[obsolete]

[obsolete]

:: 2008 14 January :: 4.28pm
:: Music: Mongolian Chop Squad - Hit in America

I had a dream last night where I was leading a lot of scared people through something big and dangerous. I was younger than I am now, about 16 or 17 at most, and I was very skinny and scrawny. But people depended on me to get them through this thing.

Maybe it's supposed to prepare me for something great.

Maybe I've justb een playing too much Heavenly Sword.

Do you know?

m&ms487

:: 2008 14 January :: 8.25am

My eye hit a snowflake.
I am unreasonably happy today. I'm not sure why.

I'm up and about so much earlier than normal so that I can write a paper that I am too intelligent to have to write.

I highly dislike University required composition courses.

Well, at least I'm one hundred percent on what a thesis is now, since we talked about them for the past two class periods.

3 think they know | Do you know?

skippi16

:: 2008 10 January :: 2.40pm

comin up to mt pleasant for some manager seminar,,, yay. its just means i will be away from tj for 3 days, poor baby. its ok for me but i think he may have a problem with out me there to make sure he does all the stuff he needs to...

not too much news here, parents kicked nathan out finally, found pot and whiskey in his room.....

bridesmaids call me ,please.

1 think they know | Do you know?

m&ms487

:: 2008 10 January :: 2.29pm

I awoke this morning to clouds over the sun, to the perpetual freshness of another day, and to my body telling me that I required less movement than I was enacting at the time.

Oh man.

I'm back in the swing of things I suppose. I have one more class to go to today, and then I'm done. Well, I have my meeting tonight, but then I'll be done.

Wouldn't it be nice...

Human Growth and Development will be interesting, but the room is very large and cold, so it will unenjoyable.

The lady who teaches my creative writing class can't speak in front of people well, and she's super skinny.

I think the bus driver hates her job.

I would really enjoy a real cappuccino right now, but I have rent to pay, which means I don't have the three dollars to spend on it.

I have carrot sticks in my stomach (well, they're not in stick form anymore), and I enjoyed my peanut butter and raspberry preserves sandwich on whole wheat bread that I made myself and ate for lunch.

I have a high level of cognitive development, I was told. I like to organize things in my head. Yes, it gives me pleasure, or rather, it alleviates my cognitive dissonance.

Or, maybe, I'm just obsessive.

1 think they know | Do you know?

moana

:: 2008 10 January :: 9.31am

I feel better now. I've been discussing options with my Mom about what to do next, and it makes me feel better to have a plan. I'm going to be looking for a job as a priority if I find out that I can't transfer credits from AUK to AUD. Part of me dreads AUK because of who I know might be there. I can't help but feel like it would be just like high school. If anything, I just wanna put all that behind me.

Jay says he'll wait as long as he has to, just as long as we can stay in touch during the time we're apart. He's braver than I am, because having to be apart from him for that long is just way too hard on me.

But it makes me feel better. My brother got me a new phone, and it's awesome. I just love it. Also, I showed them the story I got published. My mum says it's worth something to keep writing and try to get published again. I think it's worth something too. It's nice to have my mum acknowledge that I have the ability to do something that well. Very very nice.

Smile now!

1 think they know | Do you know?

m&ms487

:: 2008 7 January :: 9.13pm

First time: apprehension, uncertainty, confidence.
Last time: sorrow. fulfillment. joy.
Middle time: going, keeping, doing.

the wind may be on the other side of the pane, but it still chills me to the bone from the sound i hear.

i've lost the words.

1 think they know | Do you know?

m&ms487

:: 2008 7 January :: 8.55pm

My, what curious weather we are having.

On the up side, I'm in the library while a major thunderstorm with hail is outside.

On the down side, I have to leave the library in about twenty minutes and walk to the music building in the major thunderstorm with hail.

[edit] Every time I think about making the transition, the wind picks up and the rain falls harder.

2 think they know | Do you know?

m&ms487

:: 2008 7 January :: 8.23am

I just finished with my first class of the new semester. It was English 201, which is an English Composition class that's required. Boo. But...I do have it with the same professor I had for Literary Analysis, which is cool. He's in his seventies, has a five year old kid, and is fairly crazy. Yep.

Anyway, most of my classes are tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes!

Michelle

1 think they know | Do you know?

moana

:: 2008 7 January :: 10.56pm

I feel depressed, and kinda miserable. I really thought going back home would be a good thing, and that it would help me get past the issues with my family, but I feel like I just fight everyone around me while I'm here, because they project this picture on me, and if I don't fit it then I must be a bad person.

It's also kind of depressing when your own mother thinks you've been subject to some witchcraft or something and is trying to break the curse through holy water and readings from the Quraan. I'm not a bad person just because I don't believe in the same things she does. I feel disappointed and tricked, because all they've been trying to do it seems is talk me out of being with Jay.

And I feel depressed be cause I can't talk to him, I can't call him or go see him and just tell him everything until he makes me feel better.

I also feel depressed because my brother thinks I came back for some personal gain instead of to have my mother back in my life again. I feel tricked because they're telling me all these scenarios about "what if your father does this and that and this and you never get to leave the country or see him again?"

And I feel depressed because I wasn't told about any of this before I came, and I was tricked instead, and now that I'm here, there's nothing I can really do to get out, because I've put all my trust and faith in my mother to help me. And she doesn't want to. I see her reluctance. I know why she's trying to convert me back, because she's HOPING this is the work of the devil, and once it's gone I'll be her daughter again.

But this being who I am, why am I made to feel like a bad person? I know I hurt them by running away, but I wish they saw that hurting them was not the REASON for my running away, nor was it an indication that I no longer loved them.

And I still think I'm a good person.

I'm just so so depressed.

1 think they know | Do you know?

m&ms487

:: 2007 29 December :: 8.30am

I just finished shoveling because we got six inches of snow last night. I shoveled the porch and my parking spot.

Jessie is coming to live with me tomorrow!

Do you know?

sugarjackj

:: 2007 27 December :: 9.25pm

I cleaned out my closet and my drawers today. Its amazing some of the things that I found A notebook from my Junior year with "Jackie + Chris" in Japanese scribbled in various places on it. A note from my freshman year from Tim Seifken asking me to Swirl. A note from Zach Garnsey from when we were going out. A bunch of pictures of Jessie Wilde and I at the RHCP concert. Random choir pictures from Cedar. Awards from more recent years that I remembered encouraged me to pursue a music career. Pictures of old friends, and many other things. It made me sad going through my things, pitching some of it, tucking away my favorite memories. The thing that made me the saddest was how I remembered that things were good. And I just want things to be that good again, you know? Nonetheless, I cleaned everything out, and re-packed my drawers so that I can move my dressers easier. Hopefully things will start going better.
:)

4 think they know | Do you know?

skippi16

:: 2007 23 December :: 7.28pm

hey! ITS CHRISTMAS!....
on the way up here to MI the fuckin car died pretty much... and now i have no way of getting home and i need to get home by tomorrow afternoon. argh shit always happens around the holidays.

on the other side of things, we are doing well in IN. its so much better then MI. i love it down there. work is going ok... started to manage by myself this week. yay. TJ is great.... his job sucks but it pays decent so its all good. i have an audition with the fort wayne community band in JAN>>>> i cant wait. i have been wanting to play for the longest time and playing by myself sucks.

Do you know?

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2007 22 December :: 5.50pm

Today Roman and I were driving with Cesar in the backseat on 44th street and we were going east right past the mall and this moron in a black truck pulls out from the mall all the way on the right and we were in the middle lane and he crosses all 4 lanes to get over to the left to go in the MI turn around thing.

it was wet out and he started losing control and fish tailing a little and then goes up on the median where a big green road sign with two poles is and he smashes into it right square in the middle and the sign breaks and flies over his truck

AND HE JUST KEPT ON DRIVING!! and pulled into the turn around to go west bound. It was so insane!!! our radio was off so we could hear everything. it was like a movie it was so unreal. i couldn't believe he just kept driving like it was no big deal at all. he is lucky that the sign didn't fly into the road and hurt someone else. he was going way too fast and almost hit us when he was crossing all those lanes. roman honked the horn and then he smashed the sign. it was crazy.

and then we got his plate # and called the police and reported it. hahaa fucker.

it was nuts!!!

Do you know?

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2007 21 December :: 10.24pm

A- in spanish ...yay even tho she is a fricken crazy lady and crushed my dream of becoming fluent in spanish because she is the only one who teaches it so i dropped spanish 2

B in Cellular Biology which is a class that we were all guinea pigs in because it was the first time it was taught at Davenport and the book was RIDICULOUS and it was a very tough class that I considered dropping because it was so hard. So i'm very pleased with a B

Haven't got the last two back yet but I should be getting a B+ in Intercultural Communication and an A- in Healthy Living.

yay

i'm so glad i'm done with school for a while. and my school is sooooooooo retarded. We just ended classes THIS week ... my online classes aren't even officially done until TOMORROW. and yet still we start class again on January 6th. Everyone else has like a month of break and we get like 2 wks. thats so dumb! grr i hate davenport.

anyway..... my baby makes the best cookies ever omg. the other night i just sat on my ass and watched the movie hairspray while Roman just said he wanted to make chocolate chip cookies. I had to show him where the recipe and measuring cups were and what the difference btwn a tablespoon and teaspoon are but then he was all on his own and he did everything by himself lol and made the best cookies ever. and they looked picture perfect they were like perfectly round and perfectly brown on top and just perfect. they were so delicious. yummm the best part is that i didn't have to make them.

anyway i am excited for christmas but sad that roman will be leaving for like 4 ish days so that will suck but i dont have to work until NEXT FRIDAY....eek.. it's kind of not good but work has not been giving me any hours at all. i should start getting more as soon as the first rolls around but for now I nanny 3 days of the week so that will hold me over. I nanny for a little boy named Cesar and he is adorable and fun. so i really like it. it is a great job for me because i get to be around kid(s) again which i missed a lot since i left the daycare and the best part is that it gives me a break from being at work at midnite sun and cruise all the time. its nice to have two jobs and separate the time between the two. and i only watch him for 2 hours (not even a full 2 hours) on monday and wednesday and then from 9-5 on saturday. it's not bad at all.

so yay.

roman got me some cool christmas presents. these pjs that i love. we were supposed to wait until sunday for our christmas but we couldn't wait and yesterday we opened our gifts. he relaly liked his too. so yay

so yeah i'm doing pretty well. lol

that's an update on my life.

Do you know?

m&ms487

:: 2007 21 December :: 9.15am
:: Mood: calm

Classes were over last week and grades are in. Time to look to next semester. It should be fairly easy. I'm only taking thirteen credit hours so I can have more time to relax (one thing I learned about last semester is that I need time to myself so I don't get so stressed out).

We've moved into our new apartment, which is very nice. It's a four bedroom town house. The main level has a living room, a bathroom and a large kitchen/ dining area. The upstairs has the four bedrooms and another bathroom. We have basic cable and broadband internet, which means I've been watching CNN for the past week and Rueben has been downloading the whole second season of Heroes for us to watch.

I've been working a lot lately, as always. I have thirty seven hours this week and thirty eight next. I help close the store on Christmas eve, and I have to be back at ten am the day after Christmas. I'm not too thrilled about that because that means I have to drive home and back all in one day to spend Christmas with my family.

Rueben's mom came and visited us yesterday. We went out to breakfast at Lil Chef and then went to the Antique's Mall next door. I had to leave for work, but Rueben and his mom continued on and I'm pretty sure he got me my Christmas present(s). As for me, I'm done with my Christmas shopping, and everything is wrapped with many twirly ribbons.

So, I feel like I'm in a limbo; I just sit around until I have to go to work and then I go to work, come home, sleep, repeat. I am sick, though, so that throws a little mucus into the mix. gross.

School starts up in a few weeks, and we'll see what happens.

Michelle

Do you know?