I've been ridiculously tired and having migraines. Bah. Sometimes I feel like I leave David out of the loop too much when it comes to parenting decisions, but he seems to trust what I think. I co sleep. Half of the night I bed share, and I took a nap in the bed with the baby a couple of days ago, and as soon as we woke up and came out here she was screaming... and David was like "did you break her arm or something?". I have no idea why it bothered me, but I guess I feel like I should automatically be defensive about it because when I first mentioned it to my mom and grandma they both gave me lectures about how I was going to kill my baby.... ugh. Safe bed sharing actually reduces the risk of sids... but I won't go into that right now. I think that I have settled on only getting the Dtap shop when I take her in for her weight check next week. The doctor brought up a good point of me doing my grocery shopping in big rapids, where there are alot of amish and people going to ferris from other countries... My biggest worry is her having a reaction. I had seizures from the Dtap when I was around two years old, so I am not fully vaccinated either. I guess the way I'm going about things is considered "selective and delayed vaccinating". I would completely delay until she was at least one if I was fully vaccinated, and if David didn't work somewhere that hundreds of people touch the things he touches every day at work. I feel like I'm getting somewhere making myself a schedule and organizing the house. Its probably boring to other people... but I honestly don't go anywhere. Today was the first time I left the house without David in at least three weeks, and the only times that I have left WITH him were to go to his parents for a minute, and to the grocery store once a week I think. Skylar had a terrible teething day on Tuesday, and she went on a six/seven hour nursing/napping strike that boiled down to me pumping and giving her a bottle just to get her to eat, because she screamed every time I held her to me. It worked, and she ate, and then ate from me right afterward... but it was actually really hard for me to do that. She hasn't had a single bottle since she was born. I was kind of hoping for her to not even have a bottle until she was at least six months, maybe longer. Or forever. It was a little goal I had.
I miss the feeling of being 21 and having no idea what I was going to do that day, that week, that year... the rest of my life. I'm extremely happy with my life, with Skylar, and with David.... but I just get a little nostalgic sometimes. Also... I was a hell of alot more fun then... but probably not in the top ten list of good people in the world... haha. O'well.
Since this entire "teething" thing started, Skylar has been on a semi-nursing strike. She fights me about eating. I have to act like a contortionist sometimes just to get her in a position where she will stop being mad and stay latched. I'm worried this is going to negatively impact our weight check in two weeks. It will make me physically ill if I have to give her formula. I will do absolutely everything in my power to not have to do that. She's a tall skinny kid. She doesn't seem unhealthy to me. She has plenty of wet diapers, she's just slow to gain. Its hard enough to make myself feel ok with it, and I have a feeling its going to be even harder at the doctor now that they know I haven't made a decision about vaccinating. When I called to ask about her low grade fevers today the phone nurse was grilling me about not having her shots at her well visit.
Having a child that starts teething at 2 months is a punishment that should be saved for the extremely wicked. I can deal with crying, and drooling, and the general hatred of everything, but man I definitely appreciate it more when she smiles and laughs now. I'm working on being a better wife. I know we're not "married" but I think I can also speak for David here when I say we've considered ourselves married for a few years now. He wears a ring also. When I complain about being broke, it has nothing to do with David. He is a great provider, we have everything we need, we just no longer have money for "fun" like really nice phones, or going to the bar, or out to eat to real places etc. On another note, people are really grinding my gears. I'm not sure certain people know how crass and rude they sound with every single thing they say..... Maybe I just take things the wrong way. Hard to know.
they want us to make a procedures manual for the maintenance department, since they never made one initially, and there's been quite a bit of turnover in the department over the last 5 years. also, todd and i are not going to be sticking around here forever, which is no secret to anyone.
so, i'm looking for feedback. primary concern is readability and conciseness, while being amply descriptive. the idea is that whatever knuckle dragger comes here after us will hopefully at least be able to read, maybe even have some experience in the trades. but they need to be able to perform these tasks, whether they have experience or not. thus, these procedure instructions.
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2012 24 September :: 4.57pm
:: Music: the crane wives - the fool in her wedding gown
work
so, i've realized that while i bring a lot of specialized knowledge to the table, which i use on a virtually daily basis, it is extremely unnecessary for the job. good to have. really not needed.
there are ultimately only two critical aspects to holding down a maintenance position (aside from the social politics of whatever company you work for. that's a much bigger, separate can of worms):
1. Fix whatever broken stuff they bring to your attention.
2. If you can't figure out how to fix it, either:
a) have them call in someone else who is more specialized to fix it.
b) make damn sure it leaves your care broken enough to justify buying a new one.
that's pretty much it. simple. the only thing that makes this job difficult is me. which would happen at any job i have.
