*!Lifeless Living Is Worse Than Destined Death; So Savor The Souls Of Those With Out Hope, And Help Those Who Dream To Cope... Jordan Mackenzie Porter/Loye, November 26, 2003!*
The only problem I have with any minority is that they continually go on about how they want equality (by which I mean equal seats in government, business, schooling). They want half of the pie. the problem is, why would you give half of the pie to 30% of the population. That means the other 70% is only gettin half. Now that's not very fair is it? Young minorities are trained by their parents that everyone is out to get them, especially the white man. So they respectably honor their own traditions ( no foul play there), but in turn feel as though it is their mission in life to push this tradition on others, and when we don't want to be a part necessarily, it's racism. The minorities of the past suffered immensly, and today these people should be educated about it, as "white people" are educated about horrible things we've done about minorities, i.e. hitler, slavery, etc.... ( by the way, fuck howard zin, he goes on the incesent rants about how we aren't educated and we don't know anything about how awful of people we are). I feel no need to apologize for what someone did 200 years ago. I don't have the same mind set, feeling, or faith as those people, so why should I feel bad? In fact, I'd rather not associate with them at all. Maybe I should turn myself green, then people will leave me alone.
Basically, everyone needs to shutup, deal with what they have, and make more valuable educated decisions about what we, (majority or minority), do in the future.
::
2007 16 January :: 3.02pm
:: Music: British radio
I haven't been on woohu in months. I read a few pages back in my friend's pages and oh my dear God.. I feel like I've been gone a century, not just from woohu, but from all of your lives. I feel like I'm a million miles away. But I guess I am pretty far. Even a different state would make a difference. But here I am across the ocean, on another continent, in a country many of you know very little about, experiencing things most of you could never know. I am living another life here. Each of you are living another life there, even from each other. You're all friends, you all influence each other, intertwine each other in your lives, but you've all got separate worries, thoughts, problems.. I used to know what was going on. I guess the appropriate phrase is I feel "out of the loop." I'm not upset about it, it just really hit me now. I have friends, family, school here, everything I have in the USA, and my mind is consumed in them. My mind is in Poland and my life here. Coming to woohu right now and reading about all of you with boy/girl problems, school stresses, family frustrations, good parties, great nights out with friends, getting drunk.. your minds are consumed in your lives. Maybe all I'm saying is that life goes on, whether you're there or not. People keep changing, or maybe they keep up to their old habits, but whatever happens, nothing stops. When I get back to the states you guys may have partially forgotten about me. It's understandable. As far as you know, I hardly exist. I'm not around, you don't hear from me, you just simply know that I'm in Poland. And you might read my brief sugar-coated articles in the paper. It's just strange. All of my friends are living their lives and I'm not a part of them anymore. I'm living my life and none of you are a part of it.
It makes me wonder. When I come back, will we still be an ocean a part? Will things go back to being the same? I don't think so. I used to think 10 months wasn't very long, but really it is. We're all growing up. Should I work to read woohu, talk to people on msn, email frequently? Or should I stay focused on my life here that I'll be leaving in five months? But then again, I will never really leave this life. I'm going to be traveling constantly because the friends I've made here are the real ones that I can't fully leave. And when I get back to the states, I'm going to be there for a summer and then it's off to college. The closest there's a chance of me being is a few hours away in Alma, MI. But my hope is to be on the east coast in Boston or New York. I'm not trying to decide if I should stay in touch with all of you or not, because that's rediculous. I will stay in touch with those who I'm meant to, and I will drift with others. It's just life and I'm fine with that. Though it is hard to leave the people you care about so much.
Now I think I'm digressing. I was just struck by the strangeness of reading how all of your lives had progressed and for once not being a part of it, not being the listener or a prominent person in the "group." I feel like someone watching through the window, merely an outsider.
It's different, but it's not bad. I actually think I like it. I like my life and what I'm doing and what I plan to do. It probably will never involve Cedar Springs or even Grand Rapids very much ever again in my life, though. So drop me a line sometime and let me know how your life is and I'll let you know how mine is. It's nice to catch up with the people who used to be so involved in your life.
So I'm reading Rolling Stone on the crapper... usually a dissapointment. However, today was different. They had a little article in there about emo music. It was titled. "Who Hates Emo Music More?"
It was blocked off into different quotes by a bunch of shitty bands like Hinder and Disturbed, as well as other bands that aren't really shitty necessarily but I'm not exactly huge fans of them like Tool and The Killers. I thought it was ironic that Brandon Flowers hates emo, I don't think I really need to say why, I mean, the kid's practically emo himself. I guess he's really in that more artistic with no real artistic skills group. Sam's Town was not as good as their first album, by a long shot. ANyway.. Mayndard said probably the funniest thing. I quote:
" This shitty emo music is created by frat boys for frat boys that slip roofies to their dates. Ooooh, look at me, I'm sensitive, I feel. Here, have a Roofie Collada."
It was also noted that My Chemical Romance was tormented in england. This is a band that has a couple moderatly catchy songs, but is REEEAAALLLYYY Bad live. Have you ever heard the guys voice? He can't sing at all! The english crowd threw all kinds of shit at him, and when he tried to wave UK flag they booed. It's funny that he's never waved an american flag to my knowledge before. THey also apparently said things from like "Fuck your black parade, you cock sucking nunce." Classic english... anyone wanna go there?
And this isn't even the best part. When Panic! at the disco, who were clever enough to divide their name into two unintelligable fragments as opposed to one cohesive statement, played the same crowd, someone threw a beer bottle at the lead singers head and knocked him the fuck out. How fucking awesome is that?
My man
I love Josh. I was talking to him tonight and he said "Come home baby... Please." and I knew if it was even close to possible I would have in an instant. He is my everything and I honestly believe I'm going to marry him. It never seemed logical before, it never sounded like fun or like a happy life. But I've been thinking about it and I can't wait to have that with him. To wake up next to him, to be with him all day, to have his support through hard times, to even do chores with him. I just can't wait to be with him forever. I haven't been this happy in... well, ever actually. He has completed me somehow. I am madly, deeply, and truly in love with Josh. I'm going to marry this kid, and nothing in this world will ever change that.
Hmph
I am confused. If he was in a state 3000 miles from me, and I said I would call, I would just call. I don't care what I was doing... especially if it was random homework that isn't due until after the break that hasn't even started yet!! So why isn't he calling me? Honestly. I'm overreacting and I know it... but I really miss him and I want to talk to him. And he thinks he's simple... no, he's more complicated than I am. Boys, ugh.
::
2006 30 November :: 10.16pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Nickelback -Follow You Home-
I am an idiot sometimes
How is it that the same day my boyfriend gives me a beautiful promise ring and tells me that he would give everything to be with me forever I can still be all jealous because he's talking to another girl? Because I'm stupid that's why. Jeezz, I need to get a clue and get over it. I will never be the only girl in his life, I'm just the most important and the only one he loves. Duh.
Love
If I could have one wish right now, it would be to have Josh in my life forever. He is everything to me and more, and I hope that I never have to live without him. He means more to me than any guy has ever meant before. The way I feel when I'm around him is at least a hundred times greater than the feelings I've had around other guys. Josh is basically perfect. He and I don't really fight, although we do argue once in a while, we always always say sorry two seconds later, and usually we figure out who was really right too. We handle everything well, no need for all the drama. I love that about our relationship. I can be me with him, he doesn't expect me to be a certain way all the time. He listens to me, and I enjoy listening to him. He makes me happy just by being there. Even when I feel like complete crap he can make me feel better by just sitting next to me. I sleep the best when I'm with him. I feel the best when I'm with him. I am the happiest with him. Life is exactly how it should be and more with him. I hope that I can keep him forever and marry him, but if anything should keep that from happening, I at least hope that he is a part of my life in some way. The Marines may take him away for awhile, but they can never take him out of my heart. I love Josh, and I hope that I can someday make him feel as perfect and as loved as he has made me feel for the past 103 days. I don't care if what happens, I'm not giving him up without a fight! I love him... end of conversation.
