My Bitching Grounds

:: 2002 28 October :: 2.07pm
:: Mood: painful
:: Music: "Black Water" Doobie Brothers

I know painful isn't a mood but......
The left side of my jaw aches. I think it's because my ears are pluggged, more so one the left side than the right.

What a beautiful day outside. Too bad we're spending part of our marching band period inside. It's the best weather that we've seen in a few weeks.

So I have to sign up to be a lab rat for graduate pyschology students. But the website that you use to sign up for it, sends you your information to log in a couple hours after you submit your info. It's not instantaneous or anything. Then, if you don't log in within three days your password expires. And as of now, it's giving me some error message about how I can't log in. I hate some of the things people come up with.

I came up with a new yelling cheer when we're on defense at teh football game. Since we all have to yell very loud to distract the opposing offense, I had been screaming my tuba name, Frotch'dy B'Jay (in short, Frosty). But Saturday night I came up with a new one: DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE PURPLE MONKEYS! As if the purple monkeys even care about a football game but I con't guess a situation where invoking their presence would not be beneficial.

I wonder if I can make it through this horrendously long day. Wake up @ 7am, drive here, have class from 9am-9pm. After that I drive to work. Work from 10pm~1pm. Go home and go to bed. So that means when I left home @ 8am that I would not return for 17 hours. Not only that but I have to get up tomorrow and be to work at 10am. It don't get much better 'dan 'dis.

:: 2002 28 October :: 11.09am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: "The Girl All The Bad Guys Want" Bowling for Soup

How many times is life ironic? Let me count the ways.........
1. The girl I fell for is engaged.
2. The largest influence in my political science class is from the left. This being in a largley conservative community, with me, a conservative in the class.
3. I come from a town that celebrates red underwear, yet I've never owned a pair in my life.
4. Despite all appearances, maturity is an overall mindset and not a brief glimpse.
5. Life can be summed up in a few words. But a few words will never make it through life.
6. Love and hate are on an equilibrium. If you love something too much in the beginning, you will hate it even more when it ends.
7. Why does it take a conscious effort by a group of women to be successful (feminism) when men have just stumbled upon it?
8. When human worth is measured in terms of dollars, it is said to be evil. When populations are viewed in terms of new markets, it is called economics.
9. How come politicians and lawyers are labeled evil for playing the game of politics when stock brokers earn more money from playing the game of monopoly on a grand scale?
10. And isn't it ironic that there is a black fly in my chardonay?

9 Kiss Asses | Kiss My Ass

:: 2002 26 October :: 4.40pm
:: Mood: silly
:: Music: ben folds five- battle of who could care less

danibean05: oh.. i forgot to tell you, me and edger j. moose are getting married tomorrow at 4:58
grapenut48050: LOL
grapenut48050: hell yes
grapenut48050: i will be his best man
danibean05: well...ok
danibean05: i was hoping you'd be the organest and the photographer and the minister all at the same time, but you can add b.m. in there too
grapenut48050: AND THEN IM GOING TO BE YOUR SECRET LOVER AND WE WILL BE MARRIED IN A DIFFERENT RELIGION AND COUNTRY!!!!!
grapenut48050: so you will have two husbands
grapenut48050: lol
danibean05: HAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA
danibean05: I"M SUCH A DIRTY LUSS!!!!!
grapenut48050: lol
danibean05: but i think that's a REALLY good idea!
danibean05: we have to think of a way to keep our marrige a secret though...because edger. j. moose may get surley if he finds out
grapenut48050: lol

he's sooo much fun! hehehe :)

:: 2002 26 October :: 2.03pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: "Poppies" Marcy Playground

I like boots. Boots are nice. I wear boots everyday. My boots are my best friends. They are my best fashionn accessory I except for my hats. What I really like about boots is when girls where them. Yes, definitey. Especially the ones with teh big heels on them when their wearing a skirt. Yeah, I definitely like those boots. Yeah. Yeah.

5 Kiss Asses | Kiss My Ass

:: 2002 24 October :: 10.49pm
:: Mood: things haven't gotten much better since the last

tear, tear, tear
i miss ryan soooo much, you don't even know. i'm really having a hard time with this. i need a good cry. if anyone would like to either
a) cry with me
b) cheer me up (which is basically no one but ryan kiernicki himself, but you can TRY)
c)make music with me
this will take place tomorrow afternoon/night so please contact me asap. and please don't just randomly stop by unless you know i want to see you. the only thing that makes me forget about all my sadness and problems is music. that is the most helpful thing right now and i'm so grateful for it. well, i should be off to bed. have a good day tomorrow kids. night night

2 Kiss Asses | Kiss My Ass

:: 2002 24 October :: 12.23pm

i'm having a bad day at school today. oh well, maybe beans and jessie will cheer me up tonight. i got my wings last night. woo. and andy came over for speghetti. yum.

3 Kiss Asses | Kiss My Ass

:: 2002 21 October :: 11.07am
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: "Riff Progression in A Minor II" Charlie Campbell

Is it true. Is everything that seems to be so apparent to me, apparent to everyone else too. Everyday I feel like I am losing the sense of who I am, what I am, and am being gobled up by larger groups. Instead of being defined as an individual I am defined as a member of a group.

Maybe it's just the general direction my life is heading in. I'm in a hurry all the time, but not in a hurry for certain things. I do want to take things slow and I'm glad, from what I have observed that the idea is mutual.

Monday, not another Monday. Our History prof promised to have our papers back to us today. No papers, we'll get them Wednesday. He's a bigger procratinator than his students are.

It will be so nice when this semester is over. No more mraching band, no more Saturday class. Just Monday, Wednesday, Friday. That and I can't wait for the break in between. Time off will be so nice.

Props to seniors. Last competition. Kind of a wierd instance but you'll be glad you're done. Just being there Saturday was special for me because you guys are the class I never had. The group of people who dominated every section of the band, except tuba and trumpet, and who I was able to make beautiful music with. I hope you all realize what talented muscians you are and what beautiful people you can be.

I also noticed that my life can be so unpredictable. It's nice not to have fallen into a patern or a set of people. That keeps me afloat and looking for new ideas. My guess is that every tie to home is ever increasing because of what has been going on. That's where my friends and my family are and that is the one place where I believe that I can relate to people the most.

Political surveys. I took a couple for my poli sci class. One said I was a libertatrian leaning left. Is that right? Or the other one that said I was conservative leaning toward authoritarian. How 'bout those beans? You tell me. My judgements are biased.

Wow, these drugs really work good. It's just my Claritin, but after having a runny nose all day yesterday, I took some this morning and my nose if clear as a bell.

Is this long? Too bad. It think by talking about absolutely useless things that it will help me figure out who I am while at the same time confusing the rest of you about what is going on in my life, possibly. Too many questions. I get answers and I just get more questions.

To think it's been just a little over a week. My questions about that were answered and as evidence by the five hours we spent on the phone that we both know what would be going on, and it's not going too fast, but it seems to have stagnated a little bit, which could be good considering the turbulent and swiftly moving nature of my only other relationship. I do not know, therefore leave me to myself, or drop in your own ideas.

:: 2002 18 October :: 9.49pm
:: Mood: silly
:: Music: :)

WOOT!
MOOT!
SMOOT!
LOOT!
LOOTING!
LUSS!
HUSS!
HUSSY!
LUSSING ABOUT THE HALLS!
LOOSING YOUR DIGNITY ON THE BAND ROOM FLOOR!!!

Inflected forms: pl. mooseA hoofed mammal (Alces alces) found in forests of northern North America and in Eurasia and having a broad, pendulous muzzle and large, palmate antlers in the male.
fizzy is a nice word too.

:: 2002 17 October :: 9.37pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: 311- beautiful disaster

my new favorite activity is playing football in kaly andrus's yard with jessie wilde, danielle millering and kaly andrus. but i think maybe just maybe loosing my dignity with beans on the band room floor might be just as fun. i think it is, i think it's this much funner. but it's a different thing. i went home after second hour because i was sick. so i slept all day. until about 5ish. wooo....

danibean05: SMOOOOOOTY MCSMOOTERSON!
sugarmouse0587: ahhhh
danibean05: ahwofatk]
sugarmouse0587: no beans no
danibean05: who's baby's do you want to have?
sugarmouse0587: BEAN"S
sugarmouse0587: !!!!!!!!!!!!
danibean05: WOOO
sugarmouse0587: who's babies do you want to hatch!
danibean05: BEAN;s!
danibean05: that has to go on the lust
sugarmouse0587: it is
sugarmouse0587: on the continued lust
danibean05: good
danibean05: :-)
sugarmouse0587: you know what?
danibean05: what/
sugarmouse0587: i wrote luss on spud's arm in civics today and mr. civinskas saw it....he though it said LUST
danibean05: HAH A HAHA
danibean05: did you tell him that it was luss/
sugarmouse0587: no
sugarmouse0587: he walked away
danibean05: oh!
danibean05: aj1
danibean05: akhgj!
danibean05: jvr48fjfhrhekel!!!!!!!!!!
sugarmouse0587: stope!
danibean05: !
sugarmouse0587: ah!
sugarmouse0587: baens!
danibean05: what?!
sugarmouse0587: i'll eat you!
sugarmouse0587: who's babies do you want to eat?
danibean05: your mom's!
sugarmouse0587: that's me!
sugarmouse0587: aahh
danibean05: QTTS beans
sugarmouse0587: qtts?
danibean05: quit trying to score
sugarmouse0587: laughs loudly
danibean05: haha
sugarmouse0587: who's marching band do you want to lick!
danibean05: BEAN'S!

needless to say, i've had some fun tonight! :)

2 Kiss Asses | Kiss My Ass

:: 2002 16 October :: 2.05pm
:: Mood: chipper

i think because of how busy i've been, i actually forgot what it was like to just sit by myself and get things done. it's so nice! we had a half day today so gunnie and i got some pizza and then i came home. i got a chance to clean out all my drawers, scan pictures, get some letters wrote, do dishes, practice and just be at home, doing home things! it's been quite plesent actually. i guess in about an hour when mom get's home, i'm going to head over to kaly's until the grant compititon. i know i spelt it wrong, but i don't really care. half days are nice. you don't fall asleep in any classes and the school day goes by fast, and then when you get home, it just goes by really nice and easy. so yeah, that's about it. i've been lacking on my updating i noticed. but that's ok. i've been so busy i really haven't had any time to update or do anything for that matter. saturday is sweetest day :).

:: 2002 16 October :: 11.20am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: "If That Ain't Country" Anthony Smith

Today, Tomorrow, and the Following Week
Last night was good. I thank God so much everyday that I was able to get into a small group like that down here. Last night we talked about taking one day at a time and not looking forward for ways to serve God. But asking everyday how can I serve Him today. A lot of times that is what I need to da because I'm so caught up in what needs to be done in the future that I lose perspective of today. When I lose perspective of today then I will not enjoy what I have now. I do not think there is anything in my life that I would change right now. It is not that I would not welcome change if it came, as it appears it might soon, but I do not seek it.

The two entries below this are just ideas that I'm getting together for my paper for my Lib. Studies class that I have to have done by Saturday.

As for answering some of my questions that I had concerning Crystal, she answered most of those last night. Now my only concerns are going too deep. For developing a corporial relationship that will separate me from my spiritual one. I guess I'll grapple with that some more, but I'll probably have to figure it out by tonight.

:: 2002 16 October :: 11.13am

Mitch's reunion with Morrie provide sinsight into his own life but is also accompanied by various feelings of guilt. Morrie considers their discussions as their "last thesis." This is mostly what has been published in the book. Morrie's insight on issues such as aging, love, death, consumerism, and religion, all lead a reader to reevaluate their standing and ideas. The book is based on the simple understanding of the dignity of all human beings and the ability of humans to learn and understand their own lives. After drifting away from that deeper thought, after being liberally educated, a person does need some reminder in secular culture about what they should be doing in their community. A liberal education takes place in this book, but it's not so much an original insight to the knowledge, the path, as it is a reminder of what life is all about. By turning these ideas into something that can be expressed clearly, people now have the means to go after those insights themselves.

:: 2002 16 October :: 11.04am

Wow, two papers due next week, guess I better get started.

Morrie just gives Mitch so much more of an understanding about the true meanings in life. The things that are important to us all, or rather should be important too us. Morrie Schwartz, age 72, is dying from ALS, more commonly know as "Lou Gehrig's" Disease. Morrie Schwartz had been a professor of sociology at Brandeis University for a large portion of his life. The book was written by one of his former students, Mitch Albom. Albom graduated from Brandeis and eventually became a sports reporter and later a columnist for the Detroit Free Press. Morrie had had a significant impact on Mitch while he was in school, but now even more as he was dying. Morrie's premise was that he was on a journey (to his death) and the best thing that he could do was to "tell people what to pack." Through attention from other various media sources such as ABC's nightly news magazine "Nightline with Ted Koppel" and the Boston Globe, Morrie Schwartz became somewhat of a celebrity. Many of his "aphorisms" were published and by those who learned about him he was considered a genuine caring man with mcuh wisdom.

:: 2002 11 October :: 11.07am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: "Death of Romance" Golly

Yeah, really I should be in class right now. I'm skipping my freshman seminar class right now, actually I forgot about it. It only meets on Fridays, the teacher isn't even a professor and she say "yeah, mhm, mhm, yeah" whenever you are trying to give an answer, she assigns stupid pidly crap that I learned how to do in seventh grade. Last week we learned different forms of note taking, yeah. Like i haven't TAUGHT that to all the kids I've tutored. Other than that I had my History midterm today. It was only hard because all of the writing in such a short period of time. I can defintiely tell that I am too used to doing my writing on computer now because after about fifteen minutes of writing I started to lose feeling in my fingers because of the nerves being pinched off at the elbow. I got down to the third and final question about Hamiltonian programs and I almost forgot about the tariff plans so that would have brought my grade down considerably so it's a good thing I remembered.

I was so happy to see Crystal yesterday. Hopefully there not to busy at work and i can see her again today. I know that the rumor mill is going to get even bigger about the two of us. I don't see anything happenning in the immeadiate future, but I feel a connection with her. A connection that I haven't enjoyed with another person since June when I was talking with Jessica. It was nice seeing you too, Shari. You seemed a little shy. Anyways, everyone have peaceful weekend. I'll be doing band stuff Saturday, ugh. But I'll seeya'll around.

God Bless.