ive been thinking..
well..
..... im not sure.. I..okay there are 2 ppl.. Brad and Lee.. I like Brad, and as most know i want a relationship.. and he would be the one i would want it with.. But Lee is such a reminder of Jeremy that i want him too.. But i dont know what i WANT...
I want a realtionship, i want one that goes on for longer then a month.. i dont see the point in those anymore.. and then Jeremy..i know this time he isnt coming back...:( better for me.. but its soo hard...i miss him talkin to me at night.. and holding me.. and as many times as i try and tell myself that i didnt really love him.. it gets harder and harder to let him go.. but hes gone now. hes no longer here.. and i can have something better.. anything can be better then him.. it has to be.. bc i know thats not what love is supposed to be.. ... ::sigh:: he was there.. with my dad.. i need him there.. i need him back.. but i cant i have to have somebody that can be there with me, not for me.. i want a boyfriend that cares.. and i know how i want bc it wouldnt be changing who he is. and its not Jeremy.. But its not Lee either..ugh im so confused.. i dont even think Brad likes me. So i guess im giving up?i think?

;o)
Last Cigarette:: never
Last Alcoholic Drink:: maybe a month ago?
Last Car Ride:: 20 mins ago when ash was driving
Last Kiss:: um.. wed
Last Good Cry:: wed
Last Library Book checked out:: I don't really check out books...I buy them
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:: secret window
Last Book Read:: where the heart is
Last Movie Rented:: anger management
Last Cuss Word Uttered:: who knows...
Last Beverage Drank:: a strawberry delight
Last Food Consumed:: a burger
Last Crush:: umm,, Im not really sure at this point
Last Phone Call:: Brian
Last TV Show Watched:: Dawsons creek
Last Time Showered:: yesterday
Last Shoes Worn:: black sandals
Last CD Played:: blink 182
Last Item Bought:: food
Last Download:: yellowcard
Last Annoyance:: boys
Last Disappointment:: oh I'm always disappointed. sigh.
Last Soda Drank:: pepsi
Last Thing Written:: I guess my journal
Last Key Used:: the one to get into the bathroom here at work
Last Word Spoken:: Hell
Last Sleep:: 3 hrs ago
Last IM:: to brian
Last Sexual Fantasy:: cant say i had one?
Last Weird Encounter:: ...?
Last Ice Cream Eaten:: chocolate?
Last Time Amused:: I'm ALWAYS amused
Last Time Wanting To Die:: earlier today
Last Time In Love:: now..
Last Time Hugged:: a few mins ago
Last Time Scolded:: last night for waking up my mom
Last Time Resentful:: I..don't recall.
Last Chair Sat In:: this comfy rolly one..
Last Lipstick Used:: dun use lipstick
Last Underwear Worn:: the ones im in now?
Last Bra Worn:: the one im wearing now
Last Shirt Worn:: a white one ..now?
Last Webpage Visited:: this one

Im a fuckin baller!
HEy!!! well last night i, brittany lynn gandee, won Yellowcard tickets!!!! I had been tryin to get them since 1130am and i got them at 1030!!!!!! im so fucking happy. im like in love with Yellowcard, and..like omg!!!! i was so happy we were all jumping up and down and shit.. anyways.. depending on how many tickets they give me, i def. know im bringing ash.. and if they give us 3, doubtful, im talking Brian, i already talked to ash about that one..
But wow.. its really early man,,, 730?? on spring break? wtf is this?? Idk man.. Im goin to ashs baton comp... ballerific ..anywas, so i guess il be home later... but I saw ashs friend brian yesterday.. and he stupid ugly friend tried callin me a hoe, and got ppl called on his ass.. hmm.. wonderment..my sister left yesterday.. she'll be back next weekend tho man.. fuck that shit! wow.. im hungry.. blah.. lets see what else happened yesterday? OH!! i have 3 projects due between my 2 english classes.. and i have almost done one of them.. 20 poemsall prettyed nd shit... yup i actually did my homework.. mircale.. anyways, ima go.. 0x0x
1
<3 2 ash, brian, david b, and dave!

lmfao!

You are a Summer Kiss! You love showin your boy
off... especially when you both can chill
outside with your shirts off...


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