m&ms487
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2004 22 November :: 12.15pm
:: Mood: blah
I'm sick, and I'm in modern business, and I just typed a paragraph at 109 words per minute.
I want to go to bed.
I should have never done what I did. I'm stupid. I'm so fucking stupid. But you know, now that I did, it's not going to matter, and it's just gonna be bad, and god, why am I so stupid? I knew if I just held on for a little while, it would all be fine, and maybe it would be an out, but no. Now theres nothing.
Stupid stupid stupid me.
Where is the love?
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m&ms487
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2004 21 November :: 10.09am
:: Mood: curious
{the future of us all}
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a family and be a mother. I know it would be hard, but what is the purpose to all life? To create more life. That is the lasting legacy. Not to mention, getting there is also fun.
Someday I want a house and a family and maybe a cute little dog. Not right now, of course, because i'm still young, I still have a lot of things to do with my life before then, but unlike a year ago, I can picture it all now, and that makes me happy.
2 found the love |
Where is the love?
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m&ms487
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2004 19 November :: 10.17am
:: Mood: groggy
I'm sick today (I once wrote a poem called that in fifth grade...I'm a freak)
So, I stayed home today, because, lets just say, last night wasn't the most pleasant nights. I have the stomach flu or something of that sorts. It's very, uncomfortable.
I took off all my make up a few minutes ago, and now I look like a little twelve year old. Always fun, is it not?
Today is Rueben and I's 6 months. That seems like a really long time, it's half a year. It's the longest I've ever had a boyfriend. I don't even forsee this relationship being cut short anytime soon, no matter what anyone does, says, etc. I'm a very lucky girl. I think I can sum it all up in one quick equation:
Rueben = Very Good
I'm scheduled to work today, but I'm not sure if I'm going to. It's from 4-8:30. My luck, they'll put me on carts and I'll die. I already feel like I'm going to, so, I mean, what's the difference? And it's out of the question to ask NOT to be put on carts. In fact, if i did ask, then they would probably just put me out there for spite. They're all like that, you know.
We got our chair placements yesterday. I beat out 20 other flutes, and I am first chair. It's crazy how close it all was. I guess I got a perfect score on my sight reading - the best out of the whole band. I really don't understand how that could be, but I must underestimate myself.
Until we meet again.
Michelle
4 found the love |
Where is the love?
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sputnik
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2004 18 November :: 12.34pm
Bst sucks and pig lungs are cool.
Current Issues keeps me sane and helps me open up to if that makes any sense. I guess talking about things that I relate to in animated ways makes me feel open about shareing my opinions in a class. And Mr. London is fricken awesome.
I'm gonna miss this class.
Everyone should work at McDonalds. I don't want to be the fry girl forever.
I need new service people tp take over so they can stop laughing at me. Awww...
BLEEDING HEARTS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!
4 found the love |
Where is the love?
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sputnik
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2004 17 November :: 10.27pm
Woah. Talk about mood swings. Sorry guys. I hfate it when that happens. I'm all better now I think.
I just needed to do just that. Think it out.
Anyways, I am excited about this whole All day Band orgie with Just invitation only participants. Ummm... I think you should all know... there was only 3 invitations sent out . I think Mr Robuck got one too though. Well, hopefully he received it. Anyways, I am likeing the whole 1 1/2 hr drive. Maybe another raising of the dead presidents? Who knows.
Bowling too next Tues. Wow. Soo busy.
I want Friday to come so I can go shopping and spend all my hard earned money- cause what else is there to do?
Save it? Hell no. I better change my ways soon.
I am tired
I'm gonna sleep
Night
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
2 found the love |
Where is the love?
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m&ms487
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2004 17 November :: 9.01pm
:: Mood: calm
ONE thing made me happy today.
The FIRST thing all day.
Thank you, my dear.
but other than that the day sucked, starting at lunch, and ending, well, when i go to sleep.
The serpent never sleeps and is never far from pleasant dreams.
I've learned that by now.
Where is the love?
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sputnik
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2004 16 November :: 1.13pm
I haven't been in this kind of a mood ever since about a month and a half ago. Cause?
It's not like it's PMS. I hate being a girl. There is one excuse for everything that goes wrong in life. The Menstrual Cycle.
Shit.
oifhmvnakho;aweilfdn?:OJgfiwa;asgk/nsa;'aoepw'jt;alsmk'faoipwtpowmkjgv
GAHHHHHH!
3 found the love |
Where is the love?
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sputnik
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2004 16 November :: 12.22pm
I hate not knowing how to feel or how to express myself. I like him so much and I just fluster him more than myself. What the hell?
Why can't I think straight? I don't know what the hell to do.
I want to cry. This isn't suppose to be this difficult. But so is everything else.
5 found the love |
Where is the love?
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m&ms487
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2004 16 November :: 11.52am
:: Mood: contemplative
You can Do anything, I know it, and you know it, and the day you find out how special you really are, you're going to leave me behind.
So, last weekend was quite, not good. I went to work Saturday at one in the afternoon for a four and a half hour shift. I was given the curbside beeper (when old people or people with too many groceries need help out to their cars, the cashiers press a button and I help them to their car and put there groceries in the car and such) and I there was this one really weird lady who kept her change in old cigarette packs and was really old and sad looking that i had to help out to her car. I did, because, well, that's my job. When we got out to her car, it was really gross, it was filled with stuff, and was all ratty and smelled like cigarettes. Then it happened. She started talking to me about her life, about how her son was having surgery, her daughter was murdered, her husband died a long time ago, and she was all alone, and she was afraid to go in her house, and the guy across the street with an alcoholic wife would bring her mail to her and in her words, "he grabs me and hurts me" and by now I was feeling really bad, but i had to get back inside because, well, i was working. I told her this, and she said, "I understand, you don't want to listen to a pain the ass like me" and when i tried to assure her that wasn't it, she started talking about how she wasn't even strong enough to wash her own hair, so when she comes to the store to be around people, they all look at her like she's nasty and such. By this point, I had stood there about twenty minutes. The whole time I was trying to reassure her that everything was going to be okay. The last thing she said to me before i walked away was, "I just wish they would have buried me in the coffin with my husband when he died". This did it for me. I was walking backing into the store and I burst into tears. I had to go ask Carolyn if i could go on break and I went in the bathroom and cried for my whole fifteen minute break. I cried for me, I cried for her, I cried because life shouldn't have to be like that. People shouldn't have to be scared about other people, or to be home alone, or to be alive. Especially someone who has lived that long. When I first saw her I made the assumption that she was one of those really nasty old ladies, but when she was crying in that car telling me all this, I felt ashamed that I could ever think that way about another human being. She was just as much of a person as I, and deserved as much respect. Probably even more.
Some people are not clean, or have good manners, or look "pretty" or act with the best of manners, but that doesn't mean that they aren't PEOPLE. They deserve a chance to be with us. If there is a problem that you can't stand, then you have the right not to be around them, but prejudgements only enforce isolation. It keeps you from learning about who you are, who you could be. What if you were that old lady, how would you feel? You had nothing left. Nothing, everyone you had ever loved or lived for was gone, and you were all alone, and couldn't even wash your own hair.
Would you talk to you?
4 found the love |
Where is the love?
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m&ms487
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2004 14 November :: 6.17pm
I'm so tired. I just want to fall away.
School tomorrow, and then the next day, and the next and the next...
does this torture ever end?
Oh, yeah, we die
I have to get off the internet so jessie can call me.
I want to tell her about my horrible weekend, perhaps i'll share it here sometime.
And rueben, call me tomorrow (monday) after 4:30 if you're home and you don't have to work, or get a hold of me somehow.
I love you.
-michelle-
Where is the love?
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m&ms487
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2004 13 November :: 10.46am
What is going on?
Why is all this happening?
Can't we all just be in little school again and have those kinds of problems, like going through puburty and being afraid to ask someone "out".
Gee whiz.
1 found the love |
Where is the love?
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sputnik
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2004 10 November :: 12.51pm
how bad are you??
X the ones you have done:
(X) I have been drunk
(x) I have kissed a member of the opposite sex
(X) I have kissed a member of the same sex
( ) I crashed a friend's car
( ) I have been to Japan
( ) I rode in a taxi
( ) I have been in love
( ) I've had sex
( ) I've had sexual relations in public
( ) I've shoplifted
(X) I have been fired
(X) I have cut myself on purpose
(X) I have smoked pot
( ) I still smoke pot
( ) I've had a 3-some
(X) I've snuck out of my parent's house
( ) I have been tied up. (yes...in THAT way)
( ) I pissed on myself
( ) I have been arrested
(X) I've made out with a stranger
( ) I've stolen something from my job
( ) I've celebrated New Year's in Time Square
( ) I've gone on a blind date
(x) I've lied to a friend
( ) I've had a crush on a teacher
( ) I've celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
( ) I have been to Europe
(x) I've skipped school
( ) I have thrown up in a bar
(X) I have purposely set myself on fire
( ) I have eaten sushi
( ) I have been snowboarding
(x) I have been happy with myself
(X) I have met a movie star
( ) I had sex in a pool
(x) I went to a dance with someone of the same sex
( ) I've bungee jumped
( ) I have been to a pop concert
( ) I have dated someone for over a year
( ) I sold naked pictures of myself
(x) I have been in a car accident
(x) I have slept in the nude
(x) I've eaten cheesecake
( ) I've had jury duty
(x) I've hated someone without knowing them
(X) I have given oral sex
( ) I have recieved oral sex
( ) I've shot a real gun
(X) I've ran around with my trousers around my ankles
( ) I've had sex with someone within a week of meeting them
( ) I've done ecstasy
( ) I've gotten my ass kicked
(X) I've been caught smoking
(x) I've worn boxers
(x) I've milked a cow
( ) I've got in a verbal fight with a teacher
( ) I've cheated on someone
( ) had sex with a best friend
(x) Lied one time in this survey
( ) Lied more then once in this survey.
(X) Lied to a friend you see everyday
( ) Kissed a person that has a g/f or b/f
( ) Used ice cubes as a foreplay accessory
(x) Wasted time filling this out instead of doing something productive
( ) Have nude pics of yourself on your computer
( ) Walked across 8 lanes of interstate highway
(x) Have been to camp
(x) Have read a book(s) more than one time
(X) Have eaten cat food
( ) Have been pulled over by a cop
( ) Own porn
(x) Am a Republican
(x) Likes classic movies
(x) Own a kitty
( ) Carried a lunchbox in high school
(x) Buy gumballs to watch them swirl in the machine
(X) Likes to be dominated
( ) Likes to drive with the windows down and the music turned up
( ) Eats PB &J for breakfast because there's nothing else
I guess I'm okay. Not too bad right?
2 found the love |
Where is the love?
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sputnik
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2004 4 November :: 12.57pm
Bleeding Hearts of the World Unite!
Gosh I like that kid...
6 found the love |
Where is the love?
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sputnik
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2004 4 November :: 12.38pm
Thinking of a wonderful weekend full of work, fun, and skateing. And maybe if I'm lucky, a 4 wheeling escapade. Rain go away.
I am in love with life right now. It's just so good.
1 found the love |
Where is the love?
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sputnik
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2004 2 November :: 5.44pm
Staying home from school is the best. Wow. Do I ever feel rejuvinated. I love getting out of bed and just watching TV all day. I hate having to do homework you know you missed. I hate essays. I love candy. I've got to go clean now. Did I mention I hate cleaning?
5 found the love |
Where is the love?
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