Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them
so last night nic told me something that really made sense. if you're upset about something or constantly worrying about something...don't. set aside 30 minutes of your day to actively think about it and to do what you can (if anything) to make it better. after that 30 minutes is up LET IT GO! for that day because otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy.
i really should start doing this. it's not easy though because thoughts easily pass through your mind that you don't intend, but i guess you just have to work on controlling it.
i realize i'm in a semi-crappy place right now, but maybe everyday ahead of me, i can do a little something to make it better.
today, i went through my finances and wrote in my planner all my bill due dates and amounts that automatically come out of my checking account..maybe it seems obvious or trivial but i don't keep track of that stuff usually very well and this will help me be a little less worried about finances. +1 for the day...
ps-i really appreciate the advice given on previous entries. it truly helped
I can't even explain it, it's too long and it makes me too disappointed in myself.
The only thing in life that made me feel good about myself and accomplished and hopeful for the future was speech pathology, and i've slowly just majorly fucked it all up.
i'm so lost, i wish i could turn back time and do things differently but i know it can't. and i'm too ashamed to admit all the wrong/bad i've done in school and with potential letters of rec. from professors that are on the admissions board. i'm an idiot and i feel like i've lost all that i worked for.
My life is set for approximately the next two years. Hopefully, with little to no deviation. I'm almost done with my first semester of graduate school. I just have about 14 pages to complete before the end of the semester next week.
I'm slated to graduate with my Master of Arts in English Language and Literature in May 2013. I've been offered (and I accepted) a position to teach two sections of English 101: Freshman Composition as a Graduate Assistant. I even got hired by the University and all. I get a small (small) stipend, and a tuition waver for up to 20 credits per year.
I really want to teach when I graduate. I know that I will probably teach composition (hopefully at a community college) for a few years, and then I'll think about a PhD program. I'll see when I get there. I'll also be able to get a job as a grant writer for an organization, as I will be trained in that by the time I graduate.
Things are going. Things are happening. Good things.
Several new posts from some old friends. It's nice to see that everyone is unsure about thier lives. Who knew we would all be dealing with such "adult" issues nigh on ten years ago.
I've been waiting
Waiting under things
That rise in the morning
I've been holding
Holding back so long
You can own it
Take it off my hands
Do me a favor
Nothin wasted
Just fingerfucked and
Busted up all at once
I'm so lost out on the highway
With no direction left to go
Everyday sit up and wonder
Where it was I started from