iM THE GiRL WHOSE SWEEPiNG<br>YOU OFF YOUR FEET<|3

13 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 10 January :: 10.45am
:: Mood: okay

So last night I went to help my mom waitress at the bar.. I made $135.. [just in tips] so now I can finially buy Gab some things that she needs.

But anyways, today I stayed home.. Anna &Gab are sick.

<3

yadiffy04

:: 2005 9 January :: 4.49pm
:: Music: Simple Man-Lynyrd Skynyrd

Man, I dont want to go school tomorrow, the only thing Im looking forward to is Grace. I miss her sooo much, its not even funny. I really think Im in love....and I like it. Its nice to know that when she wakes up, she knows Im there, all the time.

So, not much has gone on, tryouts for the talent show are on Wednesday. Well make it, I just hope it stops raining. Yadiffy out.

"Life is not Measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

5 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 8 January :: 11.08pm

today was good.

keegan is good.
dinner was good.

scratch that....
keegan is amazing.
dinner was soooo good.

i talked to his mom for like an hour tonight... *hugs her*... aawwww..

keeeeegan. i get all happy when i think about him.

*breaths.
i have to remind myself to do that from time to time.

alsdkfgjal;skdjfsldkf :)

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 9 January :: 1.00am
:: Mood: worried

I don't know.. Gabrielle is sick. She just has a little cold, but I'm really worried. She sleeps practicly all day. She's very congested, and when she coughs you can hear the mucus running down her throat.. I'm so scared she's gonna choke or something. Kelly just left about a half hour ago.. and so far, I can't sleep. I'm just worried I guess..

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 8 January :: 8.30pm
:: Mood: *sigh* x100

Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:25:57 PM): so you spent the night at jims?
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:25:57 PM): :-D
lets xx hug (8:26:02 PM): yessssssss.
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:26:14 PM): awweness*! just you and him? no gab?
lets xx hug (8:26:31 PM): yeah gab is sick, I didn't want her to get worse by taking her out in the rain/cold.
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:27:00 PM): well thats okay, even if she wasnt sick, you guys need time to yourself.
lets xx hug (8:27:07 PM): yeah, I felt bad though
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:27:09 PM): so, did you get things straight, like- you know you love him now? lmao
lets xx hug (8:27:13 PM): haha
lets xx hug (8:27:30 PM): I think it's like when we're apart I think bad things.. but when we're together everythings okay. It sucks
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:28:04 PM): SAME HERE!
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:28:14 PM): :-( it does suck
lets xx hug (8:28:16 PM): ahhh.. i hate it
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:28:46 PM): me too

too true.. <3 you Beck.

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 8 January :: 6.02pm
:: Mood: bouncy

ahhhhhhhhh.. I had THE BEST time staying over Jims house last night.. wow, I can definitly say that I am one of the happiest girls in the world.

Let's see.. Friday when I got there we just watched some tv ect.. then we went up in his room and talked. I started crying because I said I was a bad mom, and we talked about that for like a long time.. and he made me feel 110% better.. we ordered pizza, CHICKEN RANCH! Then watched some movies.. I went to bed at like 12:30, I made Jim come up and give me a full body massage, then I wouldn't let him go back downstairs until I fell asleep.

We woke up around 12:45 when my mom called me to ask me when I was coming home. Sooo.. I told her around 4:30. We got up ate some left over pizza, watched some movies.. then went back up in his room. We played a game I made up called "Licking game" hahaha, sooo fun. Definitly. <3

Now I'm home.. Gab is up my aunt Loraines, Kelly and I are eating some raviolies and going to watch Spider Man 2 on DVD.

If anyone wants any Girl Scout cookies.. my sister is selling them, so just tell me!!

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 7 January :: 4.57pm
:: Mood: mellow

Soooo.. lets recap what happened this week.

I made myself a better person by letting go what happened [or what didn't happen] what Jim and Jessica. I appoligized to her, and told her that I went phyco because I felt threated.. I was 7 months pregnant. So I don't care about that anymore. It's over and done with.

It's really been a boring week other than that.

I'm going to Jims house tonight.. &STAYING OVER. :-P Soooo.. I'll write when I get home. I'm debating whether or not to take Gab.. I want to, but I kinda wanna spend some time alone with Jim. *sigh*

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 6 January :: 8.50pm
:: Mood: *sigh*

I miss the days when I was in love.

I miss crushes.

I just miss acting my age.

I wish I was happy.

:: 2005 6 January :: 1.05pm

i just got to school... my mom wouldnt let me drive in this morning cuz of the roads.. how cool is that. so i got to sleep till like 11:20.

our school is so stupid, honestly. 175 schools closed. ALL the schools around us... rockford, greenvile, tri-county, CTA (which is IN cedar).. but noooo not cedar springs. heaven forbid we have a day off.. however it can be slightly foggy and they'll cancel the day.

grrr... *shakes fist at administration.

the call back list was posted today... and i have to go back after school.. which i would normally be like OK, but i have to meet sue at 3:15 to get my crown fixed. so im like mreh... WHAT to do?! bahh.

i just totally zoned out for a minute there.
the library is really boring when there's noone in it... ahh well.

STOP SNOWING...

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 5 January :: 10.42pm
:: Mood: tired

just me.. I was in the rain, so I look like poo.

Gabrielle.. 3 months and 4 days. <3

:: 2005 5 January :: 6.01pm

we have so much fun.
*remembers... te he ha..

even though i am abusive...

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 5 January :: 8.43am

nothin like being late for school.

eh.. its all good.
last night me, brandi and jamie made a movie for history.. its so funny.
te he he he.

then i came home, neglected my chem, talked to keegan... the night wouldnt be complete without our conversation of random things that make no sense (its true doll... we should record the things we talk about! giggles..), then went to bed.

i hope it doesnt snow that hard today.. i wanna go to grand rapids.

tried out for the musical yesterday. *crosses fingers*
seems like a real fun story line.
martino's trying to one up H, i can tell.
but he's doin the set.. which'll make the show all the better...
i dont know.. i think its gonna be a really funny show.

speaking of H.. i miss that man.

urgh.. my face is so dry. i hate winter.

me and brandi are both going in late today.. *wooo

this is entry is so pointless its killing me.
*dies.
*comes back to life.

WHAT is wrong with me.. gahhhhhhhd.

im getting two new purses today... if the weather permits me too.. woot hoot. that makes my day... purses, mmmm.

*licks lips.
reminds me of a cat. cats are cool. they sure are. yes indeedy.

mwha ha.
indeedy.
mwah ha ha.

who says that.
*points at self

WHY are you still on line.. GET OFF

(line)

madness...
silence is so loud.
ears, ow.. stop.

misha.aaaa.
*seductive groaaan.

what a gross word.. groan.. and isnt it also an onomotopoeia?

6 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 4 January :: 6.12pm

I'm on myspace.com and looking at all the "parent groups" "mommies groups" ect.

I was looking at this one topic "How old are you when you had your first" and I just started crying when I was reading it.. why? I'm not sure; maybe because I could never have imagined how many people my age have gotten pregnant. I guess I'm a lot more scared that I lead on to be. It is scary.. I think about it all the time. Will I be a good mom? What if something happens and I don't know how to deel with it? How am I going to pay for everything? And just all these other things. It's really upseting me anymore. I just don't want to be a bad mom.

I'm glad I've gotten that off my chest, I feel a little better now. It just feels good to realize I've got people out there like me.

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 4 January :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: blah

So today I realized that I think someone in school is HOTT. Oh baby oh baby, yes.. go ahead and ask me who!

Anyways,
Boring day, I yelled at some people, I laughed, I screamed, I whispered, and I had a good day. *smiles*

Well, Jim was supposed to come get me at school, but he ended up not. So we got into a fight.

That is all.

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 3 January :: 8.55pm

im pretty darn well sick of all the drama...
stop fighting with eachother... if you dont fight, then you wont. errmm.. yes.

i dont know.. i guess im confused. one of my good friends is making really stupid mistakes.. result of poor judgement i presume. and i almost dont know how to look at her anymore. it makes me sad to see such a dramatic change in someone i used to know so well.

metron has made major hour cuts, im so mad i cant even think about it. in the next pay period (2 weeks), im schedualed to work twice... thats an 8 hour pay check BEFORE taxes. makes me sick... urgghhh.

our meeting went phenomanally good... so good that i dont even care how bad i slaughtered that word. nothing like i had ever imagined, yet all that i needed.

im trying out for the play tomorrow. mehh.. whatever.

i've been advised to not blow my check since i wont have many more after this one and the next one... again i must say... mehh.. whatever.

im in a state of frustration.. so i must go suffer through homework and finish my chai.

what would i do with out my chai to sooth me in times of adlckajsd;fkjas;dlckjsdl;iferhgn;bf (lack of proper adjective).

yeaaah. im so glad i have so many friends... riiight.
i have to basically pour my soul or start some gossip for anyone to take a minute to reply to my entries.
also sad... shows whats important to people.

next year we can all leave this hellish routine and never see eachother again. *counts the days.....

:: 2005 3 January :: 11.08am

back to routine again...

stay up late, get up early, suffer through another day at school, go to work, come home, start over again.

at least i have things to look forward to now.
bahhh.. im to lazy to update anything worthwhile....

8 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 3 January :: 10.32am

The beautiful is ugly, and the ugly is beautiful.
-SHAKESPEARE; MACBETH

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 2 January :: 8.16pm

I wish I could fly.

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 2 January :: 4.09pm
:: Mood: cranky

Well lets see, how that I've cleared up me not being a "slut" and no one left a comment asking me anything else.. I expect not to be called that again.

Now I was supposed to go Jims house today.. but noo my mom all the sudden coundn't take my sisters with them.. so I had to stay home and watch them.. okay; It's okay if I have plans.. don't worry about me.. I don't mind. WTF? HI, I'M A FUCKIN' PERSON TO. I HAVE FEELINGS, I WOULD LIKE TO GET OUT OF THIS PRISION.

I'M COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS UNTIL MY 18TH BIRTHDAY.. but yet my 17th birthday is in 25 days. *sighs* I fuckin' can not wait until I leave. I just can't wait.

Well anyways, I was up my Aunt Loraines for dinner.. we ate blah blah blah.. then my cousin Doug just kept yelling and yelling at Anna for doing something that he "thought" she was doing.. I got really pissed off and we all left. Then my Aunt Loraine got mad at me and asked me to please not leave.. but I left anyways, Anna's not going to get yelled at all the time for things she's not doing wrong. ANYWAYS..

I gave my Aunt Loraine $40 dollars for almost brand new crib&changing table.. I told her it was my moms money; [she didn't want me to pay for it so I could buy a car seat and a mattress] but I just told her it was my moms money.. but I don't think she believed me. Mmmmm.. I hope she doesn't ask my mom. And really, I just really hate asking my mom to buy me anything.. she brings it up in our fights all the time, and makes me feel bad about everything. Hey if she would let me move out.. I would. But she's just controlling me in everything I do, so I can't do anything anymore. But that's enough about that.. because I'm getting irate.

Ahhh. I WANT MY LIFE BACK.

8 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2005 1 January :: 2.58pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: lagwagon - tomorrow is heartbreak

My new years resolution is too lose a few pounds, eat better and exercise.

Now for my real entry. SLUT?

Well, I got a call last night.. I guess that's what I get for leaving my number online for people to see.. but anyways, they kept saying how I was a slut and everything.. well now lets clear a few things up.

1. Yes, I do have a 3 month old daughter.. [[SHES 3 MONTHS OLD TODAY!!]] her name is Gabrielle.
2. No I haven't had sex with multipul people.
3. Yes, I've had sex with one person, and only one person. And yes that's Jim, and YES Gabrielle is his daughter.
4. No matter what you've heard about me, it probably isn't true. I went through a "slutty stage" where I pretended like I was a slut; but in reality I just wanted attention. [[yes;; the attention whore I am.]]
5. No, I've never cheated on Jim.. and I won't ever cheat on him. Yes I've thought other guys were "cute" or "hott" or however you want to say it.. but I haven't ever actually acted on them.

Well, if anyone has anymore questions just leave a comment, and I'll be sure you answer.

I just wanted to start a new year fresh. :)

:: 2005 1 January :: 11.57am

i got to spend new years with the only person i'd ever want to.
we played 5 games of bowling.. im getting better i am.

last night was just perfect. we seem to experience that alot.. perfection.
and i love that.

now to do my paper for dolbee that i've put off all break..

:: 2004 31 December :: 9.12pm

yay.. i wont be stuck at home for another new years.

*dances.

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 30 December :: 3.52pm
:: Mood: irate
:: Music: pinebender - begin here

I went shopping today with Amy.

Here's a picture of my cool self.

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 30 December :: 9.48am

im all nerves.

how do you prepare for something like this. what do i say. what do i do when i see him. im getting there first.. thats all there is to it.

it hasnt caught up with me yet... it wont sink in for some reason.
i wish it would. i wish i could just cry and let out 16 years of frustration.

but im a soldier. :)
thank you for being here.. through everything.

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 29 December :: 8.42am

i have to go to the library today. WHO does that. who WANTS to go to the library. gahhhh. i dont. stupid dolbee.

tomorrow. its here.

11 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 29 December :: 12.20pm
:: Mood: chipper

I feel.. like DANCING.

:: 2004 29 December :: 12.14pm

i just found mint chocolate chip ice cream.
all is right with the world.

NOW im the happiest person in the history of ever.

:: 2004 29 December :: 12.09pm

im trying to tell of today and its perfection.. but find myself backspacing because nothing i say does us any justice.

we're that perfect.
and that makes me soo happy.
i love that.
i love this smile that wont leave my face.
and i love the smile thats always on yours.

awww. we're so cool.

thursday. gahh. im getting afraid.

:: 2004 28 December :: 8.23am

me and keegan are going shopping today.
correction: we're going to attempt to go shopping today! laughs*

thursday.. its almost here. am i ready for this?
i dont know.. but bring it on [i guess].
talk about nerves.... good lord do i have them.

i need someone to step on my neck. seriously.
owww.

i hate getting up early. when school starts back up again im gonna die. 5:00 seems impossible now. utterly and inhumanly impossible.

inhumanly..... word(?), i dont know. (dun dun dun)

i've soon come to realize that i have absolutely nothing to talk about.