runningfreak
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2007 28 August :: 1.35am
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: Just me humming strange tunes in my head
I should have seen it coming...I just didnt want to
I seem to have myself stuck between a rock and a hard place. Well maybe not really but sometimes it feels that way. I am not over heels for him anymore, not like I used to be at least but I find myself more and more thinking about him. Sometimes it feels as though something is really there and not just by my account by I get a vibe from him and within minutes or maybe even over the course of the day the sense will just fad into normality which is boring and uneventful. Sometimes I wonder if he just tries to stay distant from me because he doesnt want to see something evolve. I dont know but it was worth a thought.
Another thing that really pisses me off and has become quite the trend is not recieving a phone call back from two specific people in particular. Let me just put it out there, when someone calls somebody else it is common courtesy to return there phone call just to be polite. I am so fucking sick of putting forth an effort where it seems there is a wall. I am tired of being the only one who ever seems to care. I know I fucked up. I know that chances of making it work were slim to none but I was willing to take that slim chance that it might work. I suppose it was just a waste of time from the begining the second time around. I just wish you would of told me that before you decided to drop me off and never bother look back and try to pick up the pieces. But whatever 'lifes a dance you learn as you go.'
But do not worry there is hope for me yet. We will see where this one takes me.
3 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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m&ms487
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2007 26 August :: 6.22am
The earth is still.
In a phrase to cut these lips
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m&ms487
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2007 24 August :: 10.12pm
The job is going better. I've gotten over most of the ackward phase where you're not sure exactly where you fit in and who acts like what. They only gave me three days next week, which is fine because i have sixteen credit hours this semester. I'm looking forward to staying busy.
It's been really hot out and the apartment doesn't cool off easy at night, so even though it's seventy out right now, it's still eighty five in here...but there are fans, which help.
It's about time to go to bed; I have to work in the morning. I fall asleep to the sound of sirens and tires hitting the pavement: my own genre of urban music.
2 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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m&ms487
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2007 22 August :: 2.08pm
It was warm out today. Too warm. Fark news: Redheads may become extinct because of global breeding (rueben says it's old, but I still find it disheartening).
My kind is going extinct. oh noes!
We went and bought our books today. It was upsetting. Just about three hundred for me, four for rueben.
At least my acting class doesn't have a book.
Miners? Yeah, they're definately dead by now.
2 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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m&ms487
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2007 20 August :: 8.29am
I haven't disappeared into the chasm known only as mt. pleasant. I'm here. really. I just don't have internet because my apartment apparently has wireless and my computer is too old to do that.
First day of work went well. the apartment is great. lonely, but rueben will be here soon.
I thought i had a lot more to say. i certainly did when i was thinking in the shower this morning...
In a phrase to cut these lips
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m&ms487
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2007 15 August :: 12.22pm
:: Mood: complacent
Change is upon us.
I leave on Friday to move into my apartment in Mt. Pleasant. Classes start on the twenty seventh, Wheatland is the weekend of the seventh, the shower is before my brother's wedding which is on the thirteenth of October.
Then comes my parent's moving.
When I come back for Christmas, I'll have a new house in a new place. Actually, it'll just be the place I'm staying until I move on again.
All the lists and the planning in the world can't quench my anxiety.
I'm happy that Rueben and I will be living together. It'll be nice to be with someone I can get along with.
Oh, what am I doing? Rambling on like this? Another symptom of my anxiety, I guess. I have to go pack. I'm behind. And I have a dentist appointment in an hour and a half.
Here I go, out into the world/ Looking, searching, for something to/ Hold Onto.
Michelle
2 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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m&ms487
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2007 13 August :: 3.02pm
Odd moods. Misaligned Chakra, or something? Not sure.
I have lots of packing to do. I wish I didn't have so much stuff.
2 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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runningfreak
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2007 9 August :: 12.04am
:: Mood: content
Everything is not what it seems...
actually love the life that I live. At times it can be chaotic, an emotional roller coaster, and down right annoying but I love every minute of it.
Nutshell:
I work three jobs, train two to three horses every week, workout, and volunteer with a local veterinarian. During the day if I am not working at the feed mill or riding along with the veterinarian, I am training horses. In the evening I am either milking cows or working at H2. My only saving grace is when I have a horse show, then I do not work anywhere and simply enjoying the short lived time off with the horses. Starting in less than a month I will be begining my second year of college with a sixteen credit load, all while continuing to work three jobs. Unfortunately I will have to stop volunteering with the veterinarian simply for the lack of time and I will be unable to work the horses as frequently due to the same motive. However, I recently took on a new project. I acquried a new horse with a serious injury that will take months to heal with the possibility that he will have to be euthenized if infection occurs.
That is my life in a nutshell. Details are not important other than the horse.
But cest la vie
In a phrase to cut these lips
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m&ms487
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2007 8 August :: 7.25pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Pretty Baby - Vanessa Carlton
It's amazing how some make up, music, and clothes can put me in a good mood. I was rummaging through my closet looking for 'lost clothes' - clothes that i haven't worn in a long time, but still like. I couldn't find any, so i decided pull out my luggage that's been in there since i got back from college this spring...and i found it full of clothes that i forgot about! And it's all cute stuff, too, and, i tried on some pants that didn't fit in april, but fit now! (even though I'm bloated to the gills). I didn't really gain any weight when I went to college, but i've lost about ten pounds this summer, so all my stuff fits a lot better! AND I put on make up and covered up my zit that comes every month from hormones and trimmed and shaped my eye brows and curled my hair a little while listening to some up beat music and I FEEL HAPPY!
I know, girly stuff. Ew.
In other news, I painted my old night stand/ small bookshelf silver and wrote quotations about books on the sides and top of it in black permanent marker. It looks really awesome, and the great part is that the words cover up the horrible paint job. I realized that 1. I'm bad with spray paint and 2. I didn't get enough. Oh well, it's done now, and it's not john deere yellow anymore, thank god.
I talked to a Brother from the frat last night and got a little anxious and guilty about an upcoming project, but I feel better now that I realize that I didn't do anything bad, and now, after thinking on it a bit, I realize that it's not so terrible, or difficult, or terribly diffcult, or rather, not as much as i supposed it to be earlier.
I'm excited for the next couple weeks. Transitions! I'm leaving my Meijer, moving into my first REAL apartment, and starting up at a new Meijer with new people and new drama and new everything. I'm really happy with the classes that i'm signed up for, and really excited about band again. AHHH!
Michelle
[edit] This happy entry brought to you curtesy of off-brand midol.
1 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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m&ms487
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2007 6 August :: 1.32pm
:: Mood: cold
Back to the simplest terms: listing
Things I hate:
Wasting ten minutes of my life arguing with a moronic, toothless old woman about the price of cheese she thought was on sale, but wasn't.
People who do a rolling stop at stop signs.
People who go before me when it's my turn at a four way stop.
People who pass me when I'm going the speed limit.
People who do the last three things within two minutes.
Feeling restless and uncertain.
Hot weather.
Going to work for a four hour shift.
I think that's it, for now.
5 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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