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2005 3 April :: 3.35 pm
Bullshit
As if you were born into a world of tears, you
always tend to look at the darker things in
life. Inside you crave attention yet push away
society, and you're a hopeless romantic. Drawn
to things like the occult and mysteries, you
spend your time daydreaming.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
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2 stars caught |
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2005 3 April :: 3.28 pm
sunday. work 10 minutes. dirty uniform clean hair. messed up house. fresh painted walls. tomorrow Radioactive iodine. blah on that. im so hungry its been a foodless day. darn why wouldnt i stuff my face full of everything in sight. lol. im so excited for prom. thats all i care about. god bless teenage ignorance. give me my last months. dont make me grow up anymore. ive got to get new glasses and contacts but alas my parents will not pay because Im an employed adult. BLAST. insurance covers a little bit. what can you do. doctor tomorrow. loves
ioh yeah pj I love you
*idley twisting birthday present around finger and smileling alll giddy like*
4 stars caught |
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2005 1 April :: 6.03 pm
im pretty tired. pretty bored. pretty blah mostly, just eck like i dont really know what to do with myself. I can do the english worksheet. work on my sculpture. clean my car or pig cage. but i just want to be blah. today I went to the tanners. went to walmart. almost done and ready for prom now. got movies. got pizza. eyebrows waxed. easy enough im sure. but thats enough. i think im gonna run or bike. to keep up for the week after spring break. loves
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2005 1 April :: 2.40 pm
to everyone who asked me to hang out over break. please dont take it personally that I cant. I have to get radioactive iondine therapy. Im spending 3 days at my moms. throw in softball and work and ill be to busy to sleep. love you all. but everything is hectic please understand.
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2005 1 April :: 9.08 am
You are the 'regular' teen. Don't worry, alot of
people will get this result. However, you set
pretty high/low goals for yourself...and you
believe you are the only one in the world.
But, there are alot of people with your
attitude. You tend to wear regular clothing,
or you are forced to wear colors you don't want
to. (such as your mother always buying you
pink / blue clothing) Sometimes you feel
horribly lonely and want to hide, but as
always, you find something to give you reason
to continue. You can either hate or love
school, one opinion please. Never fear, you
are not one of a kind...and that is kinda nice
to hear, since there are other teenagers out
there with your exact view on life. You
could get a job as an author, Teacher, editor,
architect, buisness owner, or administrator.
Good luck in life, and don't forget that no one
is ever alone.
What type of teenager are you?
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im so bored and need to clean. pj is playing the playstation handheld deal. whvr
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2005 31 March :: 10.04 am
I love you so much more right now and I am in a great mood. i really want some subway and I cant WAIT to see you. God I love you so much
2 stars caught |
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2005 31 March :: 7.24 am
this one is for you pj. you freaking love of my life. god
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2005 25 March :: 5.39 pm
well apparently someone has a problem with me. someone who dosent have the balls to tell me who they are. well thats life isnt. i must be a real whore though considering ive been with the same person for almost a year now. well metaphorically and physically I do enjoy being the bigger person.
1 stars caught |
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2005 24 March :: 1.49 pm
its funny how i have no problem telling everyone about my sex life, but the real stuff I keep to myself... lets ponder that
10 stars caught |
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2005 24 March :: 11.42 am
so dumb
1. Give me your number?
2. Have sex with me?
3. Let me kiss you?
4. Watch a movie with me...even a really sappy one?
5. Let me take you out to dinner?
6. Drive me somewhere/anywhere?
7. Take a shower with me?
8. Be my bf/gf?
9. Have a fling with me?
10. Listen to me if I called you crying even if you were out with all of your friends?
11. Buy me a drink if I didnt have money?
12. Take me for the night?
13. Would you let me sleep in your bed?
14. Sing kareoke w/ me?
15. Go in the doctor's office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
16. Re-post this for me to answer your questions?
17. Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
18. Do you like my style?
19. Do you think I'm funny?
20. Do you care about me?
21. Would you cry if I died?
22. Would you dance with me?
23. Would you sing happy birthday to me?
24. Would you hold my hair back at a party if I was throwing up due to intoxication?
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6 stars caught |
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2005 24 March :: 11.25 am
i am happy less than i am depressed lately. i feel so dead all of the time. i seriously just want to quit this entire life. start fresh. be someone else. not be confused. i wish people would make it a little easier on me. not that they know how hard they are hitting me, metaphorically of course. i cant talk. i dont know what to say and ever time I get the chance i dont say what i mean because I dont want to ruin this. my own mind dosent even know itself anymore. i better do the econ homework.
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2005 22 March :: 7.03 pm
im sorry. im being a baby,
"no one understands me"
what a teenager Ive turned into. and here I was thinking im grown up. thats the problem isnt it. Im not grown up. i want to be so bad. i want to be past everything and im just not and I look so hard into the future and I have always had this idea of how everything is supposed to be. and as much as I dont want to admit it it will never be this way. im so lost in this tiny town I know of nothing outside of it and I find that incredibely frightening. people do understand me, not wholly, which is why I latch so hard onto pj because hes the closest person to me that Ive found, the one who seems to understand me the best, and then when something comes up and he dosent know how i am, and I how am reacting in my head I just freak out because I want the perfection back. that hey I know what your thinking thing going on.
contradicting myself yet again, i realized that I have no idea what I want from this life, i want a family, with a dog and an SUV. thats all. the only thing that has ever remained concrete in my mind. im trying too hard. in the last couple of weeks everything just seems to be turning to crap, smoking and michelle, and my own insecurities that I have yet to share and am constantly trying to press out of my mind.
give me back what we had last april, sweet innocent, trusting, perfect. give me time, i know its so much to ask because ive been so unsteay lately, so bipolar all of the time. but i love you and just a little bit more patience is all im asking for. im so much in love with you and i cant even begin to fathom my life without you, i cant even remember my life before you. please call me soon, i need to hear you. i love you. and im not just imagining that its love or filling my need for teenage intimacy. its real i believe that with everything I have, im sorry ive hurt you. once again, for the people not listening. I am in love with pj french.
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2005 22 March :: 1.42 pm
am i the only person in the world who understands me at all. the only person ive found is no one. god. i am so annoyed. no one shares my ambitions, or how i feel about things, or me in general, i can think of only two people who come close. unfortunately they arent the ones that matter in the long run. i wish i could explain myself but its too hard anymore.l
6 stars caught |
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2005 22 March :: 11.31 am
ok start over. im whip ass tired, the last thing I want is to play softball, my eyes hurt cuz i got some wood chunks in them during art. yawn, out loud, at least now liz thorington sits by me. yay liz. i just want this day, this week to be over already. nothing feels right. this is so much bullcrap. the entire thing. i need to grow up. i need to do something. im pretty sure that for once this isnt the pms/thyroid talking. this is 100% me. well buser is talking. later
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2005 22 March :: 11.29 am
i am so freaking blah right now. i woke up so late this morning, i got a shitty parking place, i was so tired, and still am. new se\ats
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