:: 2008 15 October :: 4.25 pm

I am withdrawing from chemistry. It is going to make me a happier person.

I'm taking French and three literary theory classes next semester. Probably.

Do you know?

:: 2008 16 October :: 7.58 am

Monday.

Math at nine. Chemistry exam at ten that I feel like I'm going to fail, but I can't afford to.

French at one.

Follow up appointment with the doctor at three. Maybe I'll know what's going on then.

SGA at seven, meeting with Brothers at eight, eboard at nine, membership education meeting.

Oh, and I have to buy toilet paper sometime.

AHHHHHGGG!

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:: 2008 7 October :: 12.27 pm

I got a straight A on my contemporary theory paper about Existentialism.

Yay.

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:: 2008 6 October :: 3.57 pm

I'm finally getting into the swing of things this semester. My French Prof. told me I was doing fine in response to my comments about how I don't feel comfortable speaking in class or volunteering yet on my first participation review. I have things going with the Fraternity and I went to Mu Delta's (the chapter at Western) first degree on Saturday night. I have everything prepared for the chapter field representative visit when she comes the first week of November, and all in all, things are going well.

I have my follow up appointment with the gastrointerologist in a week and I turn twenty one in two months.

I still hate chemistry, but I'm going to stick it out because I have to. I'm doing alright in math, and I still don't have a graded paper back from my English class.

If I could live without the thought of death,
Forgetful of time's waste, the soul's decay,
I would not ask for other joy than breath,
With light and sound of birds and the sun's ray.
I could sit on untroubled day by day
Watching the grass grow, and the wild flowers range
From blue to yellow and from red to grey
In natural sequence as the seasons change.
I could afford to wait, but for the hurt
Of this dull tick of time which chides my ear.
But now I dare not sit with loins ungirt
And staff unlifted, for death stands too near.
I must be up and doing -- ay, each minute.
The grave gives time for rest when we are in it.

-Wilfrid Blunt

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:: 2008 2 October :: 12.39 pm
:: Mood: annoyed

Classes, health, everything is quite overwhelming at the moment.

I had my scope last Friday. I was going to update something about it, but I was still too high from the stuff they gave me and then I took a four hour long nap.

She told me that I don't have an ulcer, and they took some biopsies of my stomach lining/bacteria to test for super acidity. She said that I might need a CAT scan. My follow up appointment is a week from Monday.

Classes. French. Je ne comp pas. J'aime la francais, mais je deteste l'examens. I have a 79% in the class right now. I keep on failing all of the quizzes because we take them after five minutes of review. I think I'm doing better than a lot of people in the class, though.

Chemistry. I would drop it if I could.

Contemporary Literary Thought. I've only written one paper, which was two weeks ago, and I haven't gotten it back yet. There is a TON of theory and philosophy. I feel like I need a philosophy minor to know what's going on. I like my New Criticism, and it's definitely NOT that.

Math. It's just a lot of work.

I can't wait until next semester when I'm taking two English classes and a political science class along with my next installment of French. I think this semester is going to be my rut semester and I'll be happy if I pull all B's.

I think I'm taking History of Literary Criticism this summer and that excites me.

Do you know?

:: 2008 30 September :: 2.01 pm

Rueben,

My phone won't let me call anyone. If you need me- I'm in Pearce on the fourth floor in the computer lab, and I'll be checking woohu.

If not, I'll see you at home around three or three thirty.

Do you know?

:: 2008 23 September :: 12.39 pm

Time is slowly slipping through my fingers like a silken cloth.

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:: 2008 17 September :: 12.25 pm
:: Mood: hungry

So, I finally went and saw a specialist (gastrointerologist). I couldn't play last week in band because I was so nauseated and I finally got fed up with everything, so I went and saw a regular doctor at university health services and they referred me to a specialist in town.

I went on Monday and saw her: I'm having an GI ultra sound today at three thirty to rule out any possibilities of enlarged things (like my gull bladder) and I'm having a scope a week from Friday. The scope is where they shove a camera down my throat to look at my stomach and esophagus; I will be asleep when they do it.

For now I'm on Protonix in the morning to help to try to heal any errosion I've had, and Zantac at night to reduce the acid in my stomach.

The specialist said it's probably not an ulcer, but that the medication I was on (over the past year) probably relaxed the sphincter between my esophagus and my stomach allowing acid to come up in my throat. She said there's a strong likelihood that I will have acid reflux disease for the rest of my life if the sphincter doesn't heal.

I can't eat:
gum
tomato based foods
spicy foods
large meals
food high in fat
fried food
alcohol
coffee
caffeine
carbonated beverages

So, there it is. I'll get poked and prodded a bit more in the next few weeks: my follow up appointment is on October third.

Weight lost as of today: 66 pounds (scary)


On to french class (which is also scary).

3 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2008 7 September :: 8.20 am

Wheatland was great. It's always great.

I'm throwing myself into a busy week again; classes, work, the fraternity.

I made first chair in University Band for the first time in a year and I get many solos, one of which is a montage of Raisins and Almonds-a song which I played many a time in my youth practicing.

My health is improving. My aciphex trial is almost done, and I'm better, but not totally healed. Going to Wheatland screwed me up a bit: it's always two steps forward, one step back. I think once I'm done I'm going to go on Prilosec for a while to help it heal all the way.

Wheatland pictures to be on facebook soon (whenever Jessie gets them up).

Mike Gravel.

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:: 2008 29 August :: 10.46 pm

Ummm...
So, Contemporary Literary Thought=me reading Satre until I fall asleep for the past two nights, and tonight.

I likes.

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:: 2008 23 August :: 3.28 pm

French is scary.

1 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2008 20 August :: 11.41 am

Ummm... I make kick ass caramelized carrots and stuffed mushroom caps? Yep.

I'm investigating grad school: classes and such. I don't know. BAH.

i don't wanna go to work. i don't wanna.

Do you know?

:: 2008 18 August :: 9.23 pm

Rueben and I just got back from a long walk. It was quite pleasant, except for the swarms of bugs by the ponds.

I have another day off tomorrow! However, I do have to work Friday night, which is another move-in day. Boo.

Ellen is here and moved in, but she's at band camp all day.

I have a ton of food in the fridge leftover from band camp meals. Luckily, I can actually eat some of it now. Medicine is a good thing.

Do you know?

:: 2008 15 August :: 10.44 am
:: Mood: chipper

Being overly confident leads me to acting in ways that are not calculated, in ways that are true. Being confident leads me to act like a fool.

I'm going to work soon. Work. Work.

I guess I'll have some money this year. That would be nice since my college education is financed out of government loans. Maybe I'll know what it's like to have some money for a year or two before I have to start paying them off.

I'm being pessimistic.

One of the guys I work with at the Mt. Pleasant Meijer asked me if I would be a witness at his wedding if they opened up Massachusetts to out of state gay couples getting married. I guess right now you have to be a resident (old law from the 1800's so the South wouldn't get mad when Massachusetts wed inter-racial couples) to get married in Massachusetts-which includes gay marriage. Since they are residents of Michigan, and not Massachusetts, as soon as the law changes, we're going. It'll probably be around the first of the year. Needless to say, I feel extremely honored.

I was also informed that I might be getting the service desk trainer position, which is not a big deal at all, except that I get paid twenty five cents more an hour to sit with new people up in the learning center and warn them about angry people demanding the Michigan Scanning Award when they aren't suppose to get it. It won't take any extra time, and I won't really have any more responsibility than I do right now, which is absolutely fine with me.

I started taking my aciphex this morning. I hope that it works. I'm at the end of my rope with food. I just want to eat it all!! [wow, do I sound like a fatty now, or what?!]

On the up side, I'm wearing some pants right now that I've never been able to wear because they were too small when I bought them (when I was fifteen!).

Sixty two pounds down- hopefully no more!

2 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2008 14 August :: 9.06 pm

I'm in Mt. Pleasant. I'm working. I'm going to the library every morning because my computer doesn't like the rented charter modem and I get too frustrated to sit on the phone with at "Tech" person who I can't understand and repeats everything I say to them. Might as well just get a parrot.

I made lemon bars and gave some to Chris so I wouldn't feel guilty about asking him to use his computer. I took them to work, too, so don't think I'm that neurotic.

I haven't been able to eat for the past couple days because my ulcer has been acting up. My body is really stressed out from moving and working and the tests I went through earlier this month. I'm going to start taking my aciphex tonight. The doctor said that if it didn't get better fast enough or got worse, to start taking it. I guess it's now. I just want to be able to eat more than a bite of a protein powerbar without getting nauseated.

I work until Sunday, I volunteer at Central's band camp on Monday and Tuesday, Rueben comes Sunday night/Monday morning. School starts a week from Monday. First Kappa Kappa Psi eboard meeting is that Monday night; first general meeting is that Thursday. Wheatland is the second weekend of school, Rush starts the Tuesday after that, closed Rush is that Thursday, First Degree is Sunday; then it may slow down.

Oh, and I have to get t-shirts going for the Chapter, and I have to buy gatorade for band camp. Did you know they made gatorade powder that has like 100 servings? Yeah. I didn't know that.

Okay, so, in closing, I have to admit only this:

I love fan.

Do you know?