my big adventure at the crown o.0 well some of it.
Last night was dead good. I drank a laaarrge amount, 16 aftershocks, lots of bacardi breezers, some random cocktail and a random pint that just appered in my hand, like magic. I spent farrrr to much money, went out with 50 and came back with the changer from a fiver after buying a happy meal for tomathy.
Stacey was dead drunk, ive never seen stacey that drunk before eep. Yeah but anyway. I woke up in some strange house with my bra undone (buh?), it was scarey untill i rolled over and saw tom (then it was terrifying 0.0 heh) so it wasnt so scarey and random and then simmons was there, to i thought hed climbed out of the fire but thinking about it now i realise he was proberbly slept on the floor. So i asked the whole where are we and what did i do things and turns out we were in some guy called garys house o.0 still in boro and that id been caried home and vomited allllll over the bathroom (and my leg) then passed out. God i bet it was dead attractive. I feel dead cheeky now, as if we slept in the bed and the guy whos bed it was slept on the floor. I woke up drunk and so vomited at home too, nice new stain for me mam >.< Yish, i feel very ill now.
All in all, i had a fucking class night! dont think ill be drinking for a while though.
OOP, i have to say thank you sooooo much to tom (and simmons) for looking after me/carrying me home and stuff *sexing*.

My weird as dream
I had the oddest dream last night.
i went to a slipknot concert and it was at this really posh hotels pool. At the concert i got drunk and decided i wanted to have sex with Joey Jordison but i couldnt find him to do him. I did fid Cory Taylor however but i didnt really want to have sex with him but i couldnt find Joey so i thought 'slluurrralrightthensslluurr' and ended up having sex with Corey Taylor instead Lol. He didnt take his mask off before you ask *looks at tom* so dont ask.
Lol, concidering im not the biggest slipknot fan in the world and dont find either Joey Jordison or Corey Taylor very attractive ... bit strage really.

first proper exam over ^_^
Well I did my sociology research methods paper today. i think i did well, I could have done better like, i didnt revise snowball sampling well enough and that was the six mark question but i did ok on it n i did well on all the other questions so ill be kay on that sectio me thinks.
i finally got the balls in my earrings wayyy finaly!
Tis my toms birthday tomorow, hes 18 bless him. Were just gonna give him his photo book n stuff, ive re drawn that big dragon stomping and smooshing on things and shoved that in too cause he likes drawings and arty stuff and dragons kick ass ey.
Genral studies exam tomorow urgh its so shit.
Off to see the damo ... ian on thursday. he sended me a text saying umm stuff o.0 the other night, i was half asleap when i read it though so i cant really remember exactly what it said, i think he might have been pissed or stoned cause he cant remember later. But yeah anyway we arranged to meet up on thursay n go for a drink n catch up and stuff maybe talk about what ever it was theat felt really important at the time and do some shopping of course woot (that'll be fun for him eep). Maybe ill get my dvd back too, mam keeps nagging me about it (and the dreamcast but she aint getting that back anytime soon >.<) and he can have his key too as thomas dear brought it for me today.
I want a tattoooo! damn you.

suns gone in =(
Gah, I miss Damian loads today. I was out in the garden reading something not very interesting about positivistis and interprutivists and like all of a sudden thought 'damian should be here today digging up the garden and playing with the trees and making fires' and i got all sad =( aarrgghh i miss him.
Im gonna go and put love actually on so i can have lil cry without people asking whats wrong.

Wow
its such the lovelyest day ever, there isnt a cloud to be seen. Im going outside to revise about sociological methods mother fuckers
\m/>.<\m/

Sunny days are shit when i have to do the college thing
Today was such a lovely day ^_^ sooo sunny. Every one was sat outside and tom took me and stace to tescos and bought us lunch (fruit salad, milkshake, bread and haribos) and we ate it outside in the sun it was great. We made a really cool foodthing, friji milkshake and haribo star mix sandwiches, they actualy tasted really good. heh. class as.
Im so stressed at the moment though, i cant relax anymore. My first exam is on tuesday and study leave starts on friday. I feel like i dont know anything like as much as i need to. urgh. Oh well, bastard eh? And home sucks at the moment too, much tension.
OOh we got robed the other day!! I was in the house alone too, eep. The cunt came in the back door and emptied my dads wallet of his cash and cards and even his pic of me! what a wanker. scarey as.
I cant wait for next saturday its my first big night out in aaagggess ive got about £40/£50 to blow aswell so me mez and stace are gonna just buy pitchers of cocktails and get shitfaced ^_^ I got a pretty new top for the occasion, its a black shirt but its cut off at the sholders so my sholders can show, its dead pretty. weee.
Urgh martins really annoying me, hes being all clingy and 'flleehh i really like you' again, i hate it, makes my skin crawl. No really it does. Ive even shouted FUCK OFF at him but he wont!!
*sigh* i feel blue. like really blue. I kinda just need a hug i think.

Apparently
[18:18:29] my mind is m: so......you cheated on me twice ey!! and
nearly destroyed mine and frogsa relationship
[18:18:33] my mind is m: well done
Fucking great. The fact that when I shagged john I wasnt even going out with damian, it was on the night me and damian had met.
I dont belive how quickly he can change his oppinions to suit his fucking mood. Last time i had a conversation with him friends didnt mean fuck all to him and he hated frog. And its fucking ritch aswell concidering the amont of friendships ive lost (and almost lost) due to him.
Hes a fucking liar and a user and i have better people than that.
*sigh*
Anyway i havent updated in a while so i might as well, while im here.
Well everyone seems all better now. Which is good cause i dont like people crying at me all the time, im sure its bad for my skin heh.
Tom and staceys birthday soon!!! Were going to toms house for a bbq and bouncey castle and then on to the crown for staceys half of the day, NOTE TO SELF saturday 22nd dont forget.
Mike sent flowers to my house the other day, dead sweet ^_^ we had a big argument on msn the otherday and he was just genraly being a nob so he sent them to appologise. heee. i know hes a complete arse hole and i shouldnt have anything to do with the git, but he can be really sweet sometimes.
Oooh talking of sweetnes, jam and tom have got into kissing me and stace on the forehead everytime they leave. Its so cute hehe (appart from when toms lip rings hurt thats not cute at all!). Theyre the best. Jam wants me to help him draw a comic, how class would that be ^_^ oh and weve adopted merike, her laughs annoying but i loves her anyway.
I got a job too. At the new next in hartlepool £5.02 per hour, start next month. But as it happens the leeds move may actualy be happening, theres a training company down there for marketing and advertising and such like, youre supposed to have bog standard as levels or brill gcses and im hoping that ill be able to get in on my gcses, it pays living costs for students from far away so if i get a shitty little job ill be able to live easy peasy ^_^GO ME!
Everything seems to be going right for once.
Heh cant wait for next saturday. (even though the crown is shit on saturday, bleh) hehe.

why i dont like today
Today hasnt been a vary good day at all. Everyones been really upset or arguing and stuff and i cat do aything to make it better, i know its so trivial but i dont like people being upset.
Stacie and brownie had a huge argumet, over what i dont know yet but he was saying really mean stuff, should make english pretty awkward since i sit between them. them wifelet was upset because of boys and because she doesnt feel comfortable anywhere anymore. and then tom, theres really something wrong there, he posted something in his journal that worried me a bit so i asked him if he was ok and he gushed at me. him and jess are having trouble, her age is a major issue, his ex(gah i hate having the same name as her!) is still bothering him and basicly he just needs to escape for a while. Plus theres merike who is under lotsa stress at the moment.
Why does every one have all of these issues all of a sudden? Theres so much angstynes about. And it doesnt help that they all expect me to say something or do something to put things in perspective (apparently im good at it), but i cant.
GAH! i need to move but im trapped here.
in other, lighter news, i got all my dvds! pirates of the carribian, kill bill, master and comader, love actualy, texas chainsaw massacre, chicago, pulp fiction and bruce almighty. really good copies they all have the root menus and everything, gonna go watch texas chainsaw massacre now ^_^ (and hug teddys lots =( )

Weirdnes
I just had (what was) a really great nap. But i had the dream again and it was really ... yish. I woke up all shakey and stuff, i aint had one like that in a while either, rar. Ack hes such a cock peice.
Im angry with myslef for letting it still effect me. Its so stupid i shold be well over it by now, it wasnt even that much of a big deal really, some people get that kind of treatment for ages it only lasted a matter of months for me. Im such a cock. Fuckers.
I woke up and strait away reached for winne the pooh (not lil logan tiger or stomper tiger or gir), force of habbit i suppose. *needs a hug*

"BUnny!"
Today was really good. I didnt bother with lessons (i only had two anyway, tis only revision) and i just hung about with tom and jam and mez ^_^ then stace came and we got our noses peirced randomly. Stace really suits hers and i likes mine too, i want a smaller stud though, it was the smallest one they had but tis still a bit to big for my deformed nose. It made my eye cry this huge great big fat tear that ran all the way down my neck heh, dead good.
We went back to college after that though just to hang about for a while. Every one was making fun of jam cause he couldnt talk (cause hes just had his tongue done) and i stuck up for him so he shared his gummy bears with me =p (and humped me again, him and tom are really gonna have to stop that it looks so weird).
Ive stoped sleeping weirdly enough. I havent slept in 3 days. Im gonna try and get some sleep tonight though as im not off out. Well i kinda am but only to snuggle up with stace and tom and jam again (heh dead good ^_^)
GIRLIE NIGHT OUT NEXT FRIDAY! YIPPEE!

*sigh* why does every post have to have a title. youre so gay.
Well mike came over. Stuff happened, not full blown sexings but naked stuff. Dead cool day actualy ,just messed about lots and hung out. Actualy got me to relax aswell. First time in aaggeess (oh yeah and ive realised that i dont sleep to well anymore).
But turns out mike is a bit of a cock peice. He told me today (after all the oral sexing of course) that all the time hes known me he's had a girl friend. Fucking marvelous. He cheated on her with me when we were fucking first and he did it again today. He said hes really unhappy and wants to dump her so he can have a relationship with me, dick head, I dont believe a word of that. He asked me out again and i said no, i dont want a relationship at the moment, with anyone.
Gah, im not mad at mike, i dont want thing between us to change at all, just feel a bit bad thats all.
Lol tom keeps asking me what his surprise is, heh we got the photos back today, theyre dead good. Gonna asemble the book tomorow ^_^
Just got a call from damian ....

Londonings.
Sgood. London was cool, first day we did the aquarium but we got dead fed up and sleepy so went home early to have naps before we went to the west end to see the lion king!. it was soooo cool, the costumes and the coriography were amazing, the singing voices were reallly good, the acting wasnt that amazing it was still good though. Second day was the tate moderd, which didnt impress me as much as the last time, although id had a bigger collection of monets stuff which i like and this other new artist that was really impressive. Mam got a bit narked off that i was texting tom all day but meh, nothing compared to what she'll be like when we get married, lol. Third day was zoo and shopping dead class.
I got sunburn on my sholders on account of my new top which i looovvvvee one day and the dye from my jeans ran the next day and turned my legs blue 0.0 epp. Oh god, if you turn me on my side im the french flag. heh.
glad to be home though, dont have to go to college today too tired.
Tom asked to be added to my friends list on here so he cold read it, so yeah hes on there now. Actualy proberbly not a good idea now i think about it, he got quite (as in extremely) pissed off indeed when he read all the stuff about jason and damian (as in he wouldnt mind them dead). But its ok. Hes the same with brude and stace, its nice to have some one looking out for you.
Mike is coming over in like 2 mins, gona go meet him off the bus now ^_^

London tomorow.
just got back from stacies. Twas dead good, we ate pizza and ice cream and watched underworld all snuggled up in bed under the duvet. Me and stace and tom. I loves it. We had a good bitch about boys and stuff aswell. Dead good. I luffs em loads. Appart from when tom raped me and stace fondled my boobs when im on the phone to my dad. Lol.
Oh yeah and i got my tragus done! wee.

Oh how tactful damian is...
Well i sent damian an email either last night or the night before cant remember o.0 basicly explaining what i thought about us getting back together I said i was upset, because i was. I said that i wish it could work, because i do, i wanted nothing more than that. I said also that i wanted to have him as a friend, because id love that.
He sent me the most cock faced reply possible.
Shit happens, lifes a bitch and all that crap, you have hurt me now and you are looking for fucking sympathy from me for you have hurt yourself at the same tiome sorry for being harsh but i just told you what kind of mood im in, self inflicted no sympathy from me!!!!
Sympathy my fucking arse! He always bangs on about being open an honest with feelings and all that shit and then when i tell him it like it is, how i feel about something i get accused of 'looking for sympathy', proberbly because he didnt like what he read. When have i ever e v e r looked for sympathy? And this coming from him, he made me feel so fucking guilty about leaving him that i was in tears! Hes is the only person i have ever met that has actualy managed to make me cry, just by saying things, well appart from my mother (nice quality to have).
A lil bit off topic here but ive just remembered something my mam said the other day. We were having a 'heated discussion' about how the only reson im ugly is because im a 'mosher' and the topic came onto her kicking me out (seriously this time) if i got my vertical labret done (but i ssooooo want it done!). She said 'not a chance ive let you get away with murder, im not having it anymore'. I said 'like what? one tongue peircing?' and she said 'like having a no-good boyfriend of yours living with us for fuck knows how long(etc)'. I dont believe she said that. That fucking hurt. I stormed off for the first time ever. That contribted alot to the crying self to sleep incident.
Yeah anyway back on topic, ive decided that if hes going to be a cunt im not interested in even a friendship. I dont need people who are going to be dick heads. I dont need sympathy. I dont need looking after and i dont need to get upset over cunts behaving like that anymore, im sick to death of it. I dont need damian, (big fat lie but wtf) not if hes going to upset me everytime i have contact with him. Shame, because i really want to be friends.

On a lighter note tom and me are going down to metal guru tomorow to get wedding rings heh. Hes getting his lip done (to cheer me up apparently) and im getting my tragus or daith done. Weee.
Oh yeah and tom has swollowed my earrings o.0 stace is gona lend me some as i dont have ay more at 1.6 >.<