am i correct to defend the fist that holds this pen?

:: 2004 31 March :: 3.24pm
:: Mood: my head will implode soon..
:: Music: Miserable

i get lost in the voices of yesterday as they clamor in shrieks and whispers inside my head
we got a white volvo S60 yesterday. its a stick shift. i will have so much fun learning on that sucker.

hmm. i think my head is going to explode. well, i dont know for certain, but it sure does feel that way. its ok though. i'll get over it.

today at school. in a word: headache. all day man. my voice sounds funny. anyways, much homework, so thanks to all my teachers. oh! report cards came in the mail. take a gander:

ceramics/pottery - smith : A-
draw I/draw II - roeder : B+
english hon I - greene : A-
algebra II hon - bode : B
band - daniels & bennett : A+
ap biology - freis : A- BOO-YA!
business systems & tech - lefort : A+

oh yes.

um. here is something to laugh at. i was hurting myself all day. i have a bruise on my arm from a white board. i tripped over a chair. i am a pirate. stubs is a swashbuckler. and a deck-swabber. HA. that is way cool.

i like the song im listening to.
"stuck to a chair, watchin this story about me
everything goes by so fast, makin my head spin
used up all of my friends, who needs them
when you mean everything?"

4 comment | leave comment

:: 2004 30 March :: 10.43am
:: Mood: icky
:: Music: anthem part two - blink 182

lost in a woven idea's thinning rivulets
well, as you can see, i have changed my journal layout yet again.

here is my story for today:
went to school for 2 periods, and then got called down to the attendance office so my mom can take me to my doctor's appointment.
i have an upper respiratorial viral infection. and kinda congested too. i get to take some tylenol and then it will make me all better.
we went to the bagel factory afterwards and i got a chocolate chip bagel.
now i am home for the rest of the day.

ha.

6 comment | leave comment

Rina	:: 2004 29 March :: 2.23pm :: Mood: sick :: Music: Thursday sinking slowly into the midnight sky i felt yucky and sick today. no school for me. leave comment

:: 2004 28 March :: 11.36am
:: Mood: rah
:: Music: dangerous - ghost of the robot

fall away in velvet whipers
here we go:
the assembly wasnt about sex. to be honest, i dont know what the hell it was about. the only thing i learned is to not sell strawberries for a living.

i had to babysit connor on friday. woo got thirty bucks.

saturday rolled around. this is the day i get to help out at the center, because there are students trying out for visual arts. oooh man. it was so much fun. hey, did you know that school coffee sucks? i mean, its drinkable, but.. i wouldnt suggest it.

I AM A PIRATE!!!

hahahahahaha lmao good times. dude. me and carolyn saw mark barron. what a little monkey. he is skipping 9th grade. come and help me strangle him.
and holy crap. the senior show is freaking awesome! you should run, jump, and skip yourselves over there.

i went to barnes and noble with chelsea and sydney. i had my frappuchino (yum), sydney had hers, and chelsea got the iced caramel macchiatto. ooo i wouldve gotten that.
bought some books, and then went over to syd's house. ahhhh, sydney's computer is slow, but we waited. all for the sake of james.

if you are not already reading it, then go and buy the da vinci code. it is the best book i have read.

2 comment | leave comment

:: 2004 25 March :: 2.56pm
:: Mood: blaaaaah.
:: Music: life for rent - dido

your words linger in this darkened room like a faded star
wow, do i hate biology or what. i get to describe how the five-kingdom system is connected to all 55 chapters of my biology book. either save me, or put me out of my misery.

oh man. we had an assembly yesterday. it was cool. but depressing. a man with hooks for hands and prosthetic legs was talking to us. i felt bad for him.

tomorrow we have an assembly about sex education. what fun.

sigh.

i think i might change my journal layout again. im trying to find a good background for an icon i made. i'll make a background myself if push comes to shove though. hm.

oh! and i am filled with happiness at ghost of the robot making a new cd. it will be called gods of the radio :) woo.

:: 2004 24 March :: 10.38pm
:: Mood: *sigh*

Just wanted to let the ppl who read my journal that what i write is just me trying to reason things out, reflect on things, vent...vent some more, and write what i feel at the moment i write it. Im not trying to offend any one and i dont mention names if i complain.....u know u have complained about ppl before....

these are just my thoughts and me trying to deal with stuff and try to be sane while being exposed to so much insantiy. remember, what i write in my journal is just me talking to my self trying to reason stuff out...i just go on and on and on about stupid stuff sometimes...thats just me trying to figure out what my feelings are...i cant work things out in my head i just have to reason with myself by writing it....i promise im not crazy ^_^

we all have our moments

sry to anyone who took anything i said the wrong way

much love YO

LaTeRz....

here are some cool thingys...Be EnTeRTaInEd go to these AwSoMe sites!

http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/robotdance.html

http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/kittycat.php

:: 2004 23 March :: 2.36pm
:: Mood: Pissed!

ARRRG!!
Ok....i hate my stupid dad! I dont know what his problem is! He is being an asshole for NO reason. I just got home, walked in my room and there was a huge pile of stuff in the middle of the floor. This used to be under my bed and on my desk and he decided to take everything and put it in the middle of my room....did i mention he turned over the trash can as well?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS DAMN PROBLEM?????? For the past week hes been such a fucking jerk to me! I have no idea what i did to deserve this! He said something about me not respecting him but i dont see how i dont respect him....and he expects me to be all happy and nice to him when he is being a fucking idiot?? YEAH RIGHT!! OMG I HATE HIM!! AHHHHHH!!!!

On a more happy note....today was not that bad. I had fun talking to sam, chris, and julie so all is good...oh i forgot bradLY ha ha ha what a dork.

Julie is going to X-fest with me...YAY! I couldn't go unless someone went with me so im all happy now! :)

Josh and Tony might hang out with us after prom......i really want him to go...Josh more than Tony. Had a real long talk with Josh the other day....it was great...i really like talking to him....alot. But at the same time i hate it b/c i just end up liking him....more....

Why is that? Does he have to be so.....great?? oh man oh man oh man. i can't help it and i'll shut up now :)

.....im suffering from snog withdrawl.....kissing deprivation....ever had that? Where u just need to kiss someone b/c u've been deprived for a while and u just...yeah ok so im a loser what else is new? I wonder if Josh will cure me? I doubt he would even if there was going to be nothing attached to it. oh well so goes life for the single. This blows! alright....im bored now and i think im going to leave and buy the tickets......

Later!

1 comment | leave comment

:: 2004 23 March :: 2.52pm
:: Mood: blah.
:: Music: basketcase - green day

forever wandering the winding trail of imagination
i. hate. school.

i was looking at my chicken sandwich today. and i realized how everything is the same. every day. i have the same teachers, the same seats, see the same people, have the same conversations, have the same lunch. even have the same amount of boring, monotonous crap.

i came back to the same place. where everything is like a routine. i walk to my classes the same way ive always done. i get to my classes at the same time. i feel the same feeling of dread.

why cant just one thing change? just the slightest, tiniest little change. maybe i'd look forward to school then.

but sydney wrote me a note. so my day is 3215698793 times more improved.

more essays to do.

2 comment | leave comment

:: 2004 20 March :: 12.46pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: lost prophets

there seem a strange stillness to everything, as the evening wears into night
ok.

i wrote a poem that i really like, so i thought id put it up here.

"garden"
you can find me in a dark and fragrant garden,
where roses grow wild and lavendar sings
where all you can hear is the soft wind
but can feel the humming of another time
i walk upon this beaten path
where flowers wind their way at my feet
and i can feel you with me
like the stars' light
with every sigh of branches and all the bluebells' rings
you are here with me
the breeze whispers your name
like the kiss of a falling leaf
and as i lay into the midnight sky
like the silent breath of fog
i can taste your presence
with all my being i walk in you
my feet grazing the dew covered grass
and my footprints forever imprinting your heart.

alright. lets move on to some more interesting things...
im going to lissa's house today. (;
i still have a bunch of homework to finish though. so when i get back to school i will be majorly screwed. ha. ha.

3 comment | leave comment

:: 2004 18 March :: 7.49pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: a mix....Fuel

ok so what was my last entry about?
eh whatever.

Yesterday i got in a car accident. Rear ended a minvan...but not really my fault but whatever. The damage isn't that bad, it can be fixed. Got a ticket for reckless driving...stupid cop...should have been careless but nooooo hes a dick head. dumb po po! I'll live and so will my parents. They weren't all mad or anything which is cool beans for me! :) I think its awsome b/c their philosophy is shit happens and they are just glad im ok so yay.

Josh is a nice guy...i think im begining to forgive him for being an asshole. I mean u can't hold a grudge for ever just b/c a guy can't see past one of ur flaws, right? I'd really like to hang out with him and his bro again. I think he is so great and funny and stuff but i dont know why he said what he said. I thought he was a little more mature than that. He expects me to be more mature.....i mean he thinks i am, but im just lost. Does this mean he respects me more or what? I can't figure this guy out. Im trying but to no avail. I really like talking to him though b/c hes not some dumb jock type guy who has nothing interesting to say. Hes a smart guy and yeah. I can talk to him and its great....i dont have to be someone im not or stop and explain what " schizophrenic paranoia" is. Not that i sit around and talk about that particular topic but hey its a point im trying to get across. I just want to know what his deal is....he is indecisive and clueless. I mean we rarely talk anymore...just now and then but whatever. Despite everything that has happend, i still wanna hang with him b/c # 1....im stupid....and #2 i think hes cooler than beans...but and idiot who is cooler than beans. I think he just needs to figure himself out. i hope he reads this and hopefully will understand where i am comming from and still talks to me......

ok... so anyway, back to the other topic....I just can't talk to some ppl b/c their vocab isn't on the same level as mine and i feel like i have to act less smart around them. Ok i know that sounds really horrible but think about it.I always tend to be the logical/reasonable one in the group. one of my friends, who is a year older than me(almost 19) writes me notes in school and can't spell half of the things right. I mean come on ppl! Not to be mean or anything but i swear my IQ drops a few points when i hang with her for a long period of time. I swear i should be brunette and most of my friends should be blonde...i just got screwed over with the whole being Swedish and having blonde hair. I think its a sick joke.....oh well....

g2g later....care to leave a comment by poking the monkey??

1 comment | leave comment

:: 2004 17 March :: 10.04pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Suite from 'Restless'

feel the sun like daggers of flame
ok. changed the layout. you like?

hmm.. interesting day today. me and lisa were going to go to the beach. because, i got a new swimsuit and we wanted to look less vampire-ish and tan ourselves. well, we got in an accident. yea, it sucks. there was a minivan in front of us that stopped short and we didnt have very much time to brake. screeeeeech.. pow. it was a fender-bender. i just got a little freaked. and had some whiplash.
we pulled over to the side with the lady. she was british. another 10 minutes. screeeech pow. a crash in the same place. of all the damned luck. woo. man, that spot is cursed. they had more of a fender bender though.
anyways, we were stuck with an $80 fine for wreckless driving. dont ask me why. that cop was an ass.

more biology fun.

happy st. pat's everyone. go out to your local pub and drink. :)

:: 2004 16 March :: 6.04pm
:: Mood: tired and angry
:: Music: Sic Transit Gloria - Brand New

kiss the rain through a blanket of pastels
biology should be a sin in itself.
the very mention of the word should be enough to drive a human insane and wish for better things to come.
or, ms freis shall internally combust and then be sent to live in the eternal flames.

let me suffer and die in silence.

well. i saw secret window twice this weekend. but its ok because that is one freaking awesome movie. i also saw starsky and hutch haha. johnny and owen are the shit (;

i shall be confined to my room for the rest of break to continue my endless work of that-which-shall-not-be-named. (refer to top paragraph)

:: 2004 11 March :: 10.17pm
:: Mood: whatever?
:: Music: burn, burn - lost prophets

dance upon the rainbow clouds
oh-my-god-youre-gorgeous!

whoa. good fun in school these past.. two days. and everyday of this week has felt like a friday. its like i mentally go through one school week in a day. weird.

on wednesday i felt like i was 5. i seriously wanted to just slam my books on the ground and throw a tantrum. but i didnt. which is good.

me, car, carrie, and alison all have a lethal fascination with A1 steak sauce. wooo what fun :)

i know i should write a lot more. but as it happens, i am quite the tired one. i guess going to bed at 11:30 isnt good for waking up in the morning hahaha. oh man. ever since ana said it, every time i look at this bunny from the still life we have to draw, i think of it. the first day she said 'wow- that is a hot bunny. you should totally draw it.' i dont know why i think of it though lmao.

ooohhh man. oh man oh man oh man. tomorrow is the last day of school before spring break!! woot!! i can not wait!
.. even if i do have a biology project. darn you, ms freis.

i went to target today. and publix. publix is cool, and you know it. did you know you can buy flip-flops there in the summertime?
you wish you were awesome enough to work there.

hmm.. i wrote a poem that i am actually fond of :)
"Dreams"
Follow me through crashing stars
hold my hand; never let it go
stay with me, your soft soft voice

Lets find our way
through the thickening fog
hold me forever in stormy eyes

Feel the smoothing colors
in the deepening rain
give my lips a little secret

Take me with you
forever in the frozen glory
tell me in the way of rainbows

Taste the grace of dreams
of a place like Neverland
forget anything but you.

2 comment | leave comment

:: 2004 11 March :: 3.30pm
:: Mood: indifferent
:: Music: the radio in my head once again......

Yeah I'm bored. I want to talk to Ian but im too chicken to call him. Sam thinks im stupid. I think shes umm....special.

Found out something interesting about Josh......oh how he likes to play with ones' emotions.

Jerk.

I might call Ian tonight....hes way nicer than Josh.

Later......

....and suddenly im painfully bored