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teenybeany
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2006 17 September :: 9.53pm
:: Mood: mfff
Dedicated to: laying low
Remember when we were younger and we'd have "late nights" which meant staying at your friends house till 11pm watching t.v. gossiping and other stupid things. Remember when we thought 20 was So old. Remember when we thought about who we'd go to prom with. Remember when we had more money because we didn't have to spend it on alcohol.
Remember when life was simpler. things were easier. people were less judgemental. Remember when it didn't matter.
Today was a bad day. But it was a good day too. I hit a low that I had never hit before. And that I can only hit once. And since it only happens once.. it hit HARD. But then it made me realize who was important. And what was important. I've never lived a day like today. I didn't do much.. woke up, did some work, hung out with ben, went to the library, ate, i don't know stuff like that. But it was still the craziest day of my life.. and it all went on inside my head.
I probably sound crazy, but that's because I am. Providence is being Providence. But I think after today.. it might get a little different for me because of how I'm going to choose to live it and who I'm going to live it with.
I know this is confusing, but that's because it is confusing and there's no way around confusion.
Graphic design is very tedious. And demanding. I have to do 500 thumbnails for my form and communication workshop class. And 20 pages of thumbanils for my form and communication lecture class. And tomorrow I have my first day of typography. Should be interesting...
My dorm is really cold all the time. So I'll be bundled up inside and then go outside and just strip down.
I have to go! Love.
banana
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teenybeany
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2006 15 September :: 1.03am
:: Mood: bad
Dedicated to: what gets me away
I don't like this.
Get me out.
1 bananafish? |
banana
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teenybeany
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2006 12 September :: 9.32pm
:: Mood: o__O
Dedicated to: microwaves
I'm back at school and it's interesting. It's actually exactly how I imagined it would be. And that is the first time that has ever happened.
My room is large. I'm only using half of it right now because I haven't gotten furniture for the other half. Having such a big room to myself always reminds me of how I don't have a room mate no longer.
Tomorrow I start class and that's a bummer. I'm not very hoppity boppity about graphic design. It's going to work me. Hard.
Also, if I go to class tomorrow, that means summa is ova! Everyday, for the past five days I prayed that the sun wouldn't go down so I wouldn't have to start class. Well, let me tell you. Today, when I was at the asian market, I looked outside, and the sun had dropped it like it was hot (HAHA). And then my stomach turned over a few times.
Well. Becca is coming now, and I've missed her a lot so I have to stop writing this to be able to jump into her arms.
Good bye till next time <3
banana
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teenybeany
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2006 30 August :: 12.14am
:: Mood: hopeful
Dedicated to: all that glitters
i decided that i love being nineteen. nineteen, what a terrific age. still in your teen years, but not just fresh into "adulthood".. which actually means jackshit. it's just, such a good age. nobody looks forward to it, but i absolutely love it. and as a matter of fact, i am dreading my 20th birthday. absolutely dreading it. i can't believe i'm already dreading my birthday~ does this mean i'm getting old? and soggy?
in korea i took naps during the day. and then at night i couldn't fall asleep for maybe two, three, four hours. i couldn't even fall asleep if i didn't take a nap. but here, in the home of the brave, i can wake up late, nap for three hours at night, and then go to bed flawlessly at 1 am. my bed never fails to impress.
time is flying. i got a manicure in korea exactly a week ago and it is still intact and in good shape. very impressive. and i didn't even tip them because, there's no tipping in korea.
i ned to get my schedule changed for the fall, and risd is being such a pain in my ass. i am going to be pretty pissed if i have to take islamic art and architecture without my consent. bitchass!
banana
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teenybeany
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2006 27 August :: 11.20pm
:: Mood: glad
Dedicated to: i wish this keyboard would die
So i am home and it is fantastic. Just how i imagined it would be, actually. Sometimes, i just think and realize, boy am i glad to be home. Sometimes, i also syke myself out and think what if i there is an emergency and america has to ship me back to korea for no reason at all but i have to go back and be sad there again. But then i realize i am just a saiko and that is okay because i already knew that.
Today i was coming home from penn station and we were stopped in seacaucus. i looked at the station and thought about how it was such a waste of money to make that huge station. and how the town really wasted money. and then i thought about how i regretted wasting my money this summer. and how that was a pretty minute moey-wastage compared to the city of seacaucus' huge money-wastage. and then i realized that the city of seacaucus probably has more money in its pocket than i do in mine, but that is ok. because still. the point is. i kind of got over the fact that i wasted money. and that i waste money. and that, it is inevitable.
so anyway. my favorite necklace is in 32 different knots, sitting in front of me on my brother's desk. it is really upsetting because it is my favorite necklace and i don't know how long it will take to unknot this thing, if i ever. and i just keep looking at it out of the corner of my eye. and the more i try to unknot it, the more knots it gets in. this is some metaphor to my life but i don't feel like thinking about it because i have to pee, actually.
so when i got home i saw my sister and realized she was hearing my headband. and then i realized she was wearing my shirt. wearing one of my fav shirts i got in korea that is. that i still haven't had a chance to wear myself. and that's basically my number one rule, you can't borrow anything unless i've worn it first. and she knows that. she also didn't say hi back when i said hi to her. she is just such a bitch. so i thought about bitching her out, but then i didn't. and then i thought about bitching her out again a little later, but then i didn't. and then i decided that i was tired from my trip to ny and wouldn't bitch her out and let it go. then i looked at FC's new pics on facebook. and she had a lot of nice new clothes. and i thought about how FC is so kind with sharing clothes. and always let's a lot of things go. so i thought maybe i should be a little bit more like her and not so uptight and bitchy about things.
but that doesn't mean my sister isn't a bitch and that doesn't mean one day i will truly love her as my blood, because i may not, ever.
anyway. onto someone i actually do love. rachel leaves for school this weekend, and all hell! i didn't know that, until a few hours ago. that is upsetting. partially because that means i go to school exactly a week after. whcih i'm not really in the mood for.
i have to bath. is bathe a word? why am i so illiterate. i really am surprised i still know how to speak english actually. bye!
p.s. to the world who read my catcher in the rye entry:
the reason why i always think of LHB when i think of that book is not because her middle name is the same as the main character's. i didn't know it was the same until i opened the book. there is a different reason why i always think of LHB and i don't know why. i don't think you know either. and, i haven't finishded it yet. i think i am half way. i'm not much of a fan right now. probably why i haven't finished it.
banana
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