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Aaron
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::
2003 21 November :: 6.41pm
"when one is on narcodics, it's pretty easy to stare at a wall for ten hours and not think about anything at all"- paul d. mahugh
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Aaron
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::
2003 21 November :: 5.30pm
hey guys...how'd you put music in your journal? i think mine could really use some...
10 you constantly make it impossible to |
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Aaron
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::
2003 21 November :: 5.29pm
:: Music: unwell, matchbox twenty
unwell
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell
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Aaron
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::
2003 21 November :: 4.20pm
:: Mood: high...really fucking high...
a name for my knee
i think i'll name it...SAMMY!!! fitting...it's stupid and fat and ugly and annoying and....hehe....drugged up. my knee shall be named sammy. i watched lord of the rings this morning. my dad strapped that machine to me today, and so i wore that instead of my brace and splint until about 12:30. my mum brought me david's pizza and dr.pepper and man, this is awesome. it's like i have my own slaves...if i want music, bam, i have music. if i want food, bam, i have food. drinks are the same way. i get to pick meals...last night, chinese, tonight flank steak. the world is at my finger tips...almost. i really miss tori...i miss all of you. i'll be at school monday. probably on crutches. i have my brace so i should technacally be able to walk but it hurts like nothing i have ever felt or will ever feel. no one can comlain until they have children. my mom says the only things that hurt worse than a dislocated knee is an apendix three days from popping and, of course, birth. and she grew up on a farm. she knows pain....and more types of pain than you can imagine. but the drugs really help...god, if my sister bitches about guys having no pain tolerence i WILL kill her....kill her good. so, the other day she didn't want to go riding due to a "tummy ache"...heh heh heh....my mom even said "oh, i got it." yeah...anywho. it's swollen again, and it looks like a fat person's knee...thus the reason i named my knee sammy.
make conversation
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xxinterrupted
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::
2003 20 November :: 9.04pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: jims playstaion game
...
i just came down from my aunt and uncles.. [my gram and pap live with them.] and my pap is back from the hospital the other day. i just went up and saw him.
he's not doing so good.. but it's better than we thought he'd be..
now we can just pray, and hope for the best.
2 you constantly make it impossible to |
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Aaron
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::
2003 18 November :: 8.07pm
I AM DEATH!!!
"?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??" - Results:
Mors
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Mors
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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no...this isn't fitting at all *rolls eyes*.
6 you constantly make it impossible to |
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Aaron
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::
2003 18 November :: 7.11pm
tori...get on!!! i need someone to talk to...jen isn't saying much.
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Aaron
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::
2003 18 November :: 5.47pm
:: Mood: frustrated
so far today, as of 2:55 (sixth period for you suckers :P!)
shit...my mum said it looked like i'd be out for the rest of the week. man, i say tori today when i went to find my AR book, and it was all i could do to keep myself from grabing her and twirling her around and lauphing till my head popped. but...i'm still sick. so yeah, don't take my shitty attitude today to heart, i just feel like...well...shit. i'd rather not get you sick too.
ok, so my day has been OK. i listened to alot of evanescence and rammstien. it was cool. i'm reading this dragon song book, and it's OK, kinda easy though, but i guess since it's due next tuesday that's a good thing. my mom said she was going to get me all my home work because my fever went down and i could actually think, but i read about fifty pages in that book and my brain went dead and my fever came back. ao yeah...and fuck, people, and fuck...
next on my list of things to bitch about. i'm currently on my mom's office computer because the family one down stairs has been tweaking out since the power came back on (this morning a tree went down and got a power line and everything in our area of the grid lost power until about eleven). so yeah, i tried to fix it and i made the moniter come on, but it's still not receiving a signal. so why's it so bad to have to use my mom's computer? why do you think?
1: it's slow as hell.
2: i can't ever get on msn anymore
3: my mom bitches at me about being on it all the time
4: AIM rarely works on it
5: woohu is REALLY slow on this one
6: the one downstairs has a WAY nicer moniter. (it's a plasma screen;)!!!)
later people.
post script: if i do manage to get the computer downstairs working, i'll be on AIM and probably msn, but no garantees that i will.
2 you constantly make it impossible to |
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Aaron
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::
2003 18 November :: 12.09am
"What Usage of the Word Fuck are You?" - Results:
You are...Fucking A!
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What Usage of the Word Fuck are You?
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hehehe...friggin "A"....hehehe
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Aaron
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::
2003 17 November :: 10.59pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: some femme blues singer
*twekity tweak tweak tweak
i miss tori...i miss tori...i miss tori i misss tori i miss tori immisstoriimisstoriimisstori!!!!........*tweaks*....jesus, i need something to do...i'll talk to alex. my mom and bro want me to play this geography game with them. i don't want to have to think...i hate this flu...i my throat hurts like hell...i want to stab something...get online tori...please.
3 you constantly make it impossible to |
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Aaron
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::
2003 17 November :: 8.05pm
another vision...
*several gun shots and screaming begins*
Police comander-"everyone try to stay calm! please, remain in your seats. stay calm people"
people aboard subway-"oh my god!"
"what's happeing?"
"somebody help!"
Cihtog oracle-"what the hell happened here?"
Police commander-"i'm glad you showed up, a group of rogue karms attacked the subway."
Oracle-"is there a containment team working on it?"
commander-"yes, but there is little we can do, we were hoping you could do something"
oracle-"i'll see what i can do commander. thank you. JERICKS! CALL IN THE SENTINALS!"
that one was bizzare
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Aaron
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::
2003 17 November :: 6.56pm
:: Mood: sick
Pardon me
Pardon me while I burst
Pardon me while I burst
A decade ago, I never thought I would be.
A twenty three on the verge of spontaneous combustion
woe is me
But I guess that it comes with the territory .
An ominous landscape of never -ending calamity .
I need you to hear . I need you to see.
That I have had all I can take
And exploding seems like a definite possibility
To me
So Pardon me while I burst into flames .
I've had enough of the world , and its people's mindless games
So Pardon me while I burn , and rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me. I'll never be the same .
Not, two days ago I was having a look in a book
And I saw a picture of a guy fried up above his knees
I said I can relate
Cause lately I've been thinking of combustication
as a welcomed vacation from.
The burdens of the planet earth ,
like gravity , hypocrisy , and the perils of being in 3-D...
And thinking so much differently .
Pardon me while I burst into flames .
I've had enough of the world , and it's people's mindless games
Pardon me while I burn , and rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me. I'll never be the same .
Never be the same ...yeah .
Pardon me while I burst into flames .
Pardon me, pardon me, pardon me.
So pardon me while I burst into flames .
I've had enough of the world , and it's people's mindless games
So pardon me while I burn , and rise above the flame
Pardon me, pardon me. I'll never be the same .
Pardon me, never be the same . Yeah
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Aaron
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::
2003 17 November :: 6.47pm
:: Mood: bitchy/sick/tired
so far today i have done nothing. a day totally wasted. as relaxing and entertaining as it was, i feel horriblt. it's like in a game of chess. if there was one thing i learned form all of those days spent playing chess with that stupid fuck peter out at merlin it was this: never waste a move, because if you do and i don't, i'm one step a head of you, and good luck catching up. tori and pat should be home soon. i'm bored as hell. time to play star craft. later.
gunther
1 you constantly make it impossible to |
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Aaron
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::
2003 16 November :: 5.41pm
:: Mood: horrified
i have this feeling...like she did something to herself...something horrible...
1 you constantly make it impossible to |
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xxinterrupted
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::
2003 16 November :: 9.13pm
:: Mood: content, in a pretty good mood.
:: Music: talking to allison [amys sister]
_!@#&?
i just got back from wal*mart.. some things i bought:
2 cards for jim [one for our 1 year anniversary, which is on nov. 29.. and one to give to him tonight.. because it's cute. and i love him to pieces.]
a "big jim" [LOL it's this HUGE candy cane.. but they call it a "big jim" hahaha] that's also for jim.
letter stickers
and thats it.
we stopped at subway. and i got a sweet onion chicked teryaki sub. mmmm mmmm good.
right now i'm helping allison with her math homework. oh yeah.
okay, sorry amy hopped on the computer for a couple minutes.
so right now i'm pretty bored.. i miss jim. even though i saw him today..
i love you jim.
xx.jena
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Aaron
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2003 16 November :: 7.15pm
so what if i can't spell?? i'm fuckin sick people. it's a merical i can MOVE.
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Aaron
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2003 16 November :: 5.26pm
i must look so freakish, sitting here at 2:20 pm, still in my pajamas, stairing at a computer screen blankly with my face un-shaven and my long greasy hair plastered to my face so i can barely see at all...i think i'm going to take a nap.i just took some more advil...i'll feel better in a minute. it lasts for... *counts*...8:30 am to 2:00 pm...that's...*counts on fingers*...FIVE AND A HALPH HOURS!!! ok, yeah...i can't even count anymore...damn them korean movies...i'll never be able to look at a filled black trash bag the same again...i'll be afraid massive amounts of blood and dis-membered bodies'll fall out like in that movie...yeah...later.
1 you constantly make it impossible to |
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Aaron
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::
2003 16 November :: 5.03pm
:: Music: weilder wein, rammstein
monty python on acid
"i wonder where that fish did go. fishy fishy fishy OH!!!"
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Aaron
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::
2003 16 November :: 5.03pm
ok, so my insanity begins...i have nothing to do. no! *begins to tweak*
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Aaron
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2003 16 November :: 4.52pm
new layout
this one is close...but it's still missing something. grrr....well yeah, all my plans for today are totally fucked 'cause of this stupid flu. but hey, me and my sister just watched this korean cereal killer movie with english subtitles that had enough blood to fill an aquarium, so it's not all bad. anyway...get online people. i'm so bored. maybe me and maddy will rent more movies...she said she wanted simpsons. i want something that is funny as hell or just plain awesome, like fight club or the crow movies or something.
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Aaron
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::
2003 16 November :: 1.06pm
:: Mood: confirmed
:: Music: something...anyhting but the throbing pain in my head!
"What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?" - Results:
Your soul is bound to the White Rose: The Pure. "I've been waiting in the dark for a long time, shining my beacon of hope through the shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your eyes from me." The White Rose is associated with purity, honor, and chastity. It is governed by the goddess Artemis and its sign is The Cross, or Agape. As a White Rose, you are a person of your word. You may have a strong moral code, but regardless of your virtue, you always stay true to yourself. To you, love is the most pure of emotional forms and it's just a matter of waiting for it to bless you. Some people may say you are too idealistic, but it's only because you don't want to mess things up.
Paste this code into your web page to show off your result to others:
Your soul is bound to the White Rose: The
Pure.
"I've been waiting in the dark for a long
time, shining my beacon of hope through the
shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your
eyes from me."
The White Rose is associated with purity, honor,
and chastity. It is governed by the goddess
Artemis and its sign is The Cross, or Agape.
As a White Rose, you are a person of your word.
You may have a strong moral code, but
regardless of your virtue, you always stay true
to yourself. To you, love is the most pure of
emotional forms and it's just a matter of
waiting for it to bless you. Some people may
say you are too idealistic, but it's only
because you don't want to mess things up.
What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
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wow...i guessed that description. funny. machelle did say i was becoming fairly in-tune with myself.
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Aaron
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::
2003 16 November :: 1.45am
:: Mood: bored/tired
:: Music: rammestein
sneak to me!
someone sneak over here!!! i'm so bored...my window, if your facing my house, is on the upper left corner...put the trash can on the stairs leading to the brown newer looking fence, climb up the roof, and nock on my window...my wall is red and my room always has a purplely-blueish tint on it because of my turtle tank...and i'm a light sleeper so if i am asleep, just nock...don't confuse mine with someone elses...all of you know my adress...later.
5 you constantly make it impossible to |
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xxinterrupted
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::
2003 15 November :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: radio
my blob
aww.. look: it's my useless,
but cute, BLOB!
2 you constantly make it impossible to |
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Aaron
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::
2003 15 November :: 6.44pm
:: Mood: frustrated a little
"The ULTIMATE personality test" - Results:
Sadist
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Sadist
The ULTIMATE personality test
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ok, so here's the deal. the one i took earlier, the one that said i was a "seer", was my other me...i'd say this was a mask, but it's coming and going is affected by whom i'm with...one person actually, and i give you three guesses. "Bird", there. so yeah... when i'm with tori i'm the seer, and when i'm not, i'm a sadist. which one is me? the seer of course. it's obvious. but the other one is sort of constantly tied in...when i think it's time for someone to go, they go goddamnit!!!
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Aaron
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::
2003 15 November :: 5.26pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Evanescence fallen, the whole CD, except "bring me to life". that one pisses me off
a shit, here we go again.
i had another one to day...an anger rush...those are becoming more and more common...almost as common as the depression ones...welcome to my insanity...it lasted an hour and a half. i tried really hard to mask it, and i think i did OK. i wish i knew what triggered these. they're so annoying. now i just feel tired...i got plenty of sleep last night but those rushes eat it all away. now i'm blank...tori's not home, i tried to call her...but they turned left and not right, and their house is right...lol. private entry time. that WAS funny. kind of kawaii though...
3 you constantly make it impossible to |
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xxinterrupted
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2003 15 November :: 3.29pm
:: Mood: high
:: Music: silence
laga and other things..
so last night we went to club laga to see tear her eyes. ahhhh.. what an adventure on the way there, and the way back.. right amy? lol. we had fun.. oh yeah we did.. haha.
some funny moments:
-- HAPPY SACK TIME
-- Tampon rental.. haha
-- Me going out the In door
-- The LJS hat
-- The guys' faces at BP
-- Me and Amy dancing in the parking lot
-- CORN SQUIRTERS!!
-- PURDUE?! ::points:: IT'S HERS!
-- Ahhh Amy!! I'm so stupid for not talking..!!
[thanks amy.. i stole this from you.]
this won't mean anything to anyone other than amy and i.. haha.
I went down jims house around 12:00, and just got back at 3:20. and here i am writing in my journal.
i'm hungry as shit..
xx.jena
"Know what I'm thinking? No. Neither do I; frightening, isn't it?"
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Aaron
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::
2003 14 November :: 12.31am
:: Mood: not at all surprised
"Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?" - Results:
schizoid
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schizoid
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
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"The ULTIMATE personality test" - Results:
Seer
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Seer
The ULTIMATE personality test
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make conversation
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xxinterrupted
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::
2003 13 November :: 11.22pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: our lady peace - supermans dead
a little lot mad.
..jim ended up not coming over last night.
i'd rather not even talk about it.
1 you constantly make it impossible to |
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Aaron
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::
2003 12 November :: 11.36pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: the warmth, incubus
the warmth
I'd like to close my eyes and go numb
But there's a cold wind coming from
The top of the highest high rise today
Its not a breeze cuz it blows hard
Yes and it wants me to discard the
The humanity I know, watched the warmth blow away
So don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
So do you think I should adhere
To that pressing new frontier
And leave in my wake, a trail of fear
Should I hold my head up high
And throw a wrench and spokes by
I'm leaving the air behind me clear
So don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
So don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
Before you grow old
7 you constantly make it impossible to |
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Aaron
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::
2003 12 November :: 11.21pm
?????-...how did you remember this email adress?
me-how could i forget?
?????-does that mean you still love me?
me-no. scars don't have to be bleeding for you to see them.
?????-like that song...i hate this shit.
me-funny, she said about the same thing just now.
?????- and who is she?
me-no one you know
?????-no, tell me, now. did you find a nice girlfriend or something?
(insert fifteen lines of conversation here)
me-because you have no idea.
?????-yeah, whatever. i know pain. i know you, and your pain in a nutshell. you're pains one true definition. you bring it on all that cross your path, but then, i told you that once, didn't i???
me-you're wrong
?????-lmao, your a fuck paul, a complete fuck. whatever...have fun with terry or whoever. don't fuck her to hard, shollow bastard.
(three minutes pass)
me-her name is tori...
she wasn't signed on when i said that....i couldn't type.
5 you constantly make it impossible to |
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