:: 2005 12 July :: 12.05 am

work was pretty cool once again. i meet more people and get to know more people every day which makes it totally cooler, there is a new manager, lisa i like her because she is down there are the employee level she sits in the break room and smokes, she stands outside after work and talks to us, she is nice, she is a people person, she doesnt treat me like a piss-on, my kind of people. outside of that the day was good. did some fun stuff. slept, watched some telly. now im effing tired and should probably sleep a little. well okay then. later. and loves. oh wait first ill eat a bagel. mmm. bagel.

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:: 2005 11 July :: 3.36 am

so i woke up now here at 337 and i was thirsty, so i drank some coke and then I was thirsty and had a stomachache, so now im drinking some diet dr thunder which is okay, but really i just want to go back to sleep because the sooner i sleep the sooner i see pj. but gawd i am tired. and dying maybe. gah. well my loves back to sleep, and ive got some full house on the telly, bah.

5 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 10 July :: 9.55 pm

well shoot, its been a long couple of days, so glad the week is over and that a new week is about to start. i cannot take this place anymore.
trust is good. having trust as the foundation is what makes a relationship work and im really pissed off at myself for letting the foundation crack. im so much tired
i want to talk to pj.
im loving my new job.
its tiring but good.
its nice to be able to work and not dread going there.
and to make money, i get like nine hour shifts on sunday and on sundays you get $10 an hour.
more than usual, kick some ass
so im going to buy a sweatshirt, the second season of sex and the city
yeah having money is cool.
other than that there is nothing going on that i care to divulge to my viewing audience. love then

3 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 9 July :: 3.38 pm

ahh get figured out, find the answers. FIX THIS!!!!! right now. I cannot take it and I cannot question you or myself. it is too hard questioning everything maybe we would be better if you would have never told me about the lying because it is what bothers me the most it questions EVERYTHING. I love you though so it will all work out, it has too.

6 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 9 July :: 12.00 am

gah im tired
work is cool
im a little actually a lot irritated but you know what, whatever.
i dont even know what to do, what to say to make you see where im coming from, obviously as I have said our priorities are different.
what do you expect from me, to sit back and not say anything, I thought you changed and that you realized that you screwed up and were going to do something about it, so much for thinking huh.
Im kinda eh about this post as if I should say it to you but you get mad, and I get frustrated, screw it.

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:: 2005 6 July :: 11.39 am

so here I am. I just went to the dentist and I totally hate that place. so now I have to go back next monday because I dont floss enough or something. which super sucks.
but besides that Im okay.
a little irritated by my parents because they tell me "dont let love make you oblivious" and I say Im not and my dad says "look at the history and tell me how far fetched it is"
so that brings us to would I let someone lie to me and not know it even though I know it. does that make sense. either way I guess its one of those things that we can discuss and either way I will succumb and I will be okay as always. and we will be okay because love conquers all am I completely correct or what. not to mention that I completely refuse to throw away happiness and so once again I dont care what you parents think. I mean I care but ultimately its me who matters.
im just thinking back again to when it was raining and you rubbed my shoulders a little and how much that meant. something so small and seemingly insifnificant can touch me so deeply and make me feel forever that I am not alone and I will always have you to help me and make me be a better person. eek gads I say when I fall so hard.
I love you. and thats all i can think about. you stinking boy that is my entire world. stink on you.
okay really thats all the silly love rambling for the day.




by the way kelly its the silly rambling giddiness that makes girls as nice as they are. duh.

1 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 5 July :: 12.25 am

well today my pj and I went to michigans adventures. it was the coolness. I love him, so much. im sure i had a ton of things to say but they all got caught off because of wetzels post. see the thing is that i know nothing about history or politics. I dont know if the war is meaningful or if someone has weapons or if our president should be bush or gore. I am the perfect example of ignorance in the american world i know only what my environment tells me and I challenge nothing. Ive tried but none of it really catches my attention or even registers. so I wont pretend to be all knowledgeable, hell I dont even what isolationism is, the name kinda clues me in but the point here is that whatever the political view or what is or isnt right explain to me what being a "faggot" has to do with it. Why anyone would post like that on someones journal. especially anonymously. So I guess the question of the day would be, which ignorance is worse. political or social? and if you had to choose would you take prejudice or patriotism? frankly i think the world would be better if these people who had things to say could express them in a format that first of all is even slightly relevant, and second of all is well thought out. Like phil his response was completely appropriate and not at all offensive. Good Game Phil. okay thats all I have got. that anonymous really irked me. a lot. well loves.

1 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 2 July :: 10.49 am

my computer is being teh screwy, and thats about all I have got right about now. i love you pj.

7 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 29 June :: 3.07 pm

do not talk to me. you dont like me at all and I like you less every time you come around. every time that you say something offensive about him. you might be disapointed and not agree with what he does but its called support its what you give to the people that you love.
maybe he'd talk to you more if you would show some.
GOD!

2 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 29 June :: 2.13 pm

sometimes I just like to put on my pearls and vaccuum like June Cleaver.

Shes a very idealistic woman that June.
Exactly how I wish I could be.
well if nothing else at least ive got the pearls covered.

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:: 2005 29 June :: 1.34 pm

gahh. thats about how i feel. so tired. i really want to see pj. really really. thats about it.

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:: 2005 29 June :: 9.51 am

hey lindsey my email is imcomplaining@hotmail.com
throw some details my way would you.
always good for a giggle.



besides that the new job is pretty cool. the people are nice. only after closing last night these ladies had some stuff that they needed checked out and they went through the ladies lane that i was training from and they had fireworks under the basket and their baby was sleeping on a bunch of jeans so the lady was like okay thats it and ruthann who was training me, says well do you want those fireworks, and the lady was like no, so then she saw the jeans and said what about those jeans and the lady said no but my baby is sleeping on them. so i had to follow the lady out to the parking lot to get the jeans and the whole way she was like that stupid bitch thought i was fucking stealing blah blah blah. and like super pissed and i was like well what would think dumbass. it was pretty scary though because there were three ladies and they all tried the same trick with the fireworks under the basket they each went to a different cashier though. but they were pissed and they totally coulda kicked my ass.

also this little girl brought a pair of jeans up and kept putting them on the belt and the mom was like no you can't have them and the little girl kept putting them there and the mom said you dont need them your birthday is coming up and the little girl said," in two weeks jesus christ"
i was pretty shocked
until the mom and daughter got into a tug of war with the pants. and finally i took them and put them behind me so the little girl went up to the salt stacks and sat on them and was screaming fuck you and stuff liek that at her mom and then she came back to the register and said. IM gonna kill you mom. ill get the shotgun and bang your gonna be dead. your gonna wish you bought those jeans they were only twenty fucking dollars.

it was crazy. i had a crazy night but so far im liking this job.

but now there is video on where the lead singer looks like that good charlotte video only i like the song. its pretty catchy. lets see who. its way too good to be good charlotte. huh.


well i love pj anyway. work again tonight maybe they will give me my own register. you never know.

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:: 2005 28 June :: 1.34 pm

well now that ive moved from anger to terror. the thing is that im super excited about college and leaving cedar and being on my own. and now I dont know. like im scared that something is going to happen that will prevent my escape. not that i hate it here. i dont i just really want to go live at school and be my own own person. start a new chapter of my life. on my own. the on my own part is very important. the thing is though that I dont really have $8000 lying around. and Ive got one loan option left all the others are used up. I have none left to look into. if the last one fails then where does that put me especially this late in the game. shoot i am terrified.

1 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 28 June :: 12.12 pm

DAMN you all. all you financial aid people who won't give me any loans because apparently my parents make too much money. fuck you. my parents don't have any money. how am I supposed to go to college? answer me that. whore myself out in order to make up for the $8000 shortage of the year. just fuck you guys. I really thought that i would get accepted for that loan too. fuck. i dont even know what to do any more. Ive tried to find money. apparently I can't because for whatever reason my parents make too much money. well even if they do they wont give any of it to me. but they dont have any because they are still paying off their own student loans. apparently I have nothing to offer anybody. I can just work at walmart for the rest of my damn life. fuck you all. this is way too upsetting. ive got one loan left. one that im waiting on a response from. if i dont get it then i just dont know what i will do. I cant afford to go college. college really sucks.

1 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 27 June :: 10.00 am

well now im just tired.
this was probably the best weekend of my entire life so far.
i got to wake up with pj every morning. for three mornings straight.
I love him so much. i cant even believe how much that is. *sigh*
well today im going to go down to grand valley and talk to some financial aid people. it should be alright. i need to talk to them like a lot because i need some money. im just afraid that they wont have ansers or that they will just repeat what I already know. I get so frustrated talking to everyone else. besides that the open house at my moms was okay. nothing spectacular. got a coffee pot. plates. cups. bowls. and $220. then my grandma gave me a toaster and three pots. so that is mega coolness. it occurs to me that mtv2 plays way better music than just mtv. more rock less shit. well shit im sure i have something that i need to get done. shower or something. later
loves

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