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:: 2007 15 January :: 7.49 pm

new pictures:

meehan0125.myphotoalbum.com

:: 2007 14 January :: 11.40 pm

i'm hot cause i'm fly, you ain't cause you not
this is why, this is why, this is why i'm hot

Soo..
Me and Justin went to see Stomp the Yard today.
We've planned on going to see it and today we finally went down Loews Theatre.
It was definitely and awesome movie that I would recommend seeing.
There were some very good-looking people in it. Haha.
All through the beginning of the movie Justin and I kept saying to each other, "you think he's/she's hot???"

It was a really good movie.

Anywyas.

We just made brownies.
...they're gone.

Today Justin has seemed so.. sad.
Besides when we were out to the movies and dinner he has been acting so weird.
So we're watching Desperate Housewives (he DVRed it for me so I wouldn't miss it) and I say, "Do you still love me?"
and as if it were a dumb question he answers back, "I always will..."
I got quiet. I didn't know what to say.

Eh.. I'm out for now.

:: 2007 9 January :: 12.44 pm
:: Mood: lazy, bored

another lazy day

Hmm.
No work today.
I am about to hop in the shower right now actually and then possibly clean up a little bit. Things are a mess and I would like to put away more stuff today since I'm off.

It feels like another lazy day, though.

Perhaps I can get some shopping in...?

I live a very boring life.

:: 2007 7 January :: 3.19 pm

sorry i'm a champion...

Okay, well.
I'm freezing.
I have the heat on like 74 and the thermostat says it's currently 62.
wtf? TURN ON, HEATER!!

Justin went to Big Lots to buy some liner for the kitchen cupboards, a trash can, shampoo and conditioner, and anything else that kid wants.

last night we went grocery shopping and spent $50 each. haha.
piggies!

i am looking for a new background image for my journal so i can make a new layout.
i dunno.. i think i might stick with the black & white for now, but we'll see what i come across.

i haven't had time to even breathe, we've been working so hard on getting situated.
his mom has wanted to give us these dressers that we really don't need.. and ive said in the first place that we really don't need them because we have so much closet space and my brother is building us shelves for them for whatever else we need. (jeans, shorts, pants.) socks and undies--i have these little drawers for them that i had in my old closet when i lived at home.

so anywyas, she brings them over today.
he was all stressed out all morning because of it.
as soon as we woke up she wanted to meet us up at the apartment (we stayed at my mom's) and move these things up to the bedroom.
justin siad we would take the smaller of the two but he would burn the other one. (there really was no need to say that, but..)

there was a big fight with yelling and screaming and crying in the front of the apartment and it resulted in her saying "fuck you, i'm not having anything to do with either of you," and driving away in a rage.
justin now has a swollen and broken hand that looks disgusting and it's a mess.

i'm pissed because my DVR didn't record the whole tyra banks marathon and it cut out right in the middle of an episode. =(
i always get REALLY into that show.
it would be way cool to be a model but.. it's tough bizz. you don't have to be super rpetty, you just have to know your angles.

and i'm sick. i think i am coming down with the flu or something because i couldnt get out of bed this mornign and i definitely feel horrible.

i am waiting for justin to get here so i can take a damn shower but i've got to try to find my shower liner so i don't ruin my shower curtain.

aaaanyways.
i'm out.

:: 2007 2 January :: 8.02 pm

"that was the best thing i ever heard you say"

"When's God going to give her a reality check?"-Liz Wypych

2 Comments | Comment me!!

:: 2006 30 December :: 1.26 pm

Well, I just got out of the shower a little bit ago and then proceeded to fold mine and Justin's clothes.
That's done so I'm just chillin', waitng to go to Lowes to get shit for the apartment.

There are a couple more pictures on my photo album.

Other than that, not much of an update here.
I'm jsut being bored.

I feel bad for Saddam Hussein, is that weird?
Did you see how sad and scared he looked when he was about to be hung? I just get hurt feelings for people.
=/

Maybe it's just this pregnancy thing?

Cause I was telling Liz how I get these weird dreams..
Like for real, I have the weirdest dreams.

The other night I had a dream that I was somehwre.. I dont know..
But we were in like an auditorium and Sarah was next to me.
but she didn't look like regular Sarah.
she looked the way I would make her look if I was on a makeover show.

She had hair a little longer than shoulder length and it was all flipped out and it was regular brown, like mine.
And she had eyebrows in my dream.
But not just any eyebrows, the kind I would make her have if we were friends and I told her to grow them in so I could shape them.
And instead of wearing her make up a horrible way, she wore it the way I would put it on her to fit the shape of ehr face.
I can't remember exactly what she was wearing but they were jeans that were pulled up all the way instead of sagging down how she wears them and she was wearing a shirt that covered the pouch on her belly.

So I was like, "You look really pretty, Sarah."
and she was like, "uhh okay," and gave me that look she always wears that makes you think she is smelling something foul.

I ignored her, because in my dream, it didn't even frustrate me at all, instead it made me feel bad for her.
I said, "K.. I wanna tell you something.."
And she walked away from me and was a bitch.
But.. I followed her because I didn't even want to punch her in the face.
I said, "Sarah, listen. I hate you sometimes, but not really. I hate the way you are annoying and the way you act. But I just want to tell you that I know why you act this way."
She gave me that look. "uhh, what way??"

"I know it's not your fault that you're psycho and I know you hate me but I think it's for the wrong reasons. I understand you a little better now and I think that something must be done to help you."

Okay, real Lisa has no idea what that means because I DON'T understand her and i don't know what makes her a crazy bitch.
I just think that Justin totally fucked her over and fucked her up and she dwells on it and she has some personal problems that get to her and make her feel like she needs to prove something to everyone.

and in the process, she hates me for it, regardless of whether I did anything to her or not. She was trying to fix things with Justin and then I came and he grew apart from her.

ANyways, I woke up and felt absolutely nothing bad towards that girl.
I wanted to call her and bake her a pan of brownies.
(I love brownies, so it's just natural that I feel they would make anyone else feel better as well.)

It was the weirdest thing.
I have no idea what it meant.
Pregnant girls have really weird dreams.

Like I said, I was telling this to Liz and she basically told me I was a moron.
She said Sarah will never be nice, my dream was all fake, and there's nothign that will change her from being a bitch.

I think she just needs someone to love.

Just liek Saddam Hussein.
I bet a wife could've put him in his place.

:: 2006 30 December :: 1.26 pm

Well, I just got out of the shower a little bit ago and then proceeded to fold mine and Justin's clothes.
That's done so I'm just chillin', waitng to go to Lowes to get shit for the apartment.

There are a couple more pictures on my photo album.

Other than that, not much of an update here.
I'm jsut being bored.

I feel bad for Saddam Hussein, is that weird?
Did you see how sad and scared he looked when he was about to be hung? I just get hurt feelings for people.
=/

Maybe it's just this pregnancy thing?

Cause I was telling Liz how I get these weird dreams..
Like for real, I have the weirdest dreams.

The other night I had a dream that I was somehwre.. I dont know..
But we were in like an auditorium and Sarah was next to me.
but she didn't look like regular Sarah.
she looked the way I would make her look if I was on a makeover show.

She had hair a little longer than shoulder length and it was all flipped out and it was regular brown, like mine.
And she had eyebrows in my dream.
But not just any eyebrows, the kind I would make her have if we were friends and I told her to grow them in so I could shape them.
And instead of wearing her make up a horrible way, she wore it the way I would put it on her to fit the shape of ehr face.
I can't remember exactly what she was wearing but they were jeans that were pulled up all the way instead of sagging down how she wears them and she was wearing a shirt that covered the pouch on her belly.

So I was like, "You look really pretty, Sarah."
and she was like, "uhh okay," and gave me that look she always wears that makes you think she is smelling something foul.

I ignored her, because in my dream, it didn't even frustrate me at all, instead it made me feel bad for her.
I said, "K.. I wanna tell you something.."
And she walked away from me and was a bitch.
But.. I followed her because I didn't even want to punch her in the face.
I said, "Sarah, listen. I hate you sometimes, but not really. I hate the way you are annoying and the way you act. But I just want to tell you that I know why you act this way."
She gave me that look. "uhh, what way??"

"I know it's not your fault that you're psycho and I know you hate me but I think it's for the wrong reasons. I understand you a little better now and I think that something must be done to help you."

Okay, real Lisa has no idea what that means because I DON'T understand her and i don't know what makes her a crazy bitch.
I just think that Justin totally fucked her over and fucked her up and she dwells on it and she has some personal problems that get to her and make her feel like she needs to prove something to everyone.

and in the process, she hates me for it, regardless of whether I did anything to her or not. She was trying to fix things with Justin and then I came and he grew apart from her.

ANyways, I woke up and felt absolutely nothing bad towards that girl.
I wanted to call her and bake her a pan of brownies.
(I love brownies, so it's just natural that I feel they would make anyone else feel better as well.)

It was the weirdest thing.
I have no idea what it meant.
Pregnant girls have really weird dreams.

Like I said, I was telling this to Liz and she basically told me I was a moron.
She said Sarah will never be nice, my dream was all fake, and there's nothign that will change her from being a bitch.

I think she just needs someone to love.

Just liek Saddam Hussein.

:: 2006 29 December :: 12.32 pm

i was dreaming of a white christmas

Fortunately, it didn't suck that bad.
Christmas Eve, after we chilled at my gram's and opened presents,
me and Justin slept over my house to wake up for Christmas morning.

I was more involved with his pile of presents than my own.
I was so worried about him having a good Christmas.
=/
There were a couple phone calls I didn't get to make that I wish I could have, but other than that, Christmas was cool.

I got tons and tons of clothes, and a bunch of other cool stuff.
i got a pot and pan set, a bed set, an ipod (that i may just take back and give my mom the money), some slippies, a new robe, a couple new purses, socks and undies, and bunches of more goodies.
i don't even remember what else.
basically, it was cool.

i think i still want to go out and buy my mom more things because she is always worried about looking out for everyone else and she doesn't have anything she wants.

i have to work at 1:00 today and i hate it.
the boys are up at the apartment fixings things up and trying to make the most of the horrible sparkly gold texture paint that the previous renters put up.
it's horrible.
my pap was joking about it and said he picked out that color and also a sparkly black for the other wall.
i just don't understand what would possess someone to paint a house that way and that's exactly what i kept asking my mom.
she said they probably thought it was going to look nice, but after they painted one wall don't you think they would've stopped?!

anyways, we were up there yesterday trying to sand the mess out.
i wish i could go up there today but i can't.. not til after work.

anyways, i think i'm done with this for now.
i am going to go try to find my shoes.

:: 2006 24 December :: 3.27 pm

hypocrites.. what a piece of shit.

I woke up with a million things to do today and ended up sitting here like a lazy bum!
However, I messed around with a bunch of pictures and added some cool effects. You can check 'em on my photo album.

I think it's a big joke how hypocritical some people are.
check this shit out:

she runs her mouth about my sister and when my sister confronts her she acts innocent.
i hate people liek that.
people that act like they don't read my journal every single day when i definitely have a counter on it that tells me exactly when you read it. ;]

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
April just made some delicious trukey.
Ed brought me a bunch in here and mmmmm i can't get over how yummy it is. I think I could eat the WHOLE thing!!!
best thing i ever ate!

I love Happy Gilmore.
.. Actually, I lvoe anything Adam Sandler.
Maybe that's why I cmae up with the name Julian?

I don't know what time we're going over my gram's though, so I think I'm going to get as much Resistance in as I can before we have to leave. =)

Okay I just wanted to make my comment on girls who talk about how pussy it is to not show up for a fight you're going to get jumped for but never mention the fight that they didn't show up for after calling up a couple girls to back 'em up against a 90lb skinny bitch.

:: 2006 22 December :: 8.48 pm
:: Mood: anxious

new pictures.. that's about it

I can't believe Christmas is just in a couple days!!
I still have presents to BUY let alone wrap!

Johnny and Bub are playing madden right now.
we jsut got a playstation3. it's pretty bad ass.
so that's what we do now.
i'm waiting for them to roll out, actually..
because i'm going to call christina over to play some Resistance!!

Uhh..
other than that..

I can't wait for Christmas.
Me and Justin are going over my gram's for Christmas Eve like always and then sleeping over my mom's to wake up for Christmas morning.
=)

I dunno what I'm going to wear for Christmas pictures yet though.. =/
I'm kinda a fatty now. Haha!

I guess I'll wear a sick pair of courds that Cassie gave me.
Speaking of Cassie, it was soo nice of her mom--she gave me and Justin a christmas card--our first one together!

The only thing I'm kinda putting off about Christmas is getting in touch with my dad. I've been procrastinating about it for a while now.. =/

Me and Justin got a sick new t.v. for a living room and sold Johnny our old one. We have one for the bedroom and the new one for the living room now.
We're all set to move now... I can't wait! =)
Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! I'm going crazy!!!!!!!!!!

Haha, Shaunzie's new thing is "parking spots for expectant mothers."
I don't even know if there is a such thing, but I guess there used to be one at Best Buy.
The other day we went to Eat n Park and Shaunzie and Cody came to sit with us after he got off work cause Shaun was there to pick him up.
Shaun's like, "hey, sorry i parked in your spot."
i didn't get it until we got outside and he was parked right in front.
hahahaha. what a dork.

He and Cody saw us at Long John's about a day or two later and Shaunzie made a remark about me parking in the expectant mother's spot again since I was parked off in the little cubby.

Ohhh brother. I wish there was a such thing. It would give my lazy ass an excuse not to walk far!! Haha.

This entry is long enough..
I guess I'm out for now.

:: 2006 21 December :: 12.45 am

I should be in bed, but I can't go to sleep!
It sucks because I have to get up early to work at 10:30.
I am starting to regret I begged Andy to work tomorrow. =/

I was supposed to have a hearing tomorrow at 10:00 which would've sucked even bigger time.
It got cancelled though, I don't know why.
I don't even feel liek going to it.. what's the point in having a hearing for something you plead guilty to??
I admitted I did it, and it was well over a year ago.. I think it's all jsut stupid bullshit now.
Ugh, whatever. It's postponed now so I'll just get it over with when the time comes.
I didn't think putting disgusting pictures on myspace would be that bad..?

I mean, when you go around bragging about taking naked pictures of yourself on acid, especially to your mother, you have some serious problems. Of course, we all know she has problems when she goes around announcing them to anyone who will listen.

Throw some paint thinner on someone's car, get some naked pictures of yourself on a fake myspace page. I figured it was all the same. If I was aware of her ill-mentality at the time, I wouldn't have done it. Especially if I would've been smart enough to realize that it was just makign her wish she were me more and more.

Yuck.

:: 2006 18 December :: 11.59 am

girls put on fronts, but they're all the same
--jealous haters with mental issues who can't stop talking about us.

( That subject applies to more than one lady. =] )

When I say I write in this for myself..
that really means that I write in my other journal the things I don't want anyone to know about and I keep this one for the sole reason to entertain myself.
I write everything I know that is going to come back to me by the means of immaturity so that I can laugh at how jealous and childish people are.
When I say "jealous girls," it is because I could write paragraphs among paragraphs--pages among pages--of nothing more than a bunch of bullshit about boys and the silly things they do.
..but is it going to come back to me? no. only girls.

*thanks for making my life that much more entertaining.

Anyways,
I'm getting ready to go to work. Justin went to West Virginia.
I'm awfully bored and writing CJ a letter.

Yesterday, me and my mum spent the whole day Christmas shopping.
By the end of the interminable 5 hour day, my legs felt like they were going to buckle underneath me, my back was as sore as a slut's bare ass after a night with a man holding a whip, and i was walking with a limp because i could barely move.
After that, me and Justin went to Best Buy to pick out a new t.v.
I don't see what the point in having three t.v.s is, but whatev.
We were looking for a 32", but instead we set our hearts on a 50" only to be brought down by the very cool and knowledgable salesman who told us that projection t.v.s sucks.
Soo.. we decided on a plasma t.v.--nope, he talked us out of that one with the word "madden."
so we're going with an LCD screen.
the 32" like we planned on? Nope. We talked each other out of that one and we're going back later and getting a 40".
It doesn't sound like much of a difference, but.. it seemed to be when you were looking at the two.

My work Christmas party--was fun.
We spent three hours at Sonny's and ate delicious food.
I love the people I work with. They're lovely.
=)

I think it's time to go eat again. I woke up to Justin bringing me in a plate of yummy pancakes and a glass of orange juice, but that was at 9:00!!! I could go for a sandwich on toast right about now. =)

Overall, i'm very happy lately and nothing anyone says could bring me down. When you try, I laugh at you.
Kinda like how people write blogs about my sister making up lies and we read them and laugh. HAHahahahahahHAHAHAHA.
If she's never said a word to you, what reason is there to do that?
Nevermind, we're dealing with a girl who has mental problems ontop of mental problems.
She's so much cooler than you are. Don't be jealous because you're not as pretty as she is. Just get over it. It's not hard.

:: 2006 16 December :: 1.38 pm

psssyyyccchhheeeee

Ugh. December 27th can't come sooner.
"What's December 27th?" you ask?
It's the day we move in to our new apartment. =)

Don't stalk us to find out where it's at either, we are telling a very limited amount of people. ;]

We have pretty much everything ready to move. We don't have a couch yet, though, so we worked on picking one out and I think we found just the riiight one. =)

Our bedroom is going to be green and goldish with black furniture.
Julian's room is going to be light blue and the theme we have picked out is a zoo theme. It's really cute.
The living room is going to be browns & blacks.
The kitchen is white, red, and black.
The bathroom.. well, I took my shower curtain from my bathroom at my house which is like a gold color, so we might do like golds and browns and tans and maybe green for an accent color.
Sound nice?

Grrr.. I can't wait.
It sucks waiting on people!
We have to wait for the people who live there now to move out and it seems like it will take five years!!

=(

I can't wait to get our new puppy, neither.
Travis and Brent told us to take Hennessey.
She's cute, haha, but we're definitely going to get our *own* dog.
I put it in nice words because Justin will say, "we would rather not have a dog who's been in five different homes."
=/
I like her though, I was playin rough with her the other day and got cut by her puppy teeth. =) that's okay, i miss playing with a puppy, it's been a while since we saw Denol's dogs and Hailey grew up just as fast as Flip did.. =/
I wonder how big Kilo is now..!

We were supposed to go today to pick out the one we wanted but Justin forgot he was supposed to go with Mav to Mav's tattoo appointment with Jim.
and then after he gets back we have like an hour to get ready for my Christmas party at work..
It's at Sonny's, I'm pretty pumped about it.
I wonder who my secret santa is??
I can't wait to see Amber drunk, it's going to be a blast I think.

Ughh.. okay.. uploaded more pictures so if you wanna see them, go ahead.
My cameras dead but I still have more to add:
http://meehan0125.myphotoalbum.com/albums.php

:: 2006 13 December :: 10.35 pm

The good news.. and the bad news...

I'm sitting here watchin Justin and Johnny play poker--pretty ridiculous.

Yesterday, he went to basketball so I went to look at a house with my mom and dad for me and Justin. It was pretty ncie overall, but I had to decide.
Then, this very morning, just as I had made my decision, about five other offers came up and it made it REALLY hard to decide.
I think our final answer is pretty clear, though.
We're moving in ASAP and hopefull we're there by Christmas. =)

Other than that--we will, of course, be taking Tubby. =)..
but ALSO! we will be taking our NEW puppy!!! =D
(that's what i'm REALLY excited about!!)

The only thing that I can say sucks right now is that I thought Sarah was staying out of my business, only to find that she was reading my blog today and checked back entries dated to October. Pretty lame.
I wish that girl would get a life.
If I had known about her serious mental issues over a year ago, I would've made sure me and Justin moved as far away from her as possible. I've just come to find that she tries to start trouble in every direction she can. I hate that.
That's okay.. it's gonna be pretty hard to track us down when we're out of Belle Vernon and living our OWN life with our FAMILY.
=)

Eh, i'm bored.
I'm going to continue to look up furniture that my mom's buying me for Christmas, so I'm out.. lata!!!

:: 2006 10 December :: 11.23 pm

hmm.. lookin' back...

I'm reading my xanga.
It mainly takes place at the beginning of Cody's and my relationship and it's so weird.
My entries seem to get over him so fast every time we would break up and not talk for a month. I couldn't imagine that happening with Justin. I don't think I could breathe without him.
That's another thing. It will say, "oh, cody this-cody that. i like him so much," and then it will say "hanging out with justin was the best part of my day," and have what we did in bold letters.
wtf? did i always like justin?

i always figured that i loved justin but.. i always knew it was a different way from how i loved cody.

in one entry there's this poem i wrote when we broke up,
"I thought we had something that would last,
I thought you'd change, despite your bad past,
I loved you completely with all of my heart,
I dreaded the day, but denied we'd ever part.

I found you by accident, not looking for love,
You're tricks & your charm, I wasn't aware of,
I figured it would be just another game for me,
Loving you was definitely not meant to be.

I should've listened to the stories I heard,
But falling for you, I believed your every word,
Everything people said, I looked past it all,
I ditched all my friends to wait for your call.

With each stupid fight, I'd sit and I'd worry,
I'd cry out my eyes while my vision got blurry,
When you did something wrong I'd think of what to say,
But my mind would go blank with the sound of your "hey".

As much as I need you, I must let you go,
I want to be with you, but the answer is "no",
I yearn for you to come make me whole,
Without "You and I", I can not be full.

I considered us perfect, we were told it was fate,
I wanted you for always to be my soul-mate,
There's nothing about you I will forget,
And on that statement, our lives I would bet.

I can't forget one simple thing,
How you'd bring me to tears with each song that you'd sing,
Impossible to forget each time that we'd kiss,
You holding me close is what I sure will miss.

But depsite everything, and I do not know why,
Despite everyday that you made me cry,
Despital every dick thing that you do,
I want you to know... I will always love you."

but.. it's weird, because I forgot about that poem, but reading it reminds me of how I felt when I wrote it. You know? Like how when you think about a certain thing in the past you can hear a song you associated with it?
That's what it's like.. and.. I understand those feelings but they're not like what I feel for Justin.
I can't say I never loved Cody.. because I don't know if that's true,
I think it just wasn't as *serious* as what Justin and I have.
He broke my heart quite a few times but we also shared millions of good memories.

He was my best friend and now he is just someone of my past.
Kinda like him and Justin are, I guess.
I think we woudl be able to get along without dating each other but I would never want to do it for risk of losing what I have and what I LOVE.

I wouldn't change a thing about what I have right now for the world.
I made some mistakes in my past and I'm living with them now, but that's just my consequences. In a few weeks I will be put on probation for my first and ONLY time for something childish and spiteful that I have done but I am perfectly fine with that and I've accepted it.

It's how you gotta live. =)
..and I'm happy with my life.

You can say I'm stupid for being happy about starting a family so young, but it wouldn't phase me at all. I've grown up a lot.. even within the past few months.

:: 2006 10 December :: 4.44 pm

Update? I'd say it's time.
I found a new photo album site that definitely kicks ass over every other one there is.

The link to it is: meehan0125.myphotoalbum.com.

There are so many options I can change.
I don't have very many pictures uploaded to it yet, but I will get some soon.
Besides that, I have to recharge my digital camera because my battery died on me last night. =(
After that, I'll get on the picture-taking. It's more fun when you have somewhere to upload it to.

Other than that,
Sanford jsut ran away and I had to go catch him.
Ed let him go. =(
Luckily, I drove around and got to only Shaunzie's house when I found him.

Last night, we went to Cam's house.
A few people started callign Cam asking him if he was okay when we heard about a big wreck on 51 involving six kids from Belle Vernon.
Liz was going to the movies with Abby and Briana, so I called to make sure she was alright when she told me that just before I called, Erin Naylor called Abby crying becuase the driver of the smashed vehicle was Jared.
Me and Justin went out there to check it out. It was pretty bad.
I can't stop thinking about it, I hope everyone's okay.

I guess Jared was driving North down 51 as a state cop was heading South towards like.. Get Go..
Jared attempted to make the left off of 51 onto McHenry when they collided.
Surprisingly, the police car was intact and it looked liek he just opened his door and got out...

Geez..

:: 2006 4 December :: 11.41 pm

Ehh, just checkin' my shit.
Someone looked me up on classmates.com and I got an e-mail with an alert but I couldn't figure out where it says who it was.

Classmates.com talked me into signing up for a photosite(?). I dunno, does anyone have a photosite? I like to migrate towards what more people have to keep a part of a community. That's why I got my webshots, but I don't like the set up.

Uploading pictures...
that reminds me. I have to get a couple off my camera and onto the computer.

Hmm.. I don't think I like this photosite at all.
You can't really change layouts besides the ones that have premade..
Yeah, I definitely hate it.. too bad.

Ehh.. I think while I'm on the verge that I'm going to look for an album I like.. peace

:: 2006 1 December :: 11.36 pm

Ugh, there's no title because I deleted my whole entry.

Oh well, I'll uodate tomorrow, I don't feel like it now.

Just one quick question:

...is this my sister making that dumb face in the background?
here's another one:

:: 2006 25 November :: 12.13 pm

welp, it's been a while..

I don't think I'm ever going to successfully make this thing private.
I sent a letter to the site administrator but I didn't receive an answer.
Not that I had high hopes on actually getting a reply...

I'm checking my stats though, and the way it's looking I might not even have to make this thing private.
The only one I have a problem with reading my business is Sarah because I've been trying to get her out of my life completely, and she hasn't even read it in a good minute.

Me and Justin bought Tiger Woods. =D
I'm so excited. We sold 2006 and just the other day we decided to buy 2007 because Adam has it and we always play it over Jenna's.
We created players and everything and we've been working on getting our stats up.

So.. I could update about a million things.
How about the day before Thanksgiving...?!
I had a sonogram. =)
Yeah, me, Justin, and my mom went to Women's MVH.
It was really cool. Justin was so excited.
The lady said 17 weeks is a little early to determine the gender.
We were checking out the bones and all the organs and then...
"there's the penis and the scrotum."
haha.. my mom punched Justin and he smiled. He was like, "told you."
Not that any of us really expected it to be a girl, anyways.

He was calling everybody he could think of and letting them know.
It was nice. The baby was sucking his thumb pretty much the whole time. Well, when he wasn't jumping around.
We showed Cassie the pictures (well, we showed EVERYBODY the pictures) and she said he looks like Jayden!! =)
We love that little boy.

Then, Thanksgiving.
First, we went to his sister's aunt's house and ate around 2:30.
It was soooo yummy. I ate soo much.
After that, we left and went to his house.
His mom made dinner, too, but they weren't having dinner there so we grabbed a plate.
Then, we left there and went to my gram's house and Justin said he was too full to eat, but when I made him a plate of turkey, corn, mashed potatoes, and gravy, he couldn't say no and he had two plates. Haha.. I looooove thanksgiving!! I could go for dinner right now!!

We stayed there forever. Justin had to suffer through family picture time but he took it like a man... for the most part.
I can't wait to get the pictures developed.
I probably look like a fat hog in all of them, but that's okay. I'm allowed. Haha, everyone loves it anyways. *rolls eyes*
I gained 20lbs!! I never weighed this much ever, but I'm halfway there.
When I got weighed before my pregnancy, I was 100lbs, so I have to gain between 40 and 60.
Geesh! Everyone says I don't even look fat except in my belly.
It's weird because I used to have a toned stomach and now I look like a chubby girl with a roll!!!! Hahah.

After Thanksgiving dinner there, we left and came to his house.
We woke up the next morning and went to South Hills to shop!!!
We bought sooooo mcuh stuff. Well, I got shopping done for a lot of people and he got shopping done for... me and his mom. Ha.
We were in Abercrombie and he was asking me, "do you want anything else?", "are you done?" I felt like I had a $5000 shopping spree!!!! I felt liek I was with my grandma. I picked out everything!
We both ended up spending a good couple hundreds. Haha.
That's when we ended the spree by going to Wal-Mart and getting Tiger Woods.
When we got back to his house his mom had shredded turkey in gravy with mashed potatoes, corn, and stuffing. It's making my mouth water thinking about it.

Speaking of which, I'm starving. I think we're going to head out to Girabaldi club for some spaghetti and meatballs!!!

:: 2006 19 November :: 2.41 pm

Working on making this thing private.. wtf javascript?

i might not have to because sarah hasn't read it in a while and she's really the only one i want to exclude from my biznazz.
i still would lke to try though because there's those random people that search on search engines and find my shit.

last night we all went out to eat..
me, babe, jenna, adam, nicole, and beckis.
we went to speer street grill.
i got a bomb ass steak with mushrooms and shrimp.
it was sooo good.
babe got chicken parm and he hated it.
i told him i would rather hate my food than for him to hate his.
i hate when we go places and he doesnt like the food.
grr.
i would've traded him but uhh considering he eats steak well done and mine was medium rare.. it might have made him throw up.

other than that..
nothin new.
we might not even have to build that apartment upstairs the shop becuse my grandpap is probably kicking the neighbors out.
that would be cool.
..that would be way cool, actually.

i'm just ready to move somewhere that is MINE so i can actually buy groceries and not have to hide them and i can make thigns how i want them and fix thigns up how i want.
ya know?

i'm super excited for thanksgiving.
i love food and thanksgiving is a food day.
i will give thanks for that food... all day long.
i haven't actually been full in a long time.
me and nicole were talking about that..
she said i'll never quite get that "full" feeling until this is over.
not that i'm in a rush to over it.
i'm halfway there, it can't be so bad. ;] (haaaaa)
but seriously.
i'm almost done with this shit and i'm not in a rush to get my period anytime soon.. trust me.

four more days til my doctor's appointment.
...the moment of truth.
the source of everyone's bet. (why am i a bet?)
i don't have a preference of my first child.
i tell them that, they don't believe me.
some whine they want a girl (the girls)
some whine they want a boy (the guys)
justin says he hopes it's a boy so he "doesnt have to be fucking dudes up."
if it's a boy, then good, the next child i have will have an older brother to take care of them.
if it's a girl, i'll have my own little dress up doll, good.
so either way, it's gravy baby.
i'm milkin this for what it's worth and i'm having a good time. =)
the only bad thing was people always touching me.
but i guess i got past the point where everyones rubbing your tummy.
at first the only one i let do it was justin but i guess i'm open for exhibit.

ehh i'm done rambling on.
i gotta get this party started.

1 Comment | Comment me!!

:: 2006 17 November :: 11.47 am

ugghhh
I'm getting ready to take a shower but I've been working on making my journal private.
I can't find a setting, however, so I started just going manually to each entry and making them private.
That's a bitch, though.
Sooo.. I'll probably just put a password on it.
If you want one, leave a comment or something or ask me and I'll tell you.
I log IP Addresses though, so I know if you read it or not and if you're an avid reader I'll just give it to you.
So dumb girl thinks that by avoiding the link in my info I don't know she reads this, but.. everytime my page loads I got ya IP Address. ;]

Anyways,
I'm just max relaxin.

Last night we went over Jenna's and had an xbox tourny.
First it was WWE.. but.. the boys kinda excluded us after two matches.. even though I can say for myself that I was personally kicking ass.
So what if Kane's stamina decreases easily?!
We shut WWE off and played Tiger Woods for hours and hours.
Okay, I may have lost that game, but I wasn't too far behind. ;]
Haha, I used to kick ass as that game. I misss ittttt!

So it wasn't hard at all to get out of Justin that he bought me an iPod for christmas. he's so dumb. that boy has a lying face that I can catch a mile away.

Uhh.. yeah, I'm out.
I gotta take a shower.

Oh, I dyed my hair the other day.
Justin kept on touching me and kissing me and sayign how pretyt I looked. I was like, "you constantly say you hate black/dark hair and that girls are dumb when they dye their hair this color."
justin-"yeah but you look smokin' no matter what and it's hot on you."

pssshhttt.
anyways, i'm outtie.

:: 2006 13 November :: 8.08 pm

Dear Ashley,
I figured I'd let you know the real deal...
(Since you're dying over there.)

A couple days ago one of the girls I work with told me Cody came in Subway and asked if I was working and stuff.
I told Justin because I didn't want something to happen where Sarah ended up telling him and then it made me look bad like Cody comes in Subway all the time and we sit there and talk.
So.. I told him just to tell him the truth because I wasn't even working.
He was like, "I can't wait to tell whore sarah."
i said, "don't tell her you asshole."
he said, "yeah i have to, i have to, i'm just telling you so you know ahead of time."
i tried to talk him out of it but he has to rub it in that shes a whore who gets cheated on.

well,
he calls me at work today and he's like,
"i have to tell you all this before whore sarah does."
i'm like, "ugh, what? you told her, why the fuck did you tell her?"
plus, i like to keep things from her cause that way i have power over her that she doesn't even know about cause she always thinks she can have my life.

he said he told her and so she got pissed and says to cody, "i don't care i fuck bubby every day. he is walking to my house today."
he said the fucking her every day was definitely a lie and the walking to her a house was a joke because she was saying things to him on aol, asking him if he misses her and if he still loves her.
and then she told him to do me and just because we all know she's a whore he started fuckign with her so we could read the conversation later and laugh at her.
he has AIM Triton so all of his conversations are automatically saved and they cant be edited or anything.

so..
cody calls bubby asking him if it's true.
bubby was like, "no.. come over my house i want you to hear this."
so cody goes over and sarah is on justins phone saying things about telling me stories so i go into labor and that she wants to fuck up my life and stuff liek that.
so meanwhile, cody doesnt believe a word of the story.. he heard the truth.
so she calls back ad justin has cody answer.
she starts stuttering and blabbering and after her original story was tat justin was "walking to her house" to have sex with her, she changed it up and asks cody if justin still wants her to come pick him up.
i thought he was walking?

so she fucks up her story and that's done with.

then she goes on to IM me to my phone while i'm at work.
she says she needs to tell me something and i have to call her immediately.
i told her i already know the story, it's cool.

so she's sending me all these pathetic little things, freaking out, saying how i will never get to her and my boyfriend is easy and all this stuff. everything that she can think of because she's so mad that i actually have things she doesn't.
a million days a week i hear how jealous she is that im having a kid wth justin. why isn't she over it?

look, i care about cody a lot.
i think about the fact that him and justin don't talk anymore a lot.
it hurts my feelings that i fucked him over for one of his good friends and it also hurts my feelings that he was vulnerable to fall for sarah's act when she said she wanted to be with him, but not to get back at me.
i always get hurt feelings for other people.
i don't want to be with him, i just want him to be happy.
i want him to be friends with justin again. i want justin to be friends with him again. they were close.

even though we've moved on it gets so hard to just walk away.*
--it's hard to just completely drop someone out of your life forever.
..and i guess that's where sarah's coming from.
maybe she just hates to see justin happy after how bad he hurt her.
he left her for me and now we're moving away and she's never going to see him again. she just wants to mess things up for him, but i don't see why she has to be that way. i wish there was something i could do.

justin called me before i left work to tell me about these funny blogs sarah wrote.
one was about me and christina talking shit on her.
i was like, "psht, i didnt even talk to christina at tadd's house. me and becca were talking about her. becca was telling me how sarah was talking shit on me and hwo she didnt want to get in the middle of us because she's friends with both of us."
it said that no one was saying anything and in the middle of silence, i broke out and started saying, "sarah....."
which definitely wasnt true because most of the time we were talking about butt chins and the only time sarah was brought up was when me and becca were talking about her.

i just dont understand how upset she is makign herself over this.
and then why contradict yourself? you write blogs about beign crazy and having mental illnesses. you have admitted to taking several medicines to keep you sane.
..and then you're going to act like you're the only person making sense?

liz's favorite part of it was how in the real conversation between justin and sarah, she's asking if he misses her and loves her and when she says to do me and he starts fucking with her and then starts getting serious, she asks him why he doesnt want to be with her.
he says for one he has a girlfriend and also for the fact that he's having a kid with her and that's a big part of it.
somewhere down the line she asks about him selling her something. she says why even do that if he wants nothing to do with her. he said that was one time.
she changed the conversation up to say, "yeah you're having a kid but you fucked me."
like, why do things like that when i read the real conversation?

ugh. after this, me and justin deleted aol.
i've been talking about cutting ourselves out of the world but the truth is we haven't been trying hard enough.
we're saving money adn then moving out of pennsylvania.
this might be the last thing you hear from me.

thanks ashley, for listening. you love this crazy stuff.

:: 2006 12 November :: 11.26 pm

New Layout...
You likey?

Yeah, I'm a little bit obsessed with Desperate Housewives so I decided to make it my layout.
I think I might try to stretch the background image a little bit wider to fit the screen, though. I dunno.
Is it completely a bitch to read? I scaled down the color so it would be easier, but..

Anyways..
Today was Pete's birthday so after me and Justin left Josh & Cassie's, we went to McDonald's and then I dropped him off and headed for my house.
There was cake there and we sang happy birthday.
I wasn't hungry for food-food, really, because Cassie made me a huge salad. Haha..
Hurt feelings:
When I left, I gave my mom a hug and she said I should go back in and give dad one, so I did, and then she told me later that right before we walked out the door, wehn I was out by my car, before I gave either of them a hug, that he didn't think I was going to come out tonight for his birthday and that it was the best birthday present he got.
I started to cry. =(
He always used to tell me when I was little that I would appreciate him when I got older. I always ALWAYS said "yeah right, I hate you."
But now.. I actually do.
and I don't know if a lot of his parenting was alwyas rght, but whatever it was, something along the way was done right because I turned out really good and I pray that my kids will be brought up like I was... to have a heart for people and to use my head.

The most important thing is that he is right behind me through all of this and I have his support and that means more to me than anything.
Him accepting this was the last thing I thought would happen and he doesn't know how grateful I am of that.

Ugh.
Enough with the mushy stuf.

Justin is playing Tony Hawk and it's annoying. The sound effects are getting on my nerves and I'm about to scream.

On that note.. I think i'm out.

:: 2006 12 November :: 2.28 pm

Wait... Actually...
i DO have a little somethin for yins that won't get no one in trouble with other people.
Becca told me that she saw Bishop the other night and Bishop told her I write all kidns of things in here about how Becca talks shit on her.
I was like, "whaaa??"
I was like, "Dude, that's so gay. Why would I tell her things that you say about her?"
I mean, obviously that makes sense on some level because like I said before, it's fun to rub shit in other people's faces when they think they're bad ass.
But.. not in cases like that. I don't really get my friends in trouble with people i know their friends with.
Gay? Yeah, I think so.
Just to make sure that gay Bishop couldn't misinterpret anything that I said and turn it around and be a bitch liek she always does, I came on here and checked shit out.
I went back to the log and read every single page that Bishop read and after not finding anything, I went back to the beginning and looked through every entry dating back to the beginning of September and there was NOT A WORD of Becca talking shit on Bishop.
Whatev.

But there's your gossip, bitches.

I'll throw you some more at a lata date.

:: 2006 12 November :: 2.19 pm

Updation Nation
Anonymous: update your woohu
me: uhh iokay
Anonymous: i like to read it
Anonymous: even though its not even juicy anymore
me: hahahah
me: i was thinking about shutting it down now that im a madre
Anonymous: haaha yeah!
Anonymous: MADRES DONT HAVE WOOHU'S
Anonymous: duh

Today's my step dad's birthday.
...That means I'm letting it slide that we're not working on the apt.
But next week--it's get to work time.

I can't wait to get a puppy for the apartment.
I am coaxing Justin into letting me keep Tubby there.
He says Tubby's cool.. but I don't think eh would like a litter box.
That's why I don't liek kitties.
I liek big dogs that eat kitties.
We might get a Saint Bernard. That would be sweet as fuck.

I would make it fuck bitches up.

I can't wait to upload pictures that I took last night.
Me and Mallory are "butties," so of course we always have to take a picture together.
Rebecca.. well.. she's my girl for real so we always have to take a pciture together.
and of course I ahd to take a pictre of her breaking it down while she was crunk.
I love that girl. I was with her a second ago and I miss her already.

I saw tons of people last night that I havent seen for a GOOD MINUTE.
Everyone wants to come to my shower. Haha.
..They'll be invited, for sure.
It will be a par-tay.

I do have juciness, but I'm keeping the drama to a limit.
Girls talk shit and that's cool because most of the time I just liek to rub it in other girl's faces but that's bitch. Haha, i'm keeping the gossip to a minimum for now. I'll talk shit later.

Peace, ya'll

:: 2006 10 November :: 11.42 am

Fergalicious Definition:
Welp.
Work at 1:00.

I'm doing alright.

I guess.

I hate to leave Tubby every day.

I guess I'm heading for the shower...

Oh, I did forget to mention that I was on my wya home from BOAR at a red light going to meet Justin at Wendy's and no one was moving after the light turned green (twice) so I got out of my car instead of beeping like the rest of the assholes behind me.
I walked to the front of the line of cars and knocked on this lady's window. She was about to cry when she told me her car wasn't working it and just shut off and everytime she put it in drive it went backwards. I took a look at her dashboard and saw she was overheated. SHe looked at me worried and told me she wasn't from around here and her husband wasn't in town.
I told her to stay there and motioned for the people behind me to pass us up. I ran to Val's to get the boys and they all helped to push her car off the side of the road onto a median.
Then.. I left with Justin.

Other than that, no excitement.

Something a little sad is that..
I was with Justin and someone and we drove past Branthoover Street, and Justin said something or other about him livng there and then he said something about Cody. It was so sad. He was like, "I used to be so cool with that kid..."
There's really no reason for them not to be, actually. It's just sad. They used to ride their little bikes from Arnold City to my house and we used to play, play, play. I loved those boys. They were a lot of fun. Justin made a reference to one time we played at my house about 3 years ago.. it was a few weeks ago he said it.. "I never really even go outside in the winter. Last time I played in teh snow was me and Cody at your house."
I lvoe my boyfriend. He just tries to act tough sometimes and I know he really has a heart in real life.

:: 2006 9 November :: 11.57 pm

t-t-t-TASTEY, TASTEY!
Ugh.
I'm so sick of things.

I just can't wait to move into my own apartment and just get away from everyone.
I finally think Sarah is out of my life and she finds a way to push herself back into it and I have NO clue how to just make her disappear.
She reads this all the time and thinks that just because she doesn't click the link in my info that I won't know. Well--wrong.
..and I just want this to all stop.

:: 2006 8 November :: 9.07 am

Wow. It's very flattering to know someone reads your page for over an hour.
..Clicking to read back entries and back entries.
November 5th was a busy day for someone! ;]
(and she says i have no life..)

Anyways,
I didn't tell you guys the story how I was at Subway when Leigh Ann and Lauren yell, "LISA! YOUR CAR!" I look out the window and my car is in the middle of 201.

I run out with my keys to move it, wondering what the fuck happened because the e-brake was still on.
I come back in and Lauren is like, "you'd better go check it, that man hit it!"
So I go out and check both sides, figuring someone must have hit it when it drifted to the middle of 201.
This little old lady comes up to me and says, "We're SO sorry! Do you want to exchange information and get our insurance?!" I'm like, "No, it's fine! I don't even know what happened!"
She says, "Well, he put it in drive instead of reverse and hit your car and off it went!!"
Some guy parked in front of me hit it and good thing it wasn't in first gear... becuase it would've dented it. Instead.. it just almost got side-schwacked!

I have to work today at 1:00..
Uggghh. That's okay. Who gets to wear sweatpants and a big comfy tee to work and talk to old people about their lives??

Liz is probably applying at Subway. It will be way cool to work with her.

Other than that... nothing new, really.
I forgot when my next doctor's appointment is and I finally found the paper that says November 28th. I'm excited for this one. This one is an important one!!!!!!!!! =D

Liz and I ususally jam out to Fergalicious!!, but I think she broke my computer. I was so mad at her yuesterday.
She has her own and she broke that one and instead of using my moms, I was talked into letting her use mine since I'm never home. So we moved it up to her room adn now I notive all these problems with it. I'm probably going to just save everything to a disk and reboot it when I get it moved into my apartment.

Hmm.. what else?
Me and Justin have our own special savgins account and it went through yesterday, so I'm psyched.
I'm also pretty happy that my credit card application was accepted and I got it in the mail a couple days ago.
=)

But.. I'm out

:: 2006 6 November :: 10.50 am

here they come to rock your body all night
I love this CD.
Kris hates it and Justin said it would be weird, but I fell in love with it the first time he played it for me.
I just like Claudio Sanchez.

Yesterday, I spent pretty much the whole day at my mom's with my family. It sucks to be away from bub, but it's nice to get our time apart. I love when he calls asking when I'm coming home and says he misses me. =)
Me and my brother went and looked at the apartment and measured it.
I went home with the measurements and made Pete make me a layout so I can start designing.
He made a layout that I absolutely loved but it would't work because there is already plumbing in where we were going to make my closet. Sooo.. it has to stay a bathroom.
I went home and talked to Justin and John Mike and came up with a really nice idea!
I can't wait to show my mom and ask her what she thinks of it.
I wanna start on it right now!
I don't have any money though, so my mommy and pap are gonna have to help =/

I started Chub's scarf but it's been a while since I've crocheted.
I feel like I'm getting nowhere becuase I keep skipping lines and have to rip 'em out.

My belly button has started hurting really bad. My mom said it might be from when I had it pierced and the scar tissue might be ripping. Ew.
I am kinda getting fat. I look like a chubber.
I'm still wearing a size 1 though.
and Liz said people won't think I'm fat because I still have super skinny arms and legs and my face isn't getting chubby. So.. I guess that's a good thing.

Yesterday me and Justin were talking about chins because he's really picky about chins and he always says bad things abut girls, "she's a bill cower," "she has a butt chin," "her chin is smashed,"
I told him my chin might be a little bit of a butt but I have nice eyes. ;)
I was like, "I will admit I have an ugly nose and my thighs are thick to fit my fat ass, but I don't care what Sarah says... I really don't have big eyes at all." and he laughed and smacked my ass.
I don't care how immature we are, we talk about things together that we would never tell anyone else.

I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't fall back asleep.
I looked over at him adn as soonas I did so, he opened his eyes and said he was wide awake, too.
We sat up and giggled for a few hours until Ape yelled down the steps at us to be quiet.
We wtahced a bunch of Fresh Prince of Bel Air. (one of my favvvv showsssss!)

I don't remember what time it was when I told him it was time for sleep and I shut off the t.v.

1 Comment | Comment me!!

:: 2006 4 November :: 12.07 pm

Just being bored...
We just got back from breakfast at Eat n Park.
Mmm..

Justin is getting ready for his tattoo appointment.
But today, I'm not going.
He is going with Justin Tatsch and Mav because I was supposed to work but I didn't go.
He woke me up at 9:30 this mroning when I had to be at Subway at 9:00.
Oh well, I am quitting there pretty soon anyways.
Why wouldn't I work for the place that is paying me more money?

Soo.. actually I could go to the tattoo shop today but I just don't feel like spending the day sitting down there for six, seven hours.

I am going to go over my mom's when Justin leaves.
First, I think I might stop at Wal-Mart and buy some yarn because I am going to start crocheting Chubby's christmas present.
I am excited about it. I think I mgiht forget how to do it, so my mom is probably gonna have to remind me.

I remember one Christmas like three years ago I was going to make Justin a red blanket. haha.
This year I don't know what to get him but I think I already know I'm buying a robe.
I told him I'd get his name on it. haha.

Ehh.. I'm bored but I think I'm gonna go.

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