Fuck the World
i swear to fucking god. i try to care for someone and they either Stab me in the back or their Friends stab me in the back. I remember being Friends with justin, Ty, And Brad. Same to you Mike but your still my friend and i talk to you when im actually online. So fuck the world for trying to fuck me over, i shouldnt have gotten back on Woohu but i did and im glad i did at the same time cuz i read Brads entry and now i know to never again try to reach Justin for anything. It wasnt like i was doing any harm. i mean shit. Fuck it i dont care anymore. I just want Brady back. my love, My heart, and my Soul. DAMN IT!!!! i hate myself, I wanna die. Bye.

I dunno
Last entry. Daniel "sushi" wrote. Hahaha. But ya, Neways though, Im super bored. Finished my first final of the 8 i have. I have one more today then im done, i get out at 11:05am Woot! hahaha. Hopefully my home number stays the same. It would suck changin numbers again. Man i am sad because of Brady and his family bs. I miss my friend Daniel. Hes still stuck at home everyday. Poor poor boi haha. I love him! Woot! i have to come visit him today too. Later yall, Nuthin to talk about and Class is almost over.

I didn't get sexed!
And I'm pissed! I need to get sexed. How about the guy next to me, Daniel. Yeah, he's celibate, too bad. *Sigh* I heard he's hung...like a Italian horse.

ASVAB Test...
i took the Asvab test today and i think im going to join the military now that i think of it. it will get me out of joining a college for awhile and i can take off for maybe a semester before going into it. It will be hard but who knows whats next for me. I will surely soon find out. The air force is a good place. i dont think i could hack anything more. I need to start running and eating right if i even wanna try. Well guess there isnt too much to say. I love my bf, im sad that Ill never again hear from Brady again even though i want him so badly here to see me walk across the stage and get my diploma. I did this for not only me but for him too. Thinkin Sux.....later yall.
p.s. i got Tracy the job for today and im takin her to class! Woot my bes friend is going to work with me! yay!!!!!

Daniel....heh...
Wow i dont know what it is about this boi but he is so great to me, he is sweet, attractive, and he loves to be with me. he understood me when i said there might be a day when i will love him. He wants me too but he and i both know its too soon but i mean my god! i really like him if anything. i feel something more for him then i usually do for the boyfriends i get around here. i dont want to say i love him now cuz that shall Jenx me like it always does...so ill continue to say i like him alot. He knows that i have bounderies right now, but we can make out all the time hahaha. That was fun last night, i spent time with him and i didnt want to leave him. its weird though that i finally find someone and Trey is coming back into town, i dont know what to tell him. i dont want him to know because he thinks hes going to be with me. i just hope he finds a girl within a few days of showing up. Damn....i am scared that he will flip out when he finds out i have a boyfriend now. SORRI TREY!!!! He dont treat girls right so i shouldnt be with him ever neways. Besides that, if i had said no to Daniel, i dont know what my mood would be....but yea. So i really like my boyfriend he is cute, blue eyes, dark hair, 5'9 i think, maybe 139lbs, thin but not skinny and almost 17....blah i know for thoughs of you who hate dating younger but you know what, it happens so blah! lates yall!

god i cant figure out why but im so pissed off at Jackie, im going to go fucking Crazy. So all week she has been saying, She dont do this or she dont do that cuz shes an "Adult" now. Bullshit, im sorri but your fucking a child and you will always be as long as you act like that bullshit. Omg. i mean she dont do nuthin no more and shes always pissed off. i had fun i know i wasnt an adult but you know what...ugh....she is just pissing me the fuck off. i mean she sits there and acts like a 5 yr old all the time, then she bitches cuz she has no money or a home, Thats her own fucking choice, and people if i acted like that then please, Slap the shit out of me. I need it for talkin like that if i did. I know im no adult yet but im a hell of alot closer then she is. Peace out yalls. oh ya and i started my first payment toward my class ring. i owe 256.35 still on my ring. i cant wait to get it, im so Excited! hehehe. And i miss my new boyfriend, ive only spent like 36 hours away from him and im already going crazy without him. Hes awesome! lol. well thats all i guess, besides that hes sooooo cute...=D!!!!!

illness and New guy!
ok so over the weekand, i went out on Friday night to have some fun with my buddy Travis, Im scared to tel him but when we went up to the Hooka Bar, I met this guy named Daniel, He saw me greet with the guy, i had never met him before in my life. So then i took Travis home and Daniel called me. I talked to him for a little bit and then went to sleep. Well the nex day, he called me and i told him after my brothers wedding we could hang out. There was a bunch of fun with Tracy being at the wedding with me, To help me from being bored the whole time. Then my uncle was there and my aunt (which she danced with me while she was drunk and yelled in my ear, literally) then my grandma, and my moms cousins...So ya know. I dont even know lol. But neways so the wedding was a smash and then i went to Jeans, picked him up, Then took tracy home, Took him back home (he needed his check cashed) Then i left and drove to the Hooka Bar. Which was tons of fun. I sat around there with Daniel and Michael. Then i told them i was going to be back in a little bit, i was trying to get my check and get it cashed. But ya know....Neways, So Daniel came with me. He asked me, "on a scale of 1 to 10, what do you think of me?" i told him "as of right now your a ten...what about me?" he replied so perfectly "your over a ten" and he asked me some more questions, then he finally asked me "so uh will you go out with me?" and of coarse i said yes. Then since then we were making out like crazy, he tried to go further but i have more respect then that. We've just had some touchin and grabbin, Thats about all. Then i went home a little bit later, after visiting Tracy again. Then yesterday i woke up, asked my mom if i could go to Astroworld and that was a yes, Got 25$ from her. Then i left to get my check and get it cashed. Woot. Lastly i called Cody, Met up with him and thats when my Weekand Began to Really rise, just such a great weekand! woot! So then i called my now boyfriend! Woot! its so fun saying that! Well he got to come with us and we left on our trip to astroworld. When we got there though, It was so crowded, we got stuck in dead traffic for 30 minutes, It was gay! lol Well not gay but Retarded! Then we decided to go to the Galleria instead. Which was fun. We eat subway and then i found out a secret about my bf, im not saying what, for thoughs who know are my best friends. I trust them with my life so. Blah! neways though.... Whats to say, i had a great last night too, i hung out at the hooka again. With Daniel, Cody, jackie, Michael, Jackies bf, and Erik! Woot! So ya....i saw Jackie Nekked, Made out with her, AND she licked my nipple....o.o!!! Then everyone loved my ass cuz its as hard as a rock. So ya, Thn cody left and a little later we all left, I took Daniel home and met his mom, she is sweet. lastly we said our goodbyes and made out for like 10 minutes, i could tell he didnt wanna let me go. i feel the Sparks between us. Its so great. But ya, then Jackie came home with me and she met my mom and talked to her, Then we went to sleep and came to school this morning. The end....G'bye!

P.s. During all of this fun stuff, I called Brady to try to fix things with us, i shouldnt have though cuz he just pissed me off. I wish you would have just listened to me Brady. Ill always love you but i think the pain is finally gone, There is one day we could be back together but ive finally moved on....later.

God, kill me please...
Im sick of hating and loving Him. i want him to be happy and yet i want myself happy but i cant make us both happy. i dont want him angry with me but he is. I told him i dont wish to speak with him ever again but i dont know if thats true. i want to be his friend and someday more. i still tell people to this day i am going to live with him, im going to have him as mine again but thats not always true, i dont know the future, i just wish i could predict it. Well i wish to keep him unnamed, Even though i know almost everyone knows who im talking about. So if you leave a comment, Dont say his name please. Ill always love you, I know you dislike me right now but im sorri, i am me, noone can rule my life, it hurt me for you to still care because i love you so much...it hurts all day long. i just wish you could understand it, not talking to you makes it worse cuz i know just hearing Hello from you helps me through the day, to believe one day we will be again. i dont drink very often, Which last time i drank i had one Smirn off lol, not even enough to get Buzzed, I looked at it and shook my head in Disbelief, now i might drink with my brother Brian but thats because lol he has wanted me to since i was like 13. So ya....I love you always....Goodbye....

Taks...Die
Ok so i took my taks test today, Woot. I hope i passed cuz i dont wanna take that shit again! Ugh! i cant wait to be done with school. Oh yea and im not sure of why but im still angry with brady, something about how he said what he said to me just has kept me steamed and thinkin of him just makes it worse but i guess i can say it shall help me get over his bitch ass. Im sick of Loving him and knowing he loves someone else. its a fucking Bitch to be in pain 24 hours a day 7 days a week. i just want to feel happy again. Find a good sweet and Kind Guy like him, Which i know is hard but im only looking for someone perfect i guess. Trey wants to date me so he says and i found out last week that im lucky he didnt cum in me...Cuz i coulda gotten pregnant by his fuckin Bitch ass. lying Sack of shit! neways though, im not really angry im just bored lol. so ya, i get to Get out of School today, Leave straight for Tracys house, Then go get smokes, Then go and take tim home. Lastly then i am Taking Tracy to her Probation officer. Fun stuff huh? So i found out that Cody or Jo has stolen my money and im pissed but Cody gave me 6 bucks. So i dont know, they both are pointing Fingers but then they both apologized to me about it. So ya....Well thats all i guess. Later.

Regardless of age, of race, or of gender,
If you're tall or short, if you're plump or slender.
If you're smart or dumb, if you're straight, gay, or bi-,
This day is for YOU, and we'll now tell you why.

Nobody is happy, every day of their life.
Not an American Idol nor a Desperate House Wife.
Not MVP athletes, nor Oscar-winning stars.
Not rich CEOs, nor hot chicks at bars.

We all have our issues; all lives contain stress.
At some point, we're ALL, an emotional mess.
Ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-husbands, ex-wives.
There are people to get over in everyone's lives.

Breakups, divorces, rejection of all kinds.
There's lots of bad [stuff] we can't get off our minds.
You miss him. You need her. You just want them back.
Sad, angry, depressed, you're all out of whack.

If you got your ass dumped, or you got cheated on.
It won't help to flee to Azerbaijan.
It's all part of life; it will help you grow stronger.
But this "pity party" of yours can't last any longer.

As much as things suck, as bad as they get.
If you're fired from your job, if you're swimming in debt.
If you're aging or balding or get a cold sore,
Don't ever forget, that it could always suck more!

It's all about keeping the proper perspective.
Moving on, moving forward, is the primary objective.
You've got friends and loved ones to help you get through
But they can't do it all; it must start with you.

You can sit on your ass being sad and depressed.
Or you can choose to be strong, and do as we suggest.
March 9th is the day, to stand up and say:
"Screw that! It's done! It's Get Over It Day!"

-- Anonymous

Provided By Rejection hotline....Com

lots of stuff...
Well had sex this weekand, Fun shit. Hahahahaha....Then since then there hasnt been nuthin, i worked 4 hrs last night and then i went home. I have to get an Oil change today and air up my tires, then i need to go get my Halter Top Fitted so that ya...Lol its goin to be tons of Fun lmao. But yea, Im sitting in Geometry Right now. Bored, Going Crazy. Im just chillin though, man i need a caffine pill because im freakin sleepy. Three people left me comments on my Xanga which was awesome lol :-P! i want to go on Myspace Damn it and i cant, Shit! stupif Fers! Later!!!

Tracy...*sigh*
Tracy is going through hell right now, i love her so much and if i have to sit here and watch this shit everyday, im going to hurt someone that is hurting Her. Later....School sux, life sux.

Tracy...*sigh*
Tracy is going through hell right now, i love her so much and if i have to sit here and watch this shit everyday, im going to hurt someone that is hurting Her. Later....School sux, life sux.

No trust!
so here is my proof again, i have no trust in people and when i begin to trust them. They stop me from doing so. I shouldnt trust a soul. I dont know why i ever did. ugh! but yea. Im so glad i dont work today. I love it and tomorrow too. Days off is Great to me. I just honestly dont want to work anymore, or have like a month off so i can sit around and be bored again. Ill want to come to work after that hahahaha. ill be damn near broke. Oh well though. But yea, i began to write my love, Brady, today. It is so far almost 2 pages long and ill prolly continue you writing tomorrow but today my mind is too tired to even think about writing another line. I get to take home Jackie and Tim today. i already got the money from them both. Then my english four class is throwing a pizza party tomorrow. Great fun hahahaha. Well today there isnt going to be as much to say cuz im tired and i just wanna hit home. Lates!

P.s. Cody really pissed me off this morning by ignoring me when i was upset. Screw you Cody. Your not my true friend. liar!!!

School
Well i feel good about myself. im ahead in my math models class. i told on someone but i think it was for the best. I want him to remain in this school so i mean ya. So neways, Last night was crazy, i mean i took Kenny (brother zachs friend) home, then Zach home then Tim and lastly Jackie. By the time i was on my way home, it was already 4:30pm. i had work at 445 which i called in late. Later on i got to work, It was super busy for awhile. I helped on make line all night long too. I tried to quit smoking in one day, failed and it sucked. I want to quit so badly. If i can go a month without one because im stuck around my mom, then why cant i stop still? im mentally addicted, thats why. Oh well though. Ill get myself away from them soon enough, maybe its because of Brady, or maybe because i know he dont want me anymore. Whatever it is. i shall get myself over the hump on the ground. Well this entry is getting long enough hahahahaha. Maybe ill keep writing and see if i can write as much as before. I am throwing a second pizza party in my English 4 class on Thursday. That will be kool but i dont think im going to eat the pizza. i may eat the cheese stix but no pizza. Screw the pizza, i need to loose weight sooo badly. Even if some guys think im great how i am. Specially Justin lol. Neways though, i wanna meet jeremey. I think he will be a fun person, i think a little different from Justin. I just want to find someone i can trust and someone who can trust me. i want holding and kissing, i want happiness. Ugh is there a guy who can match this??? i also want someone who is funny but knows how to be serious when the time comes. i want him to agree with me when im angry about a matter. I want all these things and i know i cant have them all. Oh well, Like i said before...."Life sucks and then you die, So come on over and lets get high" I dont even smoke weed but the saying just makes sense to me....Lates!