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2005 11 November :: 8.09pm
:: Mood: sick
So Wednesday night I went to sleep pretty early because I was more tired than usual.. at about 11:00, my cell rang. It was Jim. We talked for about 2 hours. It was one of the best conversations we've had in a long time. We talked about us, what's going on.. and everything is okay between us. Yes, I do still have feelings for him, and he says he feels the same.. but we're just going to stay friends for a while to see how things go.
Thursday was okay, school was long and boring. I woke up late, and didn't get a shower.. LOTS OF DRAMA WITH THE BUMPER HITTING INCIDENT in the morning!! Haha, [[I was backing up and Rocco or w/e his name is pulled right out in back of me and I hit the left side of his bumper. His mom was in the car with him and everything.. no damage. But I just don't understand how he couldn't see that I was backing up.. I was almost in my spot.. so then I locked my keys in the truck.]] We had an activity period, so I was looking for my keys to put something on it, and I couldn't find them.. so I called Uncle Don and he said he couldn't find anyone to bring the spare key out.. so he told me just to ride the bus.. but no. I couldn't ride the bus home. Becky and I had to jump in the back of Amys TRUNK to get rides home. Hahhaha. So we rode down the drive way and Amy stopped at the stop sign, and popped the trunk. Becky and I got out quickly, and jumped in the car. HAHAHA. Good times!!
I went home and slept until 5:00 [I was starting to feel sick.] then I got a shower, and got ready for our 2006 Senior Party. Becky and I dressed up as The Flinstones. Real cute. I'll post pictures later.. I definitly had a lot of fun.. After I drove Becky home, parked at Amys, and Amy drove me down Jims to stay. I stayed had a good time, I love him a lot. What am I going to do?? Ahhh.. anyways, I left about 11:30, Amy came to pick me up I stayed at her house for a while, went to Becks to drop off my costume then I went home. I got home and felt like F-ing SHIT. I slept until about 3:00, then My Aunt Di and Don R came over to take Gram out to dinner.. I went to the doctors at 4:00.. I have strep and an ear infection in my left ear. I'm on Penicillin now for 7 days. Blahhhhh.. I have being sick.
I was supposed to go to the movies with Rochelle.. but I called her house 2 times today and once no one answered, and the second some lady answered and was rude.. uhhh, okay, sorry Rochelle. I tried to call..
k,love.
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2005 8 November :: 8.51pm
:: Mood: gloomy
So Monday, (yesterday) Jim Gabby and I went to the mall. I had a good time, I hope Jim did too.. I bought a new purse.
Today Becky and I went to Kings.
Tomorrow we're going to get our costumes for Senior Night Thursday.
Pictures::
Read more..
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2005 8 November :: 4.53pm
:: Mood: calmer...but still hurt
:: Music: I never told you what I did for a living
Old friends...
So deep and down we go
down
and down we go
and down we go
and down we go
And we fall down right here
i tried
And we'll all disown to the sound of your death
We'll love again, hold hands again
and its better off this way
and never again
and never again
they gave us two shots to the back of the head
and we're all dead now
well never again
and never againt
they gave us two shots to the back of the head and we're all dead, now
I tried
one more night
one more night
laugh out cry out laugh out cry out laugh out loud
cause its dry for life
I tried
I tried
I tried
and we'll love again
we'll laugh again
we'll cry again
and we'll dance again
and its better off this way
so much better off this way
and never again
we'll never again
they gave us two shots to the back of the head and we're all dead now
fitting...there were days when all of [them] would have come running...and I don't see one of them...not one. Proof, I guess, that there really wasn't a place for me anyway.
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2005 6 November :: 9.56pm
:: Mood: Excited
:: Music: This bizarre piano my dad has playing.
I have a MySpace!
http://www.MySpace.com/prince_of_heaven
Come check it out!
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2005 6 November :: 5.24pm
:: Mood: calm
Wow I havn't looked at this in a while, damn... Ok well, Im a freshman, 14, birthday = December 27 . Um i have a g/f now as on Friday night, her name is Jennifer. Im on the High School drummline, Im pulling A's and B's in my classes. Um I havnt updated in a while, I have a compitition tomorrow after school, um...... Im sorry if you all hate me cause i dont update, i just havnt had time, band killes your social life, and what you have left of it Im with my g/f or friends/family. My life consists of music, concert band, drummline, marching band, rock band, church band,...ect... So yah, that me in a nutshell I have 2 bros a snake 2 dogs a mom and a dad. Soo, ill update more often, sorry again!
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2005 6 November :: 11.23am
:: Mood: depressed
So it has been an all around bad weekend. It started off at work Friday, though I really don't want to talk about it.. [friends only entry!]
So I tried to call Jim to see what he was doing, Jeff answered to phone. Our convo:
Jeff Hello?
me Hey, is Jim there?
Jeff Uhh, no he got kicked outta the house last night.
me What? Where did he go?
Jeff I don't know.
then we said bye or whatever.. and I haven't heard from Jim since. What a nice guy, huh? I'm sitting here worrying about him all weekend, and he probably doesn't even care. His mom keeps calling me to see if he called me to tell me where he is.. but I have to keep telling her no, because he really hasn't even called me.
Later that night Becky and I went to the football game at Ringgold. I ate like everything. The food looked soo good. We lost 7-48. We actually left early, so we didn't get to see us score a touch down.
Saturday I went to Gabrielle Brothers. I got some toys for Christmas for Gabrielle, and some shirts for myself. I spent $90.12.. good job on my part. I thought I was going to spend more. <3333
Saturday night Becky and I went to the mall.. for like 3 minutes. LMMFAO. Good times though.. we'll go again, maybe for longer this time.. and maybe I'll actually buy my purse!! We went to Burger King to see TUBBY!! [[Kristen.. love you!!]] Then I took her home, and I came home and went online for a while.
Today I'm just lounging around the house.. I'm gonna post some pictures of gabby today. Later Bridg and I are supposed to go to the movies.
kbye!
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2005 3 November :: 9.31pm
:: Mood: apathetic
Nothing new in the life of Jena lately. No new gossip to talk about, Gab is still sick, I am still depressed, and nothing dramatic happened between Jim and I happened.. I haven't even called him since Tuesday.. it's now Thursday.
Anyone elses life this dull?
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2005 2 November :: 3.00pm
:: Mood: stressed
I skipped school yesterday and went to Jims.
We talked.
I don't think we'll get back together.
We're seriously just friends now.. I'm gonna try very hard.
I do still love him, but we he thinks were better off apart.
He told me that I was high maintnance..
I cried a lot. He said he didn't know why I wanted him back so much.
He saw my leg.
We'll try this for a while. See how things go.
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2005 2 November :: 9.30am
its been a semi-long while.
halloween was just a normal day for us. we figured we're to old to go trick or treating, and we didnt have my sister so its not like we had any reason to go. instead we went to the outback, and had one of those perfect nights that we have so often. PLUS we got some new games from toys R us.... and that was wonderful.
i havent really been up to much lately. just work, wizard, and keegan. oh and throw failing algebra in there too. but its all good..
i think im begining to slip away from woohu.... i dont really have much to update anymore. it seems so much easier to update when im depressed and upset, like i take the good times and the good days for granted. i dont know... maybe its time people actually had to start getting to know me instead of reading about me in my journal.
yeah.. that sounds like a good idea.
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2005 31 October :: 11.58am
:: Mood: depressed
Jim called last night.
I answered.
He talked, I cried.
Things are worse than before.
He got mad because I wanted to bring Gab over for tricker treating.. he wanted to be with his friends.
I did something dumb last night.
[[I won't ever tell.]]
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2005 30 October :: 12.26pm
:: Mood: sad
So Friday around 3:30 I called Jim to see if he wanted Gabby and I to come over.. he said "Sure, call me back at 5:00 because I'm doing something right now." [I knew what he was doing, so I understood] So I called him back and called him back and didn't get ahold of him until like 6:30 by then Gabby was sleeping and he was like "Oh, I'm sorry Jeff said he was gonna stay down here cause he was waiting for a phone call." Okay, whatever. I understood. So then I asked him since Gabby was sleeping if he wanted to go to the movies with me. He said "yeah sure. Call me back at 6:00." So I called him back, he told me to call him back again [because he wanted to make sure his mom wasn't coming home that night.], so I called him back again at 7:30.. no answer. I called him again at 7:45, no answer.. I kept calling until 8:05.. no answer. So I called one last time at 9:00. No answer.
I'm done. I'm putting in my resignation as his friend, and as his wanna-be-girlfriend.
I haven't and won't call him. If he calls me, I'm not answering.
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2005 28 October :: 10.05pm
:: Mood: depressed
[The Basics]
Full name: Jena Maria Pust
Date of birth: 1-27-88
Gender: Female
Location: PA
Ethnicity: White
Zodiac sign: Aquarius.
Reason for taking survey: Bored, something to get being ditched AGAIN off my mind..
[Going Deeper]
If any, name any phobias you have: None that I know of.
Do you drink: Sometimes.
Do you smoke: No.
If any, what drugs have you done: Just smoked some weed.
Now do the same for your family: USA
Are you a junk food person or a healthy eater: Both.
Living arrangements: I live with my Aunt and Uncle.
Name any pets you have: None anymore..
Siblings: Two sisters Samantha and Anna.. and one brother Dustin, all who I miss very much.
Do you like your school: Do you like getting shot in the head? I don’t think so.
What is your favourite class: Career and Office Applications
What is your least favourite: I like all my classes.
What genre of movie do you prefer: Drama.
Are you into self categorization? No, I dress/act different all the time.
[Favorites]
Time of the year: Spring/Fall.
Friend: I don’t pick favorites.
Family member: I love most of my family, [[with a few exceptions]] I don’t have any favs.
Animal: None.
Sweet food: Depends on my mood.
Colour: Green.
Sitcom: Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy, Nip Tuck.
Cartoon: Scooby Doo.
TV channel: TNT
Pastime: Being with Jim
Drug: uhh.. none anymore.
Magazine: Cosmo
Games console: PS2.
Website: woohu.com
Swear word: Fuck.
Ice-cream flavour: Oreo.
Clothing brand, if any: Anything from Delias.
Store: Delias.
Place to relax: Jims
Place to shop: South Hills Village.
Place to party: Wherever.
[Do you believe in..]
God: Sometimes.
A counter-god, or devil: Yeah.
Reincarnation: No.
The Soul: Not really..
Evolution: Somewhat.
Angels: Somewhat.
Karma: YES
Do you celebrate Christmas: Yes.
How do you celebrate your birthday: Depends..
What is your religion: I’m not religious.
Does your family have any special customs: No.
Have you ever converted from another religion or atheism: No.
Are you a vegetarian: No.
[For the Older Kids, Sex!]
Are you a virgin: No
If applicable, did you like your first time: Yes..
Ever given head: Yes.
Ever done anal: Haha, yes.
Does S&M appeal to you: No.
Do you watch pornography: Yes.
How often do you masturbate: I don’t.
Ever had sex while drunk: Yes.
Do you regret any sexual incidents that occurred on your part: No.
Do you consider yourself sexually attractive: No.
Favourite sexual position: I have many.
Tell us about any of your personal beliefs regarding sex: I just feel you should only have sex with someone you love.. not just anyone who’s there.
[Your Love Life]
Are you in a relationship right now: No..
Describe your current, or most recent relationship: It was great, until I ruined it.
Are you, or have you ever been in love: Yes.
What's your sexual orientation: Straight.
Are you, or do you plan on getting married: Yeah, someday.
Do you believe in soul-mates: Yes.
Do you think long-distance love is possible: No.
Could you see yourself being unfaithful: No.
What do you notice about the opposite sex first: Hair.
Biggest turn-offs: Yucky teeth.
Taller or shorter than you: Taller.
Ever broken someone's heart: Yes.
Has someone ever broken yours: Everyday anymore.
Do/would you have children: I have a child.
[Your Bad Side]
Do you steal, or have you stolen: Yes [I have]
If so, was it from a store or a person you know: Yes.
Have you been intimate with someone else's significant other: No.
Do you take advantage of other peoples' kindness: No.
Have you lied to your parents: Yes.
Do you get jealous easily: YES. I fucking hate it.
Do you have a bad temper: Oh God, yes.
Have you ever made someone cry: Yes.
Ever physically hurt someone: Yes.
Do you consider yourself racist: No.
Must you always seek vengeance: HAhaha, yes.
[This or That]
Alcohol or Marijuana: Alcohol.
Coca-Cola or Pepsi: Coke.
A quiet evening at home or a wild night out: Depends on my mood.
Extreme intelligence or unbelievable beauty: Half and half.
A permanent, stable relationship or an insane sex life: A permanent, stable relationship.
Christmas without gifts, or Christmas without everything else: Without gifts
Rock or Rap: Rock.
The ability to fly or the ability to be invisible: Be invisible.
Hearing or seeing: Not sure.
Depression or anxiety: They’re both terrible.. so.. neither, please.
Immortality without the ability to die, or mortality: Mortality.
Death by freezing, or burning: Freezing.
Death by suffocation or being stabbed: Stabbed.
Lots of acquaintances or a few close friends: Few close friends.
To be a singer or an actor/actress: Actress
Eternal day or eternal night: Night.
X-Ray vision or psychic abilities: Psychic abilities.
Sweet or savory: Sweet.
To never sleep or to never eat: Never eat.
To eat as much as you want or to sleep as much as you want: Sleep as much as I want.
World domination or infinite knowledge of all things: Knowledge of all things.
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera: Neither, thanks.
Bush or Kerry: Bush
To resort to cannibalism or to die: Die.
[The Last]
Person you talked to: Jim.
Person you argued with: Jim.
Person you hugged: Jim.
Person you kissed: Jim.
Person you texted: Chuck.
Person you had sex with: Jim
Phone call: Jim.
Thing you ate: Pepperoni Pizza.
Thing you drank: Orange Juice.
Time you showered: This afternoon.
Time you told someone you loved them: When I got off the phone with Jim about 3 hours ago..
Time someone said they loved you: Yesterday.
Time you laughed: Last night.
Time you vomited: This morning.
Paycheck: Thursday.
Time you had sex: Yesterday.
TV show you watched: Law and Order SVU.
Song you listened to: I don’t remember.
Movie you watched: The Truman Show.
Dream you had: Me running into a tree and dying.
Time you got drunk: Long time ago.
Party you went to: Long time ago.
Item of clothing you bought: Not sure.
Person you would sleep with: Jim.
[Have You Ever Been Called]
Bitch: Yes, all the time.
Bastard: Not that I know of.
Beautiful: Yes, by Jim
Talented: No.
A waste of space: Yes
Liar: All the time..
Geek: No.
Nerd: No.
Loser: Yes.
Peculiar: No.
Intelligent: Yes.
Skinny: Yeah.
Fat: Yeah.
Pretty: Yes.
Preppy: No.
Goth: No.
Emo: No.
Grunger: No.
Fiend: No?
Innovative: No.
Weirdo: No.
Stupid: Yep.
Retarded: Yes.
Annoying: Yes..
Freak: Yes..
Brat: Yes a long time ago.
Cute: Yes.
Interesting: Yep.
Boring: Yes.
Slut: Uh huh.
Whore: Yes.
Skank: Yes.
Asshole: Yeah.
Shitface: Don't think so.
Ugly: Yeah.
Disgusting: Yep.
Shithead: Don't think so.
Cock: No.
Tit: No.
Twat: No.
[Totally Random]
Tell us the first thing you'd do with a million dollars: Build a house for me, Jim and Gabby to live in right next to my Aunt and Uncle.
Why is the sky blue: I forget.. there is some logical reason.
Do you consider yourself to be romantic: Yes.
What's the best thing somebody has ever said about you: That I was the most beautiful thing in the world..
What do you think of P.E.T.A: I don't know what that is.
What do you think of South Park: Used to be funny, now it’s just old.
Do you like candles: Love them.
Do you think emo people are idiots: No.
Do you think goths are idiots: No.
Do you think people who take ridiculously long surveys are idiots: Haha.
Do you believe men and women are truly equal: Yeah.
Do you read books very much: Yes.
Do people consider you to be a bookworm: No.
Describe your mother: No thanks.
What's one thing you would change about your body: I wish I was skinny.
Would you kill one child to save the lives of 1000 children: Never..
What one thing would a person have to do to deserve death: Rape someone.
The most romantic thing somebody's ever done for you: Jim would send me flowers for no reason..
Do you use bittorrent: What's that?
What P2P programs do you use: I just play Jims.
Have you ever skydived: Nope.
List three things you want to do before you die: Be happy [with Jim], Make sure Gabby has a good life, and that’s it.. there is no 3rd thing.
The world ends and you can only save three people and yourself. Who would you save: Gabby. Jim, and I don’t know..
If you could kick anyone's ass, who would it be: TO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE.
If you could sleep with anyone in the world, who would it be: Just Jim.
Are you bored of this survey yet: Very much.
What is the meaning of life: there is none.
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2005 28 October :: 1.56pm
:: Mood: depressed
I'm just more and more depressed everyday over Jim.
I went over his house for a while, when I got there it was around 2:20 [I stayed home from school yesterday and today] he was sleeping in his bed, so I just crawled in next to him.. I fell asleep for about an hour then woke him up and we talked. We got into an arguement, but as I got up to leave he pulled me back down, so I stayed. Then Jeff said someone was at the door for him, and Jim asked who it was.. Jeff hesitated and said it was Christian, so Jim went down, then came back up with Christain and Jess. I guess this little girl Krysta ran away from home and her parents called the cops, and they think they're going to search Jims and Brandons house because they hang out with her. So there was a big drama, Jess left so Jim, Christain and I went downstairs. Jess came back, we all sat in the kitchen for like an hour or so.. Jess left again, Jim and I got into a fight because he told me he hated me being there. I cried half the way home, then I called him and started screaming at him, and he told me to come back. So I turned around at Manns Lounge and went back. Christain was still there when I got back, but I was still crying so I just went up in Jims room to lay down. Then they both came up, Jim asked him to go in the other room, we talked for a few minutes.. blah blah blah. Anyways, I left after that. Came home, went to sleep.
I didn't go to school today either. I'm sick, I went to the doctors I just have a viral infection. I don't have to go to work tonight or tomorrow morning.
Jim and I are supposed to go out tomorrow night.. I can't wait. :)
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2005 27 October :: 10.19am
:: Mood: crappy
Jim called me at 2 in the morning, saying that he was sorry. This time I said that it wasn't okay. He was like well, I just stopped smoking that's why I'm grouchy. I still didn't say it was okay. But we talked for a few minutes then I had to go because Gabby woke up screaming. Shes sick. Okay, well I guess I'm going over Jims later today.. I'll update later. <3
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2005 26 October :: 9.52pm
:: Mood: confused
It started out as a great day.. Jim called me at 5:30 or so in the morning, and we talked for like an hour. Then I got ready for school, school was okay. I went to work right after school. I tried and tried to call Jim to make sure I could still come over his house. Jeff answered each time, and each time he wasn't there. (I got off work early) I even rented a movie at Giant Eagle for us to watch.. I ended up going with Kelly and Krysta to Krystas house until I got ahold of Jim. Alaina and Bill came, we were all hanging out and Jim calls. He tells me that he just started watching a movie over Brandons, to come over "later" so I told him that I couldn't because I had to be home at 10:30-11:00. We kinda argued, it was mostly him yelling at me and me trying to defend myself. I started crying and he hung up on me. I fucking cried in front of everyone for like 5 minutes. He always does this to me. Why do I even try anymore? It's like he does it on purpose to see how long I'll take it. I just don't understand, how can he make me cry so much all the time.. I think he likes to do it, maybe it makes him feel good. Why else would he blow me off all the time.
..why do I care so much.
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2005 25 October :: 9.33am
:: Mood: busy
So today I woke up at 7:13. (I usually leave at 7:10!) SO I got up real fast, put clothes on, makeup, and brushed my teeth. I ran out the door and I noticed that it was STILL SNOWING!! So I was going up the hill and it was freezing. BLAH.
I feel and look like crap, it's hat day today, so I'm wearing Jim's hat.
Yesterday after school [the note being passed around about me, Jim and Jess.. lots of drama with that.] I went to Jims. We had the best time. We just talked, layed in his bed and talked, I looked up in his attic.. it's really scary up there. There is a table up there with a half empty Dr. Pepper can.. but no one ever goes up there. SO I got home around 6:00, then just chilled out went online for a bit, spent some time with Gab.
I have to leave early [2:00] to take Gab to her Dr. Apt in Washington. I think Jim is going to go with me. I'm scared to drive on bad roads!
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2005 23 October :: 8.13pm
:: Mood: cheerful
It was a great weekend.. starting with Friday.
8th period on Friday someone was like "Jena, you have to read this note." So I read it, and it's this note that was found on the ground about how this girl is totally in love with Jim. LMAO. Make me laugh! So everyone read it (before I got it) and everyone was laughing their asses off also. Friday night Becky and I went to a haunted house, it was okay, not as good as we had hoped.. but we did have fun. (love you BECKY!)
Saturday morning was PowderPuff practice, after that Randi, Becky and I stopped at McDonalds to get something to eat. I dropped Becky off at her house, then went to Jims. (We mostly stayed in his bed!) haha. I got there about noon, then left at 3:00 to go to work. After work I just went home and went to sleep.
Today was the PowderPuff game against the Juniors. WE KICKED THEIR ASSES! hahaha. 12-0. Seniors=undefeted. Hell yes. After the game me, Becky, Randi, Sam, Jason, Nick, and Zack went to eat at Kings. Then we decided not to eat there, left and went to Pizza Hut. Then we went to Wal*Mart, messed around then went home. I got home around 7:00.
Yeah, it was a great weekend!
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2005 21 October :: 1.53pm
i love when nobodys home and i can just relax and take a shower and not worry about whats going on outside my house.
im going to the game and dance tonight with the girls.. then afterwards i think we're gonna watch both ring movies cuz brandis never seen them. im preparing myself for the nightmares.... in case you dont know.. i DONT watch scary movies. these are single 2 scary movies i think i've ever seen. and YES they're scary! lol... maybe other people didnt think so, but to me there are dead people and mirrors... *shivers...
tomorrow is my keegan day. he has to work a double at logans today... mmmm, but its ok. i kind of wish he was comming to the game with me since its the last one... but he's got a car payment due next week, so i understand.. he's so cool. i love that. :)
well.. i guess i dont have much of anything to say. see ya'll at the game i spose.
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2005 18 October :: 9.20pm
:: Mood: Thoughtful
:: Music: Here Without You, Three Doors Down
Memoir...
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that i saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And i don't think i can look at this the same
But all these miles that seperate
Disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life was overrated
But i hope that it gets better as we go
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
Everything i know,and anywhere i go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
I heard this today in biology...Lots of memories...I first heard it on holloween. Oh well, what's dead and gone is dead...but I can't help but feel a part of me died with it. I tried today, with Laura, and there was a spark. That same spark of life...but yet it was so infintismal compared to the blazing fire that engulfed every fiber of my being back then. This whole closure thing may be more difficult than I had originally thought. Well, wish me luck.
Later.
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2005 18 October :: 9.15pm
:: Mood: Loving
:: Music: In Your Honor, Foo Fighters
Can you hear me
Hear me screamin'
Breaking in the muted sky
This thunder heart
Like bombs beating
Echoing a thousand miles
Mine is yours and yours is mine
There is no divide
In your honor
I would die tonight
Mine is yours and yours is mine
I will sacrifice
In your honor
I would die tonight
For you to feel alive
Can you feel me
Feel me breathing
One last breath before I close my eyes
This offering
For receiving
Deliver me into the other side
Mine is yours and yours is mine
There is no divide
In your honor
I would die tonight
Mine is yours and yours is mine
I will sacrifice
In your honor
I would die tonight
For you to feel alive
For you to feel alive
For you to feel alive
For you to feel alive
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Aaron
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2005 18 October :: 9.13pm
:: Mood: Apathetic
:: Music: The Best of You, Foo Fighters
Guardian Demon
A demon watches over you. You may find yourself at
times wishing those you dislike dead.
Sometimes, you may find yourself being jealous.
Anger can often get the best of you. You are a
unique individual. Overall though, you are a
kind person with a big heart. Your demon is
always watching over you. Though a demon may
seem like evil is watching you, it is not true.
Your demon is on neither side; good nor evil.
Your demon is on your side. Your demon is
constantly protecting and guiding you down the
right path for you in life.
Who is your soul guardian? brought to you by Quizilla
Irony is my guardian.
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brokenmentality
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2005 18 October :: 9.11pm
Erika, hey it's Keegan.
Just wanted to say hi, and that I care about you. and that I love it when we resolve our arguments. no matter how long it takes or how hard it is.
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xxinterrupted
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2005 17 October :: 5.53pm
:: Mood: content
I am online.. at my house!
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Aaron
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2005 16 October :: 1.07pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: In your honor, Foo Fighters
"Waky, waky, waffles and baky!"
I love my sister.
Later.
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brokenmentality
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2005 16 October :: 2.24pm
:: Music: Ani DiFranco
what a depressing day. as much as i want to get up and wash my face.. i just lay here in a dark room wishing i was everything that right now im lacking so bad.
my car is getting to me, i dont have a ride to work tonight. i dont know when im gonna have something to drive... my mom is bending over backwards to make it easier for me, but for godsake i've had my licene for over a year now, she shouldnt have to stress out so i can drive her car for a day... if only i was just in walking distance.
for about 20 minutes i was gonna stay home, brandi was gonna cover for me, and i was gonna pick up her wednesday... but then i realized that i would rather go to work depressed and upset and beable to see him on wednesday. but thats just me, thats just a sacrifice that i'm willing to make so we can spend time together. whatever.
i just want it to be winter so i can come home and bundle up and drink hot chocolate and chai and not feel guilty about NOT being outside on a beautiful day.
i've been thinking about college alot lately. i dont know what im going to do. im a fucking senior.. and i have no idea what i want to do after high school. something about that terrifies me immensely.
i just want to be out of here. away from everything that i've always known, or maybe everything that i've never truely known.
make conversation
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Aaron
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2005 16 October :: 1.07am
:: Mood: Apathetic (always am afterwards)
:: Music: Bach. a concerito.
The last fifteen minutes.
Your a vampire congrats! YOu live for the darkness because you can't go in the light.you live of blood but you don't kill when feeding(only if your evil you will)Being immortal is a a very lonely road,but somehow you deal.YOur rich and money is not an object since if you wanted to you could rob a bank!(that would be so cool!) Your saying:Bite me and I'll bite back.
What creature of darkness or you?(COOL PICS)CHANGED brought to you by Quizilla
The irony of this result in reference to the last fifteen minutes of my life is so great it almost stings as bad as my freshly-inflicted wound...beautiful. I am now officially gushing blood. It'll clot though. God, I'm sore...and tired. Okay. I'm off to clean (sword, wound, etc.) and then to bed.
Later.
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Aaron
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2005 15 October :: 9.27pm
:: Mood: Peaceful
:: Music: Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton.
Sabbiticle
"...time can bring you down, time can bend your knees. Time can break your heart, if you beg it please, beg it please. Beyond the door, there's peace I'm sure. And I know, there'll be no more tears in Heaven. Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven? Would you be the same, if I saw you in heaven? I must be strong, and carry on, 'cause I know I don't belong here in Heaven." -Eric Clapton, Tears in Heaven
Yes, I am on a sabbiticle. I can say with sincerity my sword has remained sheathed for one week as of four thirty tomorrow morning. It is an exercise in discipline for me. My tendancy is fight, not flight, and all too often I almost get myself killed this way. Don't get me wrong, I want to die by the sword, but as the colored man in gladiator said, "Not yet, not yet..."
Later.
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brokenmentality
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2005 15 October :: 12.42pm
i guess its about time i update about homecoming. prom probably takes the cake cuz of everything we did before and after... but dancing wise... this one was the best!
me and keegan clashed, but at the same time looked really good together. the green and purple ended up looking very nice. i couldnt have been happier with my dress. it looked perfect, it wasnt to long, it fit wonderfully... *smiles. so anyways, me, keegan, stacy, brad and brandi went to timbers for dinner... i got meatloaf... heck yes! but then i made keegan trade me his steak.. giggles.
the dance turned out VERY nice. the decorations were awesome and i loved the theme. the seniors did a kick ass job.
we got our pictures taken right when we got there, hopefully it turns out good. we're not your average couple, and poses just dont work for us... so we did our own thing. thats what we usually do though... we always do our own thing...
but yeah.. the dance was great.. i danced with keegan all night.. almost as if nobody else was around. and the last song they played "you look wonderful tonight" is one of our songs.. so the night just ended perfectly. i got really good pictures, AND when keegan started break dancing... i didnt even get pushed the back of the circle... laughs.. i could actually SEE! its so cool that he does that.. i feel so cool dating him. *laughs again* i've never felt this way before.. or have ever thought that my boyfriend was cooler than me... its just amazing to think... wow, im dating keegan. i have to tell myself that from time to time...... he's so incredible.. and we're incredible together.
after the dance we just went back to keegans house and went to sleep. we were to tired to go bowling... and just feeling him close to me is all i need to make the night perfect... i know im overusing that word... but its the only word that fits.
the other day we went to klackle orchards and got pumpkins, donuts, apples, and gourds. it was so much fun. we got to ride in the "enchanted" pumpkins out to the pumpkin patch. keegans pumpkin is HUGE and mine WAS perfect until SOMEBODY broke the stem off. pshhh. but yeah.. that was a really fun day.
then last night after i got out of work we rented Crash and Call Me... we only watched Call ME cuz there was no way we were stayin up for two movies. it was ok.. but it really should have been classified as porn. lol. it was a BIT graphic to say the least. ahh well... what can ya do right?
so right now shelby has a bunch of little friends over because she turned 5 on monday... *tears.. she grows so fast* so todays her little birthday party. i have to go to work tonight... which i dont want to do... but when i get out we'll probably watch that other movie.
the good thing about having people over is that it forces me to clean my room. usually its a disaster, but my room is seroiusly the coolest room i've seen in person.. .not trying to be conceited or anything... but its pretty kick ass. so when people are over i always gotta show it to em. scott came over with keegan today... so in otherwords i was cleaning all morning. aww it was so cute. keegan came over to do some flips for all shelbys little friends. he's just so damn cool! *giggles
bad news though.... i cant drive my car anymore. we brought it in to get the breaks checked out and they said the front and back brakes are totally shot and it also needs new brake pads and roters and all that other stuff that me, being a girl, doesnt know anything about. but yeah, the cheapest they could fix it for is 650... and my mom doesnt think its worth putting that much money into. so i think we're gonna look into getting a different car.. possible an explorer. but i'll be out of a car for about a month im guessing... not like it matters.. i dont drive very often anyways. .maybe once or twice a week... if that. but yeah... thats my story.
yeah.. so i havent updated in awhile.. as a result this entry jumps all around and sounds kinda odd... but at least ya'll got the jist of my past week. alright... bye loves.
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