SnOwFlAkEa4
|
::
2004 1 June :: 9.42pm
:: Music: LLALALALLA
ITS UPDATED # 84 AND ON!! ENJOY!
things that i think are dumb or i dislike (UPDATED #84- WHATEVER NIMBER IT ENDS TO) ill have more soon!
1. PLAYERS!! when guys are players it just sucks bc its mean and just something no one deserves, weather the 2 are gong out or not
2. Mr Hanson
3. Having to shave my legs
4. people who never say anything nice to others
5. people who say they like something only because someone they like does.
6. seeing someone laughing at mentally retarded victims
7. gold teeth
8. erasable pens (they dont erase)
9. people who drink and think they're cool talking about it.
10. same above with sex
11. people who put down another person for race or color
12. peppers and onions (a little bit of onion is okay but peppers are just boring in flavor and have an awful stench)
13. getting yelled at for not going to school because i'm sick.
14. the sun glaring in my eyes when i'm in a car no matter what you do
15. twangy country music
16. guys being perverted, it can be cute for a little bit than it just gets annoying
17. people who ask ''how far have you been?" or who assume that because you've been in a relationship for a long time, you've went really far
18. salmon
19. hypochondriacs
20. girls who wear low cut shirts and get mad at boys for looking, or are all giddy and act like this is a spirit match
21. when people make fun of any of my friends
22. rapists
23. watching sports on tv (hockey is an exception) (A BIG ONE)
24. christmas shopping in crowded stores
25. slow drivers
26. potholes
27. tailgaters
28. people who steal other people's phrases and think they're cool because they say them
29. girls wearing a lot of makeup. you don't need to.
30. girls who look good in capris, I LOOK BAD, and it's not fair
31. my feet
32. homework
33. when people sing christmas music in the middle of june
34. bras
35. pet hair
36. squeaky hinges
37. creeky floors
38. teachers who pick favorites and hit on them. (unless it's me)-not
39.slavery
40. animal cruelty
41. glitter appearing on my body when i didnt put it there.
42. people who swear every other word
43. the sound my alarm clock makes
44. telemarketers
45. sound of hairdryer/ vacuum when i'm trying to listen to music or watch tv
46. people checking me out that are not of my own age
47. checking the answering machine only to hear like 5 people hang up
48. when my dad has to know whos on the phone.. or friends doing the same its none of your business
49. wind when my hair is down
50. when mr hanson tries to yell and scare us
51. when mr hanson dances in front of the class or sings and tries to be funny
52. bugs
53. swallowing pills
54. the partridge family
55. when it's just my dad and me home together
56. pointy/ shiny shoes
57. being in 2nd hour knowing i have mr hansons class next
58. the voice of Gloria on all in the family
59. when mr hanson says hi to me in the halls
60. when mr hanson looses my papers and even though i turned them in, he gives me a 0
61. having to cut the fat off my meat
62. screaming singers or girls screaming when there friends are right in front of them.
63. when mr hanson never gives me a 100 even when everythings right
64. the words "whatever" and "nevermind" used in any mood other than happiness and joking around.
65. when people say "ill do it in a minute" and it neer happens
66. when people act stupid to get attention
67. when things say 100% real fruit juice than you look at the label and it says 50% real fruit juice
68. when friends backstab you
69. when nathan throws the bannana skin at us
70. when i have an itch i cant scratch
71. when your friends tell you one thing and act a certain way around you until they are with you with eiter guys or other friends and act different or pretend your not there
72. people who lie- i will catch you
73. when i catch someone in a lie and they lie to get out of it and contradict everything they say or lie more when i know its a lie-give it up!!
74. when people mispronounce the word "often"
75. when girls get all dressed up to go to the movies or mall and it looks like there going out to a funeral or wedding something formal like that.
76. girls that cant even walk to the mailbox with out makeup on
77. hypocrites
78. when adults buy happy meals just for the toy to either play with themselves or give to kids or grandkids
79. when the people at mc donalds dont give you your toy with your happy meal
80. when guys play around with you and tell you that they like you, kiss you and leads you on all for a dare
81. ashleys obsession with ugly guys (kenny chesney)
82. how my friends are always right about everything and im wrong but i never listen to them anyway.
83. when friends say "ill never do that" and do it anyway even if it hurts you so bad than say they will never hurt you.. and they hurt you so bad so you say go ahead you already hurt me enough
84. when my parents ask me like a million questions
85. when people just wont tell their crush they like them... you think your going to get anywhere not telling them?
86. Clint, who is sadly obsessed with me
87. Stephanie S. , also sadly obsessed with me
88. when my dad tried to be cool but he really isnt
89. when my teeth hurt and i get the chills
90. people who are annoying online
91. how my hair gets a crease in it when i put it up
92. how everyone says "I LOVE YOU SO AND SO i cant live without you".. when they break up it takes like a month and there on saying it about someone else
93. when the phone wakes me up in the morning
94. when my hair doesnt work with me
95. how my neighbor is always mowing his lawn along with mine, and the whole neighborhoods lawn.. w/ out a shirt... thats kinda gross
96. WHY CAN'T I RUN OUTSIDE WITHOUT A SHIRT!?!? it isnt fair guys can!
96. when i cant beat a video game
97. my old gymnastics coach
98. the freshman whores
99. when someone ( refer to #87) comes to my driveway with this kid that i do not like and that i want to leave me alone (#86) and im too tired to yell at her!!!
100. HOW I CANT STOP BITING MY NAILS!!!
101. Abe and Roseanne Goodman... they are like evil deamons that want to make my life terrible
102. my cousin meghan whod goal in life is to make me have the hardest life in the world
103. when people stare at me.. i want to bury their faces in a hole
104. my neighbor to my right... he never comes outside and i spy on him n his girlfriend in the patio
105. the neighbor to my left... he has partys till like 5 in the morning LOUD PARTIES! how the heck am i suppost to sleep?
106. my mirror reflection
107. when i get scared and think there is a monster under my bed
108. sluts, whores, hoes.... i seem to know alot
109. Jamie idk her last name, but she looks like a barbie doll (except uglier) and acts like a bitch
110. Nicole idk her last name but shes really annoying and acts liek a bitch too and she needs to be shot
111. Anime shows... they are just scary
112. wigger kids... they dont even deserve a name!!
113. the word supercalafragilisticexpialadocious... i cant pronunce it and i hate that
114. when bugs fly around me
115. mosquitoes
116. when i wake up at the middle of the night
117. when am having a good dream andsomething wakes me up
118. when i dont tan
4 Watched me as I |
Fell
|
mizprettyinpink
|
::
2004 31 May :: 7.40pm
i hope ... part of this "getting over him" process includes having second thoughts ...
2 Watched me as I |
Fell
|
|
SnOwFlAkEa4
|
::
2004 31 May :: 1.20pm
ok make sure if you bookmarked my journal or whatever you have it in like caps and lower case LiKe ThIs... so this one you go to
http://www.woohu.com/~SnOwFlAkEa4/
not
http://www.woohu.com/~snowflakea4/
see the difference??... if you dont than your stupid but yea thats the one you go to the
http://www.woohu.com/~SnOwFlAkEa4/
one
Fell
|
|
SnOwFlAkEa4
|
::
2004 30 May :: 11.35pm
:: Mood: crazy
She said, Don't...don't let it go to your head.
Boys like you are a dime a dozen,
Boys like you are a dime a dozen.
She said...You're a touch over-rated.
You're a lush, and I hate it.
But these grass stains on my knees,
They won't mean a thing
[Chorus]
And all I need to know is that I'm something you'll be missin'
Well, maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that far
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that..
I'd never lie to you
Unless I had to, I'll do what I got to
Unless I had to, I'll do what I got to
The truth...is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt
[Chorus]
Cuz I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions
This'll be the last chance you'll get to drop my name
Cuz I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions
This'll be the last time you'll get to drop my name
If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar
If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar
If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar
If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar
Maybe I should hate you for this
Maybe I should hate you for this
Fell
|
|
SnOwFlAkEa4
|
::
2004 29 May :: 11.54am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: my doggie
Nikki came over!
Fell
|
|
SnOwFlAkEa4
|
::
2004 28 May :: 10.26am
:: Mood: OW MY TOOTH
:: Music: lalalala
my tooth still hirts its like 2 teeth left (your right) from the big 2 front teeth well the left one (your right) anyway yesterday i went out with my mom and tried to shop for her but i ended up gatting pants and 3 shirts and a bellt. but when i got home i hung around with lauren and than erica came over lol we put my socks on her antennas and she rode around like that lol thaaan, lauren and erica left but i was allowed to go out with erica and jordan (L, the girl) for an hour and we kinda went around and when erica saw her ex she spazzed lol than i went home did chores and sat around.. at like 9 erica called and said im coming over lol so she did and she wanted to go tpo the movies and beep her horn at random people so we did and we pointed at kids and were like hi 8th graders lol and some girls like "oh yeah im the shit blah blha" (not really but thats how she acted) she really said "bitch im in ninth" and were like well you look like your sixth. dpnt ask we were hyper and erica almost killed me alot of times lol but it was great lol she told me i was fun to hang around with lol but today i have alot planned ill write tonight
Fell
|
|
mizprettyinpink
|
::
2004 27 May :: 1.43pm
:: Mood: wasted
:: Music: midtown-No Place Feels Like Home
regrets are worthless
no more school . i miss it already .
im starting new
this summer im totaly letting my gaurd down and living my life by the minute so fast ... a fastforward mode to make up for all that time i wasted. god this time im doing so many things differently.
moving one for one lol
i just want to live young! not be so down all the time. and so thats what i'll do. regrets ARE worthless and i am SO excited to go to wisconsin in 13 days!
today ... 3rd period was so fun after exams! man i love pot heads ... (maybe thats my probelm?) lol but i really do. they're so freakin funny!
ryan: knock knock ...
me and keye: whos there?
ryan: no one dude ... chill out
sorry it was so funny you had to be there to see ryans face. funniest thing i've ever seen! hahaha man i can't wait for when school starts again to see who i have my classes with!
i feel like i'm starting everything over and this thought has made me realize ... starting over means no more him, and so ... this is where i stand. waiting to find another guy to not ever get seriousl with! just screw around and have fun while im young!
im setting things right ...
everything is fine now guys ... and he is so far gone and im fine!
and oddly enough (erica) the guys in gym today made me forget him! they're so funny! i need to have that kind of fun all the time and im so ready for it. so here i go. (again)
-lauren- ps-i feel so realived ... guys be happy for me ... because after all this time. i'm finally ok with this ... im finally over him ... it feels SO good right now! remember ... regrets are worthless. its taught me so much and its been so unfair but it all works out in the end! today has been one of the best days i've ever had in my life. i love you guys!
6 Watched me as I |
Fell
|
|
SnOwFlAkEa4
|
::
2004 26 May :: 10.32pm
:: Mood: overworked
:: Music: boy meets world
idk i chillaxed with nikki all day until 630 ish than i got ready and went to dance and stayed there.. my show is soon. its at North Ft Myers High soo come out and see us ill have dates and times soon but its 4 days long and like 3 shows a day (siiiiigh) im really scared that im gonig to mess up and everyone will be mad at me... grrr well ill ttyl
6 Watched me as I |
Fell
|
|
mizprettyinpink
|
::
2004 26 May :: 5.47pm
:: Mood: crushed still and so damn tired ... ultimately bum
:: Music: boys night out- Anatomy of the Journey
Today ... was a long ... shitty ass day ...
i'm so tired of these exams and i almost got a refurral today. but like animals, i have a way with people too anna! lol the lady was really nice and let me off.
anna and devon and stephen and julie were suppose to come over today but i guess they couldn't. oh well. not in the mood for company today to be honest. i'd probably just get all pissy.
i need a break. i cannot wait until summer. but i'm also kinda bummed to be spending every day/night alone again. morning til night. save me someone please! these lonely days get me thinking too much...
i usually am the one to hate these kind of entries because no one usually cares about peoples days. but im writing one anyway
i need to shower ... i want to straighten my hair but i really don't feel like it.
god i need someone ... but everyone i see i compare to him and it's not good. i keep wanting to look up. and i think things are getting better. i don't have any idea why this is so hard ... wait no. i take this back. i do ... but thats a whole nother story that i'll never tell ... i need a listener lol who doesn't care if i cry on them. who i don't feel like im depressing telling them what i feel. about EVERYTHING. everyone i see ... our relationship is screwing up. is it just me? am i being extremely bitchy or do i smell? i have no clue. nor should i care but i do.
... waiting to become a barrel of mokeys ...
-lauren-
Fell
|
|
SnOwFlAkEa4
|
::
2004 25 May :: 12.15am
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: sum 41
today was normal.. you know do nothing while my teeth hurt really bad and i keep getting the freaking chills than sleep through the evening wake up at 7 but tonight i had an idea i wanted to see shrek 2 so i asked my dad than i asked sara (s) so we went to see it lol me and sara were in out "i dont care what you people think im never going to see you again anyway" mood lol we were in the movies NO ONE WAS THERE we climbed over seats then we were modeling in front of the screen and did rolls down the wheelchair thing we kinda ran around we ever walked on the arm rests and when we were going to get the popcorn and stuff we walked like loser well i did sara said we should pimp walk.. mine looked more like i was a puppet and the people thought we were crazzzzyy than whenever they had music playing wed get up and dance!! and they had livin la vida loca at the end nd we did the salsa and merengue (spelling)than we skipped out lol we sang and stuff and when i went to sit down at the end of the movie my butt missed the chair and i plopped on the floor siiiigh lol sara than did it too so i wouldnt feel stupid lol we had alot alot of fun!! sara is coming over tomorrow too!! ILY SARA!
1 Watched me as I |
Fell
|
|
mizprettyinpink
|
::
2004 24 May :: 9.52pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: TV on
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 23 May :: 11.5453pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: idk
I turned down shopping today with my mom. she said she had some money and asked if i wanted to go get a few new outfits and i said no but we did go to walmart and i helped her "heathy food grocery shop". i never realized how much clothing i have. and how much of it i don't wear. and how much i don't appreciate it. my parents (just my mom - my dad doesn't count, he just uses it as an excuse as to why i can't do anything- "hey dad can i kiss your ass?... "NO, YOU HAVE A LOT OF CLOTHES!") are always ratting me out for how much they(mom) spend on me just in clothes and i realize they're (mom) right. i was amazed in saying no though. sort of proud of myself in a way. i don't realize how much i have until i look at a few of my friends. they make way with what they have, i can too. i'm a little jealous of them and their strength. maybe next time i'll say no too.
It seems everything in life is great. than i look at how my summer english teacher is always lecturing me or whatever mrs. Ellsworth isn't a BAD teacher, and the scarlet letter isn't a BAD book. BUT THE FONT OF THAT BOOK THAT MRS. ELLSWORTH IS MAKING ME READ IS SO CURSING SMALL THAT I CAN'T READ IT !! i tried my mom's glasses the other night and they seemed to work. but i was watching the red wings at the same time and a headache came on with the looking up and over the glasses and under them and into them. i gave up rather quickly. than she asks me about the book and what i lerned and to summerize it she askes me questions each day. i like the book, and i know what it's about. and i could tell her the whole story with full context and emotion and all that mish-mosh, but if YOU think i've gotten ONE of those questions right ON ANY OF THOSE 4 QUESTION QUIZZES!! it's really sad.
:: So at one point in the novel, the daughter, of the mother who committed adultery and has to wear a letter A on her chest for the rest of her life, is in the forest near a swamp with her mom. she mocks her mom and makes an A out of seaweed/grass and what have you. Mrs. Ellsworth asks what this symbolizes. ...as if it's not implied. the girl is MOCKING her MOTHER. Mrs. Ellsworth then goes on to ask how the color of the weeds and grass is symbolic..? ... GRASS IS GREEN!! it's not symbolic. IT'S NOT. NOT FOR ANYTHING. she grabbed the first freaking thing that would stick to her and put it on her. she couldn't use sticks (brown) because they don't stick. they prick and that's no fun. BUT NO MRS. ELLSWORHT SAYS. they're symbolic. and for WHAT. youth. youth she says. the weeds symbolize youth.
no they don't mrs. Ellsworth.
no.
they don't.
i'm not closed minded.
i know all the right answers to her questions, and i can back them up. but they're not good enough. maybe if i believed more i could be all 'oh this is what he meant' and stuff.
how does she know anyway. were they pals? i don't think so. i'm right.
i could lie through all the tests and quizzes and get an A in the class. but i know what i'm talking about. and i make sense.
In other news...
i find it funny that my cousin and i can get in a big brawl one night and then i go away for a while and while i was gone, she and her boyfriend probably got it on or some crap and i come home and she thinks we can be something like pals BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ASSWIPE; I HATE YOU. and you hate me too. you showed me how to hate. we didn't go to my grandparents' house this year for xmas like we always do because you keep score. because you don't appreciate them. because you can't handle the fact that all you're going to get is something a little less than what you'd rather have had. and because a few times back, they weren't there. well i'm keepin score now. and the scoreboard says YOU SUCK TO THE MAX.
...we should do this again some time.
ok here is a little story to end up my journal
fairy tale
Once upon a time there has a young LOSER named ANDREW. He was I DON'T KNOW CRAPPING in the ALWAYS RIGHT forest when he met HOMOSEXUAL BOB, a run-away FLORIST from the FAT Queen JULIE .
ANDREW could see that HOMOSEXUAL BOB was hungry so he reached into his JOCK STRAP and gave him his DELICIOUS CHEESE RAT. HOMOSEXUAL BOB was thankful for ANDREW's CHEESE RAT, so he told ANDREW a very FLATTENED story about Queen JULIE 's daughter MEG . How her mother, the FAT Queen JULIE , kept her locked away in a PLASTIC BOTTLE protected by a gigantic ELEPHANT, because MEG was so HORNY.
ANDREW WET HIMSELF. He vowed to HOMOSEXUAL BOB the FLORIST that he would save the HORNY MEG . He would FLING the ELEPHANT, and take MEG far away from her evil mother, the FAT Queen JULIE , and SIT ON her.
Then, all of the sudden, there was a STUPID PISS and HOMOSEXUAL BOB the FLORIST began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic ELEPHANT from his story. FAT Queen JULIE FARTED from behind a MUFFIN and struck ANDREW dead. In the far off PLASTIC BOTTLE you could hear a MUFFLED BLAST.
the end
2 Watched me as I |
Fell
|
|
mizprettyinpink
|
::
2004 23 May :: 8.47pm
:: Mood: out of it ...
:: Music: Plain White T's - Shine
how to deal with despair ... ?
[ ] = what i think this stands for
Konstantine ...
Him: I can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
when the lights are turned down low
and I don't understand all the things you've seen
but i'm slipping inbetween
you and your big dreams
[She's starting to believe that this thing could happen ... starting to imagine this outside of her dreams]
it's always you
in my big dreams
[it's always been a wish i know i couldnt have to him ... and he's moving on]
Me: and you tell me that it's over
[nothing can ever happen anymore]
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers
[wake up and find herself in a world of what she hoped could be]
and your restless, and i'm naked
[and he's leaving, and she's helpless ... stranded]
you've gotta get out
you can't stand to see me shaking
[nothing's happening and it's not easy for him]
no
could you let me go?
[was it easy for him?]
I didn't think so
[she didn't think it would be]
and you don't wanna be here in the future
[she's not who he wants, he doesn't see any future with her]
so you say the present's just a pleasent interruption to the past
[this is all a little blot in time to him, he'll remember it but it was never anything big to him]
Him: and you don't wanna look much closer
[she's not so sure herself she wants to let him go]
cuz your afraid to find out all this hope
you had sent into the sky by now had crashed
[because she's afraid to learn that all she gave was for nothing now. everything she hoped for is gone and it's not coming back]
and it did
because of me
[because of him ...]
and then you bring me home
afraid to find out that you're alone
[and she doesn't let go because she doesn't want to be alone]
and i'm sleeping in your living room
but we don't have much room to live
[they're too big for each other, they're both two extreme people without room for each other]
Him:I had these dreams that i learned to play guitar
[and he does]
maybe cross the country
become a rock star
and there was hope in me that i could take you there
[but he never wanted to take her there]
but dammit you're so young
well i don't think i care
and if i hurt you
then i'm sorry
please don't think that this was easy
[but to her it seemed so easy for him ...]
then you bring me home
cuz we both know what it's like to be alone
[and he brings himself back for a moment because he doesnt want this hurt for me]
and i'm dreaming in your living room
[and he likes it here but its all just a dream ... there is bigger things outside of me]
but we don't have much room to live
and konstantine is walking down the stairs
doesn't she look good
standing in her underwear
and i was thinking
what i was thinking
we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere
[in this case all these times we talked, we're in the same postition but he is father away]
my Konstantine came walking down the stairs
and all that i could do is touch her long blonde hair
[he's "attatched now" to his girlfriend, nothing can ever happen]
and i've been thinking
it hurts me thinking that these nights
when we were drinking no they never got us anywhere
no
Me: this is because i can spell konfusion with a "k" and i like it
[ she can sit here forever and not mind]
it's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it
[she loved and lost and doesn't regret trying it]
it's to jimmy eat world and those nights in my car
[listening to the lyrics of the songs, learning how you relate to them]
when the first star you see may not be a star
[when your first love, isn't you're true love]
I'm not your star
[she isn't his true love]
isn't that what you said
[at least thats what he said]
what you thought this song meant
[it is what this song meant]
Him: and if this is what it takes
just to lie in my mistakes
[and if admitting this is what makes it easier for him]
and live with what i did to you
[and forgive himself for breaking this girls heart]
and all the hell I put you through
Me: I always catch the clock
it's 11:11
Him: and now you want to talk?
[it's too late, you spoke up too late]
it's not hard to dream
you'll always be my konstantine
[she'll always mean something to him]
Him: konstantine, they'll never hurt you like i do
[she'll find other guys, they won't break her like he did]
no they'll never hurt you like i do
no, no, no no no no no no
Him: this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
[this song is to a girl, an awsome girl]
hey
you know
you keep me up in bed
[does he still think of her? i think he might still think of her]
this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the fucked up things i did
[yeah ... he fucked up]
hey
maybe
baby
you could keep me up in bed
[she might always mean something to him]
my Konstantine
spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen
[the drama of her loss, it was like a movie]
and i said
Me: did you know i missed you? [x7]
oh god i miss you
and then you bring me home
and we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone, no no
[and she might bring him back, one last time]
and you'll kiss me in your living room
i know
you'll miss me in your living room
[she will miss him in her life]
cuz these nights i think maybe that i'll miss you in my living room
[and sometimes he might doubt his choice]
we don't have much room
i said does anybody need that room?
[does anybody really care if they're too big for each other? does it matter at all?]
because we all need a little more room
to live
[yeah ... and she has to move on]
my Konstantine
yeah ... i dunno it makes more sense to me because i feel it, i know it. somethings i didn't add in there for his sake and so i'll sing off this stupid computer before i regret this entry and erase it ... good-night. -lauren
Fell
|
|
