Haha, I loove my sister's myspace.
She always has good music and funny things..
"Bitch, you have to be PRETTY for me to hate on you."
"You look at me up and down and don't have nothin to say..
..Funny how the words come when I walk away."
"To all the hoes with my name in your mouth
--Do what you do best and SWALLOW IT."
"Judge me and I'll prove you wrong.
Tell me what to do & I'll tell you off.
Say I'm not worth it and watch where I end up.
Call me a bitch and I'll show you one.
Fuck me over and I'll do it to you twice as bad.
Call me crazy.. but you really have no idea."
Haha.. that last one I posted to her as a comment like last week or somethin.
Anywyas.. it's quite possible today could be the day.
I've been having contractions 7 minutes apart all last night and this morning..
Buuuut--I think I'm out for now.
I'll update later.
::
2007 25 April :: 11.09 am
:: Mood: feelin' like a sleepy head--AND HUNGRY!
:: Music: Say Anything
updizzle my nizzle
I am chillin here with Nore, we actually just woke up because Justin called again to ask silly questions about things to buy for the baby.
He isn't going to have any room to bring this stuff home if he keeps on buying more shit.
I hate that it's raining outside. I have a whole bunch of burn trash and it needs to get out of my hallway!
Other than that, I have like 5 more thank you cards to write and I'm done.
Yesterday, I had a doctor's appointment that I went to with my mom and it hurt like hell--i hate those things.
We scheduled one for Monday because that's when I'm due.
He said if I make it to that one we'll schedule for the next week--which is May 7th and if I make it to THAT one then that's the appointment we'll start talking about when I should be induced and stuff.
I'm still only 1cm dialated so... I hope I start to dialate more.
I haven't been too much in a rush though because I want Jusitn to come home first, haha.
Yesterday after my doctor's aopointment, me and my mom ran down to the Cricket store because the day before, Nore chewed my $300 cell phone. =D
Yeah, I pretty much almost died when I looked out in the yard and saw what he was chewing on... like a chew toy.
My mom told me to file a claim that it's been lost because a dog chewing it up might not be covered by my insurance. Well I did that so now they want me to go through all this bullshit about getting the claim notorized and everything. Ugh, it was a pain in the ass.
So they give me the form nad I had to come all the way back home and fill it out in front of AAA and have it notorized and faxed which is $5.
UGHHHH.
Now I have to wait 24 hours for a response and then go to the Cricket store and get a new phone for $85.
My mom said it would be cheapest probably just to get a plan under Justin with Cingular--because my bill would be $10 and then me and him could split the price. but that's still $60 haha.
Anywwyas, after that we went to Wal-Mart and picked up some stuff and a dresser for the baby.
So now today I am going to put all his little clothes in the dresser since everything else is in place.
I was planning on surprising Justin for when he gets home but me, his mom and mine all think he will be expecting it to be done--haha!
I also need to paint the second coat on my bookcase so I can put it in my room and get some of my books on it so I can get them out of the way from out of the hall.
Other than that--yep.. nothing.
Two more days til Justin comes home.
I had a dream he called me and said he was breaking up with me for being the most annoying girl ever. Hahahaha.
::
2007 22 April :: 11.06 pm
:: Mood: tiiired!
:: Music: Last night, I couldn't even get an answer...
mm i laa you babe
Well.. I chilled around my house lazy all day.
Then, me and Nore went down my gram's
--(fuck you chicago bitches--i just said DOWN MY GRAM'S.. AND GRANDPAP'S, HOW'S THAT!? hahaha muaah i miss YINS so much!!!)--
for my grandpap's birthday.
he was good down there.. a little crazy but he was good.
at one point though, he had the cat bed and i grabbed it off of him and held it against me as i leaned over to yell at him and he jumped at me and went to grab it, biting me in the stomach.
sooo.. my skin is stretched and really thin on my stomach and he bit me--not hard--and it left a purple mark and an indent. kinda like a stretch mark except it hurts when i touch it.
it sucked.
apirl was supposed to call me around 7:00 to drop off a stand for my bathroom but she never called sooo okay. i wasn't ready to leave at 7 so i wasn't going to call her so i'll have to get it another day.
me and nore got back around 9:30 and he went to sleep on the living room floor and i watched desperate housewives.
me and justin talked for a little bit because i cant go to sleep without saying good night to him.
i ahven't cried in a while but for some reason i did tonight.
after we got off the phone he sent me a text message and told me not to cry and that we'd be together again soon.
only 5 more days, but it just goes so slow.
i told him i was sorry for crying and that i knew and it's just hard to be away from him-- i feel so like.. apart from him.
he said he misses me so much i dont even know. ( =( ) and that it's hard for him to be away.
i told him about how my mom told me it's probably even harder for him because he's actually away from home and everything and he said he does miss his friends and everything but his family comes first. =(
that made me miss him more.
i like to have a family with him because i feel like he would do anything for me, it's just scary cause i can never trust anyone--
--the one person i actually got to the point that i could trust i had to let him go because you get your heart broke so many times and then the pieces actually start to get lost and that happened.. you know?
it feels weird to not have to work in the morning.
What will I do all day tomorrow?!?!?!
Pshtttt yeah right--I have A LOT to do this week.
I just put off gettin shit done cause I hate to leave me dog home alone..
Anywyas..
I am going to heat up this rice bag and head off to bed with my puppers.
Nore is taking a nap so I am taking the opportunity to update because I am bored.
I just got off the phone with Justin not too long ago.
He just moved hotels and he hates the one he's at now. Haha.
Tracy and Chriss came over today because they drove past and saw me sitting outsdie and wanted to make sure I was okay. (haha)
I can't believe that I am due to have a baby in a week.
I don't even feel pregnant! I thought being pregnant was going to be a lot harder than this but really I haven't actually even felt pregnant until like maybe a week ago because of how hard it's been for me to get up from laying down. Haha.
I told Andy (my boss) I wouldn't even know I was pregnant if I didn't have this huge stomach. =)
I dunno, I can't wait to get it out though. I knwo I'm still going to be fat for a while but I can't wait to get rid of SOME of it.
Anyways..
I think I'm going to sit outside with Nore for a little bit. It's super nice out today.
It's my pap's birthdya so I might be heading down there for a little.
Yesterday was my last official day of work.
Kinda sad, really.
I learned how to actually do billing input and everything and I told JoJo I would come in a day next week to see how much I remember and refresh and learn some more before I take home the laptop and network myself.
After work, I picked up Noreaga and then Shawn and dropped him off at Tim's house and went back to my mom's.
I chilled there for a while and then I took Nore back to my house.
My mom called me a little bit later and asked if I wanted to go to WalMart, and I definitely needed to get shopping done, so she picked me up.
It's so cute.. NORE gets a treat everytime he has to go in his crate when I leave..
kinda like how he knows the difference from his crate being punishment and having to go in there because I'm leaving..
Well, when we got home he went outside to pee and when I came in I went to give him a treat (a cracker). When he saw me go for the cracker box he shot off to his crate, excited.
I was like, "awww bless your little heart, you don't have to go in there!!"
After Wal Mart, I just came home and put away my groceries and eventually went to bed.
I hate going to bed lately.
April said you know it's getting close when you have a hard time sleeping..
..and boy do I ever have a hard time sleeping!
Every time I move I can feel my hips pop and crack and I can't even roll over or anything.
THEN, I hate to wake up because sitting up and getting out of bed is the hardest thing ever.
Today I didn't do much.
I was suppsoed to go to a party with my mom but I didn't feel good so I ended up falling asleep and taking a nap.
I woke up a little later and started to clean.
I painted the first coat of a bookcase I've been meaning to paint for a while and then I went in the bedroom and cleaned up a little and rearranged a few things to make room for the pack n play and the bookcase I'm moving in there.
So pretty much I've been doing laundry all day and yelling at Nore.
I still miss Justin. It gets easier but I still miss him.
I can't wait til he comes home.
He asked me if I would want to go with him after the baby.
I don't knwo yet.. I have to think about it.
He said he talked to them and they said they would give us our own room and a crib for the baby.
I said I didn't know because what about my job and what about Nore?
I told Justin that Nore is all I have had for three weeks and he is my baby.
He talked to them about it and they said they wouldn't have a problem with bringing Nore and Justin said we could just do it for a little bit and since I will be working from home anywyas...
I dunno.. but I do know that I have to go because Nore is pissing me off.
It's time to get the breath right
So I grab the Crest and toothbrush, circular motions to the left, right
Just enough to see the teeth sparkle a bit
I fill my grill with Listerine and then it’s gargle, gargle, spit
And now that’s good hygiene, you know what I mean?
And my mouths the definition of so fresh and so clean
I feel it’s only right, since my words all I got
And nobody wants to listen when your breath is hot
But that’s a story in itself so I head to my bedroom
Throw on some drawers and pick out a costume
I think ill rock these blue jeans and this tee shirt
And whats a little be delicious gonna hurt??
I’m feelin’ kinda lovely but my
Tummy is growlin’ so I’m feeling kinda hungry
So I hit the kitchen and I’m wishin’ there’s some food in sight
What do ya know? I got that Cinnamon Life
And now I’m real happy, fill my salad bowl up with cereal
To my surprise it’s Jackson Five up on the stereo
I turn it up my words can’t describe my reaction to
wakin’ up and listening to prepubescent Michael Jackson
Open up the Frigidair what do we have here?
Seems like just enough milk to fill my morning craving
Peep out the window just to see if Nore is misbehavin'
He’s staring at me with a grin like ‘Yo, let me in!’
So I begin to fill his dish with Kibbles N’ Bits
Let him in so he can eat, and I’m eating my shit
So now we both full and well fed,
Happier than that fat rat Templeton from Charlotte’s Web
Now its time to get our walk on
NORE can get his bark on
It’s a beautiful day maybe we’ll get our cedar creek park on
I know the lake is at its finest
I’ll grab my backpack, this leash, and maybe make a sandwich
I better grab my ghetto blaster and a few tapes,
A thermos full of water and a bag of fresh grapes
Some more tapes cause you know that music comes first
And what’s a little Jackson Five gonna hurt?
I just ate a french bread pizza and I am about to cook dinner in a little bit.
I guess we're going to have pork chops again. (we, as in me and nore)
he's barking at me right now like an asshole.
i don't know what he wants so i ignore him. he does this everytime i'm on here.
Work was alright today.
Usually, I hate going out to the Monessen office because I feel lazy over there but I didn't mind it today really.. and then Dan let me leave at about 3:30 so that was cool.
Tomorrow is supposed to be my last day and all I'm going to do is head out to Rostraver around noon to learn some extra billing stuff with our office manager to take the laptop home.
I told her I doubted I was going to be ready in one day so I told her I would come in next week to work with her if she felt like I needed to.
Other than that, I'm just chillin.
Being bored but relaxed. =D
I like to be by myself but I was going through my phone and I miss Becca. =( We used to hang out every day when we went to school and now I NEVER see her except only in pictures.
It's nice out today.
It's getting a little chilly, but it's nice.
I'm gonna go call Justin.
::
2007 19 April :: 12.18 am
:: Mood: sleepy. sad.. but sleepy.
wednesday night
Work was alright today.
Tiring.. but alright.
I came home and played with Nore.
I've just been chillin here.
I talked to Justin but he sounded real tired and he said he was gonna go find something to eat and never called back. =( I'm figuring he fell asleep, though. He ALWAYS calls. I can't wait until the 27th for him to come home.
I hope I get a lot done around the house before he gets here so he is surprised.
At about 10:00, Lesley called and asked me if it was alright if Javonn walked to my house. Haha? I said he could if he wanted to, but that it was kinda late. Well--he procrastinates and 11:00 rolls around and I texted them and told them I was going to bed within the hour.
Right now I am watching Tyra.
This episode is on sex addicted women.
This sixteen year old girl may have been pregnant and she was telling Tyra how part of her wants someone to love and take care of and another part of her knows she's too young and needs to finish high school.
The girl's mom said if she were pregnant she has two choices: to either give it up for adoption or have an abortion.
The girl got mad and said it wasn't her baby's fault and he/she deserved to have a life.
I think that's sad.
Abortions obviously ruin lives of unborn childs (literally), but they also ruin the lives of the people who have them. Sometimes women can't even carry a child after an abortion and sometimes.. in cases like this one where young women are forced to have abortions by their parents.. it ruins them emotionally. It may not be right away and tehy may not even realize it.. but years later it can show and it can have serious mental effects.
I'm just glad to be having this baby now. I'm glad I graduated and I'm glad I have a good job. I'm glad I love my boyfriend and I'm glad he has been my friend for a long time. It makes it so much easier when we are as close as we are and that he's there for me as much as he is. We went through rocky parts and cheated on each other and fought a lot but we got over it and I don't think I could have a better boyfriend than the one I have now.
Tomorrow, I have to go to work at the Monessen office around 1:30 because our PTA can't make it.
I was supposed to have Friday off, but Andy asked me if I could come in to the Rostraver office sometime around 12 or something to do billing with our office manager.
Friday is my last day so he wants her to show me how to do actual billing input rather than posting.
That way I will have a lot to do when they send the computer home with me.
I should hook my fax machine up so that way I can just receive and send them stuff without having to leave my house. (haha, lazy)
This Tyra is actually pretty interesting.
I know a bunch of girls who, when I was in high school, had sex with a bunch of guys and I always wondered why they would do that to themselves and this is kinda answering that.
I guess when you look at these sluts and whores who think they're so hot you're really looking at someone who has been hurt in the past, probably by a guy, or anyone that really hurt their self esteem. Easy girls don't think they're so hot at all and that's why they have to take the slutty pictures on myspace and stuff to get comments from guys to feel pretty.
That's kinda sad, actually.
Anywyas, I think I am going to fix Caitlin's myspace and go to bed.
My puppy is real tired and he wakes up too early for me if he goes to bed first.
I was up forever last night. I couldn't fall asleep for anything.
When I finally did go to sleep I was having weird bisexual dreams about having to sleep at B.O.A.R. Physical Therapy in the Rostraver office with like two of the Pittsburgh Riverrats and this girl that likes girls.
I woke up this morning a few times to Nore trying to get me up
but it was official when my mom called and he heard the phone ring because he was not going to let me pretend to sleep. He knew I was up after he heard that damn phone.
So I am out of milk--that means no cereal for breakfast unless I run to BP--WHICH i am too lazy to do. So.. I have resorted to potato chips and my Easter basket.
I have to work at 2:00 today. Probably til about 7:00 or something.
Justin texted me this morning and said he was goign to work and to text him when I wake up.. but I'm about to get a shower so I will do that in a little bit.
Don't you always feel like more of a dirtball when you wake up after sleeping REALLY good? I do. That's why I love to take showers in the morning. =D
Ugh. Nore was begging to go out so I let him.
Well, he usually comes in and out to check in,
but he wasn't... so I called him. He didn't come.
I didn't hear him jingle. (That's how we know he's
where he should be and not at the neighbor's.)
Well, I sat here and called him a few more times.
He didn't come. I started to get nervous so I got up
and I went to the porch and started to yell for him.
He didn't come. I couldn't hear him jingle.
I started to get really nervous--he ALWAYS comes
and I live right between 51 North and 51 South.
If he saw a bunny or something he would chase
after it--especially if I wasn't there to call him back.
I started to yell for him and yell for him, "Nor-baby,
want a treat?!, Come inside! Come Nore!!!" But
he wasn't coming. Then I heard a car screech to
a stop. My heart dropped. I ran and got my shoes
and a coat and ran out of the house. I was about to
run down the steps when his chocolate ass comes
running up them, happy as ever. I don't know if
it was him that made that car's tires screech or
not, but I do know that he is definitely getting tied
up in the yard when he goes out from now on.
I am glad I don't have to work until 2:00 tomorrow.
We are super slow and they don't really need me,
but I said I would come in around two and Todd
said that was fine. Then Thursday I can go in
around the same time unless, for some reason,
a bunch of people call and say they want to schedule
for Thursday.--I doubt that will happen though.
On Friday it doesn't even look like they need me.
..and that's my last day. It will be nice to take a
break, you know? Then I get to meet Jaycen &
start to have fun. Haha. I am so excitedddddd!!!!
Obviously we are going to take lots of pictures.
Justin's next tattoo he made an appointment for,
he said it's probably going to be his last one for a
while. He is getting Jaycen around his wrist to tie
off his grafitti sleeve. I am going to get one too..
I'm just not sure where yet. I would like it on my
wrist but then again, it's a little cliche and I hate
tattoos that everyone else has. Plus, I would want
it somewhere where no one can see unless I were
to show them. That way I don't have trouble
getting a job or anything. You know? I mean, if
I didn't care I would have a black, white, n gray
japanese sleeve.. but.. I do.. so.. yeah. Anywyas,
We'll see what happens.. it will be a surprise.
If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I got to say is I must have done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I got to say is I must have done something right
Justin might be coming home for this weekend
and then going back out to work for the week
and just coming home for the 27th and staying
for a while so he can stay with the baby. Then
hopefully he finds another job that he can work
locally and doesn't have to travel!! I hate that!
He told me he picked me seashells on the beach
the other day and he sent me a bunch of pretty
pictures from out there and the view they have
on their balcony and stuff. In a way, I hope he
comes home this weekend because I miss him,
but then again I hope he doesn't because that
will save him money AND I can get more stuff
done around the house to be more of a surprise
for when he DOES come home. =)
Anywyas, I think I am going to bed now. Even
though I don't have to wake up early tomorrow
for a chance and I get to sleep in and go to work
late. Nor-baby is still really tired and he is trying
to get comfy on the couch when I know he would
rather lay in the bed for the night! =D Good night!
My doctor's appointment went well.
Except for the fact that sitting in the waiting room for 45 minutes is a bitch.
Oh and the fact that she was very rough and pretty much killed me.
However, she was amazed at my tummy and told the nurse that I would make the perfect model for a baby study and the felt all around for different baby parts and she showed me where the head was and everything and how he was sitting in there and just everything.
I wish Jusitn could've been there this time.
She also told me that they're going to hate me at the hospital because she guarantees that I go home in my old jeans. hahaha. yeah right.. but i loooooved that one.
i can't wait to have this baby and then start exercising.
(yeah right, i'll probably be sleeping 24/7)
You say there's no place you'd rather be when you're lying next to me.
I say there's no one I'd rather see when you're lying next to me.
You say you are totally complete when you're lying next to me.
I say even your tears would taste sweet when you're lying next to me.
You say a better place can not be found when you're lying next to me.
I say let's make my bed a playground when you're lying next to me.
After that I went and picked up my mom and we went out to Greensburg to give them my letter to Sarah. He was surprised it was typed, I was like, "hmmm...??" Hahaha Dur. It would be trashy if it weren't!!!
Then, I picked up Nore, dropped my mom off at home, went to the bank and then met Cam at my house.
Now, I'm just sitting here chillin, watchin videos on YouTube.
Being extremely bored and lazy when I should be cleaning my house.
The bright side is that I dropped a whole plate of dinner all over my couch! =D
Gotta get ready to go to my doctor's appointment. It's at 1:00.
Grr.
Nore is outsite playing. =)
I wish we had a fence to keep him in so we wouldn't have to worry about the neighbors bitching about him shitting in their yard.
We should throw it in their pool next time, hahsa!!
I'm just kidding, just kidding!
After my doctor's appointment I am going out to Greensburg to take a letter to Sarah to the juvenile place thing. I gotta do that by 3:00.
THEN I gotta go meet Cam to take him this money Justin owes him by 5:00.
BUT, First I gotta come back to the house to get Nore though, he needs to get out and go for a ride.
SO! It will be a busy day. =D
Cause after I meet Cam I have to call April and see if she has money that I need to get off of her.
Aaaaaaaanywyas, i gotta get in the shower becuase i usually last like an hour in there with Nebby Nore.
::
2007 17 April :: 2.49 am
:: Mood: can't sleep...
:: Music: Gym Class Heroes.
We break ourselves down
and build ourselves up in disappointment.
How fragile we are!
So fragile we are, we just don't show it.
We shake up this town
and shoot down the stars for our enjoyment.
So sexy we are, we just don't know it!
::
2007 16 April :: 10.59 pm
:: Music: can i atleast get a raise on minimum wage??
oh nore, nore, what is the matter?!?!?!?!
eh. i haven't updated in a couple days. i haven't been on the computer much, really.
which is surprising because how bored i've been lately.
i am sad without justin.
atleast i have nore, i don't think i could manage without him.
well.. 11 more days.
speaking of nore, he's being an asshole right now.
i am seriously going to beat his ass.
he keeps barking in my face for no reason what so ever.
if i ignore him, it makes it worse.
and then i yell at him and he gets real low and then climbs up on my lap and licks my face which is annoying too.
i don't know what the fuck he wants but he is pissing me off.
i still love him though.
it's not his fault he's getting on my nerves,
he was locked in the crate all day while i was at work for SEVEN hours!
that makes me mad because my mom was supposed to come over to let him out but she never did, and if i would have known that she wasn't going to show up at all, i would've left the key for serg or something because he would've stopped by after work.
we took these pictures the other day to e-mail to justin:
it makes me miss justin more when i think about the day he left.
he went to the mall with shaun to buy pants for work that he would need to take down there with him.
when he came back, he said he had a present for me.
he had my favorite perfume and same scented lotion which is like $70 for a little 4oz thing and another $40 for 4oz of the lotion.
then he sprayed all his stuff with it before he packed everything up so he could smell me when he got down there. =(
anywyas..
i ahven't been doing much.
i go to work, i come home and play with nore.
the baby's room is all set up.
maybe tomorrow i can go to Babies R Us to get the diaper bag i want?
also, i rrreally need to start packing for the hospital.
i had a doctor's appointment last week and i'm over 1 centimeter dialated.
i have another appointment tomorrow but i'm not really looking forward to it.
last week internal exams started and i hate them.
this baby is so big i don't know how he is going to fit out.
that's weird.
and scary.
but.. a lot of bigger sissies had babies so i think i will survive.
=)
like i tell people when they ask me if i'm scared, "it's like someone whose scared of roller coasters getting to the top of the hill and wanting to get off..."
there's kinda.. no turning back now. haha.
it will be worth it in the end--i can't wait to see my baby!!
=D
..I don't know if I can be without him for two more weeks.
I cry every single day. I don't want to leave my house, I don't want anyone to come over--I just want him to come home.
=(
I am bored and sad and lonely.
I hate it.
I just got off the phone with him right before this sentence.
Now I'm on the phone with Christina but I'm taking long breaks between tthese last three sentences.
Okay, now I"m OFF the phone with Christina.
It's probably a good thing she called or I'd still be crying.
I hate that he's gone.
It's weird when I have spent every single day with him for as long as I can remember and even before we were living together I would atleast see him every day.
..and now I haven't seen him in.. today is the 5th whole day.
My mom keeps on trying to tell me that it is going by fast and he keeps on saying that he'll be home before we know it.. but I feel like an ass because I can't stop crying and I want him here.
Today I woke up and got ready for work.
I didn't really want to go, though because I was like--dead tired.
I have been so worn out lately that I feel like I'm starting to get sick.
I called work and Andy answered and I asked him if Todd needed me.
Andy asked Todd and they said to come in if I felt liek it so I just stayed home.
Did I mention that Andy wants to send a laptop home for me so that a week after I have the baby I can work from home until I'm ready to come back?
That would be soo awesome. I would LVOE that.
That way I don't have to take forever off of work but I don't have to worry about going in too soon or even leaving the house and baby.
Soo.. I layed down on the couch and took a nap with NORE.
We slept until liek 2:00 when my mom called and said she was coming over.
I made myself two ham sandwiches and started eating lunch as she walked in.
We went through some more baby clothes and stuff and we separated them in sizes and then I just started washing blankets and sheets and everything.
Ugh. The last load is in right now actually.
I'm watching Scarred though.
This show is fucked up.
It almost makes me want to throw up and if I didn't have like a really strong tolerance to this kind of stuff I probably would.
Justin can't watch this show...
I am glad I had Christina to talk to.
She asked if I wanted her and Kris to come over, but I just want to be by myself.
MJPerry24: you are going to have so many baby friends over in years to come
MJPerry24: who come over just to see you
My body is so dead tired but there is not a chance in hell that I can fall asleep.
I hate going to sleep anymore.
I miss Justin a lot. It like--gets harder every day.
I just can't wait til he comes home.
I didn't even think I would miss him this much.
I went through some more baby clothes today with my mom.
She came over and did my dishes and stuff.
I just wanted to update because I was bored.
But... it's about quarter after 1 now and I have to work in the morning.
Plus, my eyes are burning and I think me and Nor' are gonna hit the road.
I am going to go into work about 12 tomorrow, but only til about 2 or so.
Then--I'll probably come back here, eat, take a nap, and do some more arranging of Jaycen's room.
I can't wait til Justin comes home and sees it, he's going to be so surprised. Well, he might not be because he probably expects me to do it, but still--it's all set up all cute and stuff. We just have to buy a dresser and a book case and it will be good to go and all ready.
I am so excited to have the baby but I don't want it to come any sooner than the due date because I'm so afraid Justin won't be here.
Okay well I got side-tracked and its now 1:45 so... yeah I'm done.
Something in your eyes makes me want to lose myself in your arms.
There's something in your voice that makes my heart beat fast. I hope this feeling lasts the rest of my life.
If you knew how much this moment means to me
and how long I've waited for your touch, If you knew how happy you are making me--
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much
So yeah.
The first night without Justin I definitely bawled my eyes out like a little baby.
Me and Nore went to bed and I started to cry really bad.
Nore looked at me with his head tilted to the side and then when i reached out to pet him, he started to lick my hand.
He knew I was sad.
I had to work yesterday though,
so I got up and got ready for work.
Then, I took Nore down to my mom's.
It was sad leaving him there because she had to trick him with a treat, but when he saw I wasn't there, she said he sat at the top of the steps and cried.
I went grocery shopping last night though.
It sucks cause I kinda splurged and bought a ton of stuff with money I don't even have yet. I withdrew my account so I had to borrow $20 off my dad. Haha. Ooops.
Last night was better.
I only cried when we said good night.
He said, "see ya soon."
He had the chance to come back until the baby comes but he decided against it because one day of work isn't enough and he doesn't want me to have to go back to work.
I hope he's having fun out there.
BUT I also hopes he doesn't go back after the baby and finds a different job around here. You know?
Today my mom is coming over to help me paint the baby's closet.
We are going to start moving stuff in there and everything.
I have to organize his clothes and stuff--but we still have to buy a dresser for him! And a bookcase!
::
2007 8 April :: 3.03 pm
:: Mood: an emotional mess
He left.
I told myself all morning that I wasn't going to cry but when I let everyone out downstairs and he turned around to give me a hug, I saw him cry and I lost all composure. =(
Now I'm on the phone with his mom and texting him and he's telling me he hopes I hold the baby in until he gets back, haha.
Ahh, I miss him already.
But! I have to get in the shower to go down my gram's for Easter dinner.
Well, quarter after 1..
Justin is leaving in about 45 minutes.. =(
He is going to Ocean City, MD to work with Shaun for three weeks.
The next time I'll see him we'll probably have a baby.
If I have it while he's gone he has to take a bus to Baltimore and then a plane to Pittsburgh so he can get here in like a couple hours and not miss it.
I told him he HAS to hurry though because I'll be scared by myself.
He's the one person I'm closest with so I'll feel better if he's there.
I wish Liz could be there.. she's the one person that I can actually talk to about anythign and she understands.
It always makes me feel better to talk to Liz about stuff.
She was one of the first people that I talked to about being pregnant.
Ughh! But it's going to be SO weird without Justin.
for THREE weeks.
I've been with him every single day since..
since July 2005.
Atleast I can get some cleaning done--he is so messy.
The first thing I'm about to do is paint the baby's closet and then I can start moving things in the room.
The closet is the only thing that needs painted.
Sometime this week my mom wants to run to Babies R Us to buy a diaper bag and also I need a dresser and a bookcase.
I guess I'll miss my lame boyfriend.
Even though I get sick of him like ALL the time--I'm really sad he's leaving.
Anyways, I'm gonna go..
I ain't tryna fuck ya man, erry'one knows he my numba one fan!
I don't have shit to update about but I'm bored so I figured I'd do it anyways.
Shaun came over last night and helped Bub paint the rest of the baby's room. =D
Did I tell you we've decided on a name?
FINALLY!
I wanted the name "jace" but he hated that.
he said it wouldn't be so bad if it was "j-a-y-c-e,"
so I said I'd go along with that.
well, then he changed his mind and said no, that's dumb.
then--i came up with it.
i hate the name Jason, right?
Well, I don't know why, I just do.
BUT!! For some reason, the name Jaycen isn't that bad to me.
So.. I asked Justin.. and he said YES!
=D I was so excited. haha.
Everyone knows the baby is going to be called "Jayce."
--Well, except Justin. ;]
But anywyas, that's the name--jaycen matthew marish.
Ugh.
Justin is at work.
Ludwick got him a job. Haha.
But--Shaun got him a job, too.
I'd rather him work with Ludwick, though, because if he works with Shaun he'll be gone for like 2 weeks at a time and come home for like a weekend. That sucks because he'll never get to see the baby, but if he DOES do that, I don't have to go back to wrok--so.. it's up to him.
Ulgh.
I have a lot to do today.
I'm going to take a shower (cause I haven't yet--i know, scuz, right? it's like 1:00 in the afternoon! yuck)
Then I have to clean the house like a maniac because everything is messy except for the kitchen because I cleaned that last night.
THEN! I have to wait around for Justin to need a ride home.
When he gets home, I guess I'll go grocery shopping--but I really don't want to.
I hate going out of the house, I'm such a loser.
We need fabric softener really bad but I only have like $20 in my bank account until my paycheck comes through on Monday.
For some reason, my electric bill went up $200.
I have nooo idea why that is, but I guess I have to call on Monday and see what the fuck is up. Why would it do that?
I mean, granted, it went from an estimated reading to an actual, but still--my first one was actual and it was still only $45.
I keep on getting these weird hurty things in my tummy.
I don't know, but I think they might be Braxton Hicks Contractions.
They feel like cramps at the top of my stomach.
I can tolerate them, because I've had so many freaking thigns wrong with my stomach, but still--they're weird.
I get them in the middle of the night and I wake up feeling liek I just did a million sit ups before bed. Weird, huh?
I don't know what they are.
The reason why I liked Chris Sligh so much was because of his audition. Most people don't know what I'm talking about because they haven't watched it from the beginning.
Well, here it is:
Since my last update..
My baby shower was a lot of fun. =)
EVEN THOUGH I left the answer key to the games at my house, we forget to play the game where everyone guesses how fat I am, I looked like shit because I kept crying, I hated what I was wearing, and I didn't get a chance to talk to every single person for as long as I watned to.
Everyone kept asking if it was catered because the food was soooo good. I ate a lot. Not as much as I wanted to, though. My mom ended up having to throw a lot away because it wouldn't fit in her fridge. I was sad when she told me because I would've ate it all.
Leanne and Michelle came out for it.
I miss them soo much, I wish they could've stayed longer! =(
We took a lot of pictures. They are fun.
Justin is all fussy and excited about the presents and he put everything together already.
Aaaaand he's a fucking moron and thinks you need two coats of primer.
Whatever. If it wasn't for him the room would already be painted.
He pisses me off sometimes.
We got light blue for the baby's room. I think we are going to leave all the trim white. Eventually, I want to get dark blue carpet in there.
I got pretty much everything I needed at the shower.
All the presents were sooo extrmely nice, I can't wait to actually go through everything. I have to wait til the room is painted though.
The only thing I really need now is a book case for the baby and a dresser. =)
Also.. I am going to get a new diaper bag because I didn't get the one I wanted and I think it is cute.
Today I had soo much to do. I had to go over Joe Fida's and renew my registration. It expired in February!!
After that, I had to go to Marsh Tire and get my inspection and emissions.
I need to get those pictures from my baby shower on my computer so I can crop them and fix the lighting and everything and then I can print them out and put them in frames!!
I am going to hang four pictures up on the wall in my lviing room in two frames I have to match this mirror I put up.
I need more stuff to hang up on these walls though.
First things first--I need to get a new patio door.
THAT'S most important. Then a new entrance door because I pulled it out of the wall and the nails dont go back in.
I am pretty much just rambling on.
Just being bored.
I am excited about the high chair, pack n play, swing, and travel system that I got. =D
The nursery theme is cute too.
Well, I have so many things to do right now that it's not even funny.
The day of my last update, I was trying to cram everything in that I had to do.
I had to go to Shop n Save and pick out a cake.
I told them how I wanted it but the girl didn't write any of it down?
I"m really picky about things so I doubt it's going to be done right.
What low expectations I have...
=/
I wish I could do it myself.
After that we had to take Justin's friend home.
We prepared for the long ride.
Nore came with us.
I realized I hadn't ate anything all day so we stopped at McDonald's and Justin bought me a kid's McNuggets meal, Nore got a mcchicken, and justin got a double cheeseburger, but ended up switching with Nore in the end.
We ate it down by the river so Nore could play a little bit.
His paws got a little muddy, but we couldn't let him jump in because we didn't have a towel for him to dry off.
After that, we went home.
A little bit later, me and Justin put Nore in the crate and left to go to the mall becuase he bought me a shirt to wear to the shower and I didn't really like it--it was one of those shirts that make you look fat.
Yeah, yeah, I know.. I kinda AM fat right now.. but that's not what I mean.
You know those shirts that you don't want to wear when you're not pregnant because they make you look like you are?
Well, Tyra says you don't want to wear those shirts when you are pregnant either.
It was really tight around my boobs and I can't wear a bra with it because it's a tank top so it smooshed them down and looked horrible.
Then, it's real loose and flow-y on my mid-section so that my stomach looks 10x bigger than it is.. and right now, we don't need that because my stomach is HUGE.
Anyways--we returned it and I tried on a million pair of jeans.
I finally found a pair I wanted.
It is rough becuase I'm short, so I have to by PETITE small, because regular small is wayyy too long.. but.. petite is a little too short for me and I don't like it when the backs of my jeans are off the ground.
Oh well, I settled for them in the end.
Now I still have to find a shirt to wear. That's a task.
I'll quickly look at Gabes but I'm probably going to have to run down to Target the morning of the shower.
Today I have to do paperwork with JoJo in Monessen.
She told me to be there for 11.. I don't know how long we will be there til.
Justin was going to get my car inspected while I'm at work, but I'm kinda hoping he forgets because I have a lot to do and if I don't have a ride home from work I'm going to be pissed.
Car inspections are a big hassle!!
Maybe if I get off work early today I can run to Gabes?
I also have to shop around for party game gifts.
My mom bought candles ad picture frames and stuff.
April bought some tupperware containers and a strainer and dish towels and stuff... Those are good gifts, but they are sort of unappropriate for the age of the party. You know what I mean?
So I am going to go look for stuff.
I don't know what to buy! I'll just look around, I guess.
Tomorrow, I was planning on having the day off because our therapists will be at a luncheon with doctors.. BUT.. they need me in Bentleyville so I have to go over there. =(
I don't even know how to get there, I don't think!
I'm probably going to get lost!!
I've never been there. And.. I have to work from 10 until like all day.
Yesterday,
I woke up and started to get ready for work to be there for 11, but then my Aunt Gene Ann called me and said she was on her way to set up my crib.
Soo!!
I cleaned up my house a little bit and mainly moved a bunch of shit out of the baby's room to make room for the crib and changing table.
She got there and I took a shower and got ready for work.
Her and her friend set up the crib and gave me a bag of baby clothes that I looked through last night and absolutely loved.
I have to go through eveything and sort out by sizes.
I am going to keep out all the newborn stuff and then put the 3-6 and 6-9 stuff in totes so it will be easy when the baby gets here.
Speaking of stuff--I can not WAIT for my shower.
I am so excited for it.
I am excited to get a bunch of new cute baby stuff,
but even more i'm super excited to see everyone that I haven't seen in a while. =D
So far about 88 people RSVPed so far but I had a dream last night that no one ended up being able to come in the end and I had about 8 people there. Haha. That probably will happen...
If you're wondering why I'm up so early--it's NORE.
Me and Justin fell asleep on teh couch again last night and around 3am Nore was crying because there was no room for him to jump up with us.
Soo.. I went in the bedroom and he came with me and we slept there..
until about 7:30am.
He was pawing me and digging his face in my neck to wake me up.
I let him out and talked to the neighbor for a little while and then I came in here and watched Boy Meets World.
Now.. here I am.
I REALLY want to paint my bookcase sometime today.
I'm going to see if my brother Rich can bring it up so I can do it.
That way I can get all those books out of the way in the baby's room.
I should go through all of those books first becuase I don't think I am goign to keep all of them.
But.. I don't know what to do with them all...?
A lot of them are like middle school and high school books that I read a long time ago.
I'm waiting for Justin to get ready to leave because we are going out to eat.. Quaker Steak and Lube, I think. Mmmmm.. I <3 Food.
He just got back from playing basketball with Bap.
I ended up not taking Nore out because I wanted to surprise Justin for his birthday and re-run the cable wire. (It had like 4 splits in it and so I jsut ran one whole wire.)
He said, "I saw your girl down there!!!! she was trying to talk to me"
Haha, he's so gay. I bet she wasn't. He probably made that up because he thinks he's hot and that everyone wants him.
Speaking of lame--he is trying to make me pick him out an outfit to wear.
Nore was bad while Justin was gone.
He chewed on the edge of the deck and there is wood everywhere.
Ummm.. I think I'm closing up shop.
I gotta pick lameboy out a shirt.
I was trying to find a Tila Tequila video to post on here but they don't have one for the song I want.
I like "Fuck Ya Man" too, so I was looking through videos on YouTube and this one is my favorite so I figured I'd post it anywyas.
Anywya.. I'm out, I gotta dry my hair. I'm taking Nore to play at the park or something. =D
I like the white girl on the left, she gets so into it. Hahaha
Today is Justin's birthday, we're probably going to go to Cozumel to eat sometime tonight.
Haha, he's paying though ;]
I was thinking about getting him a new Pirates hat for his birthday, but.. I dunno.
I didn't feel like going to Lids.
Last night we went to Rowl's little party.
We watched Borat and chilled.
We were invited to sleep at Cyktor's cabin or go to Nicole's but we just came home because baby Nore was waiting for us in his cage and I didn't want to leave him in the first place.
I didn't want to be gone TOO long because I was afraid he might be sick after the crispy chicken sandwich and the ultimate chicken grill i gave him from Wendy's. Also.. fries.
..and extra tomato.
You know what commercial I like?
That one beer commercial (i don't know for what beer) where they go for the last one and decide to play Rock Paper Scissors for it.
..and the guy whips a rock at the other guys head and as the guy is down on the ground he yells, "but i threw paper!" and the guy walking away says, "yeah.. and i threw a rock."
HAHAHAHA.
Anyways, I'm super bored.
Serg is here adn they are watching the Pens game.
Nore is chewing on a broom.
Last night we fell asleep on the couch and Nore woke up and saw we were sleeping without him so he jumped up with us again.
Halfway through the night I had to switch sides because my right hip was numb...
well.. I lost my spot and couldn't fit back on.
So, I went in the bedroom, Nore followed me and we went to sleep in the bed. =D
He tried waking me up at 9am but I put the pillow over my head.
He came out to the living room to wake Justin up, but Justin ignored him so he just came back in with me and went to sleep.
We woke up at like 11:30 and now here we are, chillin.
I am going to get a shower when Serg leaves and eat some lunch. =)
Once I hit the football stands--call it game time
Posted in the club like a supa model,
Jeans painted on same price as the Cris bottle
Petite but that ass sit just right,
Now he wanna beat it up like his first name Ike
Last night they all got home from the tattoo shop and ate some spaghetti and stuff.
I wasn't feeling very good, so I layed down on the couch.
I think it was from standing over the stove and stuff without really walking around. Plus, I was super hot.
Serg and Nicole came over and we all chilled for a little bit then everyone left.
Me and Justin played Marvel Alliance (ps3 game that I made him rent for me. =D)
Then, Justin rubbed my back and we fell asleep on the couch.
Halfway through the night Nore realized we were sleeping without him so he jumped up next to me ontop of Justin's legs.
He put his paws around me and fell asleep.
I woke up at 9am because he was snoring in my ear and almost pushing me off the couch.
I knew I wasn't going to be able to get comfy again, plus.. my hips were KILLING me, so I went in the bedroom to go to sleep.
Nore followed me and we slept in there til 12 when he woke me up to go pee.
Now.. here I am.
Justin is getting out of the bath so I am going to eat a bowl of cereal and take a shower. =D
My hair has been super oily lately, I might rinse it with vinegar today.??
I seems like I have a lot of shampoo and conditioner build up.
