Sorry for the self pity entry but I need to vent
I feel completely isolated and alone because of my lack of active friendships. I don't have a best friend, nor do I have any friends that I can just call and say, "hey let's hang out." It seems like everyone else has moved on or is far away or busy with their new lives.
I've been doing really well making positive progress lately, but the social isolation I feel is suffocating me. I had one best friend, we had so much in common, I felt so comfortable around her and we did everything together. Well she graduated (we used to have classes together) and she got a new boyfriend (now fiance) who she's completely infatuated with and is also pregnant. And I haven't talked to her in months. I try texting or calling once in a while but I never get a response. I am a fun, friendly person I feel and I NEED social interaction. I need to have friends who I can hang out with, go to things with or just talk to. I'm really depressed about the whole thing, I even joined a stupid "friendship" website, but there's nobody even on there remotely in this area. My mom tells me to 'be brave' and just go to the bar or whatever by myself and "make" friends. That doesn't work so well because everyone is already there with their "groups" and people aren't just accepting of a random stranger trying to join in. I just feel sad b/c I feel like everyone else has friends except me. How did this happen? I know I got depressed and probably stopped communicating with people, but I guess when I moved to CMU I just got a boyfriend and he was my only friend, and I didn't make any new friends. And then we broke up, and I was left with just people I work with, who I am not friends with anymore. And so I rely on Nic, who I should honestly break up with but if I did I would have nobody.
I know maybe it seems silly, but I don't know what to do. I went to a couple groups on campus but I felt like an outsider b/c everyone already knew everybody and I was the "new" person that wasn't established in the group. I just want someone NOW! someone I can call and talk to or whatever. I'm sick of relying on my little sister and mom for female companionship. Not that I don't love them..they're wonderful and are happy to talk to me. But it's not the same. I'm 23, I feel like I should have a circle of girl friends, like my sister does! She has like four "best friends" who always hang out and they always do things together. and if one is busy there are three other people willing to hang out.
Breakthough in therapy*
*It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.
I now view the world in a different way. This is why I was always depressed from 15 on. I've shifted my world view. Other people do not define me. I define me. Other people's opinion of me (or what I assume they think) doesn't affect me anymore. It's going to be a work in progress, but the first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one.
I realize now I have a choice. Other people can not make me feel inferior, angry, frustrated, sad etc..unless I choose to let them. At that moment, I need to stop, choose how to react and let it go, b/c before, it automatically affected me. In that split second, I can make a huge difference in the way I live my life. Realizing I do have a choice.
It seems so simple, and I never realized I was doing it. Until now. Time to move forward..
Something I foudn on StumbleUpon (my new fav. website)
Positive Affirmations for Self Esteem
1. I deeply and completely love myself.
2. I believe in myself apart from others' opinions.
3. I feel good about taking care of my own needs.
4. I am comfortable being myself around others.
5. I am a unique and valuable person just as I am.
6. I am becoming more and more confident.
7. I love myself just the way I am.
8. I like the way I handle challenges.
9. I feel good and good is attracted to me.
10. I openly express my needs and feelings.
11. I am my own unique self – special, creative and wonderful.
12. I love and accept myself.
13. I am healthy and happy.
14. I am inherently worthy as a person.
15. I accept and learn from my mistakes.
Positive Affirmations for Daily Living
16. I enjoy the adventure of life.
17. I'm responsible and in control of my life.
18. I'm in control of my attitude toward circumstances.
19. I learn and grow through every challenge.
20. I accept the natural ups and downs of life.
21. The Law of Attraction operates in my life for my highest good.
22. I am calm and relaxed in every situation.
23. I am discovering new meaning in my life.
24. I am improving one step at a time.
25. I am healthy, strong, and capable.
26. I am willing to trust others.
27. I forgive myself and others.
28. I am willing to relax, let go and have fun.
29. Everything is getting better every day.
30. There are beautiful things happening in my life daily.
31. I experience the excitement of growth daily.
32. I am at peace with the Universe.
33. I am safe and always feel protected.
34. I am willing to allow others to help me.
35. I am always in harmony with the Universe.
36. I am filled with the Love of the Universal Divine Truth.
37. All is well in my world.
Positive Affirmations for Health
38. I am healthy in every way.
39. Every cell in my body vibrates with energy and health.
40. I nourish my mind, body and soul.
41. My body heals quickly and easily.
42. I am in control of my health and wellness.
43. I have abundant energy, vitality and well-being.
44. I am healthy in all aspects of my being.
45. I love and care for my body and it cares for me.
46. My body is healthy, energized, and perfect in every way.
47. I am healthy, whole and complete.
48. The vibrant wellness in my body increases every day.
49. I am perfectly healthy in body, mind and spirit.
50. I sleep soundly and peacefully.
51. I am living a long and healthy Life.
52. I have a healthy heart and a strong set of lungs.
53. Healthy living ideas flow to me easily.
Positive Affirmations for Abundance, Wealth, and Prosperity
54. I am attracting the financial resources I need.
55. I am a prosperity magnet.
56. The more grateful I am, the more reasons I find to be grateful
57. I pay my bills with love as I know abundance flows freely through me.
58. Money flows to me easily and frequently.
59. I am eternally grateful for my abundance.
60. Wealth is pouring into my life.
61. I am getting wealthier each day.
62. I travel whenever and wherever I please.
63. I am successful in whatever I do.
64. I always have more than I need.
65. The universe brings me fulfillment and abundance.
66. Everything I touch is a success.
List of Affirmations for Work
67. I work with people I love, and who love and respect me.
68. Great things just always have a way of coming into my life.
69. I have a wonderfully satisfying job.
70. I love and enjoy my work and I receive the perfect pay.
71. Divine Guidance causes me to do an exceptional job.
72. I am a success magnet at work.
73. I am an expert at what I am doing
74. My work now fulfills and enriches me
75. My work is deeply satisfying.
76. I am a magnet for creative ideas.
77. New opportunities are opening for me.
List of Affirmations for Success
78. I am winning in the race of life.
79. I am successful in whatever I do.
80. My possibilities are endless.
81. I enjoy more and more success because I am the best.
82. My intentions unfold with ease.
83. I am clearly pointed in the direction of my dreams.
84. The resources that I need come to me with ease.
85. I am so grateful to be realizing my intentions.
86. I am a success in all that I do.
87. Everything I touch returns riches to me.
88. I am always productive.
List of Affirmations for Love/Relationships
89. I am surrounded with loving, caring people in my life.
90. I easily attract love into my life.
91. The warmth of love fills my world.
92. I appreciate those who love me.
93. I radiate love and happiness.
94. I am loving and accepting of others.
95. Healthy relationships are a wonderful pattern for me.
96. All my relationships are loving and harmonious.
97. My life is filled with love, fun and friendship.
98. I am loving and lovable, and I find love everywhere.
99. I live in harmony and balance with everyone I know.
100. I love myself and I attract loving people into my life.
101. I am attracting emotionally available partners to my loving and giving spirit.