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2005 18 October :: 10.02 pm
Come on, pet my musket.
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2005 16 October :: 10.36 pm
What a bitch of a day…
I may decide to expand on this tomorrow, but at this point, I’m glad the day is over.
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2005 16 October :: 6.10 am
I hate work...
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2005 12 October :: 11.49 pm
From Kate's away message:
And we laid in my bed
Like a train wreck
And we both got laid
Like concrete
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2005 12 October :: 11.43 pm
I GRADUATE AT THE END OF SPRING SEMESTER!
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2005 12 October :: 10.14 pm
Beer is an excellent study aid.
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2005 11 October :: 8.03 pm
My professor just spelled ski with two i's (skii), and doesn't realize that it's spelled wrong...
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2005 11 October :: 4.01 pm
 | You scored as Iceman. Iceman is a very powerful but volitile X-man. His ego and reluctance to follow orders means that he often clashes with Cyclops. Despite being immature sometimes, he's very popular with the ladies and is an extremely powerful X-Man. Powers: Can lower the temperature in areas around him. Basically, he has a near limitless ability to freeze things and make massive amounts of ice.
Iceman | | 85% | Rogue | | 75% | Storm | | 70% | Wolverine | | 65% | Cyclops | | 60% | Gambit | | 60% | Jean Grey | | 50% | Beast | | 50% | Colossus | | 50% | Emma Frost | | 45% | Nightcrawler | | 10% |
Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com |
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2005 10 October :: 9.56 pm
One of my mom's is gay. She's bad at dancing. She built our house though.
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2005 6 October :: 4.36 pm
It doesn't make sense that old people drive so slow. They don't have that much time left.
Bill Johnson
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2005 3 October :: 11.00 pm
It’s called the hooker law. It says if you poke holes in something big and strong it gets very weak.
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2005 2 October :: 12.00 am
:: Mood: happy
I’m in a good mood. Very good for some reason. First time in quite a while actually. Ug.
Season premier of Alias was a bitch. They killed off the cute guy; they had better have a good replacement.
I want another car.
They gay people are multiplying at work.
Why is school so much harder here? How is it that I’m actually learning something now? I hate exams. I’ve never spent this much time on homework before. EVER.
It’s weird to see a black guy in Menards answer his phone and carry a conversation in German.
I really want to go car shopping. Stupid money.
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2005 30 September :: 11.40 am
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2005 29 September :: 3.08 pm
Dear Fucker... You are my fuckin friend...And i hope u kno thats fuckin true...no matter what the fuck happens... i will stand the fuck by u... i will fuckin be there for u... when ever the fuck u need me... to lend a fuckin hand.... to do a fuckin good deed...so fuckin call on me....whenever the fuck u need me...Fuck, i will always be there...Even to the bitter fuckin end...
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2005 27 September :: 11.30 pm
What a boring birthday. I spent the whole day in class.
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2005 22 September :: 12.39 pm
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
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2005 22 September :: 1.13 am
Rob and Hera’s divorce is getting nasty. She filed domestic abuse charges against him (the DA dropped them) he filed vandalism charges against her (the DA is pressing charges). She’s on crystal meth again, looks like she lost about 100 lbs.
FedEx damaged my new desk, it’s been re-ordered. Fuckers.
I’m still doing homework, don’t want to finish.
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2005 21 September :: 12.25 am
Dammit. I “taped” Bones tonight. Except the 8pm on the website is actually 7pm here.
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2005 20 September :: 6.08 pm
I'm an idiot for taking six courses this semester.
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2005 20 September :: 4.07 pm
"Draft beer, not soldiers"
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2005 20 September :: 2.50 pm
Found this while researching a paper.
Well, of course, decent people don’t hate gays; they merely disapprove -- and for very good reasons, too! So here they are -- the top five reasons to disapprove of homosexuality.
IT’S A SIN. You’ve heard the litany of biblical passages used to condemn homosexuality: Genesis, Leviticus, Romans. Probably you have also read books by such writers as John Boswell and John McNeill, who claim that the Bible doesn’t really prohibit homosexuality as we know it. Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not convinced. I don’t think that their arguments really resolve anything. I will cheerfully admit that biblical writers disliked homosexuality.
The point is, so what? It’s not like the Bible has never been wrong before. A few years ago the Catholic church finally apologized for its role in persecuting men like Giordano Bruno and Galileo, who had the audacity to suggest that the biblical description of the cosmos does not correspond with reality. More recently, the pope has acknowledged that there is real evidence to support evolution: "fresh knowledge leads to recognition of the theory of evolution as more than just a hypothesis." (Read statements by the pope on cosmology and evolution.) I don’t think that many people realize the full significance of this. It is an admission that the Bible is completely wrong about something as important as the nature of the world that we live in. And despite the bizarre efforts of "creation scientists," science has disproved a global Noachian flood, which supposedly occurred about 2,350 B.C.
The New Testament says that devil possession causes people to be blind, dumb, to suffer seizures and convulsions, and to act in a wild and violent manner. Jesus not only believed in such devils, but also reportedly had actual conversations with them and gave his disciples power to cast them out. But today we know that there are medical reasons for these conditions and that they are not caused by devils and demons inhabiting people's bodies.
Leviticus 25:44-46 is an enthusiastic endorsement of slavery. Christian masters felt no conflict between Leviticus and the commandment to "love thy neighbor." The Bible authorized slavery; therefore it was natural and right. Jesus never condemned slavery, and Paul insisted that slaves should obey their masters (Eph.6:5, Col. 3:22, 1Tim. 6:1, Tit. 2:9). However, we now regard slavery as a violation of basic human rights. Did God change his mind, or did we apply an extra-biblical standard of morality?
So the Bible is not always an infallible guide to what is true or moral. If science can enlighten the Bible's views on cosmology, human origins, geological processes, and medicine, why can it not also enlighten the Bible on sexual orientation?
People who believe that homosexuality is a sin will not allow any genetic basis for this behavior. If it is a sin, it must be a choice. They will tell you stories about “ex-gays,” people who have converted from gay to straight. But of course, other people have made the opposite transition, realizing that they are gay only after they have married and had children. These stories do not prove anything about sexual orientation, but do testify to the power of social influences and the overwhelming desire of some people to conform to what is expected of them. How can anyone choose which gender they are sexually attracted to? If homosexuality is a choice, heterosexuality must also be a choice. But in fact, straight people do not believe that they choose their sexual orientation; they regard heterosexuality as natural, as a part of human nature. How then can we believe that a small minority of people, who are born heterosexual, somehow attain the power, even at a very early age, to overrule their own natures and choose an alternate orientation?
IT’S UNNATURAL. You’ve probably noticed that humans and other animals are male and female, and that they complement each other physiologically. To some people this implies natural order and rational design. The Bible states that God directly created the first man and woman. But if this is true, gender should be fixed for eternity. In other words, males could be produced only by males and females only by females. The Bible cannot explain how a male and female can mate and produce offspring of either or both sexes. We, of course, know that gender is determined by the shuffling of chromosomes, which genetically control the development of the body. But life when it first evolved was not distinguished by gender, and that is still true of at least some kinds of organisms. Some animals, such as crocodiles and turtles, do not have sex-determining chromosomes; instead, gender is determined by environmental conditions, like heat and cold.
Heterosexuality includes a form of reproduction which has been successful, but that does not prove rational design. Heterosexuality certainly isn’t universal; some organisms reproduce asexually, some by means of parthenogenesis, some are hermaphroditic, and some species utilize different modes of reproduction at different times. For example, biologists have discovered a strange little creature called S. Pandora, which lives happily around the mouthparts of Norwegian lobsters, reproducing asexually. But when the lobster molts, S. Pandora also gets thrown out, so each one of the creatures gives birth to either a male or female. After mating, the female gives birth to a larva, and both parents die. The larva finds a lobster host and again starts reproducing asexually. Nature loves experimentation and variety.
The argument from design becomes less convincing when we consider viruses. Viruses lack the machinery required to produce the proteins that they need for reproduction, but they are adept at invading cells of other organisms, commandeering the cellular machinery, and forcing the host cell to manufacture proteins for their own replication. Are we supposed to believe that this ingenious ability of viruses was designed by God? If not, why do we believe that heterosexual reproduction is divinely ordained?
The truth is that straight people believe that heterosexuality is the natural order because that is what they know, and they can’t conceive of anything different.
IT’S NONPRODUCTIVE. Homosexuals can’t reproduce. That is what is claimed, and it implies that gay people are defective and of less value than straights. But there isn’t anything wrong with the reproductive systems of gay men and lesbians. Many gay people either have children or would like to, and science has provided the means to do so. The only question is, will society permit gays to raise families without harassment? On the other hand, society does not condemn straights who either can’t have children or choose not to.
Despite all the rhetoric that we hear about the importance of marriage, family, and family values, the Bible presents quite a different view. Jesus would not allow one of his disciples to return to bury his father (Matt. 8:21-22). When his disciples asked if it was best not to marry, Jesus made a startling reply, telling them to act as if they were eunuchs (Matt. 19:11-12). Paul regarded marriage as hardly more than a concession to people who cannot control their sexual passions, and he expected that those who were really devoted to the Lord would remain single (1 Cor. 7:1, 8-11). Paul even reinterpreted Genesis 2:24 to agree with his preference for celibacy: “'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.’ This is a great mystery, and I take it to mean Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:31-32). Thus for Paul, earthly marriage is merely symbolic of the spiritual marriage between Christ and his followers, and Paul apparently believed that a person had a greater chance of attaining the heavenly marriage, if he eschewed earthly marriage. Lest any doubt remain, Revelation makes explicit who will constitute the elect of God: “It is these who have not defiled themselves with women, for they are chaste” (Rev. 14:4). The New Testament clearly favors celibacy over marriage. Ironically, Christians, who have exalted marriage, often prescribe celibacy for gay people, but not for themselves.
IT’S SOCIALLY HARMFUL. This charge is the dumping ground for every crackpot theory which diseased minds can invent, such as that homosexuality is responsible for the fall of nations, that gays have an agenda to destroy the family and sodomize children, or that AIDS is a gay disease.
Okay, so Alexander the Great was gay, and perhaps Julius Caesar as well (if you believe Seutonius), but they didn’t tear down their nations; they made them more powerful. One might also point out that the Roman Empire did not fall until after Constantine became a Christian.
Have heterosexuals really done all that well in creating happy, well-functioning families and societies? Are gay people really responsible for such things as spousal beatings, the abuse of children, divorce, and teen pregnancies? Are women raped by gay men? Is it okay for parents to throw out a gay child? If we are talking about socially lethal behavior, heterosexuals need no help from gay people.
To say that AIDS is a gay disease or God’s judgment ignores the fact that diseases are either viral or genetic. To be a gay disease, AIDS would have to be both genetic and linked to another genetic condition which causes homosexuality. But it is clear that heterosexuals can also contract the disease; it doesn’t discriminate according to sexual orientation. In an effort to turn blame back again onto gays, some people claimed that AIDS is not caused by a virus at all, but by drug abuse. However, scientists actually succeeded in infecting a chimpanzee with AIDS, and the chimp reportedly was not abusing drugs! In fact scientists are now certain that the HIV virus originated in Africa from its simian counterpart, SIV. (This is not as strange as it sounds. The influenza virus, for example, can infect birds, mammals, and humans.)
The religious right constantly claims that their opposition to gay people is not based on prejudice, but on health statistics. Their position is that homosexuality should not be tolerated, because of the risk of becoming infected with HIV, leading to a tragically shortened life span. They simply have our best interests at heart. However, if this line of reasoning is to be pursued, they will soon have to start making distinctions on the basis of race and nationality. The CDC reports that in the United States in 1998, 45% of new AIDS cases were among blacks and 20% were among latinos. The rate of AIDS among blacks (66.4) is two times greater than the rate for latinos (28.1) and eight times greater than the rate for whites (8.2). Does the religious right want to argue that the black and latino lifestyles should not be tolerated, because they produce more homosexuals and more AIDS cases than whites? Other statistics can produce other bases for intolerance. The World AIDS Conference recently reported that among teenagers in Kenya and Zambia, more females are infected with HIV than males, and most of the females were infected by men aged 35 and over. Should we be intolerant of the heterosexual lifestyles in these countries? The life span of Russians is considerably lower than for Americans. Should we be intolerant of the Russian lifestyle? Certainly, lifestyles can contribute to the spread of AIDS, and everyone should take responsibility for their actions. But the issue is not sexual orientation, race, or nationality, but preventing the spread of disease among every sexual orientation, race, and nationality. Health statistics are not a basis for making moral judgments or for ranking people on a scale of tolerance.
Some people seem to realize that they are going to lose the argument that there is no genetic basis for homosexuality, so they try to nullify genetic evidence beforehand by claiming that it is irrelevant. For example, one argument is that there is an analogy between homosexuality and alcoholism. Alcoholism may be genetic, but society is justified in disapproving of alcoholism, even if a person can claim that he did not choose to be an alcoholic and can’t change. However, I fail to see the analogy. Moderate drinking is perfectly acceptable in our society. Is the argument proposing that moderate homosexuality is acceptable, but that some people may have a genetic variation which makes it impossible for them to practice homosexuality without going to excess?
Homosexuality isn’t like alcoholism; it isn’t like anything except heterosexuality. Heterosexuals claim that they did not choose their sexual orientation and can’t change, but apparently it is not permissible for gay people to say the same about their orientation.
And then there is the argument that homosexual behavior is illegal. Yes, it is. But not because homosexuality threatens life or property, but simply because straight society has chosen to criminalize it. And having made this arbitrary judgment, it then has a reason to deny equal rights to gay people.
IT’S DISGUSTING. I’m sorry, but this is not an argument; it is simply the expression of personal feeling. In a democracy laws should not be based on what some people consider to be disgusting, but of course, that is precisely the rationalization for sodomy laws.
Speaking of Sodom, it is interesting that people who use the biblical story to condemn homosexuality never continue on past the destruction of Sodom. After the Lord turned Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt, Lot’s daughters got their father drunk and then had sex with him. The Lord was apparently unperturbed by these acts of incest, for he allowed Lot’s daughters to live, and they became the progenitors of the Moabites and Ammonites. But this is not the end of the story, for Ruth was a Moabitess, and she was the mother of Obed, the father of Jesse, the father of David. The gospel of Matthew includes Ruth in the genealogy of Jesus. I personally find incest to be disgusting, but according to the Bible, the drunken incest between Lot and his daughters contributed to the lineage which produced Jesus.
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2005 19 September :: 9.13 pm
Monica Lewinski was a KGB trained sex agent mole.
Wanna spit in my hand? We’re Scully and Mulder.
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2005 16 September :: 8.24 pm
Here are the victims of the November 21st shootings in Sawyer County that led to murder charges against Chai Soua Vang, a 36-year-old truck driver from St. Paul, Minn. All were relatives and friends who gathered to hunt from a cabin on private wooded land near Exeland.
Vang was convicted on all charges Friday afternoon:
KILLED:
--Robert Crotteau, 42, who owned a concrete construction business in Rice Lake. He was shot once in the back.
--Joey Crotteau, 20, Robert Crotteau's son who was a partner in the concrete business. He was shot four times in the back or side.
--Denny Drew, 55, a car salesman in Rice Lake. He was shot once in the lower chest.
--Allan Laski, 43, the manager of a Rice Lake area lumber yard. He was shot three times in the back.
--Mark Roidt, 28, a friend of the Drew family who worked on a race-car pit crew with Drew. He was shot once in the head.
--Jessica Willers, 27, a nurse from Rice Lake who had moved to Green Bay. She was engaged. She was shot twice in the back.
WOUNDED
--Lauren Hesebeck, 48, a manager at Link Brothers Ford in Rice Lake. Drew was his brother-in-law. He was shot in the shoulder.
--Terry Willers, 47, the father of Jessica Willers. He worked in the Crotteaus' concrete business. He was shot in the neck.
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2005 15 September :: 3.58 pm
From the t-shirt hell newsletter:
[Hollywood Hurricane]
Oprah Winfrey is a close personal friend of mine. We're both wealthy, successful, influential black women so we have a lot in common. We've shared a lot of laughs, a lot of tears, and a lot of the same cock. One time we strapped on 12 inch studded dildos and double teamed Jamie Foxx. I like to think we were the inspiration for all that, "hey ho" screaming he did at the last round of award shows. And when he ate a quart of mayonnaise out of Oprah's ass and came up smiling? Well, they should have given him the Oscar just for that.
Recently, Oprah brought her Team Angel Relief bus to the casting offices of The Surreal Life and Celebrity Fit Club; shanghaied a group of B-List celebrities; and brought them down to New Orleans to help out with the relief effort. Due to my close personal relationship with Oprah, I have some exclusive stories from her trip.
One of these celebrities she took with her was Matthew McConaughey.
McConaughey is best known for playing his bongos naked, and not being
Matthew Modine. McConaughey said, "I understand the suffering these people are going through. On the set of my movie, "Sahara," I had to listen to Penelope Cruz go on and on about her milky vaginal discharge. Although with that accent, it did sound kind of sexy. Plus, this one time on Celebrity Fear Factor, I had to eat a bug."
Another one of the celebrities Oprah brought along was Lisa Ling. Ling topped People magazine's 50 most consistently annoying people on the planet list for the second year in a row. Ling dazzled the local officials with hard hitting questions like "Hey, where did all this water come from?", "What happened to Old Orleans?", and "Can you recommend a good place for brunch?" Ling proved to be a big hit with the refugees when she and McConaughey did an impromptu rendition of the dirty Vietnamese hooker scene from his last hit "Full Metal Jacket".
Chris Rock helped to staff a food bank in Houston. He was almost beaten to death with a brick of cheese shortly after starting his usually popular, "I love black people, but I hate niggers" routine. Afterwards, several men in the crowd "reassigned" him from handing out sandwiches, and instead put him in charge of tossing their salads.
Oprah Winfrey went down to the devastated area accompanied by truckloads of food. The evacuees were devastated to learn that the trucks merely contained Oprah's breakfast.
At one point, Oprah tried to show solidarity with the refugees by sticking one of her enormous sausage legs into the flooded street. Water levels instantly rose 3 feet across New Orleans. Fortunately, for everyone concerned, Stedman was able to coax her back into her bus by leaving a drippy trail of nachos up the stairs.
There have been many significant pledges. Diddy and Jay-Z jointly pledged 1 million dollars. Not to be outdone by black people, the exceptionally white Nicolas Cage and Celine Dion both pledged a million dollars apiece. But the most appreciated pledge so far came from local hero Harry Connick Jr., who has pledged to give up any more attempts at acting.
When pharmaceuticals were in short supply, Courtney Love donated the contents of her purse. It proved to be enough to keep all of the hospitals going for another week. "If that's not enough," she said, "There is a condom full of heroin lodged in my colon."
People have made a lot of noise about my hero Sean Penn. They say that his visit to New Orleans was nothing but a publicity stunt. Penn has been widely criticized for coming to New Orleans with a personal photographer and a leaky boat. Critics say that he's an arrogant, egomaniacal, self-righteous douche bag. When in actuality, Penn claims his visit was research for a new movie role. In the film, Penn plays an arrogant, egomaniacal, self-righteous douche bag.
As a final gesture, Oprah donated a pair of panties that was quickly cut up to provide blankets for over 10,000 evacuees. The mayor of New Orleans was slightly incensed by the donation. "I asked her if we could just borrow one of her old diaphragms and she refused," he said. "Now I don't know what we'll do until we can get a new roof on the Superdome."
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2005 13 September :: 12.57 pm
Bumper sticker found on an SUV: Whiptastic Handling.
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2005 8 September :: 3.01 pm
Quote from a professor, “Be careful who you sit next to. I sat next to a girl and two years later, we were married. So if you’re sitting next to two guys, you’re fucked.”
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2005 8 September :: 1.19 pm
Sorry for the one random thoughts, but this was written in multiple sittings.
I now have a laptop. So nice to be sitting in the hallway at school catching up on Woohu. You guys are posting too much, until I get a stable source of internet at least. I don’t get internet until next week sometime, but I have wireless at school, and it’s free! I’m partially moved into the apartment. The one that I looked at was much cleaner than the one that I am in. The neighbor upstairs already called the police on me.
The ECWE Menards store is very amusing. I keep comparing it to the KZO store and miss how simple it used to be. I spent about 30 minutes in the Millwork department before I was moved to Floorcoverings. My manager is gay, the assistant is a pedophile. Lewd references are the norm; it’s a much older environment. Not quite as modern as the old store was, less politically correct, much more relaxed.
I opened the “dragon” pictures in the hallway at school. Several people were standing beside me, not sure if any saw. Slightly embarrassing moment. Fuckers.
I can’t believe how nice it is to be sitting here typing as I wait for my professor to show up.
So far one Nazi teacher, one bubbly.
I like Stout’s campus more than WMU’s. There isn’t any frilly shit here. No sprinklers, no random flowerbeds, just trees and some minimal landscaping around the buildings. I also like how campus is integrated into the city. It isn’t like WMU where you felt like you were entering a separate area when you crossed the street, it just flows here.
Life is not perfect, but I think it will work out better than what it was.
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2005 30 August :: 10.23 pm
:: Music: Coldplay: Warning Sign
Tomorrow is my last day in Kalamazoo. If anyone wants to do anything, I’m open to ideas. I’m going to try and pack all morning, hopefully finish early afternoon.
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2005 30 August :: 6.57 pm
:: Music: Coldplay: In My Place
I hate cleaning. It’s so pointless that I’m cleaning now, before I move out. I conned Andy into helping me move the loveseat tomorrow. I’ve gotten pretty far packing everything; although I know I have so much further to go. Pick up the trailer tomorrow morning, and have to turn in my keys sometime during that afternoon/evening.
Work at the Kalamazoo Menards is done. Got a tub full of candy from Kris. Most of the people there didn’t even realize I was leaving. Didn’t get to say goodbye to a few people I wanted to, for some reason I didn’t see them yesterday or today. Linda was about to cry, very amusing.
Back to packing…
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2005 29 August :: 9.54 pm
Went to a BMW driving even when I went back home last week. Most fun that I’ve had driving in a long time. Got to take out new bimmers and pound on them for charity. A dollar for each mile was donated to the Susan G Komen foundation. About 140 miles, plus the $10 I threw in the bucket.
I hit a fucking deer with my truck.
If anyone has free time on Wednesday, I need help moving. Mostly just carrying the loveseat, but any help would be appreciated.
My current insurance carrier doesn’t cover Wisconsin, so I need to find a new one within the next week.
The leasing office put a vacant card in my mailbox while I was in Wisconsin. So I haven’t’ been getting any mail.
Kris’s grammar is amazing. She used “are” when she should have used “our” when referring to an object.
Spent the night with Katie on Saturday. Interesting night. Talked a bit, met quite a few people. One really cute guy, and especially nice too. Straight bastard. Went to Up and Under. Ok place, really expensive though. Saw Katie’s new place.
Last day of work tomorrow.
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