[obsolete]

:: 2008 17 August :: 11.42pm

i dont know how to feel
i am home alone at the moment, tj is up in Mi for his party and i miss him horribly. so that "friend" that i had who was supposed to be in my wedding be decided her stupid ass was more important a basically quit on me. she went to a friends wedding in MI with her BF and wore the dress i picked out for her to wear in my wedding. AND I AM PISSED!! here she is having fun in a dress that should make her sad. i know its stupid to say but god damnit im mad that she ruined a good friendship cause she couldnt act like a fucking adult.... people are so fucking stupid

1 think they know | Do you know?

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2008 17 August :: 8.27pm

Why do people think they don't have to be responsible for their own kids? Why do people think they dobt have to be responsible for themselves? Why do people think you are being rude or asking too much when you are just simply asking them to follow the rules of YOUR house? Its my apartment you are a freaking guest.. If I should even call you that.. In MY HOUSE! Sorry but that means you follow my rules or you can fucking leave. Just because you think you are some tough guy gangster whatever doesn't mean you don't have to answer someone when they tell you to take care of the mess you made! And no! Im not gonna fucking watch your daughter for you! Get a job! Maybe then you can pay me to do it! But until then I won't watch your daughter when you have nothing better to do but drink.

Ughghghghhgghgh people are so stupid.

phil-himself

:: 2008 16 August :: 1.47am

tropic thunder was hilarious

3 think they know | Do you know?

2 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2008 15 August :: 10.44am
:: Mood: chipper

Being overly confident leads me to acting in ways that are not calculated, in ways that are true. Being confident leads me to act like a fool.

I'm going to work soon. Work. Work.

I guess I'll have some money this year. That would be nice since my college education is financed out of government loans. Maybe I'll know what it's like to have some money for a year or two before I have to start paying them off.

I'm being pessimistic.

One of the guys I work with at the Mt. Pleasant Meijer asked me if I would be a witness at his wedding if they opened up Massachusetts to out of state gay couples getting married. I guess right now you have to be a resident (old law from the 1800's so the South wouldn't get mad when Massachusetts wed inter-racial couples) to get married in Massachusetts-which includes gay marriage. Since they are residents of Michigan, and not Massachusetts, as soon as the law changes, we're going. It'll probably be around the first of the year. Needless to say, I feel extremely honored.

I was also informed that I might be getting the service desk trainer position, which is not a big deal at all, except that I get paid twenty five cents more an hour to sit with new people up in the learning center and warn them about angry people demanding the Michigan Scanning Award when they aren't suppose to get it. It won't take any extra time, and I won't really have any more responsibility than I do right now, which is absolutely fine with me.

I started taking my aciphex this morning. I hope that it works. I'm at the end of my rope with food. I just want to eat it all!! [wow, do I sound like a fatty now, or what?!]

On the up side, I'm wearing some pants right now that I've never been able to wear because they were too small when I bought them (when I was fifteen!).

Sixty two pounds down- hopefully no more!

:: 2008 14 August :: 9.06pm

I'm in Mt. Pleasant. I'm working. I'm going to the library every morning because my computer doesn't like the rented charter modem and I get too frustrated to sit on the phone with at "Tech" person who I can't understand and repeats everything I say to them. Might as well just get a parrot.

I made lemon bars and gave some to Chris so I wouldn't feel guilty about asking him to use his computer. I took them to work, too, so don't think I'm that neurotic.

I haven't been able to eat for the past couple days because my ulcer has been acting up. My body is really stressed out from moving and working and the tests I went through earlier this month. I'm going to start taking my aciphex tonight. The doctor said that if it didn't get better fast enough or got worse, to start taking it. I guess it's now. I just want to be able to eat more than a bite of a protein powerbar without getting nauseated.

I work until Sunday, I volunteer at Central's band camp on Monday and Tuesday, Rueben comes Sunday night/Monday morning. School starts a week from Monday. First Kappa Kappa Psi eboard meeting is that Monday night; first general meeting is that Thursday. Wheatland is the second weekend of school, Rush starts the Tuesday after that, closed Rush is that Thursday, First Degree is Sunday; then it may slow down.

Oh, and I have to get t-shirts going for the Chapter, and I have to buy gatorade for band camp. Did you know they made gatorade powder that has like 100 servings? Yeah. I didn't know that.

Okay, so, in closing, I have to admit only this:

I love fan.

2 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2008 14 August :: 2.45pm

Random ranting, read if you really want to but it makes no sense
at the current moment i am about to fuking burst!! im so fuckin mad that nothing could make me happy!!! we have no money cause i just paid the church the alomst 700.00 we owed them for this f*ing wedding now we have like 300.00 in the bank, bills to pay, bills over due cause someone mixes them up with random paperwork and dosent tell me they are here, and he needs to make it up to MI this weekend. some how i could have never fathomed this, i was hoping for help from my parents to pay for some part but since my dad has no jog i have to pay for it all and it is rally kicking mya ss. a few days ago everything was ok but since that check hasnt come yet i am going sooooo far into debt its horrible. not necessarily into debt cause i dont owe really anyone tons, but the money i need for next week isnt here and i dont know how i am going to pay for anyhting and i am waiting for the fucking 3 grand to get here already and even if i do get it tomorrow i cant deposit it until monday cause thats how bad my life sucks balls and tj thinks he cant go to MI for his party and i dont know how is going to get there and back and all this shit is making my fuckin crazzzzzzy..... DRAMA of the worst kind and i am ready for it be over~!

and the funny thing about it is i just wrote about how good i am with $$$ god this is fuckied up.

:: 2008 13 August :: 5.46pm

so nathan comes home today,,, im happy and sad all in the same feeling

:: 2008 12 August :: 11.36pm

either me and tj are just that f*ing awesome or really really lucky.

everyone around us is having $$$ issues, my parents, his dad all out friends, but in all honesty we are doing good. we oay our bills, and never bounce out checking account, i must be good it has to be it!!!lololo

in other news, 11more days until our wedding and its coming toooooo fast i have soo much to do yet its crazy. to all of u who wont be there...WTF!!! i understand but u are all going to miss a big party.

its amazing how u realize how much u truly love some one when you spend a weekend apart. i could not wait until i got home. and since ihave been home everytime he's around i get all happy and giddy n such. absence truly makes the heart grow fonder

3 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2008 12 August :: 8.45pm

I'm still alive, I promise. I'm having a hard time with internet access, and when I do have it, I'm typing a million miles a minute about kappa kappa psi things. Band camp next week=crazinezz.

p.s. - Rueben, I'm on chris's computer :).

moana

:: 2008 11 August :: 2.12pm
:: Music: Bloc Party - Kreuzberg

I have decided at 25, that something must change.

I feel less and less like a human and more and more like a series of words on a white page as time goes on. Most of the people I truly care about are people I don't ever get to see. Instead, these are people I keep in touch with through emails, chat windows and the odd phone call now and then. So to them, that's exactly what I must be; a series of words on a white page. If that's how the people that matter the most see you, doesn't that define who you are at a certain point?

2 think they know | Do you know?

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2008 11 August :: 12.05am

Ffffffuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Dru mk andgetti ng fired tomoorrow.yay........... fuck eveyr one of u I hate u all the only ones who matter are the oines upwhio can.put up with ot u dotnt even knoew dpoi its hot a d fukc on hre and I fu@k ng love danilelle but that's ptertty mucb it cuz idf u cxant outnup with. Ot. Then.o, .ficoignmg done

Dtimefoe.a shot.of 5 O

3 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2008 10 August :: 10.52pm

so mayhem fucking rocked, it was one of the best days ever. i was so close i could literally feel david draimin sweat on me!!! omg i am just so happy that i got to go, all my pals check out my pics on myspace...www.myspace.com/musicislife7657

:: 2008 7 August :: 9.17pm

I just finished my last day at Meijer. I'm leaving Saturday morning, and starting at the Mt. Pleasant Meijer on Sunday or after.

Things are getting back to normal.

I can't find my hair brush and it's making me quite devastated.