Dear Jim
Dear Jim [Gaffigan]:
I had a weird dream last night where I went on a killing spree, murdering all of my ex-college roommates (I had a lot of them apparently), and for some reason Elvis Costello was fingered for the crime. I sat in the courtroom and watched him get a life sentence, and then he turned to me and smiled and starting singing, "Alison, I know this world is killing you." And the really bizarre part is, my name isn't Alison. What could this dream mean?
- Norah, Lancaster PA
Dear Norah:
Wait--the "bizarre part" was that your name isn't Alison? Really, THAT was the bizarre part? Not the murder spree or your letting a great musician take the heat? Just your name? Lady, you're a nut bag. Stop watching Law & Order before bed.
- Jim
Excerpt from "You're a Horrible Person, But I Like You: The Believer Book of Advice": Amazon Page
Nick and I are moving to the Seattle area (Redmond or Bellevue, probably) next year.
This is as long as he finishes what he's doing at CC and gets accepted to the school he wants to go to out there. Both of which are very likely and probably most definitely will happen.
So, I'm already pretty nervous/excited about this. Moving out west means higher rent, higher gas prices, higher everything but it's what we've wanted to do for a long time and now we have the chance to do it. Plus it means maybe a scooter for me which ohmanissoexcitingkidsiamsoexcited.
Things I am currently nervous about:
The actual moving process
Moving our 2 cats
Finding a job
Finding a place to live
Any tips on cross-country or long distance moving between now and July 2011 would be appreciated. I have moved states before but only when I was too young to help out or know the logistics of the whole process. And it was never more than 6 hours away. Also, any Seattle advice would be welcomed with open arms.
I love you all.
P.S. This move means we definitely will get married this year. Exclamation point.
I got Netflix for my Xbox on Sunday. Really nifty. The only thing I really miss is the skip feature. I'm used to being able to skip 30 seconds at a time to get through the boring parts.
So far Netflix has been suggesting good movies. Although, this morning, I watched two flops. Nine was awful. Keith was only slightly better. Or maybe it was worse. Either way they both sucked.
this is the story of your red right ankle
and how it came to meet your leg
and how the muscle, bone and sinews tangled
and how the skin was softly shed
and how it whispered, 'oh adhere to me, for we are bound by symmetry
whatever differences our lives have been, we together make a limb'
I got an invite to my high school reunion. The thought of going makes me want to cry.
I just saw these people. I haven't changed. My hair is a little shorter, I guess. I got new glasses. I've been dating the same guy I dated in high school for almost 6 years now and I've been living with him for the past 3 years. I'm a supervisor in a call center. None of these things make me want to see these people.
Oh and look at what the invite says: "Remember parents, even though children aren't invited, bring pictures!!" SOME OF THESE PEOPLE HAVE KIDS. KIDS THAT I HAVE TO FEIGN INTEREST IN. I'M NOT EVEN ENGAGED. PUKE PUKE PUKE.
Also, if I wanted to reconnect or see any of these people, I'd already have done so.
That being said, I still haven't decided if I'm going.
Fringe - A Show on the Rise
So, I have a question for you fellow TV viewers out there: When did Fringe all of a sudden get so good??
I've been watching this show since the beginning, and despite the fact I immediately saw it for what it was (a 'X-Files' ripoff), it didn't stop me from making it a part of my regular viewing rotation for the past couple of years. While I've always enjoyed (most of) the characters and its escapist/sci-fi tones, I always felt it was vastly inconsistent. Well, that's not entirely true... it was consistent in its inconsistency. The mythology episodes were usually good-to-great, while the stand-alone episodes were usually boring-to-silly. But something's happened since it came back from hiatus. To start, even the one-offs have been captivating, with the time-traveling episode guest starring Peter Weller (aka RoboCop) the most noteworthy example. But, more importantly, I think the showrunners are finally letting the characters and the storyline find their own voice. Yes, they are still ripping off 'The X-Files' (even going so far as cribbing the "I Want to Believe" tagline in last week's episode), but for once, I'm able to see past the similarities because I find myself totally engaged in the stories on their own merits and not as a derivative of another show. To wit, last week's twist evoked an audible reaction from me usually reserved only for my most "hardcore" shows. (As a side note to complete the 'X-Files' comparison, they have even managed to do something the veritable FOX show couldn't, making local law enforcement characters richly detailed with their own angles and motivations. Hell, it's even picking up at the same time 'The X-Files' did: late second season.)
More than anything, the one facet of this show that has kept me coming back through its ups and downs (and is all the more richer now that the rest of the show has caught up) is Walter Bishop. Make no mistake, John Noble's character is the best, most complete, and engaging currently on television (and yes, I'm including 'LOST' in that discussion). There's no other character I can think of--on any medium--that can have me laughing out loud one moment, pulling on my heartstrings the next, than back to guffaws, all within the space of a single scene, as the supermarket scene in last week's "Northwest Passage" did (see link below). Noble's performance is absolutely gripping, and the range and nuance he brings to the already juicy lines reminds me of how criminal it is that this man has not even yet been nominated, let alone won, for this role yet. (Seriously Hollywood, get on this!)
If you haven't seen the show or previously gave up on it, now's the time to give it a(nother) chance. As sad as I am to know that my favorite Leonard Nimoy won't be making any appearances past this season, I can't wait to see where they take it from here.
::
2010 11 April :: 2.52am
:: Music: SHARKS IN VENICE on SyFy
wuzzupdate
Real quick because I don't really feel like writing but I do feel like you guys deserve an update.
I got a promotion at work after being here for 10.5 months. woo. I will now be making 65 cents more (plus shift bonuses). I've actually been acting in this position for a month so it's nothing new. I did it last November but I just realized I only mentioned this on my other blog so I better link to that so I don't have to explain anything because I'm feeling lazy.
Nick and I got awesome tax returns and put most of it away in our savings account for an engagement ring. So that should happen soon. I don't know, Nick's being vague about it. He's all "I have a plan" and "stop bugging me" and "I want to make it special". It's annoying.
I DVR'd both Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus and Mega Piranha. I've been wanting to watch the former for about a year now and the latter was just too good to pass up. I mean, seriously? Here's the synopsis on my DVR: "Giant mutant piranha escape from the Amazon and head for Florida." You know what? Just watch the trailers: Read more..
And now I'm watching Sharks in Venice which has terrible Italian accents, Stephen Baldwin and the synopsis "A great white shark menaces the waterways of Venice." Oh and it wasn't even filmed in Venice. That was too hard. This soundstage is terrible and the music is even worse.
So I think that's it. I'll try to write more often but nowadays I sleep and work and I'm lucky if I have the energy to do anything else.
Still love you all, by the way.
P.S. I forgot to mention that today Stupid Cat not only pooped on the only rug in the bathroom but also peed on it right before I went to take a shower. He (it could have been the Other Cat, but I doubt it because he's not dumb) then proceeded to PEE AGAIN in the same spot (and waited until we got home to do it!!) because he is a jerk.
P.P.S. Before you try to diagnose Stupid Cat with some Stupid Urinary Infection or Stupid Bowel Disease, he did the first Stupid Move because their litter needed to be changed and the Second Stupid Dumbass Jerk Move because I apparently didn't get rid of the smell well enough and he's a big meenie.
P.P.P.S. Update from my Adventures in Wikipedia:
"Empire State of Mind got at most 20 million views on youtube (combining all the videos of the song together) They thought that this song was going to be a bigger success; however, only the east coast and the west coast knew about this song. This song was a failure due to the amount of views it got, they were desperate on youtube so they gave it acouple million more views than it originally had. Only 10 radio stations put this song on air in the whole entire world, only 10 radio stations had it on. Due to this, Jay Z quit singing and Alicia Keys retired aswell. Many were shocked and disappointed"
::
2010 5 March :: 1.52pm
:: Music: The White Stripes - Little Cream Soda
Well every highway that I go down
Seems to be longer than the last one that I knew about
Oh well
And every girl that I walk around
Seems to be more of an illusion than the last one I found
Oh well
And this old man in front of me wearing canes and ruby rings
And it's like a dang explosion when he sings
And with every chance to set himself on fire,
He just ends up doin' the same thing
Well, each beautiful thing I come across
Tells me to stop moving and shake this riddle off
Oh well
And there was a time when all I wanted
Was my ice cream colder and a little cream soda
Oh well, oh well
And a wooden box and an alley full of rocks
Was all I had to care about
Oh well, oh well, oh well
Now my mind is filled with rubber tires and forest fires
And whether I'm a liar
And lots of other situations
Where I don't know what to do
At which time God screams to me
There's nothing left for me to tell you
Nothing left for me to tell you
Nothing left
Oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well
Oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well
Wee Irish boy crying by the side of the road.
A man asks "What's wrong?"
Boy says "Me Ma is dead"
"Oh bejaysus" the man says "Do you want me to get Father O'Riley ?"
Wee boy replies"No thanks Mister, sex is the last ting on me moi nd roight now."
