:: 2005 11 May :: 3.52 pm

ah!
why the hell would you be that dumb?
it doesn't surprise me... it really doesn't. you would be that dumb to even think about it!


i wish once agian i could go away.
sadly, i can't.... i can't.

you are so stupid.....
i'm going to be with my girls next year and i'm really really happy.... it will be a lot of fun. oh and i'm singing at graduation next year! i'm glad i got that one cleared up too! score!!!
lindsey

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:: 2005 10 May :: 9.02 pm

lost today.
oh well. Mr. A said he is disaponited in our class and is worried about next year. I'll just plan graduation. The less for me is proally better anyways. i'm out of the drama... thats a plus.
anyways! keirra called and we really really wanna go up to the lake! so hopefully we can. i love her! she is missing her own prom and post parties to hang out w/ me.. ah... gotta love her.
well..... i taped americna idol b/c i was doing homeowrk.. gotta watch it now.. oh and eat dinner!
lindsey

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:: 2005 1 May :: 4.10 pm

prom was fun...... don't really wanna go detail by detail. it was just a lot of fun.
lindsey

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:: 2005 22 April :: 11.10 pm
:: Mood: frustrated

why
do you ever feel like you just want to leave. leave forever and never come back. you just want to start a new life. you know now what to do and what not to do. you know who to be firends with.
i do too much. why do i feel like i can handel it? i can't. i will eventually break down like tonight.
this is all i do...
-school
-voice
-job
-track
-RF court-
-student senate-
not to mention all the other stuff like planning for college, dreading the month of June, and dealing w/ my family.
all i want is my grandma in her house. i will never see her waving by her window agian. i knew i would miss. the last few years as we were pulling away i would think about how i take it for granted... even though i still did. i can close my eyes and see her standing there... blowing me kisses. danceing.... being my grandma. now she is in a nursing home. i should be grateful and i am... just not to the extent that i should be. i can always go back to my grandma's house and i will always know it will be there but... my grandma won't. she won't be there to greet you at the door.
i miss you.
i hate damn michigan. my parents arn't letting me go to whitehalll tomorrow b/c of the bad weather. i just ahhhhhhhh! why on April 23 should we be getting 6 inches of snow? i am seriously so angry. do you wanna know how i got through the last 2 weeks? i've been just dreaming bout how tomorrow was goign to be.
i just need summer. i do so much right now i just wanna call work and be like i can't do this anymore. i wanna stop track. i wanna skim by in school. stop w/ everything. just put everything on a hault. i can't handel it right now.
.... do i want summer to come? is that realy what i want or do i just see that as a possible way out? idk.... thats a thought. just a thought.
well i gotta go to bed.. but not reallly... because i have no plans.
why am i dual enrolling next year? i just thought of this. i'm claiming that i'm so busy but really i'm just racking it up even more.

i'm a loser. i need to stop. i must stop.

I need to go to bed. night.

lindsey

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:: 2005 15 April :: 6.50 pm

me and ashley need somthing to do.... so if ya wanna do somthing. call us. lol.
linds

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:: 2005 12 April :: 6.28 pm

well i made it to state all good.... no wrong turns. i'm really proud of myself.
i talked to keirra on the way home and ah. i love her. and we are better so we are going to show it. i'm usualy not like this but we are going to be the bomb this summer lol.
well i need a date for prom but i'm not going to freak out yet. not yet.
lindsey

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:: 2005 10 April :: 11.37 am

i don't feel good....... all i wanna do is sleep.
got back from flordia last night... i hate driving. i really honestly do. now i have to drive to State... by myself! i'm so scared... very very scared. i hope i don't get lost or anything.
so i'm in flordia.. and i really can't wait anymore for summer. like i just wanna see all my friends.. i wanna go out on a boat into lake michigan.... i just want summer. now that i'm in a crummy mood i want it more... i also decided i want to see him. if i see him then maybe i'll feel as if summer is closer.. idk.. i just can't wait to do stuff... like have huge bonfires.. oh the hollow... sadly i won't be attending this year but thats ok becasue a fire is a fire. i just can't wait.. mostly i just can't wait to sail. i saw boats going out into the gulf and i wanted to jump on them and sail.ah! i wanna sail. i wanna hang out.... i want summer!!!
well more bout flrorida later.. gotta unpack :(
love to all!
lindsey

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:: 2005 27 March :: 4.38 pm

my dad's class is going crazy. he compared them to savages thur. because they all had rulers and were hitting themselves.. girls coming in w/ not appropriate things.. ah! i'm just worried.
anyways... easter.. happy easter everyone! i feel bad for my mom. she had this whole dinner planned but now my grandma is in the hospital and so we just ate w/ mom, ryan, david and i. kinda depressing. i got like no sleep this weekend but thats ok because it was all worth it. state plays 5 today.. they beat duke! whoa!
my mom is like going nuts. she wants me to have mostly everything packed for florida by tonight. what happend to me wait til thur? i'm upset! i love waiting for the last min. i get this rush.. oh procrasting... gotta love it!
well gotta go.
lindsey

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:: 2005 13 March :: 4.03 pm

i had like the best sat. night ever in so long! like it was just like summer. we had tank tops on! lol.... it was great. i had like my best friends w/ me kathlean, keirra and mary.. it was kathlean and kierra's birthday!! big 18!!! ah it was exciting..lol. but yeah i just had an awesome time.
this is going to be a busy busy week. i'im so glad i had time to just let everything let loose. we had no plans! but soon our night was filled. this is the week that track and the play overlap... the week of the play. last one! yes! huzza! the only sucky part is that i'm loosing my voice. :(
so yeah it will be busy one. oh but i just had so much fun. i so wish we could of done more.... we were all up for it. so yeah i'm so excited. but i shouldn't be because i won't have that good of weekend in a long time. i was just in a great mood.:) so yeah ok i'm done! ttyl bye!! i love you all!! *mwah!
lindsey

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:: 2005 11 March :: 6.15 pm
:: Mood: disappointed

there was a girl in my dad's class who had cigs and inteded to lit and smoke them!!!! my dad doesn't teach high schooll.. 5th grade!!! how crazy and twisted is that? a 5th grader smoking! i just can't get over it.. it is absoutly nuts!
lindsey

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:: 2005 6 March :: 8.10 pm

i'm updating because ashley told me to. lol.
i don't have more to say other than.. hmm.. i can't belive i actrually thought somthing could happen agian between us.. i was dumb.
linds

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:: 2005 1 March :: 1.17 pm

i was just playing the piano.. and i just relized that i have never played the piano infront of anyone other then mrs. spahr.. but she was my piano teacher. now i'm gong to sing and play infront of the whole school... i'm flipping out! oh well this is a fear that i need to get over.
lindsey

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:: 2005 28 February :: 6.34 pm

and here comes the deppresion...
ah!!! today.. i was fine in the begining.. yeah i felt like shit and got no sleep even though i did go to sleep at 8 30! but heaven forbide i get a good nights sleep. my cold sucks. i hate having a cold.
play was fine until 3 40.... then people just start to annoy the crap out of me! i look at them and i don't understand. don't people know how to grow up? oh and i hate when the little freshman give me crap.. but yeah people need to grow up! so i'm not in a good mood at all!! and i finally get out of the practice.. come home and by the way .. lets just not plow today right?
so i come home not even home for a half hour and my mom is making her usually snotty little comments. you would think she would shut the hell up! i don't see her at school from 7 15- 5 .. everyday. ah i hate the musical so much! i honestly don't even think i wanna do it next year. everything and everyone just piss me off to the point where i come home everday w/ a head ache and in a bitch mood. i hate coming home bitchy. i hate being a bitch..... but ah it seems like every little thing makes me that much more mad. ah!!! i just wanna get away... not just for a week or a night. i just want to leave forever!
i'm sick.. i just wanna want a hug... i just want someone to hold me.. oh jeez here are these thoughts of longing for that "special someone." no i don't need a guy. think how much stress a guy would add... no.
ah! my mom is a bitch.. i'm not eating w/ them because they are having fish. i don't want fish! i HATE fish. i always had! and she expects me to help her out? i wonder what goes through her mind. ah! they upset me. my mom upsets me greatly.
lindsey

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:: 2005 27 February :: 4.51 pm

so much death.

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:: 2005 26 February :: 4.03 pm

this could be a very bad thing or a very good thing.
i'm leaning more to bad, but i may not be able to help myself.
lindsey

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