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2006 15 January :: 10.20pm
i LOVE every other saturday...... they're always perfect. ALWAYS, and yesterday was no exception. i say everyother saturday because i dont work every other saturday and keegan never works saturdays.. so we get to be together all day long.
we're both semi broke right now.. so for most the day we just lounged around his house. i got teh 8th season of friends, his mom made one of my favorite dinners (tatertot caserole) and it was just nice to be home all day. then we met stacy, dani, dustin, devin, and brandi downtown and saw that pink floyd laser show at the planetarium (sp). which was most deffinately an acid trip... lol. i dont think you get the full effect if you're not stoned.... which heaven knows we werent... laughs* but it was pretty cool. WAY to much stimulation for the eyes though. ouuuch. after that me and keegan went to oasis which was wonderful. we got there around 12 and had the greek room reserved which i've been wanting to see since prom last year. it was amazing. (keegan popped his OTHER shoulder out of joint a few days ago.. so its been pretty sore.. hense us going to oasis and me having an "excuse" to get a new bathing suit.... giggles) but yeah... it was awesome. i thought it was an indoor room, but we walked in and theres murals all over the walls and a fire place and statues.... but no ceiling. it was just beautiful. the perfect end to the perfect night. then we went home and fell asleep and got up this morning to go to a new church. we're looking for a church. we went to Sparta babtist this morning... which was nice, but we wanna try a bunch of different ones.. so if you have an suggestions... comment. we're looking for a contemporary service with contemp. music. and we're not looking to become involved with a youth group... just sundays.
everything just feels so right. not only are we going on 14 strong months.. but we're still so incredibly happy. never have we almost "broke up", because we're mature enough to handle our arguments. i've never felt this way before. EVER. i thought i did once... i though THAT was love... and i couldnt have been more wrong. now, i find myself falling in love with my best friend... and although its a process that may take anywhere from a month to a couple years to fully develop... im looking so forward to that moment that i've been dreaming of my whole life.. where i can look that ONE person in the eyes express that age old 3 letter phrase that people have been saying since the dawn of time.
we're so on track with eachother. and i think its awesome that we're growing spiritually together.
*smiles* i admire you!
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2006 13 January :: 8.58am
ok, so yesterday i was furious.
but i realize that it wasnt about talent....
and at least becky and i gave a piece of our minds and got to see the large animal turn red in the face and squirm like the pathetic lowly person she is.
AND i schedualed a facial yesterday... and after that, who could be upset?!
my skin feels so rejuvinated. everybody should experience one!
orgasmic... really.
*giggles.... later kids
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2006 10 January :: 9.43pm
i tried out today. i reallly want wendy. sooo incredibly bad. but i guess we'll see what happens.
talk about one hell of a night... and nobody could EVER know what i mean by that.
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2006 6 January :: 9.14am
i just about have the best most wonderfulest boyfriend in the entire world.
everyday he amazes me in a whole new way.
last night my sister was sick. (she's 5) and if you know me at all... im the same as my mom. we dont take to well to.... errmmm.. you know ( i dont even like to say it) i remember this because it was the same way when i was growing up. call it weak stomachs i guess...... but keegan stayed at our house last night and helped take care of shelby.
everytime she had to get sick he stood behind her stroking her little back and telling her that it would all be ok. then he cleaned her little face off and talked to her about random things to get her mind off it. just watching how good he is with her makes me want to melt. he could have just left, no one asked him to stay... but he cares about her so much that he wanted to help.. and he wanted to help my mom.
how many guys would do that? i really did get a good one and will by no means let him go.
and waking up this morning was so much nicer knowing i had someone by my side.
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2006 1 January :: 9.19pm
so i think i've decided that im gonna go on doing pageants. i think i have the right kind of personality, and if you do those things right the scholarships you get are amazing. i could PAY my way through college and be making a difference at the same time. if i really set my mind to it... i dont think i'll win all of them.. but i definatly think i could get down to the last 10 or so... and either way.. i know from experience that the pageant process itself is an amazing experience. plus i have a pretty impressive resume for one. i decided this while i took a bath tonight.... honestly.. a candle lit bubble bath is where you come up with and figure out the BEST things. plus my mom has a skylight.. and nothing is more relazing than listening to a gentle rain.
im scared about high school ending.. ANXIOUS but scared.... and for the first time in my life i have a plan. its so reassuring to know where i want to go with my life. and if i change my mind about this whole interior design thing.... at least i'll have a great side hobby to fall back on later in life! we went to schulers today and i found this book that was just amazing. it was 40 dollars.. but covered every (well im sure not EVERY) aspect of interior design.. even down to tips on creating your sample board. i think im gonna get it tomorrow. and when im done with this entry im gonna look at different colleges and their design programs.
its just so exciting to have an outline for my life. i've never had that before. i've never been sure about something so HUGE. im extremely indecisive. VENDING machines are a hassel for me! wayyy to many options! so when it comes to my life, and where im going to be in the future... you cant even imagine how confused i get. i havent ever delt with the whole "future" issue before. i just kind of made it through school.. and here i find myself at the end, and i was about ready to break. what kind of 17 year old doesnt have a career picked out? well i'll tell ya from experience.... a very normal one! i now know that im just lucky that i've chosen a career... because you cant just do that overnight. i dont think we should be rushed into deciding the rest of our lives! and i was feeling really down because i thought EVERY one had it figured out except for me. that is NOT the case. design is a passion that i've been practicing for years... and i didnt even know it! my room has always been a haven for me.. and a reflexion of my style. when we lived with brandi i was going crazy because i didnt have a space of my own. it sucked! i need that one place that just screams ME everywhere ya know? i'm very big on personal style.. and even though yes, i do wear abercrombie sometimes... i like to think i have my own style. its the little things that make me unique. i just love fasion and i think you're home should be a reflexion of everything that makes you feel like YOU. ughh.. im just SO excited!
*smiles really big......
with all these "plans" or whatever.. i've realized that in order to stay confident and focused i HAVE to get in shape. im not toooo far from it.. but far enough. i need to have alot of energy. i have a good head on my shoulders... and like i said in my last entry... i dont have any type of negative thing affecting me. that means i have no excuse not to suceed. i just have stay in shape and be on my toes. i am SO ready to embrace life. i wasnt put here to sit in cedar springs the rest of my life. and yeah.. everyone "hates" Cedar and wants to get out... but ya know what.. this is my home. and has always been my home. even though i know that there are bigger things out there... i know that in littler nowheresville michigan.. theres a small town that holds all my memories and the foundation for the rest of my life! i dont think you're SUPPOSED to want to stay in your hometown for the rest of your life! and lets face it... Cedar Springs is all over the united states. there are towns just like ours in every single 20 mile radius of every state... just a few different variations.. and some BIG cities like new york. dont be naive and think that this is the only small "hick" town around! this is our starting place.... not ending! be thankful for that! whether you want to admit it or not... this town has helped make us who we are. if we lived in LA we'd all have much different ambitions.
im just so content with my life right now.... and its so wonderful to feel this good!
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2005 18 December :: 9.13pm
yesterday was the battle in detroit.
i must say it started out rough.. very rough. rough as in i said maybe 10 words the entire way there... thats 3 hours of 10 words people. no no no.. 3 hours of 10 words approximately 20 thousand break dance beats and lingo between 3 dance junkys that would be enough to drive any sane person to stab 3 forks and a spoon into their eye.
we got there 2 hours early. 6 to be exact.
the bboying was sposed to start at 8, NOTHING started (except for the cyphers) until 9:30 and 61syx didnt battle until 11:30. now tell me, how much fun would a breakdancers GIRLFRIEND have for 5 hours surrounded by a zillion talented dancers in a hispanic youth center? tons actually....! once we got there and started driving around detroit it was just really exciting (i had never been there before) we went to this burger king and all the workers were black and they were just so funny. just like the ann arbor battle.. im amazed at the way people can move their bodies. i had no idea how INSANE breakdancing can be. i've seen clips on keegans computer of other crews.. but when you actually SEE them... hooooolly wow.
61syx took prolly 8th out of 16 which is pretty good for a crew thats only been together for a year.. versus Chicago Tribe whos been together for 6. (they won by the way)
it was just incredible... very cool INDEED. but yeah.. so we didnt leave until about 1.. got lost trying to find the CORRECT high way, seems how there's 80 of them (ish).
but above all i love curling up and falling asleep after a long day with the person who just 'gets' me most.....and then waking up and eating chilli... lol. gotta love keegans mom.
yesterday before the battle we went to a distribution center in grand rapids for toys for tots (we being me, my beloved red flannel girls, emily secor, shannon potter, and keegan) and helped familys pick out toys for their children. we did this last year for red flannel, and loved it so much that we just HAD to go back this year. its the absolute best experience we had last year, and now we have another incredible memory. its such an eye opening experience. you meet all these people who are just so blessed to have an organization to help them out. all day i was waiting for that ONE person that would teach me the biggest lesson, that i would remember most. and finally i found her. she was middle age woman, very well kept and so incredibly nice. and when i greeted her she told me that this was her first time so she would be so happy if i walked her through it and helped her out (which we do for all the people anyway) when i told her that she could pick 3 toys per child and a stocking stuffer she was in disbelief and kept saying how wonderful it was. immediatly i noticed this incredible energy to her. when we got to the teenage table i told her that she could pick one toy because we had a shortage when it got to that agegroup and told her that that's one thing we want to change next year. she replied with "oh its fine. and SOO greatfully received, truely it is. this is such a blessing" a little bit later she told me that her girls (4 of them) lost everything in a housefire. all their christmas gifts, possesions.. everything.. and then proceeded to tell me that it was their father who set the house on fire. with everything that this woman had been through, she still found the courage to be strong and ask for help when her family needed it the most. i didnt want her to leave.. i just wanted to continue talking to her and feed off her high energy. it was so wonderful.
it just makes a person realize that you never know when you're going to need help from your community. thats what we're here for. to help eachother out. this woman made the comment that "god willing, next year it will ME thats helping other people in situations like mine out" and i couldnt have said it better myself. as community members we all need to step it up to help others in need.. and no im not just trying to be corny or whatever else you might call me... but if you dont believe how much you can truely do for your community even by donating an hour of your time to talk to people who just need someone to listen.. then please contact a distribution center for next year and see for yourself how great a need even just OUR community and surrounding communitys are for added help. you never know when it could be YOU thats asking for help.
above all, toys for tots finally got me locked into the christmas spirit. i just feel like making christmas cookies and going caroling! lol.. and ACTUALLY.. i was talking to linds a bit ago and we'd really like to go with a nice sized group. so if anyone is interested leave me a comment and perhaps we can set something up for this week.
i hope everyone has a great break and a great christmas.
STAY SAFE on the roads!
*winks... later kids.
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2005 16 December :: 11.56am
ugh.. i can NOT believe we have a snow day today.
last night i filled out 70 fucking christmas cards for staff appreciation (student senate committe) and now what.. i give them to them AFTER christmas? not to mention i bought a whole bunch of food to put in the staff lounge... now its just sitting in my kitchen. BAH...
and i was really looking forward to drama. i made peanut butter balls last night and everything. GAH.
oh.. and i better say goodbye to saturdays. thursdays are gone. but hey "its only for 4 months" yeah the rest of my senior year.. GOOD thing it wont be focused on me. fuck that.
STUPID SNOW DAY!
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2005 13 December :: 10.25pm
i just registered for my ACTs after my mom came in my room and fucking attacked me.
she walks in and says "you need to see your guidance officer or something" i turn and look at her like what the fuck.. and she starts going off about college and how its not her responsibility to line it up for me and in that same five minutes it some how spirialed to if i dont go to college i cant live here and blah blah blah.
you dont just COME into my room and tell me that i need to see a counselor and expect me not to get pissed off. i had no idea what the fuck she was talking about until she started in on her rant.
if its SO important to her then why is this the first time i've heard of it? and it was totally out of the blue.. completely random.
of COURSE im going to college.. but im going to CC... i havent been terribly worried that they wont let me in. i mean for the love of god woman...
so in retaliation i filled in all that un-needed information for like an hour and woke her up to get her credit card number. TAKE THAT! HA! laughs* whatever.
im so sick of all this "realization" stuff that its almost over. i dont care about anything except that its DONE. college will come when it comes... which i've ALWAYS been planning will be the very next year dear mother.... and life will follow shortly after.
im ready for bigger better things... away from everything here that has ever givin me limitations.
and on a second thought.... im about to go loco on the entire yearbook class. granted.. its a select few that make it miserable.. well.. not miserable because yearbook is pretty much the best thing ever.... more like irritating and stressful. FUCK YOU stupid people! YEAH..... i love my bitches. (stacy, jess and jess) well..i love alison too.. but she's to sweet to be refered to as my bitch! not that they're MY bitches.... but they know what i mean.
night dolls.
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2005 11 December :: 10.29pm
wow... some girls are just sad.
jess and stacy... i love you!
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2005 7 December :: 10.51pm
stacy... reading that, i think made my heart stop beating. i dont remember breathing for a couple of minutes and my eyes welled up... which they hardly do. i miss you guys being "you guys" so much. and i'll support you in whatever decision you make. just know that you wont have to stand on your own and i love you sooo much!
:)
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2005 7 December :: 8.46am
sometimes you drive me crazy. this morning was perfect until you started feeling sorry for yourself. and as much as i want to just slap you and be like "QUIT WITH THE SELF PITY" i cant because i hate to see you upset. you have alot of stress this month... and sometimes i make it worse. i apologize for that. you know i've got your back though... as stupid and cliche as that sounds.. thats what we do. we catch each other when we fall... i know there are times i wouldnt beable to stand on my own without your support. and i pray to god that i make you feel the same.
i dont know whats wrong with me lately. i've been really depressive(ish) barely anything sets me into it... and hardly nothing gets me out of it. i dont understand. winter is supposed to be overwhelming in its beauty... and all i can concentrate on is how cold it is. how i lost my 4 dollar gloves, or how i'm ruining my "winter" boots by wearing them out in the snow. its hard enough that i can wear my heels in the snow.
and with the whole heels thing. i feel at times that i've become just that. the girl who wears heels everyday. i know it sounds stupid. but i also know that poeple have probably said amongst themselves something along the lines of "why does she wear those everyday" and no i dont care, but then again i guess i do. in a way i hide my insecurities in wearing them. i used to be really self concious about how i walked. now im not anymore. yeah.. im just gonna stop.. whatever.
i just hate school. and a part of me thinks that its just because of algebra. i dont mind any of my classes except that one.. first hour. so i have no motivation to get out of bed in the morning... which yeilds all my absences. the only reason i took that class was because one of my stupid math teachers told me that if i didnt i'd HAVE to take it in college and they would make me pay for it but it wouldnt count towards my credits. well its a good thing that's not true.. ESP after im in a class that im failing. it doesnt help that i have babbit. like im really gonna go home and do algebra for an hour. i hate the subject, im not gonna use it later in life, and its making me miserable. yeah.. i could suck it up and try harder and all that jazz.. but im a senior. i just want to get out of here. sorry if im not to concerened with one stupid grade. BUT this one stupid grade is gonna bring down my GPA. thats just GREAT.
i went christmas shopping yesterday... hoping to get it finished, far from that. which further put me in a bad mood. and what do i do when im in a bad mood? i take it out on whoever happens to be around me at that time.... sorry again doll.
i just go through phases where i hate existance.
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2005 5 December :: 8.46am
why does it have to be freezing in this school.
our stupid seminar thing is today... im just shooting to remember my monologue and get it over with. nobody wants to do it... nobody is going to be receptive of what we're trying to say. as far as im concerned its just a waste of our time. like its really gonna make people in OUR high school stop and think. everyones got their eyes closed to tight to see whats in front of them.. so who are we to tell them what to change.
saturday was the battle in ann arbor, it was pretty cool. i cant believe how good some people are. i mean... around here keegans crew is one of the only breakdancing crews around.. then you down to an organized thing where there are people from all over the state and you realize that break dancing is more than just a past time.. its an entire community of dedicated dancers. it really is more of an art than dancing. when they move their bodies command your attention. none of this hip hop shit that we see in our school.. i mean genuine dancing. it really makes me respect all the people who can actually DO it.. ESPECIALLY the Bgirls.
after we left the U of M... (it was in their rec center) we brought micah back to eastern and went up and saw his dorm for a little bit. i could NEVER live in a dorm. lets just leave it at that! i miss micah... and i reallllllly miss micah and keegan together. its like the shawn without the cory ya know?
hopefully i can get all my christmas shopping done this week or the next. i get paid today... but i know it wont be much. shiiiiiiiiit.
well.. i suppose i should get to doing something productive.
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2005 1 December :: 7.28pm
Senior Pictures.
the pictures are showing up now
out of the 150 some proofs we got back, these are the ones we ordered. soooo... tell me which ones are your favorite.... ACTUALLY tell me which one you want a wallet of (if you're worthy) *giggles... im kidding. but really though.... telll meeee.
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2005 30 November :: 9.16am
this weekend i had the most exhilerating experience. i went to keegans and he worked me really good. my WHOLE body was like spinning. It was great. I finally understand what hard work it is. i mean, i was sweating, breathing hard, and it even a hurt a little bit. they always say that it does. that its not as easy as some may think. keegan stressed that it's all in the form and positions... and you absolutely HAVE to throw your hips into it or it just doesnt work. im so sore today in all the right places...................................................
because we were BREAK DANCING. mwah ha ha. yeah, picture that. little teeny tiny me "breakin it down". *giggles. it was really fun though. you dirty minded fools. pshhh.
break was pretty good... i hate school. i hate being here. i honestly wouldnt mind it as much if it didnt start so early. waking up at 6 is the hardest thing for me to do.... gahh..
i got most all my christmas shopping down this week. noo.. not on black friday, that could have killed me.... did you see that footage of people getting trampled! geeeesh. i got keegan all taken care of which is a HUGE chunk of my shopping. at the end of the holiday season... i'll probably be about 500 dollars in the hole.. and thats only including my mom, keegan, little sister, and brandi. yikes... its a good think i dont have bills to pay.
i feel like scrubbing it the whole rest of the year... yeah... sounds like a plan....
OOOHH.. we ordered my senior pictures yesterday. im so excited to get them back. my mom ordered a ginourmous one too. 16x20 i think it was..... woot hoot!
oook, im pretty sure thats my life so far..
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2005 27 November :: 1.04pm
i know have a dozen roses hanging from every corner of my room. not to mention the 6 dried roses in different parts of my room and a vase full or dried rose buds from Scrooge last year. im so spoiled :)
yesterday was rough.... but then it wasnt. and we went to our restraunt (terriyaki and sushi) (btw, im not in the mood to correct my spelling errors) and everything was fine. the servers in there dont even give us menus anymore and automatically bring us 2 waters and big bowls of soup before we even order. *smiles.....
next saturday im going to ann arbor with keegans crew for a battle down there. hopefully it'll be exciting.. im sure it will.
AND we're getting a christmas tree next weekend from one of those old fashion horse hitched amish tree farms.... so we'll have our own christmas tree at his house in the same spot we exchanged gifts last year. the basement next to the couch where we shared our first kiss.
this will be a GREAT holiday season.
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2005 27 November :: 9.33am
It's now official.
Comment to be added.
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2005 26 November :: 12.09pm
:: Mood: depressed
i thought everything was going good, until last night.. and then everything got blown back up in my face.
nothings good enough for anyone, so leave me the fuck alone. everyones a fucking asshole to me anymore. i don't do anything right, and when i do do something right someone has to say something to me and make me feel like fucking shit about it.
i might as well just not have any friends or anything, it all comes back at me in my fucking face.. no matter what i do with who. it's always a problem.
STOP TXTING MY PHONE STUPID ASSHOLES. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE.. LET HIM DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WHENEVER HE WANTS WITH WHO EVER THE FUCK HE WANTS. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE, I REALLY DON'T SO STOP TELLING ME THINGS THAT JUST UPSET ME.
you don't even fucking know what goes on in my head anymore.
so fuck off, i'm so serious. don't call/text my phone anymore. i'm tired of this bullshit.. i'm not even going to talk or hang out with any of my friends anymore. maybe that'll make things better.
this is my last entry that's public.. this is MY journal. I CAN WRITE WHAT I WANT ABOUT WHO I WANT. have a problem? don't read.
the rest of my journal entries will now be "Friends Only"
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2005 25 November :: 2.49pm
the first year has come and gone... and couldnt have been any more beautifull than it was. you make it beautifull... well actually... together we made it beautifull.
yesterday was perfect. lots of food, family, and togetherness. exactly how it should have been. :)
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2005 23 November :: 5.28pm
:: Mood: disappointed
You're all I keep thinking of and I can't get you out of my head. No matter how hard I try it's just never gonna happen. And you know what's amazing to me, that I would do anything to be with you, and you don't see it at all. You just throw me away like I'm some freakin piece of garbage and I just keep running back to you.
Tell me what's wrong with this picture.
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2005 23 November :: 10.01am
:: Mood: okay
it's a really good day today.
i'm in a great mood.
ben and i went to rochelles last night
[awwweee love you rochelle!!]
tonight hopefully ben rochelle and i are going to hang out.
depending on if i'm still 'fighting' with my aunt loraine.
and it depends on if it snows.
awwwe.. love you two!!
PICTURES:
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2005 22 November :: 9.35am
on a side note... can we say irresponsible.
*rolls eyes... moron.
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2005 22 November :: 8.58am
ok... in case anybody was NOT aware.. which im assuming most are not... the Holly Hop this year is a semi formal dance just like swirl or homecomming and is on saturday december 17th. yes ladies.. this means pretty dresses. ok, now im getting fairly frustrated.... and just for your further reference it is the freshmen that are planning this dance. if you knew about the dance prior to this entry please comment and tell me how you found out.... im trying to see how many people have actually HEARD hazels "announcements" because i havent... and he cant get it through his head that nobody is aware of when or what the dance is. most people only know of it through "rumors" or from me. so yeah... please comment on this issue.. EVERYONE... PLEASE.. because im very displeased with the planning of this event.
in other news.... *ponders if displeased is even a word* things have been going fairly smoothly. (in all aspects)
thursday is mine and keegans first year.... thats what we've decided to call it. why limit ourselves to "one" when we can say it's the first. its on thanksgiving.. so the day will be filled with family, food, and lots of US time. i think it works out nicely because we REALLY have something to be thankfull for. :)
GUESS what.... keegans dance crew (61syx technique) just got hired by the GR Rampage to dance at all their home games. its a paid contract deal and they're getting sponsered by a gym... they'll get jerseys with their BBoy names on em, 2 free tickets each to all the games and lots of publicity. im so excited for them! there's 5 of them... which just goes to show how good they are.. to get such an amazing opportunity... not to mention all the money they'll be making. *smiles....... as if enough people dont recognize keegan wherever we go... the guy told them that about 9 thousand people come to each game.. and there's 8 home game games.... say about 72 thousand people... yeah.. i'd say this is their big break! im so proud......
i'm VERY MUCH looking foward to sleeping in everyday of break. i have to work every day but thursday though.... aww well. i think friday im gonna get up really early and go shopping. i'd like to get a video camera for my mom for christmas.. figure that'd be the best day to get a good deal on one.
so yeah... i think that about covers it..
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2005 19 November :: 10.06am
the play is going really well.
and if anyone ever goes to eat at the IHOP on the beltline i will personally kick your ass for being stupid. im sure ashley will too. that place can burn....
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2005 17 November :: 9.05pm
:: Mood: depressed
So now that I wrote about my drama with Jim today.. I figured I'd write about my days.
Yesterday.. [Wed.] Becky Amy and I got in trouble for the whole "Jumping into the trunk" thing. Becky and I got 1 day after school, and Amy got 20 days without her driving pass.. Mr. Telerico laughed about it, said it was funny blah blah blah. The funny thing is, is that the teacher wouldn't have even known if some LOUD MOUTH would have kept her f-ing mouth shut.
Today [Thursday] I presented my graduation project. I went in there, I was prepared.. then I went to put my video in and it wouldn't work. I cried in front of 7 teachers.. But I guess something was wrong with the VCR they used because someone elses didn't work either.. so I went back up like an hour later and showed them my video. I brought Gabby with me, and they were all like "awwww she's beautiful." Yeah, she is. I know. :)
I was just messing around and I took this quiz..
what a co-ink-i-dink::Read more..
1 you constantly make it impossible to |
make conversation
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brokenmentality
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2005 17 November :: 8.55am
yesterday was the first snowfall of the season... which marks the day keegan asked me to be his girlfriend.... it may not be the technical date... but its the symbolic day. I can't wait till the 24th when we can finally wear our rings engraved "the first year". just a symbol of our relationship.. not promise rings, just a symbol.
1 you constantly make it impossible to |
make conversation
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xxinterrupted
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2005 15 November :: 8.09pm
:: Mood: depressed
So Doctor Beck, Mono is the sickness that I have?
Damn.
School is dumb, I want it to be Christmas break..
I am depressed.. still.
Although we've come to the end of the road
Still I can't let go,
It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you
Here, here I am again
And I'm starin at these same four walls
Alone again
And now, all the colors blend
And I'm growing numb
And I've become this empty page
Hold on, its tragic
Stumbling through all this static
I just wanna talk to you
And my broken heart just has no use
And I guess promises are better left unsaid, yeah
Everytime you try to tell me
You say the words that I'm the only
But I'm the one who's crawling on the ground
When you say love makes the world go 'round
Oh, the things lovers do when it's over
Oh, the things lovers do when it's done
Find a cool bottle or a warm shoulder
Wake up older
And try to move on
4 you constantly make it impossible to |
make conversation
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xxinterrupted
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2005 15 November :: 9.47am
:: Mood: depressed
Now everytime I see you
I pretend I'm fine
When I wanna reach out to you
But I turn and I walk and I let it ride
Baby I must confess
We were bigger than anything
Remember us at our best
And don't forget about
Late nights, Late nights, playing in the dark
and waking up inside my arms
And wakin' up inside my arms
Boy, you'll always be in my heart and
I can see it in your eyes
You still want it
So don't forget about us
I'm just speaking from experience
Nothing can compare to your first true love
So I hope this will remind you
When it's for real, it's forever
So don't forget about us
Oh they say
That you're in a new relationship
But we both know
Nothing comes close to
What we had, it perseveres
That we both can't forget it
How good we used to get it
There's only one me and you
And how we used to shine
No matter what you go through
We are one, that's a fact
That you can't deny
So baby we just can't let
The fire pass us by
Forever we'd both regret
So don't forget about
I hate the way I feel.. I hate what I do to myself..
make conversation
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xxinterrupted
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2005 14 November :: 5.15pm
:: Mood: depressed
So yesterday, [Sunday] Rochelle and I went to the mall/movies.
We saw SAW2.
Real good.
I went over Jims.
Jeff made me laugh.
"chilly willy" teehee
Stayed. [yayyyyyyyyyyy. I love being with him!]
Went to school.
And here I am.
What a glorious evening.
P.S.
Yes, Jim, I am jealous.
And you hold it over my head.
I hate it.
And I hate the way you talk to her on the phone.
I love you. I'll wait.
2 you constantly make it impossible to |
make conversation
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yadiffy04
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2005 14 November :: 7.04am
Hey, well Im getting ready to go to school... Everythings been good so far, we had a compitition on Sat, and durmmline got second place w00t! Well, I wanna know who reads this, so if you do, drop me a comment.
3 you constantly make it impossible to |
make conversation
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