:: 2005 30 November :: 11.39 pm

so today was one of the greater of the days.
so glad matt called.
yayness.
love ya man.
now i just have to get through tomorrow because it is thursday and I have class but then on friday my mom and I are going shopping and that will be fun. had dinner at home tonight because work said do not come in because we are cutting hours. for me and ray so that was cool.
i like parents.
okay thats it. thats my day.
oh yeha i talked to dani who i love a whole bunch.
cant wait to see her again.

1 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 30 November :: 1.19 am

So yeah.
Last yesterday I found some all stars on clearance for $10 so i called up annie and she wanted a pair too and then i got then for buy one get one half off.
so i paid $8 for a pair of construction cone orange chucks. rockin'
then today my matty came to walmart and made me all happy and I met his gf who is super hott.
now I just finished my spanish comp. and I got a 92% on my last comp so hopefully this one goes as well. I am ready to go to bed now and my roomate is trying to talk ray into learning an umpa lumpa dance.
oh yeah ray and I looked at apartments yesterday.
he and I and annie are going to get one together so yayness.

6 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 29 November :: 1.29 am

take a look ahead.
take a look ahead.
Look Ahhheeeeaaaaaadddd.
I understand about indecision.

1 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 28 November :: 12.45 pm

it used to be that it would bother me. it doesnt anymore. well it does but i refuse to let it. so what. the things that you were an ass about make no difference to me anymore. its funny because had i known that i wasnt going to spend the rest of my life with you I probably would have done things different. id be at a different college thats for sure. but had those things happened i would be with raymond right now and so in the end it all works out right. god has a plan. or he has a guideline. I guess we will all see.

5 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 27 November :: 6.58 pm

Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
You keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

[CHORUS]

Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe

Catch a Star

:: 2005 27 November :: 4.11 pm

ha.
i am doing better,
a little self-pitying.
the girls at the jewelry counter said that ray is too good for.
im not sure if thats a good thing or not.
they also said that he must have a thing for fat girls. so not a good thing.
also im going to kick this one girls ass.
we went to high school with her.
yeah i fucking hate her.
bu ti stayed at kristens all week and it was cool.
i love that girl.
her and i and mike and ray
good fucking times.

Catch a Star

:: 2005 22 November :: 2.11 pm

I think that i am going to officially retire my journal.
not that any of you care.

6 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 22 November :: 10.23 am

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything, either good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you!

7 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 22 November :: 10.06 am

so yeah.
yesterday.
that was one killer of a day.
tiring. to add to my dismay and shit filled day it was the night of the xbox 360 release. haha losers who wanted one but didnt get one. we only had 10 with about 30 people in line for it. cant put it on layaway cash or charge only. haha.
i laugh at you.
that might be the only time i laughed all night.
it was horrible.
so much damn crying and so i have resolved to myself that I am not going to let YOU make me cry. I am above that. I control myself and at the command of mike I am no longer going to talk to you because you get me riled up too bad and I dont need it. Ray and I talked though. about the stuff that you and I talked about and about the whole one person what If i already found him and threw it away. he is cool and he understands but i think that the way i was last night scared him and now he is moving out.
so there is that. he says he is but i dont think he will. i hope not. I like him here with me. he makes every day better, knowing that at the end of the day he is going to be waiting for me is the greatest feeling. as for my "friends" I pretty much decided whatever you all have your opinion and what i say will never change that. As far as me being a whore and a bitch I didnt know that doing the things that i need to do made me those things but whatever. I guess next time i should stay stuck in a relationship where I am unhappy as long as no one gets hurt. at least not right away those things would never go away and it would drag on, yeah I found a new boyfriend pretty quick but i think that is life, why would i pass up a great guy just because i just broke up with another one. I love Pj he knows that. I always will but Im not going to sit around moping for him. I am better today, after talking to ray. yeah pj its unfair I know but its life and its the right that he gets because he is my boyfriend and at this point i think that you are just saying some things because you know they will bother me but i refuse to let them bother me anymore

2 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 21 November :: 1.08 pm

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.

When I wake up, I'm willing to take my chances on the hope I forget
that you hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you (for you, so...)

You need him. I could be him...
I could be an accident but I'm still trying.
That's more than I can say for him.

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.

Someday I'll appreciate in value, get off my ass and call you... {but for} the meantime I'll sport my
brand new fashion of waking up with pants on at 4:00 in the afternoon.

You need him. I could be him...
I could be an accident but I'm still trying.
That's more than I can say for him.

1-2-3-4!

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.

(won't find out) he won't find out
(won't find out) he won't find out

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. (he won't find out)
Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.

3 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 21 November :: 12.59 pm

well i talked to leo today. apologized about being a bitch to him and he was cool. he said that i was in a new relationship and he could understand how ray would be a little jealous of him, leo is too good to me. hopefully other people can be cool like him too.
as of right now the only friends i seem to have as constant are joslyn, amber, and kristin.
everything is turning out so differently than i had ever expected.
im bummed that you people who have claimed to be my friends can turn around and say things like that about me. kelly especially. he said that he was neutral and that he would still be friends with both of us after we broke up. i see how true that was. im really upset about that kelly. thanks a mil.
pj I am bummed because i feel like you are trying to use things against me that you think will make me want to go back to you. I dont think that is fair at all, especially the whole ring thing. i love you regardless im just saying.
today is really upsetting me.
I need something a drink or sleep, yeah sleep. good.

4 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 21 November :: 11.34 am

SO
Kelly,
Kevin,
Bill,
Yakaly,
Michelle,
YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF!!!
You don't know me, you don't know Pj and I's relationship so keep your damn opinions to yourself.

Catch a Star

:: 2005 20 November :: 9.52 pm

so yeha. im am wiped the fuck out
i mean literally ray and i just skatedboarded for two hours.
it was damn cool.
only i wiped out and my hand is all filled with gravel and my elbow is bleeding.
but i feel happy.
we had a good night.'
now he is going to the medcenter because he has been pretty sick and his mom said that he needs to go and so he is.
whatever.

Catch a Star

:: 2005 20 November :: 6.00 pm

F"UCK
that is me screaming fuck in frustration at you.
\okay.
he is angry at me. damn damn.

3 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 18 November :: 12.24 am

JOSLYN I love you.

come see me.
i want to cry and i dont know why.
what is going on.
everything is falling so fast

stupid stupid fall out boy.

2 stars caught | Catch a Star