nerdalert
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2003 8 October :: 3.29pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: magic stick....dont ask i dont know how it got in my head
i got my haircut last night....woo hoo. i got it cut about a month ago and it already grew at least 1/2 an inch....the gel woudlnt hold it up anymore. :-( im really bored right now so i started up this journal business.
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 8 October :: 10.52am
i am disappointed in you california
4 Lies |
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 7 October :: 8.26pm
song of the day
tori amos - crazy
Not sayin
Not charmed at all
Not sayin
that you weren't worth
the fall
But then I was alone when
I knew it was real
Down the canyon
when I knew I had to come
To thie line
Through the dawn
To the light
To the turn
When you said-
You could drive
all night
Drive all night
So I let Crazy
take a spin
The I let Crazy
settle in
Kicked off my shoes
Shut reason out
He said "first let's just
unzip your religion
down"
Found that I
I craved it all
Saw me melt
into your
native shelter
Where you carved my
name
Paper tigers scare me
and came
Alive
Through the dawn
To the light
To the turn
When you said-
You could drive
all night
Drive all night
So I let Crazy
take a spin
The I let Crazy
settle in
Kicked off my shoes
Shut reason out
He said "first let's just
unzip your religion
down"
So I let Crazy
pull me in
The I let Crazy
take his spin
Kicked off my shoes
Shut reason out
He said "first let's just
unzip your religion
down
Heard that you were once
Temptation's girl"
And as soon
as you have
rearranged the mess
in your head
He will show up looking
sane
perfectly sane
If I know Crazy
2 Lies |
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 7 October :: 5.35pm
:: Music: tori amos
i wrote this today under a tree at school :oD
it's weird how in society you should be with someone. whatever happened to focusing on being happy? and who says you need to be with someone to be happy? that's crap. right now i'm fine with not being with someone. actually, i prefer it. that whole process of getting to know some inside out. it's so intimate. i mean, that should only happen a few times in your life. and it takes so long. i don't want to do that at all right now. i don't have the need to put the effort into it. and it's a process that should just happen. it should be over time too. i also think it should happen out of friendship. whatever happened to being friends first? the way people date nowadays s forcing that process. nothing like that should be rushed. but then i have always believed that falling in love just happens. especially when you least expect it. don't look for it. be patient. and so far, i've been right ;-)
2 Lies |
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 6 October :: 10.54pm
:: Mood: kinda silly but lovey and nostalgic
:: Music: tori amos - scarlet's walk
paper tigers
i'm not sure what my song for the day should be. i was thinking "wednesday" by tori... but i dunno. it's so fucking cute though. this cd is the BEST. and i'm still amazed by the concert.. and that was months ago.
speaking of concerts, i'm still very very bitter about missing the white stripes. and the deftones are gonna be here. missing that too. not having money blows. don't lecture me on the job thing either. i know okay :oP
ok my song of the day is "your cloud" by tori amos
Where the river cross
crosses
the lake
Where the words
Jump off my
pen and
into your pages
Do you think
just like that
You can divide
This
You as yours
Me as mine
to before we were
Us
if the rain
Has
to seperate from
Itself
does it say
"pick out your cloud"?
pick out your cloud
If there is a Horizontal Line
that runs through the MAP
off your body straight through
the Land shooting up
right through my heart
Will this Horizontal Line
when asked know how to find
Where you end
where I begin
"pick out your cloud"
How Light can
play and form a Ring
of Rain that can change
bows into arrows
(I found a thrill)
Who we were
isn't lost
Before we were
Us
Inidigo in his
own
Blue always
knew
this
if the rain
Has
to seperate from
Itself
does it say
"pick out your
cloud"?
pick out your
cloud
If there is a Horizontal Line
that runs through the MAP
off your body straight through
the Land shooting up
right through my heart
Will this Horizontal Line
when asked know how to find
Where you end
where I begin
"pick out your
cloud"
if the rain
Has
to seperate from
Itself
does it say
pick out your
cloud
4 Lies |
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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cowboy67
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2003 6 October :: 9.57pm
:: Music: tori amos
sounds like me, doesn't it?
The Idealist Temperament
Idealists want to search for Self, to become themselves, to have a goal, a purpose in life, to be self-actualized, to be and become real, to be what they are meant to be and to have an identity which is uniquely theirs, to become self-actualized into a perfect whole and to have an identity which is perfectly unique, to have meaning, to have their significance appreciated, or at the very least, recognized as existing, to have integrity, that is unity, with no facade, no mask, no pretense, no sham, no playing of roles, to be genuine, to communicate authentically, to be in harmony with the inner experiences of self, to avoid a life of bad faith, to live a life of significance, making a difference in the world, to experience life as a drama, to be sensitive to the subtle gestures and metaphoric behavior in relationships, to help others become kinder, warmer, and more loving human beings, to reform the world, to romanticize their experiences, their lives, and the experiences and lives of others (Keirsey, 1984, pp. 57-66; cf., Heineman (NF)).
Positive attributes: altruistic, analytical, authentic, behaved, believing, benevolent, calm, caring, chart maker, communicative, compassionate, compliant, conscientious, considerate, creative, cultured, deep, deliberate, dependable, detail conscious, detailed, disciplined, emotional, empathic, enthused, enthusiastic, ethical, even-tempered, exacting, faithful, fervent, genuine, helpful, idealistic, industrious, inspired, intuitive, loyal, musical, nurturing, orderly, organized, perfectionist, persistent, personal, planner, pleasing, precise, prophetic, psychic, relating, reliable, respectful, scheduled, self-sacrificing, sensitive, serious, sincere, spiritual, subjective, sympathetic, systematic, thoughtful, understanding, unifier, unworldly, visionary, warm, well-behaved, well-organized.
Negative attributes: alienated, bashful, confused, credulous, critical, depressed, detached, difficult, estranged, exacting, fussy, guilt prone, hard to please, hypochondriac, indecisive, inflexible, introvert, judgmental, loner, moody, moralistic, mystical, negative attitude, overly sensitive, perfectionistic, pessimistic, picky, resentful, too sensitive, skeptical, self-absorbed, self-critical, self-righteous, stuffy, suspicious, touchy, unforgiving, unpopular, unrealistic, withdrawn, worry prone.
1 Lie |
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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cowboy67
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2003 6 October :: 2.20pm
:: Mood: lethargic
:: Music: zwan
there's never the time to write down these lines
matter can neither be destroyed nor created. nothing is ever really gone. in much the same way, no one is ever really dead. as soon as you meet a person, they're etched in your head. they're inside you. and they never leave (even if you "forget" them). death is just a separation of matter, not an end to it. and death isn't always the end of life. someone can still be alive, but if you never talk to them again, they're dead. because everything is relative to you.
some people get out of bed because their jobs excite them. that doesn't really make sense to me, because when i hear the word "job," i automatically associate it with negativity. i don't want my job to be a job. i hope that there will be something so inspiring, so exciting, that i'll look forward to doing it everyday. with me, it's going to have to be. i'm serious but i don't take myself so seriously as to believe i'm living just because i'm making money.
my head hurts. i'm glad billy corgan is going to do solo work. kaprice. that'd be cool. i'm scared though. that was such a good movie. i don't know what the hell is going on. slow, like the growth of a mountain. zwan reminds me of february.
i've been crying more easily for the past... year (?) i think. i don't know if it's because i'm older, wiser, more experienced in relationships with family, friends, etc. or what... but movies and songs affect me more than they used to, or more than i ever allowed them to in the past. i never cried. i cry sometimes now, while watching a tv show or a movie. perhaps i've just been more aware of the delicate nature of life, how quickly and randomly things can change. a lot of that has happened in the past year. maybe i'm lying, not intentionally of course, but maybe my memory is all screwed up. cuz it's not like i was ever some robot numb to all emotion. i mean, let's not kid ourselves. i just feel way more sentimental nowadays. maybe i was always this way but never noticed, or cared. i don't know what i'm saying. neither does a chinese man. i guess that doesn't do much for the betterment of hamburgers.
i wrote about 4 entries since the last, but i put them all under "private." i never followed through in writing something worthwhile about what i meant to - i've been sick and out of it. and i don't believe i should write something if i'm not feeling it at the moment - that's such a lie, it's so fake. stuff is building up in my head though, so one day, i'll write it down.
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 6 October :: 9.00am
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: the hives
nifty survey
A - Act your age: in spurts
B - Born on what day of the week: sunday.... tuesday. something lame like that
C - Chore you hate: anything that involves me picking up after other people
D - Dad's name: frank
E - Essential makeup item: chapstick.. if that's really makeup
F - Favorite actors/actresses: john cusack, james spader, maggie and jake gyllenhall
G - Gold or silver: silver
H - Hometown: rancho cucamonga
I - Instruments you play: uh
J - Job title: student bitch
K - Kids: no
L - Living arrangements: with both parents
M - Mom's name: tracey
N - Number of socks you own: not that many actually, i'll have to buy some more before winter starts..
O - Overnight hospital stays: i wasn't the patient, but i was there
P - Phobia: clowns, spiders, death
Q - Quote you like: it's up there ^
R - Religious affiliation: umm
S - Siblings: nope
T - Time you woke up today: 8:00ish
U - Unusual Habits: messing with my eyebrows, hair, nails
V - Vicious thing you have done: vicious? i'm not like a tiger or something
W - Worst habit: procrastination
X - X-rays you've had: nothin
Y - Your favourite season: summer
Z - Zodiac Sign: cancer
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 5 October :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: normal
:: Music: practice closing credits
song of the day
the hives - knock knock
This time you got it all figured out.
Think it's gonna work okay but I'll make sure it won't cause I'll be standing in your way.
So wait a minute if you will.
I ain't got no time but time to kill.
When the ground starts getting hot it doesn't matter if you run or not.
This time you've seen it done before.
This time you're gonna get it right.
Once more you fail miserably and then,
then you do it all over again.
So wait a minute if you will.
I ain't got no time but time to kill.
When the ground starts getting hot it doesn't matter if you run or not.
You're once a failure and twice a fool.
I will - knock knock.
If you won't - knock knock.
You're damned - knock knock.
If you don't - knock knock.
You did fine - knock knock.
Now you're mine - knock knock.
You avoided everything except for me.
I'm busting in won't pick the lock I'm busting in - knock knock.
I've seen your sort before.
You are nothing new cause my name is failure and failure is gonna come to you.
Save me lord and I will.
This time I got the time to kill.
When the ground starts getting hot it doesn't matter if you run or not.
You're once a failure and twice a fool.
I will - knock knock.
If you won't - knock knock.
You're damned - knock knock.
If you don't - knock knock.
You did fine - knock knock.
Now you're mine - knock knock.
You avoided everything except for me.
I'm busting in won't pick the lock I'm busting in - knock knock.
knock knock I'm busting in knock knock
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 5 October :: 11.44am
:: Music: interpol
aleeve cold and sinus is your friend
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 4 October :: 7.52pm
:: Mood: sniffly
song of the day
the who - my generation
People try to put us d-down (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Just because we get around (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
I hope I die before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
Why don't you all f-fade away (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
And don't try to dig what we all s-s-say (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
I'm not trying to cause a big s-s-sensation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
I'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-g-generation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
Why don't you all f-fade away (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
And don't try to d-dig what we all s-s-say (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
I'm not trying to cause a b-big s-s-sensation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
I'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-generation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
People try to put us d-down (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Just because we g-g-get around (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Yeah, I hope I die before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 3 October :: 12.00pm
song of the day
tori amos - nothern lad
had a northern lad
well not exactly had
he moved like the sunset
god who painted that
first he loved my accent
how his knees could bend
i thought we'd be ok
me and my molasses
but i feel something is wrong
but i feel this cake just isn't done
don't say that you don't
and if you could see me now
said if you could see me now
girls you've got to know
when it's time to turn the page
when you're only wet because of the rain
you know it's time to change
he don't show much these days
it gets so fucking cold
i loved his secret places
but i can't go anymore
"you change like sugar cane"
says my northern lad
i guess you go too far
when pianos try to be guitars
i feel the west in you
and i feel it's falling apart too
don't say that you don't
and if you could see me now
said if you could see me now
girls you've got to know
when it's time to turn the page
when you're only wet because of the rain
you know it's time to change
when you're only wet
because of the rain
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 2 October :: 12.00pm
song of the day
hot hot heat - no, not now
Oh no, she's not a secret now.
But, nobody cares.
The wolves have smelled her scent.
Some of us wouldn't be lying if we said were trying too hard.
But, it all works out in the end.
Some of us would be trying too hard to begin lying.
But... but, it seems to all work out in the end.
Nobody likes a child who complains and I won't be that child anymore.
2 Lies |
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 1 October :: 12.00pm
song of the day
deftones - fist
Hello (memory, lover)
You are mine
I get everything
I need you
And someday
I'll be with her
I'll be with you
I will
I'm (so dead)
You're the first star
You're the one who sees it all
I know
I'm so tired
And sick
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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buttercup954
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2003 30 September :: 12.00pm
song of the day
ben kweller - no reason
Let me get lost.
I'll drive you around 'till I run out of gas.
Find me a boss.
There are ripples in my tea cause an
earthquake's coming.
And there's people meeting on Mars.
And people driving in their cars.
And kids are laughing under the stars today.
Let me go hide.
Find a box to put BK inside.
Things are so well.
We're blowing shit up only you could tell.
And there's people meeting on Mars.
And people driving in their cars.
And kids are sleeping under the stars today.
no reason reason
There's no reason reason
There's no reason reason
There's no reason to cry.
I'm going against
Every person that I once walked sith.
Things are happening.
My cat is sleeping and my jade tree's dying.
And there's people meeting on Mars.
And people crashing in their cars.
And kids are kissing under the stars today.
no reason reason
There's no reason reason
There's no reason reason
There's no reason to cry.
no reason reason
There's no reason reason
There's no reason reason
There's no reason...
no reason reason
There's no reason reason
There's no reason reason
There's no reason to cry. (say goodbye)
Fact and fiction work as a team.
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