pretending everything's okay..
::sigh::
the weekend is over.
tomorrow is school.
another week is starting.
bleh.
i dont really have much to say.
i could go into detail about today, but im too lazy.
the weekend was boring.
but i survived.
that's the only important part, right?
i dont wanna write anything else.
later.
-holly-

you jump so hard but i always catch your fall..
hmm..not much has happened since yesterday.
::sigh::
i got a xanga, so i could comment on xanga again.
just incase you want to check it out here's the url:
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=thelonertheory
yeah..
anyhoo.
today i slept until about 11 (we went to a late movie and i didn't get sleep until around 2:30).
mum and i hung up christmas lights around the dinning room window and the front door.
i helped out with the extention cords too, when dad got home.
after awhile they didn't need me (thank goodness, tis cold outside), so i came inside and ate some ramen and watched spongebob.
when mum and dad were done hanging lights around back, mum and i did our hair (dying).
yeah..
tis uberly reddish again.
:-D
YAY!!!
we're leaving in about an hour to go to Hy Vee (i can rent White Oleander!! ::grins happily::), and then to my Aunt Linda's party.
tis the last time we'll get to see Ryan and my aunt and uncle.
they're leaving early tomorrow morning.

today is the 27th..
YEAR AND A HALF!!!!!!
:-)
yeahhh..

i think that's about all.
I LOVE MY BOO!
-holly-


boo/puhchew

the innocence of youth..
Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee.
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies.
Well, I'm all grown up now,
But still need help somehow.
I'm not a child but my heart still can dream.

So here's my lifelong wish,
my grown-up christmas list,
not for myself, but for a world in need:

No more lives torn apart,
and wars would never start,
and time would heal all hearts.
Every one would have a friend,
that right would always win,
and love would never end:
This is my grown-up christmas list.

As children we believed
the grandest sight to see
was something lovely wrapped beneath the tree.
Well, heaven surely knows
that packages and bows
can never heal a hurting human soul.

No more lives torn apart,
and wars would never start,
and time would heal all hearts.
Every one would have a friend,
that right would always win,
and love would never end:
This is my grown-up christmas list.

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth..

There'd be...
No more lives torn apart,
and wars would never start,
and time would heal all hearts.
Every one would have a friend,
that right would always win,
and love would never end:
This is my grown-up christmas list,
this is my only lifelong wish,

This is my Grown-up Christmas List..

you are some beauty queen, or something better...
mmkay, i finally got a chance to update..sorry for the wait.
(not like anyone *really* cared)
Wednesday- early out...justin, mindy, grant, and i went to the park. grant left around 1:30, cause he had to walk home. mindy left...later? justin and i stayed until around 4ish i think. we probably would've been there longer, but joey, david, darren, heather, and gavin came by on their way to joey's so we joined them.
twas fun.
:-)
wednesday night we had family come over for pizza.
i spent most of the time with my cousin ryan.
he's 19..but definatly the coolest relative that's visiting.
::sigh::
yesterday was thanksgiving.
we went over to my aunt rhonda's and had supper there.
about 18 people...yeah.
twas pretty fun.
we went over at about 12 and stayed until 8ish.
yeah..it was a long day, but i got in a GREAT run.
(my aunt and uncle own and live on a christmas tree farm, so there's about 50 acres to run around...)
hehe.
last night when we got home mum and i watched Don Juan De Marco
::swoons::
i <3 johnny depp
but dont worry boo, i love you more-erest.
;-)
yeah..
today mum and dad are doing christmas lights, and i think we might go shopping.
heather's working at the mall, so i *might* go see her.
dunno yet.
i'll update later.
<33
-holly rose-

i'll miss your laugh, your smile..
went to the movies tonight with my mum and dad.
we went to see Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
i thought it was a great movie.
but i could be a little swayed by all the GREAT looking actors.
;-)
hehe.
damn Angelina is nice looking.
::goes off into lala land::
anyhoo.
tomorrow tis early out.
i told mindy i'd go to the park with her.
idk if anyone else is going.
finch and a bunch of our friends are going bowling.
whatever.
mindy and i shall have fun alone, if it comes to that.
ugh.
im finishing up my Of Mice and Men paper.
i must say, it's pretty damn good.
:-D
yeah.
oooh..it's all done printing, so i think im out.
farwell everyone.
i'll write tomorrow...
-holly-

follow me there, to a beautiful somewhere..
well today has been totally useless.
:-(
my activities today have been:
get online for endless hours, read, watch tv, get online for more endless hours, and dust.
fun, eh?
why do i always expect to do something fun on the weekend anyways?
where the hell did i get this odd little idea of weekends being fun?!
I NEVER HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!
okay, that's not true.
but a good weekend is very rare for me.
i barely ever see friends outside of school.
i sit around at home listening to music, and spending too much time online, and feel sorry for myself.
the thing is i dont really want to change it.
if i have fun every weekend what will i do when a weekend comes that i cant do anything?
good weekends should be like holidays..they only come once a year, and they're exciting.
yeah.
enough analysis of why i do nothing over the weekend.
i have too much time on my hands.
later.
-holly rose-

i can break and take it with a smile..
babysat last night for 6 1/2 hours.
wow, those kids are crazy.
we played a million different games, and they were still totally wired.
:-)
but i suppose all the candy and such didn't help them calm down.
hehe.
the hunter (the lil boy..he's 4) was soo cute.
his sister and i were making popcorn, and he doesn't like it so he's like, "holly i dont want you to have popcorn!"
tehe.
yeah.
getting them to bed was hard, but when isn't it, eh?
anyways, we've got new neighbors.
somebody finally moved into the abandoned house (the people who lived there moved to arizona in july..actually they moved on my birthday).
yeah.
it's weird seeing so many cars over in the driveway.
tis probably another young couple.
bleh.
i wish we had someone around here my age..
::frowns::
i guess there's brie, jessamyn, and hannah, but i dont really know them that well.
brie and jess were my friends in elementary school.
anyways.
my grandma and tami are supposed to be here today, and i think we might go see Spongebob The Movie!!
yay!
i also really need to go to the mall.
i gave away almost half of my clothes to goodwill, and threw away a ton more.
yeah.
im left with like 3 pairs of jeans, a couple hoodies, some t-shirts, and barely any pajamas.
:-(
so yes, i tis hoping we can go to jordan creek.
last time we were there was with my mum's parents and a mall trip with them never takes more than an hour.
::sigh::
but yeah..
mum and dad are currently putting carpet on the basement stairs, and im still trying to wake up.
i think that's about it..
<33
-hols-

call it rock, or pop, or Bach, or fuck...
well, i am, updating again.
didn't feel like updating after school.
i was really hyper, and then justin called and i got distracted, and then my parents came home, and mum and i watched a movie (Elf) and then i studied for my states quiz, and then i was like "whoa, i should update.."
:-)
hehe.
still a wee bit hyper.
yeah..
today was pretty good.
justin twas there.
::grins::
it was an a day, so it was pretty easy.
i organized mrs. aker's books.
one shelf anyways..i wanted to stay for advisement and do the other, but she wouldn't let me.
damn reading days.
:-\
anyhoo..
let's see, i already said i only got 2 1/2-3 hours of sleep last night..
hmm.
::sings::

"call it rock or pop, or Bach, or fuck...
goddamn! where did we go wrong?
now there's a category for every song."

err..tis stuck in my head.
not that i mind.
i <3 blue october.
and i <33 my boo!!!!
well, i think that's about it.
later everyone.
-hols-

good morning..
hey there.
i got on to copy some blue october to my mp3 player and desided to update..since i didn't yesterday.
i would've but i talked to justin on the phone for awhile, and then once we hung up i fell asleep until my mum woke me up around 6:15.
yeah.
i got up, ate, did my homework, and by the time i was done it was time for bed again.
but i couldn't sleep.
i dozed off for a little while around 10:30, but some cars leaving the neighbors house woke me up.
i didn't get back to sleep until about 3:30.
yeah.
im rather tired and i have an ortho appointment in about an hour.
::sigh::
and then i get to go to school and try to function on 2 and 1/2 hours of sleep.
heh.
i'll update when i get home.
<33
-holly-

what a beautiful day..
today was good!!
i was happy all day, still am, despite the throbbing headache.
:-)
for once im pretty much convinced that my life is taking a turn for the better.
i do believe everything will be okay from now on.
"to love and be loved.."
::sigh::
everything is perfect right now!!!
everything, everything, everything.


we'll see how long this lasts..
-hols-

a brief overview..or something like that
alright, whatever.
i give up waiting for y'all to comment.
YOU CAN REMAIN ALL SECRETIVE-ISH!!!!
::rolls eyes at self::
umm, my weekend was sucky.
i had to spend pretty much all of it working in the basement.
but i guess it was worth it.
we have some nice walls, and new carpet, and it didn't cost too much money.
yeah.
i keep hoping maybe my parents will finish up in the basement, and then they'll remember me.
im so fucking selfish.
i just wish we could be a real family again.
my father doesn't eat dinner, except sometimes on weekeneds, so we dont ever sit down to eat together unless it's pizza.
when we do order pizza and have a "family dinner" it's in front of the tv.
lately ive been just eating baked potatoes.
mum doesn't care, dad doesn't notice.
so my diet lately has been rather healthy i guess.
a small bowl of cereal on school mornings, a bunch of carrots at lunch, and a baked potato in the evening.
whatever.
WHO CARES?
lots of people actually.
had a good conversation with justin today.
:-)
goddess, i love him.
it's like, everything can be totally horrid, and then i remember him.
he's always there for me.
ALWAYS!!!!
so today was pretty bad too, but i have justin.



i think everything might turn out okay.
-holly-

anybody out there?
okay, i tis going to take a quick survey.
if ANYONE reads this i would like them to please comment.
if you're not a user at woohu you can check the "post anonymously" box
i dont even care if you sign it, and let me know who you are, i just want to know how many people read it.
:-)
THANKS
-hols-

EDIT: by saying "ANYONE who reads this" i meant EVERYONE.
NEWER EDIT: so should i just assume that the only people who read this are erin and mysti ;-)

Sorry If I Hate Your Parents
i cant stand old fashioned, christian, bible thumping, people.
you know the ones i mean.
they've somehow brainwashed their kids into believing going to church two (or three or four or five..) times a week is fun!
they dont allow their children to have any social life outside of church.
they dont let their daughters have boy/girl relationships (you know what kind i mean ;-D), instead they keep them as these virginal children who still think boys are gross.
the girls aren't hard to pick out. they're the ones who have never kissed a guy. or held hands with one..or hugged one..or really come in any kind of physical contact with those of the male gender.
but the thing that really ticks me off about these parents is that they get their children to go around and try to convert their friends.
"Oh, Susan, does your little friend Betty not attend a church service regularly?"
"No Mom, I'll make sure to talk to her about how she's going to go to hell if she doesn't accept Jesus, and invite her to go to church with us."
WHERE THE HELL IS FREEDOM OF RELIGON?!
i see how it is, the government doesn't care what religon you are (or aren't) but we'll continue the persecution within the citizens.

I DONT WANNA BE A FUCKING CHRISTIAN AND I DONT BELIEVE IN GOD!
how hard is that to understand?