long time no write
hey there well im at ashs hosue,just woke up..havent writen in a really long time.. nothing i really wana tell the world.. I have alot of stuff goin on.. like the semi realtionship im in.. i love it.. he means alot to me.. i mean wow.. but hes alot like Jeremy, which is sorta scary but im gettin over it.. even tho for the past 2 night ive had a dream about Jeremy-why im up and not sleeping- it .i dont know what it means.. this so sucks.. oh well what can I do.. well as many ppl know i was counting days since something.. and now im sorta not, i got up to 76 days.. It was great.. i got my report card this week... i did alot better then usual..Yesterday, i went to help out at church.. ash and Lee came wit me. then dave came and got us.. they were bein assholes the entire time we were in the mall, but what can we do? they like swore that it was all us, but w/e i guess.. My sister was down last weekend.. my mom told me that Im gettin a tattoo.. And i think im deciding i dont wana go to the Yellowcard concert.. seems sorta pointless.. hmm, idk. Lee wants me to skip tomorrow so i can see him bc he dont work tomorrow..idk what ima do.. i think ima go tho.. xox

fuck me
why do i always do this shit? the same fuckin shit over and over again.. fuck the fucking world.

did you say carrot?
we just got back
from walking to winndixie and dunkin dounts
how fun.
actually it was..
thats why we are so freakin cool..
anyways.. i was singing and dancing all the way there.. i swear i am psycho.. NEWHOOS.. my sisters down.. sadly.. blah, i guess il get over it.. they are going to a wedding later today.. at like 4? but they are leaving wayyy b4 that.. well thast not the headlingin point of my journal.. actually i dont have one.. ha. im cool. well last night i came to Ashs house((MY BAYBUH!!!)) and Brad ( :o) ) came over and then David got back from La(yay!!!) But now hes all mad at me.. oh well anyways..and i was talking to Erick online.. and finally convinced him to come over!!!(YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) i MISSed my Erick.. i <3 him.. b4 that, Brad asked me out:o) haha. then that when erick got here. i hung out with Erick all night, and ate mashed food. that ashley made me yumm!!! nad then i went to sleep, well first i talked to lee, bc i heart him. and then i went to bed. then i woke up this mornign and me and ash walked to eat more food and i called my mommy and my sisters at the hosue-poo- and im not gettin my tattoo today.. fuckers.. i wanted to really bad, that blows me. anyways.. idk what iam do todya, i really cant do anything bc my moms leaving.. but tomorrow, lee called me for about 5 ish hours, if i can go out, whic i hope i can bc otherwise hell kill me.. dvae and ash might hang out if he stops being an asshole. doubtful. then i have 2 projects i have due.. that i havent done.. mind you.. that are due monday.. so i need to go and do it, ill write later, xoxo

blah..
Hey guys... depressing day..its the 24th.. not a good day.. But last night was awesome.. I was with Brad:oD hehe.. I want one so bad lol... Lees friend died.. i feel so bad, i dont know what to tell him? or talk to him about.. hope he knows i *heart* him. much love to ya babe.. I told dave that he was my big bro this morning.. it was to cute bc then i texted him and hes like whats up sis? it was so cute, i swear, i love that kid.. as much as i argue with that kid, hes like the best, even tho hes an ass sometimes, hes still there when i need him... hes a def. baller! haha !!! well anyways.. i felt abd for ash last night bc she sat there and like watched me and Brad make out.. but she was really (( i mean really)) hyper.. she was like dancin nd shit, and she looked lke she was given the bottle head haha , i love her! well ima go xoox 1
even tho i know.. i dont wana know.. yeah i guess i know. i just hate how it sounds.. even tho i know.. i dont wana kno.. yeha i guess i know.. i just hate how it sounds..

:o(
Losing My Grip - (3:55)
Another night follows the day
like a child does to it's mother
and everywhere I look I see your face
on the face of others
and I can't escape the pain

All the questions I went through
I never told myself the truth
I turned my back on you and me
because I was scared to see
that we weren't who we used to be

So now I'm
trying hard to let go
let you go
but I can't seem to loosen my grip
trying hard to let go
let you go
let you go, go

I feel an emptiness inside
a part of me already died
when I pretended to go on
like everything's ok
when all we built began to fall
as I began to lose it all
I shut my eyes to set me free
cause I was scared to see
that we weren't who we used to be

So now I'm
trying hard to let go
let you go
but I can't seem to loosen my grip
trying hard to let go
let you go
let you go, go

You're all that I ever wanted
you're everything that I need
but now it's finally over
time for goodbyes
I needed

So now I'm
trying hard to let go
let you go
but I can't seem to loosen by grip
trying hard to let go
let you go
let you go, go

I'm trying hard to let go
(let you go)
let you go, go