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2005 7 March :: 12.16 pm
dave mathews super sucks. im so effing tired too. gawd I disdain econ. in other news i just found out that pj cannot come over tomorrow and the presents itself as the bummest news I have heard all day long. which is bum because mrs. millard said is supposed to freeze rain and that really bums me out cuz i just want summer back. I talked to dufty about the whole fat prom dress and all. we talked about my nutrition and how I can improve the way I eat. and he said that I am by no means fat but maybe I would feel better about myself if I ate healtier and cut back on the cafeinne. I tend to believe that he is probably right. even after everyone else said the same. thing. I want to apologize but im sick of im sorry. so im going to sleep off my regrets in 6th hour. I love you pj. i can wait to see you again. i feel estranged. if im using the right context there. so many errors
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2005 6 March :: 3.08 pm
AH another sad sunday. I went to rockford for nothing, just wanted to drive for awhile. I finished my art project. I actually did two finals because I couldnt decide which direction that I wanted to go in. I deleted that last rant post. I should have done that in my written journal and I do apologize. well not for the softball stuff but for the personal attacks on people. Ive got one lonely week left. blah on that. also one week until the research paper is due. the one that I have yet to start. eek. but i do have the entire week off so I will have a few days to work on that. I ahve to work in about an hour. and i dont really care to go. maybe I can go home early that would super rock my socks. tomorrow as always I am going to veto softball because this will be my last monday to myself. I like mondays becuase well i dont because im always really tired because I always work on sunday nights. blah on that. I did get my prom dress though and is always a bonus I suppose. its very pretty but it also led to my emotional upheaval and crying in the fitting room forever. prom sucks already but Im still really excited about it. its not too far away now. I also want to apologize to everyone for being the way ive been the last couple of months. this whole depression/thyroid issue super sucks. namely, Jenna for the Alice bit, Joslyn cuz ive not been a great friend. and pj because ive been really naggy, and snappy. but I love you and I just want you to be happy. thanks for putting up with me everyone.
Loves and hugs. Lizzy
2 stars caught |
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2005 4 March :: 6.25 pm
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2005 4 March :: 11.33 am
so not tired today, well a little tired, but i got up on time for a change. blah finally weekend, going prom dress shopping tomorrow. yay. econ is only okay, im so sick of sitting in asinine classes. but if nothing else tonight i plan to get the rest of my subs, clean my room and pig cage, and work on my art and research paper well busey is checking homework. oh yeah listen to mr. brightside, it kicks
2 stars caught |
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2005 1 March :: 12.25 pm
god yes snow day. only at the end of it i have to work. im unthrilled about the prospect of that. last night i ranted for abotu 20 minutes worth of typing about softball and it got lost. im an idiot. but snow days are cool
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2005 28 February :: 11.27 am
so saturday was fun, so glad pj didnt have to work. on to my work
matt and amanda are arguing. amanda walks up to me and says
"that stupid bitch ashley wont talk to me because of matt, i should have fired that fucking punk when I had the chance"
me"sorry amanda but i wont be in the middle of this"
her"what, i listen to you complain all the time, your such a worthless bitch"
this ruined my night. i hate my job officially if I can get a job anywhere else ill be happy to. then her and lynda stayed in the office all night talking about me, also they made up a cheer for me. whos a bitch, liz.
I swear. i dont even know what im supposed to do about this. quit i suppose. i cant really take shit like that. she just trumped jen and her managerial skills like nothing. i need to talk to my parents and come up with a plan of action.
2 stars caught |
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2005 26 February :: 4.32 pm
its been awhile for me at least. i just got out of work and im at home by myself just waiting for 7 to roll around so i can go to walmart and have lunch with pj. i love him so much, even though he said my journal is a waste of time, grrr, pj french. but work sucked, cuz stupid ass stupid never does anything when she isnt the mananger and emilee and i have to cover her ass, and shes all giggling and such and then im get frustrated and pissed off and amanda says something and i just snap and like fucking god dyke do some work for christ sake. thats really all. i need to clean my room and the kitchen. cant wait to see pj. i love him in case you didnt know
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2005 22 February :: 3.33 pm
CEDAR SPRINGS HIGH SCHOOL EQUALS BUT PATTERS AND KARL IS A BUTT LICKER
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2005 21 February :: 6.30 pm
"You're a scientist. You're supposed to respect the natural order of all things. Breakfast comes before lunch, and marriage comes before a honeymoon cruise." --Julie Andrews as Sarah Sherman in TORN CURTAIN (1966).
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2005 21 February :: 6.14 pm
god im so effing tired. i got up at like 1130, showered drove and hour for a half an hour appointment, got blood tests done, came home. slept. got paid. pjs mom stopped by, didnt stay for more than a minute, and here i am finishing my homework on the last night of a four day weekend, school is not my friend. how typical is it to procrastinate. i really super dont want to do this. at what point is this monotonous cycle going to turn into something i care about? probably when im 47 and dying of breast cancer. jesus. its 6:17 i slept until 1130, went to bed at like 9:30 took a nap for 2 hours and im still falling over from fatigue. figure out whats wrong with my doctor its why i pay you. GOD DAMN IT my finger is oozing from a burn and im going to say screw bibliographies, its time for bed until pj calls at like 9:30. whatever. stinking butt patter
2 stars caught |
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2005 20 February :: 8.12 pm
out of work early got some schoolwork to do. julie andrews you turn.
you stinking butt patter
2 stars caught |
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2005 19 February :: 2.23 pm
fuck fuck and fuck. im so tired. sick and tired. i woke up at about ten thirty, attempted to clean my stinky ass room, didnt make it, crashed on the couch at about 11 and just woke up to my dad and mom bitching about some work thing, that im not sure about so im just going to stay out of. my fucking birthday card from mygrandparents still didnt come. this really bums me out. im sorry mr. reed but i will not be attending the game tomorrow because i just cannot afford to get there. it will be a fucking miracle if i even make the team. im going to have to haul ass and make up for everything. maybe my dad will go throw with me later. i could use some of that release. i also need to clean my car and finish cleaning my room. including the guinea pig cages, those pigs were a mistake, they really smell and im pretty sick of them anyway. i cant have a baby ill get sick of that too. it turns out that im not ready for anything. this morning i asked my dad if i should do something and he said make your own decision your 18 and i said i still live in your house tell me what to do and he said thats a pretty lame excuse not to grow up now isnt it. my parents finally give me leeway and i dont really want it. hows that work. i really want to hang out tonight. i dont know who with or what to do. i just dont really want to stay home. i need some money. staying home on a saturday night just seems so old. i guess ill get off this computer now and either clean my room or go back to sleep. ill probably sleep my life away. bah.
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2005 18 February :: 2.00 pm
HEY KELLY we saw you at eDen cuz we were at Wendys and i used my telepathy to try to get you to come to wendy but i guess you didnt hear it. lol
4 stars caught |
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2005 18 February :: 1.54 pm
We went to the mall today, we being pj and myself, it was fun, then we came home and had more fun. then he left to go to work. all in all good day. i say this because it was the first day in a very long string of days where I didnt wake up and think about killing myself as opposed to the day ahead. it was a nice feeling. now i have to go to work. I have to be on drive-thru with le lesbion, which i am extremely unthrilled about but perhaps since there will be three people on drive thru, melindy will send me home early who is to say. now i drink my 7up plus, because that is now my drink of choice and im going to scratch off this lottery ticket in hopes of a winner................................................................................................no dice. i go to the doctor on monday and hopefully i will be able to figure out what my problem is because for some odd reason i dont want to be unhappy anymore. and just in case i get happy again i want to say thank you to pj. i get so pissed off at you and you scare me so much sometimes but i would just like to say that i love you because you let me cry and you dont care when i get boogers on your shirt. that my love is in fact true love. i dont give a flying fuck what anyone says, i love you and i want to spend the rest of my life with you. redheaded babies here I come, everyone have a great weekend.
Lizzy
2 stars caught |
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2005 15 February :: 6.35 pm
Hey PJ guess what. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miranda is a turd<---From PJ
hahahahahahahahahhahaahhahaahahahhahahahahahahahhahahaahhaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh god im and idot<------pj
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