First week of NewJob went okay. It actually was a whole lot better by week's end. I am going to have to get over this not liking to speak French thing since that's my job now. Sigh etc.
I have a stupid NewJob story that happened on Wednesday and I wrote on Wednesday:
Today [Wednesday], we had a trainer come in and teach us Google Earth [which I TOTALLY already know and used when it first came out]. Before we started, he went around the room and asked our names and for us to say something in our language. He was French African.
Please tell me you are feeling the same thing I was: DREAD. PANIC. DREAD.
So we go around the room and everyone is saying five bajillion sentences and the other two French people have great accents and each have two paragraphs prepared already.
So he gets to me and all I can think to say is "ta mère est un pamplemousse." I can't call his mother a grapefruit! Who knows what connotation that has! I am probably calling her a whore or something.
What do I do? What do I do? OH! MAKE A JOKE! People love jokes! They will be so busy laughing that they won't notice that you say "Bone-jewurrr y'all"! Make a joke, Rachel.
Do I say my name in French or English? What did the Hope girl say? KAH-Rhen? Okay, so French.
"Je m'appelle Rachelle et je ne parle pas français."
Everyone is staring at me. Why are they staring? Did I miss an article? "Parlez-vous anglais?" No. No article needed. I said the "ne" but they can forgive that, I was nervous, I had to prepare a simple sentence. THIS IS A JOKE. I just said "I don't speak French" in French! Ha ha. Laugh already. No one is laughing. Okay.
"Ceci n'est pas une pipe...?"
Did they get it? Okay. He got it. And I got a little laugh. Ugh. Do these people have no sense of humor? Hope girl is staring at me. I'm not even looking at British guy. Heaven forbid he judge me. He's British. We left them for a reason. And Hope girl liked France. Screw them.
Reasoning doesn't stop the embarrassment. I can feel myself turning red. I am warm, it's warm in here. Ugh. I am a retard. Why did I think this job would be okay? I can no longer get away with the fact that I don't speak French.
I told them up front. I told them it was terrible! It's not my fault!
During break, I am furiously checking the internet as I have chosen sleep over Google Reader for the past week and have 97 unread items. I AM STARING AT THE SCREEN AND NOT WELCOMING CONTACT.
Hope girl turns around. TURN BACK AROUND, GIRL. DO NOT WANT YOUR HUMORLESS FACE LOOKING AT ME. AM ON THE INTERNETS.
"Bonjour, Rachelle."
Cut her off, cut her off! There's no way I'm speaking French to her and letting her judge me. I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND. I hate France! I hate French! I just told you I don't speak French.
"Oh, no. I cannot think to speak French today." Still staring at my 97 Google Reader items. Must label all interesting things.
"Oh. I was just... I was wondering why you said you didn't speak French."
I looked over at her. Oh, God. She is looking at me with pity and concern. Cut it off quick! No friends! No pity! No French!
"It was A JOKE."
"Oh." She turns back around quickly. The conversation is over.
Was I just a bitch to her? I think I was just a bitch. Whatever. She's not talking to me.
::
2009 9 May :: 3.28pm
:: Music: Death Cab for Cutie- Cath...
Soon everybody will ask what became of you...
pretty boring day today. Paul is at football camp, so I am making homemade bagels and doing laundry... just call me Martha. Except I just burnt my hand and it's starting to blister...
HIMYM
"Here's the thing, Barney: I'm snuggly. You're not. Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a Sunday morning? Wrapped in a comforter, and its raining outsode, and there's muffins warming in the oven... I'm cuddly, bitch! Deal with it!"
"Oh, Fran. Oh Franny Franny Fran. We are gonna have some fun."
"This circle... represents people who are breaking my heart. And this circle, represents people who are shaking my confidence daily. And where they overlap...Cecilia."
"This is a pie chart, describing my favorite bars. And this is a bar graph, describing my favorite pies!"
"What the hell happened to my charts?"
"We threw them away."
"WHAT?!?"
"That's how an intervention works, Marshall... You wouldn't stop using, so we flushed your stash."
"C'mon, Ted... I need my charts, man! Just for a day... and then I promise I'll never ever use charts again! I'm under a lot of pressure here, I NEED MY CHARTS, JACK!"
"God, you're doing charts at work??"
I am doing my final French translation project (Due tomorrow although it has been in my possession for...over a month. I lost it for a while and was afraid I'd have to get another copy.) and my professor gave us the weirdest things to translate.
For some reason, he gave us all old articles about the dangers of these newfangled things called...wait for it...COMPUTERS. Mine is an article from May 1991 about keeping medical records (dramatic pause) ON COMPUTERS (gasp, faint in terror etc.).
My favorite part so far?
No, it's not the part about keeping our precious family history on terribly not safe things called computers.
No, it's not the part where they talk about this whole process being a conspiracy between pharmaceutical labs and an early Apple company called NeXT (who really is only in it because the technology is available and they want to be ahead of the game).
No, my favorite part is where the author rambles on about the things that are going to be transmitted from computer to computer. Things like...photos! And...X-Rays! And...EKGs! And...notes they took when we came into the doctor's office and we talked to the doctor! His biggest fear? The fear that closes the second paragraph? He fears that while computers are in black and white now, someday they may be in color. And they will be capable of transmitting all sorts of documents like calculations performed in spreadsheets that will be able to make 3D plans!
It's great fun but this article is really way too long. Yeah final project blah blah but I'd rather be done with this already. Stupid homework.
::
2009 30 April :: 9.30pm
:: Music: Kings of Leon- Use Somebody
off in the night/ while you live it up/ i'm off to sleep...
i've been roaming around
always looking down at all i see
painted faces fill the places i can't reach
you know that i could use somebody
you know that i could use somebody
someone like you
and all you know
and how you speak
countless lovers undercover of the street
you know that i could use somebody
you know that i could use somebody
someone like you
off in the night,
while you live it up, i'm off to sleep
waging war to shake the poet and the beat
i hope it's gonna make you notice
i hope it's gonna make you notice
someone like me
someone like me
someone like me
go and let it out
someone like you
somebody
someone like you
somebody
someone like you
somebody
i've been roaming around
always looking down at all i see
Let me tell you about the not terrible at all things I am doing to show you that my life is actually awesome and not terrible at all.
Throw up throw up throw up throw up.
Last class tomorrow. Still have 4+ papers (best estimate has been 5-6) and one exam next week Thursday.
Cap and gown threw me over the edge. Puke puke. And of course people at work can't stop talking about how next Thursday is my last day.
I got that job by the way. Sorry, things got in the way so I haven't talked about it. Remember the one I talked about earlier? I had a French interview after my normal one and I guess it went well because I start the Monday after graduation: May 11. Ugh. Adult life is such a bummer. But full time, one and a half times what I'm making now plus benefits after 90 days is kind of nice, I guess.
I applied to another government job. This one requires a civil service exam. The next testing period is in June and since I have a real world job now, I have to choose a date during the weekend. Of course, the second I got home to set a date, all the testing times at GRCC were taken. Same with East Lansing. And Dearborn. So I could choose Auburn Hills, Caro or Sault Ste Marie. Guess which one was the only city with Saturday testing times available. That's right. Sault Sainte Marie.
So on June 6, I will be driving by myself to the UP for the first time. I have never been to the UP. I have never driven by myself for longer than two hours. And since the test is at 10:30 in the morning, I should leave by at least 6:30.
Is there anything awesome up there? I definitely am going to stop at the locks because I'm a dork and locks are awesome. And I hear there are waterfalls up there somewhere too. I might as well make a day of it. Let me know what I need to see and where I need to go. My camera is definitely coming with me.
Okay I just googled some waterfalls and not only are they a little disappointing but they are also basically in Wisconsin. So I definitely need some tips. Is Sault Sainte Marie a cool town? Should I just stay around there?
I'd like to say a little something here about stupid people but I decided to say this instead:
You have one life to live. You have a ton of time left to live it. (Don't you start in on me about how old you are. Look at how far you've come. You are still young, kid.) Are you really going to waste some of that time worrying about what might happen? There are so many things out there you could be doing. There are so many places to see and people to meet. Stop sitting around worrying about whoever the news is telling you is coming after you, hates you, wants to get you. Stop thinking about catching whatever they say is out there from paper plates or pop cans or popcorn or other people. Are you going to waste this moment of your life inside? Worrying? Scared? Live. Do things. Love. Hug someone, love someone, do something. Just breathe. In. Out. Live.
I have only been alive for 22 years. Do you know how much I still get to do? I get to get married, have kids, have adventures, have grandchildren, live a long life. I get to graduate from college next week with a bachelor's degree. Who knows what the next 22 years hold for me? I am excited.
I love you guys. For serious. I hope you all are doing okay and aren't too stressed out. Just keep breathing and put it in perspective. Papers aren't going to kill you. Exams aren't going to kill you. Do it and get it over with.
I hate April
Nick's coworker also passed away Sunday night. He was 35, divorced and had two daughters. He had a massive heart attack and never woke up.
The only good thing about this month is that it is almost over.
::
2009 27 April :: 7.57pm
:: Music: Matt Giraud- You Found Me ;)
Where were you, when everything was falling apart?/ All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang/ And all I needed was a call that never came...
i am sick and a little bit sad
really hope i'm not coming down with swine flu.
::
2009 24 April :: 10.14pm
:: Music: Erin McCarly- Love, Save the Empty
Little girls don't know how to be sweet girls/ Mama didn't teach me/ Little boys don't know how to treat little girls/ Daddy didn't show me...
lots of weekend plans... now through mid summer.
