tongueness. Eep.
K so Ive decided to get my tongue pierced tomorow. Im kinda nervous, bet it hurts more than my nipple did (which incidently brude nearly ripped out today >.<). Im gonna have to scrounge like a mother fucker though, 15 for the piercing and 4 quid there and back on the bus and thats all my money spent. Plus im trying to go out this friday. Well have to go out this friday as cakie and the wife and holly are out.
New psychology teacher today, shes really nice. Am uber considering clinical psychology as a career, sounds good.
May involve getting a Phd though, I dont think im blodey clever enough for that. Itd be cool to be Dr Sally though heh ^_^

DOOM
Damian asked for an answer. I said no. Feelings aside, we truly had a shit relationship. Getting back into that'd fuck heads up majorly. I hate that it has to be like that but it just does. why get back into a dead shell of a relationship? He said the perfect thing to make me feel like utter shit aswell, he said that he needed me more than ever now but ive said no so cya around. That one thing made me feel worse than when we broke up. He never needed me before, he never even wanted to be with me before, not really, what the hell changed in the space of a week? I hope he ends up ok, I worry.
Along the lines of Exs gues who I got a fucking phone call from on saturday. Blodey Jason rang me. How the hell did he get my moble number? The only one of that group that I know has my number is darran, must have been him. Ill fucking slaguhter him. oh by the way i heard you were single again. Another thing darren told him. grrr. Cant decide weather or not to go on a massacre of rage or be fucking terrified. At the moment im more terrified. Im still cant get angry at jas, not even on the phone. Such a cock head. Hes promiced to stay away and leave me alone though, and he has since october so i spose im ok. Argh. It was awful talking on the phone to him, i didnt reconise his number so i answered, then i realised when he said 'alright'. I started shaking n stuff. How the hell did i go out with him for so long if he has this effect on me now? Anyway screw him hes a crack head and his girls and worse, hes going to hell what do i care.
Parents where at each other again this weekend. Its killing me, every ones walking around on eggshells, even ellen. Dads being all angsty all the time and my mams just a slut. She bitches about him costantly to me, i really want to hear that. She even talks about fucking whats-his-face to me, really want to hear that too. Her digs at dad get nastyer and nastyer, hes starting to dig back too. Oh well, shall start going out more, less time in the house.
Another ARGH trs out martin likes me/wants to go out with me. NOOO i dont like him in that way at all, im totaly not giving any signals off at all but argh. But maybe i am im dumb at that stuff, well im trying not to. I feel like such a bitch though, he keeps coming over and briging me cigs for free and giving me lifts places and even though i say no its alright, dont bother, he insists and i take them even though i dont like him >.<
Grr want to talk to mike. Actualy no I want him to come over I aint seen him since friday heh.
Fucking hell, why do i sound like such an angst monster teenager? I never have angst!

So it wasnt a crock o shite after all
Eventfull night
Met up with Damian he was drunk but not annoying. He kept head butting me o.0 wha?
He got some bad news in the arena about his uncle. He was really upset. Poor Damain. He was even crying, which was wierd. He went home, I wish id gone with him really to try and cheer him up a bit. It was horrible seeing him all upset =(
Anyway the night after that was okish, martin (thats why he was acting strangely, he wants my ass) and this other bloke kept hitting on me. I got a comment fromphil too 'wow sally your boobs are looking rather great today' *cringe*. Anyway I ended up snoggling Martin. He bought me drinks and fags and gave me a lift home which was nice of him. We ended up kissing in his car on my drive for 2 hours 0.0 Eep. I dont like him that much really. meh.

tonight is going to be a crock of shit.
Damian is drunk which means he'll be drunk tonight when I meet him. Great, I fucking hate drunk Damian. If he acts like a cock tonight thats it. He was ordering me about on the phone asking many a question, being typical Damian. Fucking pisses me off. Im really not looking forward to meeting up tonight.
fucking grr
in other news oddly ive been talking to stve about current situatons, it actualy helped alot. He may be annoying but he knows how to calm a storm. Well done steve.

Why is this half tearm so boring?
I had the weirdest dream last night. I cant remember what it was about though, it was one of those dreams where you can still hear real life noise in the back ground. I can remember mike being there and I remember something about a flood and a boat and he was the only one with a boat or something. *shrug* Anyway that was about the only sleep i fecking got, im not sleeping good. grr. on the otherhand my room smells all of massage oil and stuff now though and today was the first day in ages my neck hasnt tried to kill me ^_^ I think mikes give me germs, dont feel very well today.
I dont like it when Damian asks about mike, it feels so strange talking to him about stuff like that. Anyway he knows that me and mike have shagged now so meh ... wierdness. Found myself not wanting to hang up the phone when I was talking to him just then.
Cant decide weather to go out tomorow or not, tis only lucy and martin out and twill be my last 20 quid gone but I get free drinks and lifts off martin (certain vibe coming off him lately humm) and will probs see Damian. Might just take mike up on the offer and go over to his. meh. GRR.
Mam went on an adventure today she went shopping. Didnt buy anything though. Wierd huh?
Me and ellen made crispie cakes ^_^ ellie looks cute with brown hair, like some sort of rabbit ... with brown hair.

post visitor.
Mike just came over ^_^ i got picked up and taken to stockton for earring shopping, he bought a silvery 6 mill bcr that neither of us can close >.<
Got back hereand sat about doing nothing for a while.
Then we did stuff, not stuff stuff this time. But pretty darn good stuff, very darn good stuff actualy. I kinda bit down on my arm to stop from shouting. hehe, so very rude. Weak in the knees kinda stuff.
When he was about to go he asked 'do you think about me when im not here?' he asked lots stuff like that, about what i think about him and stuff.
....o.0 wha?

Genral musings.
Its taken time away from the realtionship for me to realise how shite it was. I honsetly cant remember a truly good day, proberbly selective memory according to mood but none the less. Can i put myself through that again?
But love counts for everything.

Half tearm yey.
Meh, I'm usure about Mike. I'm questioing his motives. I know he's after sex, and if i go by how he acts around me sometimes id say thats all he was after. But if i take into account the million hour long convos on msn (none of them regarding sex), the phone calls and us just sitting and talking on tuesday when he could have been all over me. Im almost sure he doesnt want an exclusive relationship, which is fine because im not sure I do either, not just yet (and the fact hes moving to durham within the year, the big gay). I really like him not sure if i could see myself in a relationship with him though. Hes so sweet, but he can be a 'sallys typical bloke' too which is wank and means that if anything does happen that ill get screwed over. Hummm. Ah well.
Martin has been intriguing me lately, hes cool, I like him. Hes coming out next friday. He asked me if i was too n i said yeah so hes offred me a lift home in his car. I borrowed his jacket today too, apparently I suited it ^_^ heh, I shall see.
Out on friday, tis the wifes birthday. Mike aint going. John is eep >.< he thinks that im gona give him snogs, but i dont really want to.
IM HAVING A SHOE CRISIS

My new nipple piercing
i got it done!, didnt hurt as much as i expected. Hurts when i get cold though, appart from that its fine. Jossy was great he talked me through it and got me all relaxed stuff then pierced it all lovely. ^_^ Lucy came in with me to hold my hand too and got a bit of an eye full.
Lucy and chris are soo adorable. they make me go aahhww all the time.
I went for a facial today too and i got complimented on my aura, apparently its very vibrant. The facial was amazing, relaxing as hell, it made me feel like i was sinking into a vortex in the bed.
anyway now were off to see scarey movie 3 and its snowing so my nipple is gonna hurt >.<

*neck explodes*
I just rang damian up to see if he could pass my necklace on to lucy for saturday and he said he was going out, didnt want to bump into him yet as he fucking knows. and he got all bitchy and hung up. Hes a fucking twat, just last weekend he was promicing me that he could change all the being a cock and stuff. Yeah I really fucking believe it now. if he actualy thinks he can change or whatever the fuck he was spouting off to me about then hes fucking kidding himself. Fuck him. Fuck him to hell.
In other news, nipple pierceage tomorow ^_^ wootsticks! And my necks really fucked up, too much talking to certain people online, hehe, ill make him sort it again on tuesday.
Gonna ring lucy now (oh yeah and emma and chris are proberbly gonna get back together, wonder how long it will last?)

Nipples.
Today was great! Me and Luce went down to guru to get pierced (my left nipple and her tounge web) but twas closed. So we went down to festivals (icky yeah but its good for piercings just not tattos), but luce had no id so instead of me getting done and not her we decided to come back on saturday and get done then ^_^ cant wait.
Lucy got all cheered up aswell she kept saying thank you for making her feel good. i made her try on a dress that she always wanted but never even thought about because of gemma and shes put a deposit down for it for saturday woot she looked gourgeous. Then we went shoe shopping and bought her some shoes (very prudy). I decided i couldnt leave withot a piercing so i paid for me and her to get our ears done ^_^ she said it was the most painfull one she ever had done, more painful than her nipple. Which is good.
and as a good end to a good day a builder who was sawing stuff on this big board thing dropped all his stuff cause he was too busy perving on my tits lol, apparently (according to lucey anyway). Uber funny heh.
Yesterday was cool too mike came round, met him on the bus and stole him home. Heh, very fun time, we like lots of the same stuff (retarded animal babies and gir were to topic of the night). Hes very good at making me feel good about myself, which is blodey marvelous. We watched monsters inc too, all cuddled up on the bed heh. (his tounge piercing is my new favorite thing ... ever). He couldnt come today, spent all his money yesterday heh, gonna organise when were gonna see eachother again today.
Its weird cause my bed doesnt smell like damian anymore (partly cause i changed it) smells like mike now, its really... differant.

Tidy room yey!
Today was good, got took to the pub for lunch by lucey ^_^ shes getting peirced on wednesday too, cant decide weather to get my nipple or tragus done first.
On the man shape front, bleh. I went into college thinking about damian and i was a bit sad n stuff. Then mike started texting me and he cheered me up n stuff, hes coming over tomorow ^_^. I promised damian that i would stay single for the month that im allowing myself. I wish I didnt incase it gives him the wrong idea, I really dont know what to do about him, how can everything change in a week? but then again it is damian heh ^_^

stuff.
Im on the phone to Damian. he feels bad, now I feel bad. ive not let myself think about him for the whole week. Now i am and it doesnt feel good. I dont know about the whole thing with us to yet. I cant tell if im upset and have all this stuff going through my mind. Ive decided to leave it about a month, i should have a clearer veiw then.
Talkin to mike, hes cool, but im not sure about it anymore not with the whole stuff with damian.