Can you practice what you preach?

5 found the love | Where is the love?

:: 2005 27 April :: 10.07pm
:: Music: THe Dresden Dolls - Bad Habit

EMO
Send word of your death to me.} Theres been a word ive seen floating about the heads of students in the hallways every day. Its a word of hatred and disgust of utter sickness at the thought of such a thing. compasion for ones fellow man. FUCK THAT SHIT. wheres it coming from? not here not anyway around here. trust is a hard thing to gain and well some people just fucking toss it right out the god damn window like its nothing at all. fuck that right i mean hell he will forgive me and as long as i lie i can just keep things hunky fucking doriy right? well thats how things should work. and whats wrong with using your friends and not really liking them? NOTHING!!! yeah the world really is a great place now isnt it. all these things come together to make the perfect person. the perfect idol of hatred. you perfectly evil fuck. lets just leave it at that. good bye to 89% of you and to the rest...heres a ticket, jump on the fucking train now or ill find it hard to send the letters.

1 found the love | Where is the love?

:: 2005 27 April :: 6.35pm
:: Music: Weezer - The World Has Turned And Left Me Here

Please?
This week is taking forever. its only wed. and i feel like im dieing already. i mean seriously just let this week get over with i mean i dont have to work till saturday now that i just got out today so thats one thing to look forward to. Prom is going to be fun ill get to finally ride in a limo. Like seriously week fucking end and let me go on with the task of making it through school. I mean yeah we have to take final exams soon which kinda sucks hardcore but i dont have an exam in chem, just some stupid quiz but like im not really catching on to any of this crap we are doing now with the mole calculations and shit with the mass of the compounds and shit its annoying and well something i dont know what but something is up in my head just bugging me i cant figure it out though i really dont know what it is but its there and its really tearing me open. and im sick and being sick agitates me and makes the week seem even longer than it really is. im thirsty to. and yoko needs to get out of her cage but im just to lazy to go over there and get her out i mean seriously its just a little rat that i get out sit on my shoulder and shes good for a while. ok its still wed. seriously something is wrong here. prom prom prom exams exams exams food food food yoko yoko yoko. stacy stacy stacy. what did i do?

4 found the love | Where is the love?

:: 2005 26 April :: 8.53pm
:: Music: Alien Ant Farm - Glow

Wake The Fuck Up.
Ok like 12 school days left...thats really it? yeah thats all that i have left and well the world is open and real to me. prom coming up. got my tux pink and black, im hott. (yeah i went there with the two t's) and well my voice hurts im sick and tired. yoko is getting big. i love her shes nice and cute she wont come out of the cage today. she smiles at me i like it. cocoa is extra cute. the world turns. "friends" go away, its cool. love yall who stay with me. college coming up fast. better deal with that soon. hatred almost gone. i lvoe you all so fucking much. wish i could have left a better impression on all of you. i mean what i leave that school with wasnt that bad. i mean right? o well i hope i left something good behind. and well here goes life in 12 days. love much. ~Tails

:: 2005 21 April :: 6.51pm
:: Mood: sad

It's going to be cold out again. Gas went up.

If I know I was born to perform on stage, then why does it scare me so much to know that I want to do that for the rest of my life?

Maybe because it's not a stable job like being a teacher or an accountant or a dietician.

Maybe it's because I want it so bad that if I fail I'm not going to know what else to do.

Maybe it's because I love it so much.

:: 2005 20 April :: 5.26pm

I wore my brand new woohu.com t-shirt today.

It made me feel special.

Spahgetti for supper tonight. Summer is filling in with things by the week. I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed. I remember all those summer vacations where I sat and did nothing every single day. I didn't go anywhere for days at a time. Those were my most precious days. Those were the days when I knew things, characters in books don't betray. The lilac bush outside my window is budding. In a few weeks it will be bursting with purple and white. And then in a week it will be over.

The flower only gets a while to shine, while the bush lives the year 'round. It seems like that sometimes. We have only a few select times in our lives in which we can impose our beauty on the world. Are you a lilac or a venus fly trap?

6 found the love | Where is the love?

:: 2005 18 April :: 6.42pm

well i fell asleep and i realized its peaceful there. i want that to be my life my dreams should be my reality. so ill just lie here a while longer and wish of how i want my life to be and how it is when im asleep. well i have a date to prom. me a date??? fucking weird....i dont think i like it. im supposed to be the crazy cat guy who dies at 78 alone in the living room as the cats cover my body and take me to their heaven with a solitary mew from them in unison as they scatter away and the camera runs up along the wall dolly to the ceiling shot spining at 6.89 seconds per rail yard and the camera lens focuses on a small ramp. ill asscend into heaven with this to hold me close. but im tired of life.

2 found the love | Where is the love?

:: 2005 14 April :: 8.52pm

i was looking back through photo albums and things of that nature today and i noticed that outside of christmas, after the second grade, i must have died and nobody told me about it. see there arent any random photos of me after that and they dont pick back up until about the 6th grade so im wondering if mom has some albums she stole when she left or if maybe my parents just forgot to take any photos of me at all and just left it all up to the family outside. or if maybe they just didnt give a fuck and i cant locate any of my old school pictures outside of 2nd grad and 9th grade. well good thing my past dosent really exist...sad isnt it.

2 found the love | Where is the love?

:: 2005 14 April :: 7.41pm
:: Mood: contemplative

Everything is upon me. Or so it seems. Do you ever have those days where your head is just buzzing with things that you think you have to do, or just actionless emotions, and then you realize that it all means nothing? Everything is going to be just fine. You aren't being overstretched or spread too thin as the jumble of things in your head might want you to think. Like a well organized space. Things take up a lot of room when they are unorganized and you don't know what to do with them, but if you just sit down and figure out where everything goes, in the closet, on the shelf, next to the window, on the bookcase, and you know that it's where it belongs and you can easily find it again, then they take up a lot less room and you have more area to move around.

I've taken to observing people a lot lately. How they walk, talk, gesture. It's all very interesting. I realized that I do it a lot when I become withdrawn. It doesn't make me as happy, but I learn a lot. Just slow down and not talk, pretend that I'm not there, and just watch what happens without interacting. Many things are apparent when you only sit and watch. Today I watched a group of three people. All three are "involved" with another person. Two are guys, one is a girl. She controls them like nothing could ever control a man. She touches them and looks at them with large eyes when they are jokingly rough with her. She knows it's just play, but likes the attention. She gets hugs and lots of physical touch between both the guys. The two guys are friends, although from very different social cliques. They bonded in the way men do best, through competition. You can easily tell the younger is the submissive one because he always walks just a little behind the older, although he is in better physical condition. Both practically beg for her attention, although I'm sure not intentional, but the practices are reminiscent of some long burried mating interaction they do not recognize, but still put to action by their instincts.

Are you scared yet? I'm sure most of you know these three people. Have you ever looked at people in this way? Not as your friend, enemy, or associate, but as a human. Humans are quite odd creatures.

I've also observed that the overweight female, as long as she carries herself with convidence and a friendly nature, along with good grooming habits is far more accepted by her peers than a female with a perfect figure and ugly diposition.

It's all in the way you carry yourself.

:: 2005 13 April :: 12.20pm

Rueben

Hey, if you get out of class and want to come to the auction at grand valley tonight.....go to grandvalley's campus (take 131 to Pearl, get in either one of the two center lanes, go past GVSU to fulton, turn left onto fulton and park in the parking lot just before the river)
to the L.V eberhard center walk past the back of the bulding, past the other parking lot, go in glass doors and follow signs

you don't have to come, but if you get this i'll be there til almost 11pm

We can give you a ride home if you want to come and volunteer....free chinese food!

And for anyone else, those are the directions.....if you want to volunteer you have to be there by five pm....you'll get free food and be on tv (if you want) for a little bit...Plus it counts as community service hours.

The people are really nice...and it runs through saturday.

michelle

7 found the love | Where is the love?

:: 2005 11 April :: 9.07pm

School tomorrow. That sucks ass.

I fucked up.

I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

I have lessons tomorrow.

I have a AP Chem test tomorrow.

I'm voluntering at WGVU's auction Wednesday evening. My mom was one of the people that put the auction together. Jessie's probably comming too. Anyone one else interested? Let me know by tomorrow.

Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. ~William Feather

1 found the love | Where is the love?

:: 2005 11 April :: 8.16pm

HEY. im alive and coming to the relazation that this is it. better make the best of my last month or so of school. so watch out bitches im gonna be a hard hitting mother fucker and im going to make sure i dont leave any loose ends behind me. no more sad thoughts about what im leaving behind, now i can focus on making what i leave behind the best i can. so here goes. o and by the way im setting up that test on tuesday so my life can get on track and it wont be bothering me anymore i mean the test dosent get me in or out of GRCC its just a test to see what they think i should take while im there. im sure cause i suck at math ill end up in some fucking algebra class or something gay FUCKING A I HATE MATH SO HARDCORE!!!!. anyway see yall later.

:: 2005 10 April :: 2.14am

ok i need to find some people to rent a limo with so i will need some people who will want to be in the limo with me and (?) and stacy and brad so please if you want to ring me in.... but i dont know if stacy and brad are even going to be in the limo so if you want to invite me and my possible date into your limo that would be cool too. well prom is coming and im nervous so help me out.

:: 2005 7 April :: 3.32pm

I'm listening to "Jesus Christ Superstar"....on record.

It's so old school. Yeaaah maann. *takes drag from joint*

They use a lot of bass in the pit. I guess that's what you get with a rock musical, huh?

Work was excruciating slow today. I don't have to work again until Saturday.

Well I suppose I should do some homework or something....hmm...how about..no.

-michelle-