dreams
the dreams are somehow ... the most horrible thing... i like them so fuckin much.. but its not guna happen so i wake up, reliazing its not reality. today i woke up and thought i was in someone elses bed.. then i realized i was still in mine, and my heart dropped.. i want to be in that bed.. arrghh... in the dream its so clear.. im right there.. and i hate it more then anything..::sigh:: its never guna happen... only in my dreams..

its as if you know me better then myself.. i love how you can tell all the pieces of me..

hmm
and i love to kiss you in the rain..

hm.. i think it makes a little sense.. but im not guna look to far into this shit, bc then hopes can grow and then im hurt.. which isnt aloud to happen right? hmph

man.... summer.....

theres this little kid sittin behind me and i have no idea who he is.. oh well.. hope my cat bites him! ah ha im a bitch.

my dream..
--->she<--- was takinh me home... and he called her insted of me.. and i saw it in her eyes that she wanted him... and i got mad.. and she felt so bad, but i didnt care..
i was walkin away from her house.. and he was coming around the corner to see her... but he saw me first... he saw me crying and he knew right then it was the end. i hated him, i wanted him to go away.. and he runs to me, and trys to hug me and i push him off of me.. and i try to run away.. he chases me.. all the while crying... and i finally stop and ask him why he did this to me and hes says hes sorry and he loves me and i screamed at him.. told him he was a liar and i hated him for it.. and im running down this street and here comes the other one.. and they are both tryin to get me. and one threw a bottle at me, and i had a bottle in my hand and they hit and the bottles broke all over me, and im now covered and glass.. and hes scream that hes so sorry and that he loves me, and never wanted to hurt me.. and i told him he succeded in that, and i ran up to the house i was standing in the front of and asked them if i could use there shower and this lady is sayin yes of course dear, are you okay? and asking me all these questions and im tellin her im fine and i only want to take a shower.. and then i am i -->her<-- house again, and shes telling me shes sorry and that she doesnt want our friendship to end, but i told her i didnt care and i could give a shit about her, and i hope shes happy with what happened, and im walking out of her house and there he is.. with flowers.. and he puts them behind his back.. and im walking past him and he trys to hand them to me, i tell him to fuck off, and that i dont care about him anymore, and he tells me hes sry and trys to run up to me, but i turned around and smacked him across the face and he looks at me like hes really hurt.. and i wake up......


im not in a good mood... i went to bed in a bad mood.. shit like that never changes..

im sick of waiting... im sick of hearing all these words that never meant..anything..


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