went to see blue october saturday night with mindy.
they were awesome.
there were two other bands there.. palmeroy and hello dave.
palmeroy was pretty good, but hello dave..bleh.
anyhoo..i dyed my hair today.
it's reddish now.
it looks pretty good.
hard to get used to.
arg.
whatever, i needed a change.
wonder what the kids will think...
tehe.
wonder what justin and david shall think.
justin is supposed to be getting back tomorrow or wednesday.
so..yeah.
dammit.
i look way different.
-holly-

Today...w00t!
going to the blue october concert tonight with mindy!!
yay.
it's going to be soo much fun.
there's two other bands playing there, that im not really familiar with, but it'll be good anyways.
:-)
concerts are fun.
my father and i went to peeples music to get the tickets and i got the shinedown cd there.
which is what im listening to at the moment.
i'll probably get the blue october cd tonight, and a shirt..like i did at the dashboard concert.
i am soo excited for tonight.
"STARING DOWN THE BARREL OF A 45"
whoo, that song kinda gives me chills, but it's awesome.
i was going to look for a linkin park cd there, but then i saw this one.
Shinedown's, Leave A Whisper cd.
it has Fly from the Inside, and 45 on it.
those are the only two songs i really know, but the other ones sound good so far.
did i mention i am sooo excited for tonight?
lol.
im going now.
gotta see if nik is on, and ask what was w/ him stalking me last night at hy-vee.
hehe.
i had no idea he works there.
-holly-

blah.
work today.
maddy is soo cute.
:-)
im going to write poetry tonight and i'll put it in my xanga.
yippie.
my free trial of premium xanga ends tomorrow.
:'(
it makes holly sad.
but that's okay, cos i messed it up yesterday.
and i can make it pretty colours.
i'd buy a premium account there, they're not expensive, it's just that you can only use paypal.
err...evil.
im going to donate some money to antishift.
as soon as ryan gets the new server up.
but yeah.
it's actually supposed to be working late tonight, or tomorrow.
so i guess i can upload stuff tomorrow.
yippie.
i <3 antishift.
but anyhoo....
i got a bunch of stuff for the sims, so im going to play tomorrow.
i'd play tonight, but my mother will kick me off in a little while cos ive been on a lot since we got home.
which makes no sense to me, cos she's on the computer for 8 hours a day, and sometimes she comes home and gets on for 3 or 4 more hours.
evil.
oh well, i have all of tomorrow.
but They're taking monday off cos of 4th of july.
tisnt fair.
but i suppose i can survive.
we'll probably be out doing some "family" thing, and im sure i'll get some poetry out of that.
:-/
well, i think i'll go now..i've got some other journals to update (3).
yeah, i have a lot now.
hehe.
woohu is my favorite i think.
1. woohu.
2. xanga
my other two are tied.
and i cant remember the names of the sites..i have them bookmarked, so i dunno.
hehe.
later.
-holly-

mirror image
i just looked in the mirror.
i like who i see.
i mean, she's no where near the perfection i want, but she's getting pretty good looking.
her way to small bandana tank top, and those adorable count von count pj pants.
she looks lovely with her hair down.
her stomach is getting flatter by the week, and i think by the end of summer she may be totally beautiful.
but im not setting my sights too high.
-holly-

i dont wanna live like my mother
i dont wanna let fear rule my life

that so fits me.
:-D
it's insanely perfect.
i love this song.

stayed up late working on david's picture book.
hehe.
we're going to try to get to summerfest together.
me, david, justin, and who ever else.
just have to ask justin when he gets back.

yay.
-holly-

a poem for my mother..grr
stop attacking me with questions
ive got my right to be alone
you have no business prying
i can handle things on my own

dont think i dont know your secret
i know just why you're scared
im not supposed to be like you
you want me as someone who cared

it's not my fault
you've failed at this
dont trying to change things through me
if you keep it up so much i'll miss

i only want to live
maybe with some cats
but you would never let me
old ladies like that are bats

so i'll try to break free
though i too may fail
please just let me be
follow your own life's trail

a family day..err.
we're going to living history farms today.
odd.
They desided we needed to actually do something as a family today.
i guess it'll be okay.
i'd rather go to the DSM Arts Festival.
::pout::
but oh well.
mum said she didn't really feel like walking around DSM so we're not going.
except living history farms will be walking around...
im not going to say anything about that though.
cos otherwise it's go karts and i soo dont wanna do that.
evil.
my father wanted to go to the zoo, but She managed to convince Him otherwise.
go mum!
so yeah.
justin is leaving sunday night..but that's okay.
i'll actually get chores done next week.
hehe.
well, im out for now.
later.
-holly-

work..it was okay :-)
i got to work with a little boy just one on one today.
his name is joel.
he's really rather sweet..he just likes to wander away from the group.
we went on quite a walk around camp, and stuff.
yeah.
when i finally got him back to the rec center it was lunch time, but he didn't wanna eat, so we stayed there all alone (yay, i didn't have to eat!), and he napped.
he's so cute.
apparently he likes to play with the radio.
omigosh!
when they were swimming The Reason came on..whoa.
those first couple notes always make me feel..odd.
idk.
it's hard to explain.
but yeah..anyhoo.
mum came home early today..sick.
she better be feeling okay in the morning.
i need a friday at home with justin.
::sigh::
maybe i'll get some laundry done or something.

mum is talking of next summer and such.
she wants to fly out to oregon next summer..and then the summer after that either fly out to seatle and take a ferry up to alaska, or fly up to juno and then ferry down.
i think she's leaning for ferrying down..so we can see ketchakan when she used to live.
oregon and alaska, yay!
but i doubt it'll happen..atleast not next summer.
eh..we'll see.
so im going now.
no idea why..just tired of rambling.
-holly-

This Might Sound Vain, But..
i saw a beautiful girl today.
she was sitting ontop of a table, on the other side of the window.
her hair was pulled back in a pony tail, but she had mouth-length bangs which hid her face.
i could still see the sad look in her grey eyes.
she sat kind of hunched over, just staring out the window.
this lovely girl was wearing jeans and a grey Pink Panther hoodie, even though it's the middle of summer.
her sleeves were rolled up and i could see tiny arms, her right wrist bearing a single, red rubber band.
she just sat there spacing off as i took in all of her beauty.
then i realised something..that girl was me.

rain
i went out and danced in the rain.
it was glorious.
the high has yet to wear off.
it's been about 2 1/2 hours since i was out and im still exstatic.
:-)
rain is so wonderful.
i would like to die in the rain with justin.
that would be the happiest way to die.
-holly-