My Bitching Grounds

:: 2002 24 September :: 3.43pm

On my two friends
I have heard it from many sides. "Don't you find it gross"
"Isn't it humiliating?" "It bothers me when I see them making out in the hallway."

Well to tell all of you the truth it has been disturbing for me. But that still does not hide the fact that I have responded in a totally irresponsible and selfish way. I have not taken the the time to consider the fact that what they are doing is totally and completely wrong. It goes against everything I believe in, it goes against nature itself. Their indulgence is a most supreme form of sin. I call on all of you now to relay these facts to them, that if they do not disavow their behavior that they will be forever damned. Not only by, what some of us to be a higher power, but also by life itself. Your following your sexual desires and your hearts, your hearts are turning black everyday you continue. Incapable of true love you will be, if you do not end soon. My ideas are as they are. Take what I say as you wish, but know it comes from my caring that no matter what happens cannot diminish for either of you.

10 Kiss Asses | Kiss My Ass

:: 2002 23 September :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: eh... if you saw me at the end of m.b. you know...

yeah...so homecoming was a riot. dinner was really fun and the last part of the dance was too. after, we went to jessie's and ate junk food and watched tv and i fell asleep on gunnie. oh well.. band sucked tonight. i ended up crying at the end after we unloaded the pit trailer. i think it was because i was so stressed and just missed ryan and stuff like that. i got my pictures from when ryan and i saw each other over labor day weekend. those cheered me up :). anyways... i don't really have much else to say, except thanks to andy for making me feel better tonight. and just a note, your spit didn't take off the mascara, it just smeared it around my face even more. oh well though...the idea was there and your intentions were good. :) good night kids and sleep tight!

:: 2002 21 September :: 10.34pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: "Travelin' Soldier" Dixie Chicks

I just keep likin' it more and more. Despite the paper that's due on Monday, which I have to bs my way through because it's suppossed to be 4-6 pages when there is reall only 1.5-2 pages worth of material. But oh well.

The band trip was fun. Besides a bunch of people getting totally smashed. Carrie did in our room. She started out with a small plastic cup of straight Vodka before we went to dinner, then she added to that another of the same sized glass of vodka and apple pucker mixed. Then on top of that she had Mike's. I've never seen someone go so fast. But it did lead us to other things. Tighe was so upset he was just tlaking to Nate, Atalie, Jen, and I about how that kind of stuff is. It was kind of refreshing and it made me realize by talking that the world doesn't seem like such a sinful place anymore. It's so much more than I thought it was, innocence, to a certain extent still reigns supreme, like i wish it did for me. It also made me draw parallels between my faith and Plato's "Allegory of the Cave." It made me realize that what my faith is is just much for show. Despite the fact that I don't show it very often. It's more to show myself than anyone, but I haven't been living it to the extent that I could. It kind of gives me a whole new out look on it. Well I've got to get some sleep. We talked until 1am Friday night, were back up at 6:30am to leave the hotel, rehearsal, game, 4 hour bus ride, the time now added to the fact that I have to be to work @7am. SO good night and God Bless.

2 Kiss Asses | Kiss My Ass

:: 2002 21 September :: 12.31am
:: Mood: tired

yay!!!! tonight was so fun!!!! and congrats to the best king....our very own... GUNNIE!!! yay!! i just think that's soooo cool. after the game, jessie, my mom, GUNNIE and i all went for desert and fun. and we had both!!!! whoa! so yeah.. tomorrow morning i have my first flute ensemble practice and then my suprise which is mom got me a hair appointment!!! i'm so excited!!!! then beans and jessie are coming over and i'm going to do their hair and makeup and shiz. we still don't know what we're doing for dinner. we're so unprepared. but yeah... lusses are like that. mmhm...well...i need sleep. gnasd :)

:: 2002 19 September :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: stupid

stupid stupid stupid...

ugh...homecoming game tomorrow, the dance is saturday. things to look forward to. flute ensemble starts saturday, practice is 9-10 am. something to look forward to, but not the time. that i will not look forward to. but i do like flute enemble, well at least i did last season. i like it because everyone is at my level and it just sounds sooo incredably beautiful. sometimes i want to cry because it is just so pretty. also mom has some sort of SUPPRISE for me on saturday. i'm hoping it protains to homecoming and it's something good. i think it is though. ooooooOOOOoooooo.. i'm such a luss. ahhh...and pascal and simon are so funny!!! well yeah.... all i can think about is ryan. ryan ryan ryan... 24/7 that's all that's on my mind. it's kind of nice though. hmm.. well i think i'm going to bed now. time for sleep. yes there is a thing called sleep, even though i don't experence it enough i'm sure it exists. i should have went to bed early like andy. but no, i'm stubborn and dumb. ah well.... good night kids and don't let anything bite :)

:: 2002 19 September :: 11.46am
:: Mood: sleepy mc sleeperson

yep... you called it... i'm in english class again!
ugh... you know what bugs me to the max?? when people complain about not talking to their boyfriend or whatever for like a whole day! or not seeing them in 2 days, or a week, hell, even a month for that matter. this never really bugged me until i "found" ryan. now every time someone says something like that i just want to say... "SHUT UP!!!" at least they can call the other person for free. at least they can see that person every week or every month or every 2 days. or everyday if you see them at school. i would give anything to see ryan every week or two weeks or even every month. that would be so awesome. i think people take advantage of phones too. yeah, i used to, and i probably still do. but alot of you have no idea how lucky you are to be able to call your special someone for free. some days i just wish and wish and wish that him and i could be together. but hey, everything happens for a reason right? and for some odd reason, ryan and i were brought together, and then ripped apart from each other. maybe only to make me appreciate the phone a little more. i don't know. but i figure, if it was meant to be, then someday, it will be. i look at things so differently now. and no one really knows how i feel, except for kaly really. because she's been through it before. but really, i think ryan and i are doing the right thing by being friends for now until it's easier for us to be together. it's so much less painful this way. anyway, i think i feel a little better now. i just needed to vent some. i'm still tired though. oh well. hope you are all having a good day. later :)

:: 2002 18 September :: 11.09am

Lover to Lover

I love the moonlight,
The flood of night,
Emotions are high,
And innocence will die.
Down beneath a climbing tree,
Only the two of us, her and me.
Her beauty is enhanced,
For our only romance.
Her eyes glimmer so,
On this night we know,
Holding one another,
What we are, lover to lover.
The light that keeps us pure,
The darkness that we fear,
And the dark clouds move in,
Leaving us in sin.
This night we know,
Lover to lover.

:: 2002 18 September :: 11.06am

What does this poem tell us about it's author?
This poem tells us tht the author views the act of sexual intimacy as being evil in any form. This may result from previous sexual encounters that the author feels guilty about, or sexual thoughts that the author represses due to intense self or societal pressure to do so. This poem reveals a male persona with an embattled psyche which struggles between percieved wanton sexual perversion and unwanted celibacy.

:: 2002 18 September :: 11.02am
:: Mood: angelic
:: Music: "Amazing Grace"

This morning was so awesome. I've forgotten how awesome praying with other people is and how much it just completely lifts up my day and allows me to go out into the world. I got to school today and I noticed that I was walking with my head held high, taking longer strides, all around even more confident. Then I remember hwat Julie said one morning a few years back. We need to walk around with smiles on our faces so that everyone will ask what is different about us. And everytime that I get down I think about that and I can't help but smile. Just knowing that He is with me everyday seems like such a blessing and an enjoyment.

:: 2002 18 September :: 9.23am
:: Mood: tired

i'm at school again!! ha ha ha!!! just like yesterday, i'm done with my paper and have resorted to coming back to this addicting site. :) anyways... i'm now taking comments on new colors, titles, user pic's, etc. give me all the idea's you've got!!!!!!!! 1/2 day today.. i'm going home with kaly and then we're going to extended drumline from 3-9. woo!!! i'll talk to ya's tonight! later :)

:: 2002 17 September :: 11.56am
:: Mood: tired

i'm at school right now. i got done with my paper so i got to go online! yay for me! anyways... if anyone has suggestions on how to stay awake during school that don't include going to bed earlier or waking up later, i need ideas. other than that, i have piano and flute lessons tonight. wooo! well yeah... time to go. later :)

4 Kiss Asses | Kiss My Ass

:: 2002 16 September :: 11.54am
:: Mood: academic
:: Music: "Georgia On My Mind"

Not found to be in the best interests of Puritanical America
The "special commission" that John Winthrop and his followers believed that they had recieved was to become a divine example. This example was suppossed to be a "shining city on hill" for all of Christendom to look upon as an example in their worship of God. This commission was to be fulfilled by adhering to the Calvinistic viewpoints involving predestination. Following these viewpoints a person was to discover whether or not they were predestined as saved or damned, by their behavior within the community.

Due to their highly radical views on the purification of the Anglican Church, the Puritans faced difficulties in obtaining permission to settle a piece of the New World. Not only was there the problems of obtaingin permission, but also the issue of survival on the high seas. Once the original memebers of the Massachusetts Bay Company arrived in North America they faced many difficulties in locating a place to settle. Originally, Charlestown was founded as a center for the company. After the exploration of the bay the following spring, the center was moved to present day Salem where it was retained for two more winters. Then later, and permantently moved to Boston due to better land for farming. After becoming established in Boston, the colony faced other challenges, but none so as important as the influence of separtism. Since the Puritans themselves were a form of separtist (although they did not consider themselves as such) they frowned on further ideas of separatism. They even went as far as banishing those who disagreed with their doctorines such as Roger Williams and Anne Hutchinson. As many would think, it was not because they were too liberal for Puritanical society, but rather because they wished to push further from the Anglican Church and more towards a highly conservastive form of society.

3 Kiss Asses | Kiss My Ass

:: 2002 15 September :: 12.44am
:: Mood: happy but tired
:: Music: new found glory- my friends over you (well..it's in my head)

hey kids!! well... this weekend has been pretty fun. last night andy, spud, jessie, gunnie, jenna and i all went bowling. i got a terrible score..but oh well. it was still alot of fun eating pizza at 9 at night and just hanging with my friends. then we came back and had a little bon fire and jenna and jessie spent the night and the guys went home. today jenna went home and jessie stayed all day. andy came back over this afternoon and basically stayed all day. the 3 of us baked cookies and had a pillow fight and all kinds of fun stuff. spud came over later and so did gunnie again and we had another bon fire. everyone went home tonight though. so yeah... it just felt soooo good to get out with my friends and have a GOOD time! tonight i realized how much i missed going out and having fun. so now we are going to try to get together as much as possible because all of us get along so well. beans was supposed to join us tonight but she didn't so maybe next time. :) well kids... that's about all for now...i'm pretty sleepy so i think i'm going to hit the sack. good night and hugs and kisses!!!