iM THE GiRL WHOSE SWEEPiNG<br>YOU OFF YOUR FEET<|3

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2007 9 February :: 6.47pm

it sure has been awhile
i was just reading my old entries. i used to be so happy.

he did that. made me happy that is.

i love him for that.

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2007 25 January :: 7.34am

Good news guys. I got to school at seven this morning...*hartle* -tweak- ~zoom~

:: 2007 22 January :: 10.34pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Red Sky, Thrice

"Red Sky"
I know what lies beneath, I've seen the flash of teeth
conspiring with the reef to sink our ship
the wind's a cheating wife, her tongue a thirsty knife
and she could take your life with one good kiss

Can you see the sky turn red
as morning's light breaks over me
Know tonight we'll make our bed
at the bottom of the sea

I know the ocean speaks, I've heard her call to me
and smiling in my dreams she whispers this
(the stars retreat behind their veil
the clouds are clinging to your sail
the storm is coming can you see)

Look and see the sky turn red
Like blood it covers over me
and soon the sea shall give up her dead
We'll raise an empire from the bottom of the sea

:: 2007 22 January :: 9.43pm

I've had this song stuck in my head all weekend...Red Sky, by Thrice. It's a cool song but damn, I can't get it out...it's starting to irritate me.

14 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2007 19 January :: 1.36pm
:: Mood: hollow

I can't believe it.

Robert's dead.

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2007 18 January :: 10.21pm

I'm so tired...I need sleep and I know I probably won't get it.

Oh well.

:: 2007 17 January :: 11.36pm

You know what's funny? I'm doing all this research on gun control and MAG (mothers against guns) and the NRA have almost identical missions statements. The NRA's is longer, but they both say about the same thing. Just very different wordings.

I had myself a good laugh when I realized that.

:: 2007 17 January :: 8.51pm

Responce.
I wish it were.

:: 2007 17 January :: 8.51pm

The towers that shoulder your pride,
The words you've written in stone,
Sand will cover them,
Sand will cover you.
The streets that suffer your name,
Your very flesh and your bones,
Sand will cover them,
Sand will cover you.

So put your faith,
In more than steel,
Don't store your treasures up,
With moth and rust,
Where thieves break in and steal.
Pull the fangs,
From out your heel.
O'We live in but a shadow of the real.

Step out from time,
See the dust of nations.
Step out from time,
Hear the stars' ovation.

Saturn will not sleep until,
The sand has made us clean
Still we stack our stones and bury what we can,
But it all will be undone,
And nothing built under the Sun,
Will Ever stand before the endless march of sand.

So put your faith,
In more than steel,
Don't store your treasures up,
With moth and rust,
Where thieves break in and steal.
Pull the fangs,
From out your heel.
O'We live in but a shadow of the real.

So put your faith,
In more than steel,
Don't store your treasures up,
With moth and rust,
Where thieves break in and steal.
Pull the fangs,
From out your heel.
O'we live in but a shadow of the real

6 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2007 17 January :: 1.26pm
:: Mood: serene
:: Music: Atlantic, Thrice

Book
I'm done with this whole fear of failure thing. I'm going to step up and just write it. I've been piecing together it's elements for almost two years now. It's time to just sit down and get going.

I just don't know where to start...there's so much I want to say with this, and it feels disorganized no matter how many times I refine it.

Bah.

6 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2007 17 January :: 9.13am

My band is playing a show on February 15th. It'd be awesome if you guys could come give me emotional support...It's my first show and I'm probably going to butcher everything I do. But in any event, it should be cool. It's at the Loncoln Heights Youth Center off of 29th. I can give you directions if you like.

I don't know who else is playing...but we do this show every year and it's normally pretty good (DINS!!!). Probably not more than $5 to get in.

6 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2007 16 January :: 12.18am
:: Mood: Amazed/happy
:: Music: Heaven's on it's way

wow...
I just read my entire journal backwards. And now I know...

6 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2007 15 January :: 10.51pm
:: Mood: tired

God, I want it back...
does anyone else feel like the world has lost it's mystery?

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2007 2 January :: 1.41pm
:: Music: Hysteria, Muse

Quote of the new year:
Wake-up, fuck head. Time to live.

8 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2006 21 November :: 9.54am
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: The big medley on Michael's computer

...or maybe not.

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2006 25 October :: 9.37pm
:: Mood: Final.
:: Music: The Used

Flags of Dawn
this darkness would
eclipse our will
a cold wind blows
across these hills
a swinging gaze
from a hangman's tree
a crow's nest view
of what's left to see
the light that's formed
of saints return the silence to the snow
still beneath the craters waiting
for this time to grow

so hold on
hold tight
open daylight
we will overcome

so put away your fear
the morning star will soon appear
and bring an end
to this dark night
and we must run if we're to meet the light
watered by the blood of martyrs
blessed and blind as sons and daughters
sleep with one eye open
and live with both eyes shut
so let's find the place where sight begins
and see the things that we saw when our
eyes were bright and wet against the light

and hold on
hold tight
open daylight
we will overcome

open your eyes
over the new sight
fly the flags of dawn

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2006 27 July :: 5.31pm
:: Mood: Accomplished
:: Music: Kyo, Le Chemin (again, the whole album)

"This is it; The moment you've ALL been waiting for..."
Today, I was getting paranoid about Jessica again. The most irrational thing I could possibly do, especially when I consider how we were talking about how much we liked each other and how uncannily compatible we are not eight hours earlier.

I quickly realized my folly:

I'm not full in. I've picked up the bat, I'm at the plate, the ball has been thrown. A curve ball. If I swing, I might miss. I might hit it. I've no way to tell other than what I know of my own abilities. I've not totally committed yet...I'm still afraid. Hence I get paranoid. I've decided I'm done being afraid. I'm ready to swing. I'll do everything within my power to get that ball out of the park. I'm leaving my old self behind.

Look back through the pages of this journal. The boy you see thoughout most of it is now dead. I've let him die -nay, killed him- because he was not who I was meant to be I am something more...something better. I hope you can see that now.

Ultimately, there are only two things holding my old self in reality. Our memories, which will fade and tarnish, and this journal, which I have the opportunity to destroy.

I'm taking it. I've sent the website a request to have it deleted. I don't need anything on here anymore. I'm letting it all go...

...I'm swinging my bat. For God, for myself, for her.

I don't know how long it will take...but it'll be soon.

Later.

8 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2006 11 July :: 9.25pm
:: Mood: Solemn
:: Music: Drops of Jupiter, Train

"...And with a note of Finality"
I've said in the past that First Love never dies...

-pulls trigger-

...I lied.

:: 2006 9 July :: 5.56pm

Four hours and thirty-seven minutes.

Holy-crap.

I used to make fun of people for talking that long...and I just did it. I feel bad though, her mom was angry...She couldn't figure out what we could talk about for that long...and to tell the truth, neither can I.

I test at Sylvan tomorrow morning. I have to get tutored in Algebra II so I can pass the Asset tests and get into a decent math course. I need my AA when I graduate so I can apply for WSU or WWU.

Start work Tuesday morning.

I might have a French dude come live in my house for three weeks. That'd be seriously awesome.

I'm hungry.

I need food.

-Later-

6 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2006 2 June :: 4.31pm

i was just reading some of my old entries. i should have seen this coming, and yet how naive i was to still be so happy.

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2006 17 May :: 4.01am

open house

june 10th 2:00-5:00
my house.

be there.

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2006 7 May :: 9.09pm

just got back from the tim and faith concert. it was great.

my ears are ringing...

im nervous about this, but i trust you. know that ok?