Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them
oh and I keep getting these headaches again. I used to get these ... the last time i was getting them was in august-ish when i worked at the daycare but...
it starts out that my left eye-it's like i can't see... it's that thing you get when you look at the sun or a camera flashes in your eyes- you know, the little dot things. and so that happens but like over my entire left eye so basically i can't see and then about a half hour or so later i get an incredibly bad migraine where i feel like i'm going to die/throw up.
yeah so that's fun. except not. and then in the morning i wake up and my head honestly still hurts but it's just a dull headache
so i'm pretty sure i have a tumor of some sort.
and i have a lot of woohu reading to do but more importantly i have homework and i might be getting a part time nannying thing and also i dont know if i want to be a nurse so yeah.
::
2007 27 November :: 1.59pm
:: Music: Life is beautiful
Deprivation
I think I've broken my body. It took me only 21 years, but I think I've finally got it on the ropes, and I have proof.
I can't sleep. At all.
I just wind up staring at the ceiling, and getting that half ass sleep that isn't really refreshing so much as it is irritating. Oh, and your mind goes to bad places when you can't sleep, bugging you about things you shouldn't think about.
The semester here is nearly over, and its about damn time. I'm already at that point where I want it to be over, but hey guess what? I'm a fucking freshman, so I'm nowhere near done. I'm actually getting started! wheeeee. Next semester will be where its at, as I've never completed a spring semester in the past 2 years without giving up, quitting, skipping, etc. etc. I'm curious to see if I have that fuckit mentality again. I hope not, but I won't be surprised if it surfaces.
I made my [Brass Hammer] last night, and despite some slight tolerance issues, I got 100% on it. If you guys saw my handiwork in high school and middle school shop, maybe you just shat yourself. Hell, if you've ever seen me try to do anything more complicated then change a light bulb, you should be shitting yourself. But I ran that lathe machine like a PRO. PRO I say. Even though I had no idea what I was doing yesterday due to sleep exhaustion and general lack of knowledge about drill presses and advanced lathe functions. But hey, its done, and I'll probably get an A or a B+ in that class, so rock on.
Other than that, I got nothing. I'm not sleeping, its freezing, I'm hungry...but I'm still somewhat happy. I blame Trans-Siberian Orchestra, as that will be epic on saturday night, and I can hardly wait.
I've been working so much lately. Yesterday was horrible at work. "Black Friday" makes me want to kill someone, or a lot of people.
But, I did get some humor out of it all. I was doing a Western Union Transfer for a lady, and one of the other people at the desk asked for my help and the lady was like, "No, you need to do this for me now, I'm in a hurry."
So I said, "Okay" and went as slow as I possibly could. I am normally very fast at typing and processing the transfer, but I made sure to look over everything a few times before I sent it. Then, when I gave her the receipt, she ripped it out of my hands and tromped away.
I hate my job.
And people at the desk are dropping like flies. One guy went to the pharmacy two weeks ago, and another girl found a new job. She said she'd come in for her last few shifts (Thursday through this Sunday), but she hasn't shown up yet. This is not the season where you don't show up to work.
Ah, well, the semester is almost over, only two more weeks and then exam week.
Rueben and I are moving into another apartment on the fifteen of December because the people we're with right now are giant assholes. But, Jessie is coming to Central and we'll all live together in our four bedroom town house happily ever after. Yes.
I have to write and give an after dinner speech on Wednesday. I have nothing. I guess I'll just wait for the last minute, like always.
I gave myself the morning off from classes. It felt so good to SLEEP. They gave me thirty hours this week, and next week. I don't know how I'm going to be handling that, but I guess I'll find out.
Papers to write, but I have four hours now, so that shouldn't be a problem. I need to take some time off more often.
It's Monday morning and I've had a very long weekend. I worked last night until eleven, went home, and wrote a paper for this morning. I didn't write the other paper that I needed to, but I'm sure she said something about we can wait until Wednesday to do it. I hope, at least.
I'm working thirty hours this week. Although I don't have school on Thursday or Friday, it's still going to be hell. I'm going home on Thursday so Rueben and I can go to his family's Thanksgiving. Then we're driving back up the same day so I can work on Black Friday. Ugh.
Now, off to Communication Theory, which strangely, I've come to enjoy.
::
2007 15 November :: 4.02am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: Chad VanGaalen
My hardest classes are the one credit music classes...
Next Semester:
-Sight Sing Ear Train II -
-Concert Choir -
-History Survey Music II -
-Academic Learning Skills -
-Mass Comm Contemp Socty -
-Piano Class II -
-Bowling -
-Voice Lesson -
-Studio Class -
-Voice Area Recital/Music 097 -
-Opera -
::
2007 12 November :: 11.44pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Old school Kirby stuffs
Petty annoyances
So, lately I've been depressed, and have been unable to locate the source of this depression. I've discovered the truth behind it, and while I don't like the answer, I've accepted it.
I truly live for the weekend. I hate the weekdays, and most people I meet. While a few weeks ago I learned that drowning my sorrows in booze is nowhere near the answer that I seek, surrounding myself with friends and family is.
Had a great time with phil and nate on friday, though I got the impression that nate's woman wanted to rip my head off. That won't be the last chick I drive to a murderous state of mind.
Saturday and sunday were spent hanging out with david. I'm amazed at the nothing we can do, and yet I enjoy myself so much. One of these times we will actually do something, god willing, that doesn't involve booze or sitting around all night.
The other problem is that if I'm not with someone on the weekend, I get lonely, and that has become devestating for me. The whole over-analyzing thing bites me in the ass, and I contemplate many things that I shouldn't, such as things involving heather, my friends, my 'distant' family, myself, hell, even Katie Albrecht. I mean, srsly, what the fuck is wrong with me?
A stupid girl today reminded me that most people are worth dick. She was talking on her phone, and followed me nearly all the way to class. With speakerphone on. For about 5 minutes, I got to listen to two typical valley girls chat it up. Yeah, no problems there.
After Lara (the girl using her speakerphone) told Sandy that she couldn't figure out why Jamal left him, I spun around and replied, "Maybe because you are whiny, or self centered, or stupid. Maybe we can just combine all three and say he left you because you are a whiny, self centered, stupid bitch." She then looked at me and said, "Don't butt into my conversations!" We argued, but I eventually copied a move from david's book and used the over exaggerated head nodding with a goofy smile technique. It was super effective.
For some reason, I haven't given a damn what anyone thinks about me since then. All it took was a huge moron to remind me why people aren't shit, or at least most of them out there. Now to finish that homework that I've been avoiding for about three hours...though this kirby game won't play itself...dammit.
zzzzzzzzzombies
So, as those reading this journal are people i consider friends, i pose this question. Do you have an emergency plan for zombie epidemics?