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2003 13 October :: 2.33 am
:: Mood: worried
Urgh i cant sleep again, so here i am at woohu talkin away fo absolutly no reason at all...
Urgh...
Well lets see here, i dont even know why im really writtin in this journal cuz like i started another journal, but yah everyones going to read dat one so hmm maybe i sould jus really keep both updated, n jus have dat one fo absoutly no reason, jus to keep ppl updated on wats going on and all dat, and dis one can be "Da real deal" hehe i unno...
Urgh im tired as fuck! This weekend seemed kinda borin but it was really stressful n kinda busy, like okay fri yah i did nuffin really, sat i had to go to da doc bout my knee, den work, den out wit James n Tiffany {Trixi} n all of dem to get drunk off our asses fo Taylors b day on fri, den sun i had to go to Brittneys, den out to lunch wit my grandparents cuz thier leavin fo FL 2marro well t day actually, and den out to dinner wit my friends...
Urgh den came home {after katies} and had to deal wit everyones shit again, not jus my family but my friends too, like Stacey im sick of her always yellin n bitchin at me den like 5 minutes latah shes all like omfg guess wat jushappened to me?! And of course i bounce up n see wat dramatic event happened in her life and totally forgive her once again...but once i think bout it, dats kinda like wat i do to BrittANY...
Urgh i unno, i feel so bad fo BrittANY cuz she has to put up wit me, I hope that like one of these days, shit between us gets straighten out ya know...and i hope that one day i can be a better friend to her, like da kind of friend she is to me...
Rockergurl217: u go around feelin all sad cuz stacey dont like u anymore and jesus u fukin like push every one away jill
Rockergurl217: like ur tellin me i hate u rite now?
Rockergurl217: u think if u keep doin that im jus gonna keep sittin here tellin u i love u
Rockergurl217: i have better things to do ya no but i do love u and i put up with it but im not always gonna jus do that ya no
Rockergurl217: and u say u aint gonna but u still do jill
Rockergurl217: and now ur gonna prolly say "mayb i should let u go" or something like that but u cant jus run from everything ya noi
Yah u wanna know wat i say to dat...FINALLY! Finally da truth comes out...ya know wat i dont want u to have to deal wit dat shit brittany, and u souldnt have to, and ya know wat, im srry okay! Im srry...dats da best dat i can do...
Urgh ya know wat i was thinkin...maybe i sould jus like stop talkin wit everyone, all my friends, fo a lil while, and get my shit together, n get everything straighten out wit me, and fo once jus wrry bout my damn self, like everyone else does...
Ya know its always been everyone else before me, its always been friends first no matter wat, ive got walked over my whole life, jus cuz my friends mean so much to me i would drop anything and everything i had planned fo my friends, jus like wit da whole boyfriend deal...same thing, its never really been bout wat i feel or how im doing or wat im doing, its always how r they feeling, how r they doing, wat r they doing? I never really have stop n took da time fo me me me..ya know? dat prolly sounds selfish or wateva, but i know wat i mean...
Urgh im tired, ZzZzZzZzZ...
Im gonna like go off n like count sheep or something...lol Latah everyone...
1 sheep...
2 sheep...
3 sheep...
4 sheep...
5 sheep...
6 sheep...
7 sheep...
8 sheep...
9 sheep...
10 sheep...
11 sheep...
12 sheep...
13 sheep...
14 sheep...
15 sheep...
16 sheep...
17 sheep...
18 sheep...
19 sheep...
20 sheep...
21 sheep...
22 sheep...
23 sheep...
24 sheep...
25 sheep...
*starts drooling on da keyboard...*
*then notices thats its also only 25 days till me n britt get married* *giggles* lol
Okay really leavin luv you,
Love always,
~*Jilly*~
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