Theres a dream that I see, I pray it can be
Look cross the land, shake this land
A wish or a command
I dream that I see, dont kill it, its free
Youre just a man, you get what you can
We all do what we can
So we can do just one more thing
We can all be free
Maybe not in words
Maybe not with a look
But with your mind
Listen to me, dont walk that street
Theres always an end to it
Come and be free, you know who I am
Were just living people
We wont have a thing
So weve got nothing to lose
We can all be free
Maybe not with words
Maybe not with a look
But with your mind
Youve got to choose a wish or command
At the turn of the tide, is withering thee
Remember one thing, the dream you can see
Pray to be, shake this land
We all do what we can
So we can do just one more thing
We wont have a thing
So weve got nothing to lose
We can all be free
Maybe not with words
Maybe not with a look
But with your mind
Hydrogen bomb. Time travel. Satan. Smoke Monster. Death by impaling. Body switching. Gunshot. Gunshot. Magic sand. Alternate universe. More Satan. Magic water. Resurrection. Satan.
::
2010 3 February :: 5.25pm
:: Music: Hockey- Song Away
I'd like to let you know I'll always be straight with you/ I stole my personality from an anonymous source/ And I'm getting paid for it too, I don't feel bad about that.
Make me a deal and make it good for me,
I won't get full of myself, cause I can't afford to be.
This is small town music, this is big town music,
He's ahead of his time, you know... but, he can't use it...
If only he could prove it.
Tomorrow's just a song away, a song away, a song away.
Tomorrow's just a song away, a song away, a song away.
It's just a song away.
See what your man has done to the world,
See what the world has done to your man.
You know I'm leaving you, you don't need me,
Lovin' you wasn't always so easy.
This is believe me music, this is forget me music,
This is who can love me, you know, this ain't no roxy music.
This is new form music, this is old form music,
This is I paid attention not some makes his prediction music.
Oh, he could let me use it.
Tomorrow's just a song away, a song away, a song away.
Tomorrow's just a song away, a song away, a song away.
It's just a song away.
Not wanting to write a truthful song over an eighties groove,
I'd like to let you know I'll always be straight with you.
I stole my personality from an anonymous source,
And I'm getting paid for it too, I don't feel bad about that.
Give me my chance back.
This is on the rise music, this is novelty music,
This is who can blame music, I don't get fooled by it
This is "where'd you go" music, this is "come home" music,
This is down to the wire I'm such a perfect angel music.
Who really tries?
Tomorrow's just a song away, a song away, a song away.
Tomorrow's just a song away, a song away, a song away.
It's just a song away.
Ah well,
This is success music, and what's it to ya?
My lawyer always says these are the facts about the future, well....
Tomorrow's just a song away, a song away, a song away.
Tomorrow's just a song away, a song away, a song away.
Tomorrow's just a song away, a song away, a song away.
It's just a song away.
::
2010 19 January :: 8.40pm
:: Music: MGMT- Time to Pretend
Yeah it's overwhelming, but what else can we do?/ Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?
I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars
This is our decision to live fast and die young
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah it's overwhelming, but what else can we do?
Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?
Forget about our mothers and our friends
We were fated to pretend
I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone
But there is really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run its course
We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
Bands/artists I would like to see in concert soon-ish:
Eric Hutchinson (again)
Modest Mouse (again)
MGMT
Ben Kweller (again)
Passion Pit
Vampire Weekend
Beck
Death Cab for Cutie (again)
Regina Spektor
Matt and Kim
Phoenix
Franz Ferdinand
Ben Folds (again)
Mates of State
Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers (again)
I want a site where I can enter the names of bands that I like, and it will provide me with something like Google Reader where I can check ONE PLACE to see all of their upcoming shows, albums, etc.
I mean, I could just like, put parts of their websites in Google Reader but it seems so ineffective to sort through all the stuff I don't care about just to get a quick list of places/dates.
::
2010 10 January :: 6.44pm
:: Music: Barenaked Ladies- What a Good Boy
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change...
When I was born they looked at me and said
What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy
And when you were born they looked at you and said
What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl
We've got these chains that hang around our necks
People want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same
When temptation calls we just look away
This name is the hairshirt I wear
And this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair
This song is the cross that I bear
Bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me
Be with me tonight
I know that it isn't right
But be with me tonight
I go to school, I write exams
If I pass, if I fail, if I drop out, does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget
'Cause it won't take much for me to show that my life ain't over yet
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
And everything around me stays the same
I couldn't tell you that I was wrong
Chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song
I couldn't tell you that you were right
So instead I looked in the mirror watched tv laid awake all night
We've got these chains that hang around our necks
People want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same
When temptation calls....
When I was born they looked at me and said
What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy
And when you were born they looked at you and said
What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey
::
2010 2 January :: 3.34pm
:: Music: bad romance...it is the song of this weekend.
an update, finally.
So I live in lansing with 3 girls I don't know. I live really close to 3 of my fiends though. Still working at kohls, but am looking to get out, so I am applying to MSU for the fall. I am looking at going into thier speech pathology program. on the boy front, still in love with my BFF's brother. he is one of the people whose house is close enough for me to walk to, so incidentally I am there all the time cooking dinner for him (and his roomies who are also my friends) at least a couple times a week.
I saw you new years eve and I realized how horrible i have been about keeping in touch. I really live in this small little world most of the time and I forget the person I could be if I let myself. I am so wrapped up in this one person who DOES NOT seem to feel the same way that I just let myself fall apart a little. we walked to a party when we got cold and I saw the guy I hung out with at my friends wedding last summer, and we hit it off again. I got a kiss at midnight and I hung out with him again the next day. he is a nice distraction from the ongoing drama of brad.
Top 50 Films of the 2000s
1. Munich (2005)
2. Lost In Translation (2003)
3. Children of Men (2006)
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
5. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
6. Memento (2000)
7. Minority Report (2002)
8. There Will Be Blood (2007)
9. The Dark Knight (2008)
10. Kill Bill, Volume 1 (2003)
11. Monsters, Inc. (2001)
12. Moulin Rouge (2001)
13. American Psycho (2000)
14. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
15. Adaptation (2002)
16. The Hours (2002)
17. Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
18. Amelie (2001)
19. The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004)
20. The Departed (2006)
21. The Incredibles (2004)
22. The Prestige (2006)
23. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
24. Gladiator (2000)
25. Vanilla Sky (2001)
26. The Lives of Others (2006)
27. I Heart Huckabees (2004)
28. 25th Hour (2002)
29. Volver (2006)
30. Bowling For Columbine (2002)
31. Collateral (2004)
32. Ratatouille (2007)
33. Juno (2007)
34. The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)
35. Mystic River (2003)
36. Donnie Darko (2001)
37. 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days (2007)
38. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (2003)
39. Closer (2004)
40. Walk The Line (2005)
41. The Bourne Identity (2002)
42. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
43. The King of Kong (2007)
44. Star Trek (2009)
45. The Wrestler (2008)
46. Once (2006)
47. Good Night, and Good Luck (2005)
48. Away We Go (2009)
49. A History of Violence (2005)
50. Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
# of films, by year
8 (2002, 2004); 7 (2006); 6 (2001); 5 (2005, 2007); 4 (2003); 3 (2000); 2 (2008, 2009)
Best of 2009 Top CDs
1. Regina Spektor - Far
2. Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
3. The Decemberists - Hazards of Love
4. Silversun Pickups - Swoon
5. Pearl Jam - Backspacer
6. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz!
7. Eels - Hombre Lobo: 12 Songs of Desire
8. A Fine Frenzy - Bomb in a Birdcage
9. David Gray - Draw the Line
10. Moby - Wait for Me
Top Movies work in progress
1. Away We Go
2. Star Trek
3. Sherlock Holmes
4. Avatar
5. Where the Wild Things Are
6. The Informant!
7. The Men Who Stare at Goats
8. Watchmen
9. Public Enemies
10. Angels & Demons
Top Video Games played, not necessarily released, in 2009
1. Bioshock
2. Batman: Arkham Asylum (2009)
3. Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
4. NCAA Football '10 (2009)
5. Half-Life 2
6. Rock Band 2
7. House of the Dead: Overkill (2009)
8. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (2009)
9. Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe
10. Silent Hill: Homecoming
Top Books read, not necessarily released, in 2009
1. Nick Hornby - Juliet, Naked (2009)
2. Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons - The Watchmen
3. Markus Zusak - The Book Thief
4. Mark Blake - Comfortably Numb: The Inside Story of Pink Floyd
5. Flannery O'Connor - Everything that Rises Must Converge
6. Dave Eggers - Zeitoun (2009)
7. Brian Vaughan & Pia Guerra - Y: The Last Man
8. Patrick McGilligan - Alfred Hitchcock: A Life in Darkness & Light
9. Michael Kane - Game Boys
10. Mark Oliver Everett - Things the Grandchildren Should Know
We learned today that we are getting Christmas bonuses! Yay! And then if I get my doing-my-job bonus, I will have money to pay bills and rent and school loans!
I should not eat when Nick is not around to edit my eating habits. He is asleep since he has to work at 7 am tomorrow.
Things I have eaten since Nick went to bed at 1:
Spaghetti with sauce and Parmesan cheese and green olives
Reheated TGIFriday's French fries (reheated in a pan with olive oil and crazy seasonings)
Green olives
Warmed up tortilla with above seasoning/spices and leftover oil along with garlic, sour cream and feta (the sour cream was a TERRIBLE idea... ugh)
More green olives
Snicker's bar
We don't have any food in the house. That is the main reason I ate a bunch of junk. Also I just went with my cravings. Usually Nick stops me before I add the sour cream. I am feeling really awful and would like to just throw everything up, please.
"If the FCC is going to investigate anything it should be that Lambert may be compromising the reputation of gay men everywhere. Gay men have proudly worked hard for centuries to cultivate the appearance of having good taste. Tom Ford, fashion designer and the living embodiment of homo-sexy refinement, is even bringing his mission to movie theaters this month with "A Single Man. And then comes Lambert with his Mystic Tan, makeup, and eyeliner to steamroll it all back dozens of years.
"Even more offensive than the bump, grind, and kiss is that Lambert is now taking it upon himself to explain why folks had a difficult time digesting his American Music Awards performance. 'People arent used to seeing gay men portrayed that way on TV,' he told Ellen DeGeneres last week. 'The gay male image in the media tends to be very clich. So, let me get this straight. Lambert, who dresses like the immaculately conceived love child of Siegfried and Roy, is not a clich? Cut to me giving the TV the side eye and scratching my head. Hes a bundle of clichs, and represents a very outdated image of the flamboyant gay performer. Freddie Mercury and his stretch unitards were more groundbreaking, and definitely sexier."
- Boston Globe style columnist Christopher Muther.
now, the world can be an unfair place at times
but your lows will have their complement of highs
and if anyone should cheat you, take advantage of, or beat you
raise your head and wear your wounds with pride
you must stick up for yourself, son
never mind what anybody else done
::
2009 30 November :: 4.06am
:: Music: George of the Jungle
Recent thoughts with added emphasis
I like the idea of Montreal (much like one enjoys the idea having a baby but not the pushing it out of your own vagina part or the human being inside me thing or much like one may love the idea of organizing a bookshelf by color but not actually having said bookshelf (I cannot find any book I am searching for. Surprise, surprise, I do not remember my books by color.)) but that whole French thing always turns me off. Gravy and cheese curds on French fries? I am there. Calling it poutine? Sorry, I'll pass. Maybe next time. With bacon. And a not French name. Losers.
I think I might have mentioned it before but this I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant show is insane. How the fuck do you not know you are pregnant? "Oh I had missed my period two months in a row but I just thought it was stress." "I had a craving for tacos but I just like tacos, you know?" "I thought I had to poop and then a baby was in the toilet." What the fuck, kids? And they never have any prenatal care but the baby is always fine. While people who take care of themselves have sick babies. Also, what sexually-active woman is not hyper-aware of every single thing that is going on with her body period-wise?
I am having more and more dreams that involve someone sending me back to France for some reason. And I'm not allowed to leave for some other strange reason. Like I lose my passport or I lose a piece of luggage and cannot leave until it is found. I suppose that is what I get for speaking French all day.
Speaking of...speaking French, I think I speak more French in my average work day than I ever did during my 8 years of studying it in school. Probably even more than I did in an average day in France. I really hate myself for not speaking more French while I was there but whatever. I went to Budapest, bitches. French didn't matter. Now I talk about having votre numero de reservation and combien des chambres voudriez-vous and sorry, you need a carte de credit and who doesn't have an adresse email these days? My dreams are just filled with more French.
My sister is studying in Innsbruck, Austria next year. For the whole year. My mom didn't want her to go for the entire year because she didn't want to pay for Notre Dame with my sister not even being in the country but somehow they got over that. Also, next year is the motherfucking bicentennial of Oktoberfest so my friend and I were already planning on going to Munich. She lived in Germany for a long time and knows people we can stay with for free. We would only have to pay for airfare and food/drink money. My sister and I are planning a European tour since we can handle most countries with my French and her German.
I need to learn to play an instrument. I am thinking something terribly hipster like a ukulele or organ. I've always wanted a hurdy gurdy.
I have no clue what to get anyone for Christmas. Personne, kids. Not even Nick. It is terrible. I know what Nick wants but I can't buy him a 400 dollar laptop/netbook or whatever. And I can think of things I would like for him but nothing he would actually like. You know how guys are. I can think of about twenty things I think he would like but he would just say "oh, thanks." And not really enjoy them because it's nothing he wants. You know? And of course if you ask him what he wants, he never knows.
Nick does many things to annoy the heck out of me because he thinks it is cute when I'm mad. One of these is not putting the new toilet paper roll on the holder. He knows it drives me insane, so he doesn't do it. Every single time he does(n't do) it, I fake yell at him for it. It's what we do. It's our joke. Anyway, the other day, I was joking with him about it and he said he'll always do it. It's his thing, and it won't ever stop. And I said, "Just like it's never lupus." So today when I went to shout at him about it, he said, "It's never lupus."
I am torn about Monk ending this week. It jumped the shark years ago but it has always been one of my favorite shows. I almost have Nick hooked on it but I think it will be like West Wing, I will talk about it for years and he won't watch it until it's OFN and then he'll fall in love with it and talk about it like it's something new.
I read about the newest game from Team Ico and it looks like it's going to be only for the PS3. This may be the game that forces my hand into buying a stupid PS3. Damn you, Team Ico. DAMN YOU.
Nick's parents got us an electric fireplace for Christmas (and already gave it to us, obviously) and it is awesome. The smart cat has only slept on it once so far but their favorite thing seems to being going behind it for some reason. Silly cats. We totally tripped a breaker with it already too. Which was bound to happen since it's on the same plug with the xbox and the router and the modem and the TV and the cable box and the surround sound and the Wii.
I've typed for about an hour now so I think that more than makes up for my silence. I'm out, kids.
I love you all &c.
P.S. I was watching Zero Punctuation's review of Modern Warfare 2 and the little line he always puts in the credits said, "I wonder what kind of gun fires with a noise that most closely approximates the word 'BANG.'" I read this to Nick and he replied, wittily, "An onomato-P9." This is why I want to marry this kid.
P.P.S. Earlier today, we were eating pizza and watching Away We Go and we couldn't find the TV remote. We looked everywhere but it was nowhere to be found. Finally, after the movie was over (98 minutes after it was lost) and we began a hardcore-retracing-steps mission. This mission was quickly completed when Nick found the remote in his pocket. This is why I will keep this kid around.