Megan's Journal

:: 2004 4 January :: 6.12pm
:: Mood: hateful

i'm so annoyed right now. i don't want to eat dinner because i think i'll grumble at someone and then get yelled at.

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Janice_2001

:: 2004 3 January :: 7.21pm

I wish all this pain would go away and something would happen so I don't have to put up with her anymore. She is taking him away from me and he never wants to spend time with his family anymore. That pisses me off and I wish she would DIE!!!

:: 2004 3 January :: 1.14am

DAD WHERE ARE YOU!

:: 2004 2 January :: 9.37pm

ya know i try to have a good life..go see my friends have a good relationship with my dad and go to my aunts house....but when you cant it fucking is depressing. I try really hard not to be depressed..i do. but its so fucking hard to. when i am around my frineds i forget about everything....and if i am at my grandmas i go fucking outa my mind its like she complains so much about us or how we do her shit i fuckin shake and then i just go somewhere else and break down...and thats sad....i really do wish i had a perfect like but if it were perfect i would pry still be depressed...i wish i could live like the Camdens on 7Th Heaven...they seem to have a perfect life..the kind that i would like to have where the mom likes to take care of you....unlike my mom....and the dad tries to help others along with his kids and listen to his kids...where as mine is a good father but when he says he'll do something and dont (as in getting me a counseler) that gets me mad...*sighs* i hate my life....what a good fuckin start of the year!

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:: 2004 2 January :: 4.13pm

Well its the 2 day of the new year and im already bored..have nothin to do....cept I am talking to Jenni on MSN YAY! i have missed her a lot...she is an awesome person...and me her and stacy want to get together sometime. well i have to go byes!

:: 2004 2 January :: 3.43pm

Breaking through the clouds sending heat to your Soul
I wake up and there isn't much to see, I long for summer. I need the heat. I need to sweat while just sitting down. I want to be warm again. I can't stand the cold. And it's not even snowing! Whats up with that? It is actually kind of humid out today. So i think i'm going to put on a sweat shirt and run around outside, just to feel uncomfortably warm.

:: 2004 2 January :: 1.31pm
:: Mood: excited

things i am proud of today:

1. My reorganized closet
2. The things i bought yesterday
3. My feet

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:: 2004 1 January :: 8.32pm
:: Music: sponge-have you seen mary?

i'm so hopeless with money. i think when i grow up i'm going to be very poor because i don't know when to stop. i do look considerably hotter though.

being with renee was cool, we had a lot of fun stealing babies and coughing and acting like seventh graders.

tomorrow will be fun too

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:: 2004 1 January :: 2.56pm

well another year gone by. woohooo...not. well i was just thinking about things today and well to think of it i really didnt have a great year at all last year. The thing that Happened with my mom and my sisters and I. My cuzin moved to the UP. My dads accident on the bike. to many.....but there were also Good things...meeting new ppl having new friends such as Cj Jared, Dj, Amanda Maxwell, Stacy *did* ride my bus (hehe) and all the ppl on my bus that I *like*. my dad met Janet..and she is awesome and i love her to death... my dad lived through his accident, My family got baptized so yeah and i became closer friends with autumn, kelli, amanda. and so yeah well i have to go ok? love yas and jenni i WILL call you ok?!?!

:: 2004 1 January :: 12.00am

Happy New Year

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:: 2003 31 December :: 6.04pm

the sky is really pretty right now, it's like the end of dusk and the light is still faint and i can see one star.

i guess i'm as disapointed as i thought. something like this usually happens. so maybe tomorrow.

:: 2003 31 December :: 3.03pm

i am feeling the tremendous hurt right now.

Janice_2001

:: 2003 30 December :: 10.37pm

Things are really bad again!!!:(

:: 2003 30 December :: 9.44pm

what's your poison?

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:: 2003 30 December :: 8.34pm

it was like being ripped away all over again.

:: 2003 30 December :: 4.15pm

kiss my ass2
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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:: 2003 30 December :: 4.08pm
:: Music: coldplay-in my place

i don't know. i'd give it an okay with a side of brooding boys.

it would have been funner if we were in the right place. they aren't part of our normal lives. an invasion of that doesn't feel right.

:: 2003 30 December :: 4.06pm

i dont know what to do...he likes me and i like him...but he isnt ready for a gf...he says he dont wanna hurt me if we do get into a relationship..then one day we start flirting a lot and then he asks me a ? about weather god should be based on the relationship or flirtin and i said both but i guess that was wrong for him because he dont seem to think that flirting will make a good relationship...but everyone flirts. I dont know what to do. then we got into a talk about it and he got mad and i got mad and then i cried cuz he said he couldnt go out with me and that i should understand but i guess i dont. he yelled at me for flirting with him and not takeing it slow but the thing is..he flirted back....so its kinda his fault to right? i mean i dont know i am so confused and hurt right now to even know. But amanda is there for me and was there when it happened i love you amanda an thanks for your shoulder....

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:: 2003 30 December :: 12.25pm

what do i do.............

:: 2003 30 December :: 12.09pm

Fuck it...i try really hard and i knew it wouldnt happen...i thought maybe i am getting lucky....but then it was called off....i knew it was to good to be true for me *sighs*

:: 2003 30 December :: 9.45am

i'm so bored right now. i need to get out of this hell hole. (my house) i need something to do. somewhere to go. its too cold outside to do anything really, and i'm all alone so that makes it even worse. josh got a new number so i can't call him...and i don't know many other peoples numbers except girls, and the ones i know, i wouldn't really go hang out with anyway. so, that leaves me here. in this chair typing senseless stuff that no one is going to read.

i need more friends on this thing. the trouble is, most people don't put there names in the gosh darnded profile. Thats what its for people! agh, i probably didn't put it in either...sorry for yelling or whatever.

I NEED SOMETHING TO DO. I'M BORED OUT OF MY MIND. SAVE ME.

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Janice_2001

:: 2003 29 December :: 8.36pm

One more week of break, then back to school!

:: 2003 29 December :: 11.45am

great, just great. today is going terribly. first...i wake up. yeah..and then i go to make a bagel right...so i get the bagels, and put one in the toaster thing. its in there for like five minutes right, and nothing happens. i look at the plug...lying on the counter. soo, i think, no big deal, i'll just...plug it in. 3 minutes later i go in the kitchen to get the cream cheese, you know, the creamy cream, the cheesy creamy cheese. the creamy cheesy cream. you know, so...i locate the little silver tub of Philidelphia Cream Cheese...reach my hand in the fridge (this is the suspensful part of my story, whats gonna happen next???) and grab the little tub of creamy cheesy cream, you know, the cheesy cream, the creamy white cheese, and its EMPTY!!!!

then i smell a horrible smell...a smell that can mean only one thing. Burnt Bagel. I hate burnt bagels. So...in a desperate attempt to free the bagel from its thing confines of burning...i bend over the trash with a knife and bagel in my hand, and start scraping the burnt part of the bagel in the trash. then i drop the knife in the trash.

i reach slowly in the empty trash can to see if anyone is looking...if anyone would call me a 'trash picker', and slowly wrap my fingers around the cold metal blade.

i continue to srape it off until it looks farely good.

So...there i am. A recently cleaned off bagel on a paper plate, standing in front of my counter with a 'might as well be' broken toaster. and no cream cheese. no cheesy cream...no creamy cheesy cream. the cheesy creamy cheese. NONE!!! the tub completely cleaned out. WHO WOULD PUT A COMPLETELY CLEANED OUT TUB OF CREAM CHEESE IN THE REFRIDGERATOR!!!???!!?!!??!?!????*shivers with disgust* I wouldn't..thats for sure.

so i start thinking...its quarter to noon anyway, might as well have a sandwhich. so out of my cleaned off bagel i make the best sandwhich i have ever eaten!! cut up pickle...tomatoe, cheese, miracle whip, ham aannnnndd turkey (thats right, two meats!!) lettuce, mustard..and some arby's sauce i found in the butter tray.

and you know what? it was good. DAMN GOOD!!

just when i thought my day was turning around, driving out of the ditch...it did a complete u-turn and drove right back into that ditch!!!

i go to take a shower...i go to get my pants and shirt and boxers right? so, i get my shirt that says trans am on it, and my boxers that have little snow men on them, and then...look desperately for pants. and find none! none...none at all. so, i have to throw a load of laundry in. big deal right? right. buuuut...i soon come to find we have NO SOAP!!! so i throw some dishsoap in the washer with a few pairs of pants and slam the lid down like i just don't care. and i didn't care.

not at all....

so i sit down at the computer again. staring blankly at the empty screen. an orange messenger thing blinking at the bottom. and then i start to laugh. menacingly....

dun dun dunnnnnnn!!!!!

(the end)

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