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Useless Ramblings

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:: 2006 3 November :: 7.00 pm

The male koala's penis is a fork. The female has two vaginas which share a common opening.

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:: 2006 3 November :: 4.31 pm

He’s got a big fat stick and he works like a jackhammer. Those never last.



A church full of naked men…

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:: 2006 1 November :: 8.51 pm

Grandma's dead.

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:: 2006 30 October :: 9.30 pm

I love pounding beavers!

Oh, I sure gave that hairy ass a licking!

Ha! This is one dude that knows how to avoid pussy!

I’ll wrap my hands around this cock and squeeze it until it explodes way too early and then rolls over and falls asleep! Leaving me unsatisfied and alone.

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:: 2006 24 October :: 10.36 am

Bukkake ruined my carpet.

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:: 2006 23 October :: 11.06 pm



Fucking amusing photo

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:: 2006 21 October :: 11.08 pm

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:: 2006 19 October :: 11.07 pm

buried penis?

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:: 2006 19 October :: 10.31 pm

Shawn dropped his phone in the toilet. It makes funny noises now.

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:: 2006 18 October :: 2.25 pm

A little boy walks into a public restroom where a cowboy is taking a piss.
He says to the cowboy: "Sir, are you a real cowboy?"
Yeah,", the guy replied, " Would you like to wear my hat?"
"Yes, please!", says the boy. So he puts on the cowboys hat.
A sailor walks in. The boy says, "Sir are you a real sailor?"
"Yeah, ", says the sailor " would you like to suck my dick?"
The boy thinks about it for a minute and replies
"No, I'm not a real cowboy, I'm just wearing his hat."

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:: 2006 15 October :: 11.11 pm
:: Music: Nocturnal State

No feeding the animals! Well replace animals with grandma…

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:: 2006 15 October :: 8.42 pm

The new Ben Kweller video is annoying.

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:: 2006 13 October :: 1.07 pm

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:: 2006 10 October :: 10.20 pm

Ok, so yes I am drunk off my ass.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMN2XI2iBt4

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:: 2006 10 October :: 9.25 pm

Words of wisdom from my aunt: “you should wear your glasses when manscaping.”

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:: 2006 9 October :: 11.39 pm

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:: 2006 9 October :: 11.31 pm
:: Music: 311: Beautiful Disaster








Robot
You are 71% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 42% Arrogant.
You are the Robot! You are characterized by your rationality. In fact, this is really ALL you are characterized by. Like a cold, heartless machine, you are so logical and unemotional that you scarcely seem human. For instance, you are very humble and don't bother thinking of your own interests, you are very gentle and lack emotion, and you are also very introverted and introspective. You may have noticed that these traits are just as applicable to your laptop as they are to a human being. You are not like the robots they show in the movies. Movie robots are make-believe, because they always get all personable and likeable after being struck by lightning, or they are cold, cruel killing machines. In all reality, though, you are much more boring than all that. Real robots just sit there, doing their stupid jobs, and doing little else. If you get struck by lightning, you won't develop a winning personality and heart of gold. (Robots don't have hearts, silly, and if they did, they would probably be made of steel, not gold.) You also won't be likely to terrorize humanity by becoming an ultra-violent killing machine sent into the past to kill the mother of a child who will lead a rebellion against machines, because that movie was dumb as hell, and because real robots don't kill--they horribly maim at best, and they don't even do that on purpose. Real robots are boringly kind and all too rarely try to kill people. In all my years, my laptop has only attacked me once, and that was only because my brother threw it at me. In short, your personality defect is that you don't really HAVE a personality. You are one of those annoying, super-logical people that never gets upset or flustered. Unless, of course, you short circuit. Or if someone throws a pie at you. Pies sure are delicious.


To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.


Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Class Clown.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Emo Kid, and the Haughty Intellectual.

*

*

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!








My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:



















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You scored higher than 99% on Rationality





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You scored higher than 99% on Extroversion





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You scored higher than 99% on Brutality





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You scored higher than 99% on Arrogance
Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

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:: 2006 9 October :: 9.20 am

Sorry, you look hot in that shirt.

Well, you have really strong legs.

Oh, it was the wall. Leverage is everything.

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:: 2006 6 October :: 9.37 pm

What is that thing on your hand?

It's a condom dispenser.

-------------

It's a boobie trap.

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:: 2006 6 October :: 8.09 pm
:: Music: Box Car Racer: I Feel So

Dating sounds like a great idea. It comes with snacks.

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:: 2006 4 October :: 11.09 pm

Fergie: London Bridge
I got carded at a bar. I had no ID on me. I still got served. I love Wisconsin.

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:: 2006 4 October :: 3.47 pm




You Are Barney



You could have been an intellectual leader...



Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer



You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps



Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

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:: 2006 2 October :: 8.10 pm

Six months has been revised to 10 days…

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:: 2006 27 September :: 10.24 pm

I share my birthday with Google, although I am 16 years older.

Birthday presents:

iPod video black 30 gb
MB club renewal
Porsche book
Rent (dvd)
$25

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:: 2006 26 September :: 9.50 pm

They think it’s liver cancer. It might have started in the pancreas. She should have six months to live. Think? Might? Should? Maybe it’s just me, but if I wanted a guess why not visit the bum on the corner? I’m sure the largest hospital in the state is capable for testing for cancer, how dumb are these people? Are biopsies fantasy things on TV shows? What if it’s something else that’s easily treated?

Oh well, she’s old and it is to be expected. It’s just frustrating to have doctors that put so little effort into their job. After all those years of schooling you’d think that they’d have some confidence or intelligence.

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:: 2006 23 September :: 9.10 pm

Just who is the intended audience for Billy Elliot?

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:: 2006 18 September :: 6.09 pm

You’ve been in this country a year. Modify your nouns, damn it!

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:: 2006 15 September :: 12.05 am

Anyone ever been caught doing the most private of private things?

Last night my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on.

There's not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants, and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minuets later she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the Simpsons.

I don't really don't know what else to say.

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:: 2006 15 September :: 12.00 am

Yippee I get to skip class to testify in court. :-(

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:: 2006 8 September :: 9.41 pm



I'm pre-orgasmic!

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