online. i put the orthotics in them to try them on, and probably took them out and put them in some box or bag. the shoes didnt fit me so i shipped them back to the company, in indianapolis. now in the process of removing every thing from the closet, we found two green, unused, nike womens insoles.

its certain now. i shipped my orthotics to indianapolis. so much for hiking and running this week...

OH YEAH i got invisalign today. i really have never been so happy going to the orthodontists, i just want my teeth to be fixed now at all costs- well not really because i insisted on getting invisalign instead of normal braces. thank god for that, but there is a sharp edge in one place and i really am having a hard time talking. MAJOR lisping. when is that going to go away? i think im going to have to read dr. seuss books out loud once i finish this damn SAT practice test.

:: 2005 5 March :: 10.23pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: snoop- step yo game up

random thoughts
so first of all, yay both teams for winning by 18 points! that was exciting.
i need a new camera, my old one is broken, i think i can get one on tuesday maybe, or at least look at some
i also need sunglasses really bad. gotta call bcbg stores and see if they still have the ones i wanted.
i might actually get exercise this week, that would be great
oh shit ima go a week with having to make my own food most of the time. arrr.
i wanna see a movie! i havent in forever!

and most importantly, lizzie informed me that the supposedly awesome music video website that i linked to and got stuff from killed her computer. so im gonna guess that its okay to just see the video in the journal, but dont click on it or respond to any pop ups or links from that website. and sorry if u did, i should have known there would be something wrong with "free music videos for your website!"

arrivederci

:: 2005 27 February :: 9.38pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: this should be a clue

nuthin
found the best website ever. check out the guestbook...

:: 2005 26 February :: 11.08pm
:: Mood: lethargic
:: Music: none- cuz im watchin videos!

havent started homework yet
i realized today that i had never had a bad headache before, or even a headache in probly 5 years. so i woke up at 10 with this horrible headache, waited for it to go away and i felt nauseous, then took a pill and the rest of the day i was exhausted and drowsy. really dont wanna work... saw anchorman that was great.

now just watching ms swan clips that i downloaded. soooo funny.

in starbucks: "you on edge, sisteh! no more coffee foh you!"

hm supposed to call the library to talk to the wicked witch of the east, the slightly nicer head librarian (as opposed to the wicked witch of the west, the other head librarian is reeallly mean) to chat about how i lost my job there. lot of motivation there. "hey, hows it goin, so you wanted to talk about me not working there?" well as a result its been 3 weeks and i havent called. it gets worse every week. ugh.

and the really cute shoes that i got online stretched out and are way too big and i need to make them fit somehow... i couldnt walk at the basketball game until i crumpled up bits of the "program" and shoved it in the toes. (i dont know if its really called program.)

tomorrow is gonna suck

:: 2005 23 February :: 8.08pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: the tango i play in school... oy

not feelin so great
so just as a brief story to demonstrate how tired i am before i actually do the work i need to do, this is what happened about a minute ago: i opened microsoft word and was trying to start writing a composing process essay but not really thinking. and when i do that sometimes i just hold down the shift key for a really long time (to capitalize the first letter, you know.) and this notice came up, which comes up a lot when i am spacing, saying that when i hold down the shift key for more than 8 seconds something... happens. the different thing this time is that i was watching a clip (more on that later) earlier today, so the volume was way up, and when the alert popped up on my computer it made a really loud high pitched whistley noise, which startled me because i was falling asleep, and then afterwards i realized what happened but because of the initial being-scared-shitless i started crying. not for very long, mind you, but i cried.

and about the clip, i was referring to this: http://rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rainbow_tv_episode.html
which you must watch (or at least read the script underneath it.)

i think ill take a nap before doing the rest of my homework- at least until my mom comes upstairs and sees that im sleeping and yells at me

:: 2005 12 February :: 9.54pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: aint nothin but a g thang

junior trivia night
TOP SCORE- TIE BETWEEN mr. henriksons team and faculty team
3RD PLACE- ONE POINT BEHIND- rebecca, dana, heather, santi, dana's parents, rebecca's dad, and me

thats 7 people and NO faculty

and we lost a point for sayin "cola" cuz he originally said to be "general", and also he said "snow patrol" wasnt good enough for kids playing in the arctic... GRRR

and a total of 50 bucks at jamba for the first team... even though some people won that much just in the raffle, for buying a frickin ticket. but whatever, we basically got the same as the FACULTY teams... biatch...

:: 2005 1 February :: 9.45pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: old not-too-good too-pop-ish rock

i am so tired of work. i need to bring my ap physics grade up to a B-. calc is incredibly confusing right now and i also need an A- in that. and i need an A- in history. ugghhhh.

but props to heather for the snoop cd. its awesome, and might be even more awesome than i think right now once i have enough time to LISTEN to it the whole way.

:: 2005 23 January :: 9.59pm
:: Mood: bitter
:: Music: snoop, pharrell- lets get blown

japanese candy is my staple
NOW im 16, ok?

if u were planning on asking me how my birthday went, dont. i can tell u right now without going into a lot of detail, it SUCKED. i could also give you the details but its 10 oclock and i havent finished 1/5 of my homework.

to those who have taken my quizzes: dont feel too bad if you sucked. they were very difficult material. in ap physics our whole class just bombed a test and i got around 20%. so as long as you got at least 20% you havent failed at life. not to say that thats a good score, but its up to you how important it is to understand me. and i admit i really did try to make those quizzes hard, and i threw in some tricks to kill off the weaklings. im sorry if i just called you a weakling. i guess ill stop talking about my quizzes now and try to finish some homework. oh and if you havent taken them, you are a coward.

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