iM THE GiRL WHOSE SWEEPiNG<br>YOU OFF YOUR FEET<|3

7 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 5 November :: 10.05am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: Black Mountain Side-Led Zeppelin

Hey pplz, Well, Im leaving in ten minutes to got to school, and then to my gparents for the weekend, Aub is going to Vegas, and Im gonna miss her, and I dont get to see Sami, or even call her. Oh, well, I say the HS band preform last night, it was very cool, then after wards, Aubrey wouldnt stop giving me hugs, but she had to leave early, cause something happened. So then shawna had like 5 peices of pie, and was hauling through the halls. It was pretty funny. Well, Ill update later!

Stevo

"Live is not measured by the breaths that we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

5 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 5 November :: 12.38am
:: Mood: tired.. but i can't sleep

I AM 59% ASSHOLE/BITCH!
I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck �em.
Take the ASSHOLE/BITCH test at Fuali.com

yay.. everyone take this test, and leave a note with your results! yayyyyyyy.. wow, i'm bored.

Aaron

:: 2004 4 November :: 11.11pm
:: Mood: Argumentative
:: Music: Lateralus, tool.

Theism or evolutionism?
The question of god? What is there to question? It's a matter of intuition and heart. I hate it when people believe they can scientifically prove a belief of origins. It's impossible. It can't be scientifically proven unless it's observable repeatable or measurable. The origin of life is non of those things. sorry evolutionists. your theory of "if science can't prove it, it isn't true" doesn't work. if that were the case, then there would be no origin in which case we do not exist in which case all this world is in our non-existent heads. So.

I embrace my desire to feel the rythmn, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow. To feel inspired to fathom the power to witness the beauty to bathe in the fountain to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human

Spiral out keep going
spiral out keep going
spiral out keep going
spiral out keep going.

Later.

5 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

6 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 4 November :: 7.13pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: ciara feat. petey pablo - goodies

blah blah blah.. i've been thinking. what makes jim stay with me? i mean really..

i'm a bitch to him all the time, so is my mom. the other night i yelled at him for something so stupid.. okay? still he's nice to me and everything. i mean why would he want to be with me.. i have a baby. we'll it's his baby to, but he can leave any time he wants. i told him that.. we've definitly been through our rough times and i've "broken up" with him plenty of times.. but none of it ever lasted. he would always call back or come over and we'd make up. i don't know; maybe he really does love me.

<3

6 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 3 November :: 9.56pm
:: Mood: ummm...
:: Music: Stairway to heaven-Led Zepplin

Well, Im feeling really good about this whole smai thing, cause I like her a LOT! but she thinks Grace is mad at her, cause, appearently, she was giving Sami dirty looks, for a while, but Grace says shes fine with it, so, I dont know which way is up with that subject. Next Sat, we might go on a triple date, Me, Sami, Presely, and Jessey, and Mikey and Kirsten to go see the Grudge. Thatll be cool. Well, Sami wants to take it like super slow, which Im fine with that, her ex is Kevyn, so that explains it.No offence to him or anything, but I guess Kevyn didnt treat her the way she deserves, and that is, beyond what I can give too. I dont really diserve someone as great as her. Shes really down to Earth, and really fun to hang out with, not to mention REALLY pretty. I dont know, but I conside my self the luckiest person within in 10000000000 miles. well, I g2g, dinner.l8r

Stevo

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

P.S. Comments and hugs please!

P.P.S. For some strange reason, Im feeling really lonely. HHHhmmmmm....

:: 2004 3 November :: 9.45pm
:: Mood: creative

so i just got done updating my profile.. want to see? click here.

yesterday was the free prime rib dinner at the bar.. jim and his mom came, they ate with kelly and i.. donna went to get jeff then he came back to the bar and he ate some wings, then she took gabrielle and i home around 11.

tomorrow i'm gonna try to go over jims.. but i don't know, it depends on if my mom stays home the whole day or not. *sigh*

bush won.. woohu.

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 2 November :: 11.19pm

All I have to say is..

GO BUSH! Kick Kerrys ass!!!

:: 2004 2 November :: 8.45pm

it was the longest night i've had at work, and i got out earlier then i ever have.

its because of you.

:: 2004 2 November :: 9.54am

its ok right?

i dont need someone thats gonna lie to me.
or make me think things that were never true.

nooooo.. i dont need that.
but i really wanted it.

Check out my blirtatiousness!

:: 2004 2 November :: 9.09am

8 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 1 November :: 8.57pm
:: Mood: Happy as heck
:: Music: Black Dog- Led Zepplin

Hey all,

Just a really short up[date today, our band has a gig on Fri at the harvest fesivle, and its at Withrow elementry.

I am now Sami's bf, its awesome!! AAAaaaahhhh!!!!!!!

Stevo

9 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 1 November :: 12.00am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Master of Puppets- Metalica

Yo pplz!

Holy crap, tonight was awesome, my band played out in Morgans drive way from 4:30 till 7:30, it was awesome!!!!1!! AAaaahhhh!! So , Raul came, and he had this HUGE mohauk, and it was like ..DAMN, he looks like a rocker!! and then after about an hour of playing, these hot chicks come up to us, so we start playing Dased and Confused( its our best song, and were pro at it.) So after that, they leave, only to come back 5 min later in the middle of Communication Brakedown, and says something to Morgan, and all of a sudden, the drums stop, and Im like "WTF?!?!" and the chick is all, will you autograph my ass? and of corse, Morgan did what any normal human being did, and got a pen, and asked, "which cheek?". I was funny as hell, you had to be there, so then we play somemore, and some high school pplz come, and the old symbol guy for the high school from last year came, and we hung out. It was cool. Then Kate Marteniz came over, and was like, you guys are good, we herd the whole thing, cause we live on the other street, and so then we talked. Oh, ...Raul used 1/2 of a bottle of Elmers glue on his hair. Then we tried to go trick or treating, cause we wanted to go over to Melissa's hous that was like a mile away, so we were walking, and Raul starts flashing pplz on the street, and then it went pitch black, and Raul was all of a sudden walking in the middle of the street, and a car was coming, and he was all, whats that light? and Morgan are like Raul, thats a CAR, MOVE!!!!!!!!!. So that was our awesome night, but Pres and Mikey didnt show, oh whell. Se yas all at school tomorrow! l8r,

Stevo

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

:: 2004 31 October :: 4.17pm

i need to stop eating candy.

i really need to stop eating candy.

i really really need to go out and excersize.

this fighting really needs to end.
how am i supposed to live in all this choas.

fighting and candy.. gahhhh.

:: 2004 31 October :: 12.57pm

alright, well thats over with.

this weekend turned out good, suprisingly.

the community halloween party was good, afterwards me, danielle, jamie, and brandi went to my friend saras in greenville (still in costume) and went to applebees.. *it was alot funner then it sounds. then we spent the night at danielles house....

in the morning before we left, we jumped in danielles pond.. lol. we're like...

"we should go swimming"
"yeah"
"are we gonna do it?"
"yeah"

lol... so we did. and it was cold, and spontanious, and lol, i love that girl!

then i came home, had no power which means i couldnt take a shower after i jumped in mucky pond water... thats always nice... lol.

and anyways, to sum it all up, later on me and danielle went to the glerums hay ride, then to that haunted barn on 15 mile...

and im just now realizing that nobody cares what i did this weekend, so i'll just stop there. but it was so much fun!

i feel really stupid about the whole "thing". i guess my eyes are open now.. and im back to the boring erika i was before i met you. i dont need someone to further complicate my life.

or maybe i do.. gahhh.

i wish i could just scream at you and be like what do you want?!

all i want to know is what your intentions are.

oooooook. al;sdkcasdl;kfj

5 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 31 October :: 7.40am
:: Mood: cranky

just some random facts
i'm tired, cranky, ect.

yesterday we [me and gab] went to the parade in bentlyville.

it was nice.

it was her first parade, she got her first piece of candy. some guy handed it to me.

jim was supposed to come, but couldn't get a ride.
both of his cars are broken.
*shakes head*, *sighs*

people are sluts.

i've been pissed off since friday. *cough* mom *cough*

it was my weekend off with the girls, and i didn't do shit except stay home.

kelly and i made cookies last night.

i was thinking that maybe i change things with my life/ect. so often because i'm insecure.

am i insecure? that's the question of the decade.

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 31 October :: 12.50am
:: Mood: annoyed

I love you.

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 30 October :: 11.46pm
:: Mood: sad/ but yet somewhat happy
:: Music: Babe Im Gonna Leave You-Led Zepplin

Hey all,

holy crap, ....a LOT! has gone on. Well, Ill start off with Friday.

Ok, Friday was good yet bad, ummm..I got to school, and my costume was cool, so then, Morgan and I dicided to be Wayne and Garth from Waynes World for holloween, so thats gonna be fun. So, In 5th per, (LA) we had to make an imaginery item, and try to make a sign to plubisize it, and I used the "suck and cut" from Waynes World, it was soo funny. So, then we had to march during 6th(band), even though we were in our costumes, It was pretty cool. then we went to the band room, and my rock band rehursed in the band room till 2:30, and one teacher gave us props on our music. At 2:30, we went to the dance, and way too much went on, it was a hell of a lot of drama, and drama bytes. So, there was a huge thing between Melissa and Morgan. ( I wont get into that till I get permission from Morg.) and I really like this girl named Samantha, but we call her Sam, so, I was gonna ask her to dance with me, when all of a sudden Krista shows up, and asks me to danc, so, I had to say yes, cause its not right to say no. So it was like the last 30sec of the song, so we find a spot, and I put my hands on her hips, and she just stands there, so I was like,....ok... um, do you know how to dance?, and she was all, um, yah, so we finally danced for like 15 sec, and by then I was glad it was over, then later on, there was another slow dance, and I asked Sami, and she said yes, and we were in the middle of the dance, and she was like," Wow, you are a way better dancer than Kevyn." and I said," I wouldnt know, Ive never danced with him", it was funny. so thenI came home only to find my friend here, so we hung out.

Then today, we had a parade, and the ride there was awesome, Jordan, was all "bow to the albino" and hes black, it was pretty funny. We got a 78.4, and out of middle schools, we got third, of our divison, second, and drill team got second, AJ got second, and colorgaurd got third. So, I was talking to Presly, and she wanted to know if I liked Sami, and I was like, yes, cause Ive liked her for a while, but I never thought that I would have even close to a chance with her, but i guess things change from 3 years of Middle School. so I asked Presly to talk to her on the way home, and she did. So then i found out that Sami likes me more than a friend, but not as much as a boyfriend, so I was pretty crushed, but I had to deal with it, cause you have to move on, I mean, I really like her, and I want to go out with her, but ...i dont know....so, I just got off the phone with Pres, and I told her about our gig tomorrow. Speaking of that, Tomorrow night for you pplz that know where Morgs house is, were playing in his drive way, but it might be in the back yard. So stop by if you want to hear a live classic rock band. Well. thats all.
l8r,

stevo

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

:: 2004 29 October :: 5.12pm

ATTENTION!
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (5:12:23 PM): i thought a month would be from Oct 1st to Nov 1st.

yes becky.. you are right. i don't know wtf i was thinking. thank you for setting me straight!

gabrielle isn't a month old yet.

haha.. i'm stupid.

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 29 October :: 10.45am

for halloween im wilma from the flinstones... i tied a dog bone in my hair.. its so fun.

*giggles.

so tonight i think im going to the catacombs in Cas, and then to see that movie the grudge, which im terribly afraid of seeing.. because im not good with that kind of thing.. but its all good. me and Alys and i think brandi and danielle and whoever else is going... it'll be fun. woooo.

so some people are wonderful people.

thank you anonymous, you're a good guy. *hugs you.

last night at the halloween party at youth group (i was wilma) and everyone was asking me where my Fred was. i was like, hmmm... good question.

Happy Halloween loves.

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 28 October :: 11.49pm
:: Mood: shocked

i can't believe gabrielle is 1 month old today.

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 28 October :: 12.39am
:: Mood: stressed

RULES: Write a statement intended for 14 different people. NEVER TELL which one is for who.
1. I HATE YOU.
2. I love you.
3. I wish you would just let me do what I want.
4. Stay out of my life!
5. I hope your gram gets better.
6. Just because I don't call you, doesn't mean you can't call me.
7. Thanks for all your support.
8. Things have changed.
9. I hate you for what you did to me.
10. I can't believe I ever liked you.. you're scum!
11. I love you so much more that I ever thought I would.
12. You're such a bitch sometimes.. I hate how you treat your kids.
13. Stay home more often, they need a mother.. not a sister pretending to be their mother.
14. I don't like you. And I really can't believe you thought he liked you.. lol.

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 27 October :: 1.39pm

i hate everything.

i hate living here.
i hate school.
i hate how im letting myself get hurt again.
i hate how depressed i always am.
i hate working.
i hate my grades.
i hate my body.
i hate the shape of my face.
i hate feeling alone.
i hate that you make me feel worse then you do better.
i hate that there arnt enough hours in the day.
i hate that i never do homework.
i hate that i'm lazy.
i hate that im broke all the time.
i hate how i lose everything... ALL the time.
i hate how i have nobody to comfort me.
i hate how all i want is for someone to hold me.
i hate thinking those thoughts.
i hate considering those options.
i hate that im still sick.

ugahs;ldfkjas;dfkasdf

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 25 October :: 10.10pm
:: Mood: happy

mrs. baker came today for homeschooling.

blah.

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 25 October :: 8.20pm

jess and katie are comming over tonight so that we can do our history project.

history can die.

:: 2004 25 October :: 10.47am

i got my check.
bought more minutes.

all i want to do is go tanning. right now. for like 50 minutes. except then i would die.

and if she compares me to her one more time, im going just make sure i fail ALL my classes and then be like YEAH what now.

*jf;alksdjf;alsdkfjafd;lkjasd;f.

wow. thats all i can say... suprising. yes. wow.

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 24 October :: 11.10pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: wheat - i met a girl

friday jim and his mom took gabrielle for a couple hours.. i had to stay home and watch my sisters- and then i got in trouble because my mom told me that she wasn't allowed to go with them.. so we got into a big fight over that.

saturday morning at 2:42 am, gabrielles umbilical cord fell off.. she's growing up so quick!!

then around noon, donna [jims mom] came to pick me up and we went to see her boss, jims sister shelly, went to the mall and out to eat- then i came back here around 7:00 and went to work. my aunt loraine watched the baby. around 11:00 that night jim and his mom came to pick me up at the bar and took me home to get gabrielle then we went back to his house and stayed the night

today [sunday] jim and i woke up around 2:00, we ate jims sister shelly came over, then after she left his gram and cousin rachel came over for a little bit.. then we ate, sat around for an hour or so; then went out to see jims other sister kim and his dad. i got home around 9:30 i think.

it was a great weekend. (:

<3

p.s. kathy- if you're reading this.. i left the address to that handwritting anaylsis after the last note you left me in that entry. just in case you didn't know!

7 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 24 October :: 12.18am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Have a Drink On Me- AC/DC

Hey all,

Well, not a whole lot has gone on, ummm.....me and Grace havent talked all week...Big Whoop! (for all you dumb ppls, that was scarcastic) Geez..um, I was up at 6:30 this morning, and I went to Mr Bates ranch, and went on a 5 mile trail clean up, we had to go and trim every bush in sight, it took us six and a halve hours. So, now Morgan is over at my house, and were hangin around, playing video games, and going on the comp. Its cool, oh, We think Morg has a secret admirer. So, Ill see ya all l8r.

Stevo

"Life is not measured by the breaths that we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

P.S. Comments Please!

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

:: 2004 23 October :: 9.23pm

i feel sick to my stomach and i cant breath.