:: 2003 28 October :: 3.43 pm
:: Mood: aggravated/eye is annoying/angry
:: Music: GTO - Drivers High

Close the World |

:: 2003 27 October :: 6.12 pm
:: Mood: eye is in little pain/confused/ticked/itchy

FUCKING SHIT!!!!!! Jessica was at school and she didn't talk to me all day! Laura wasn't there the first half of the day cause she had to go get her braces! I was by myself! Cause I didn't want to suck up and hang out with girls I usually dont' juts cause Laura wasn't there. Everyone knew about what had happened, well a few didn't. Jessica was late for class first hour. Some guy took my sunglasses off so a few people saw, including Aaron -_-+ That really pisses me off that she didn't even ask if I was alright... It really does! Damnit! What ... I.. that friendship is a bunch of crap! I thought we were closer friends then that shit! I'm about to cry. I really want someone to hold me. I thought.. I thought me and Jessica and Laura were pretty tight! .... I ... I'm wrong! This is making me so angry and confused, and depressed and.... well... I don't care... that's how I feel now but,... I know I do care... I missed her today, her company.... she was just talking and laughing and having a good ol time with Brittney and that new girl Amanda... -_- right by me she was laughing... I cought her looking at me some times... I couldn't read her face.... sad but annoyed, angry... I don't know..... Laura got there and I was taking pictures of our assembly for this newspaper and our yearbook when I saw that Laura was back, sitting next to Jessica of course. -_- then in last hour... she .. was talking to Jessica and... asked what happened to my eye.. and .. then she said... well .... I dont' know... this is what she said to me on the computer:

Laura: oh, r u mad at her?
Buda: not really... just disappointed
Laura: she said that u haven't talked to her
Buda: -_- she hasn't talken to me ....
Laura: well r yall going to talk to each other
Buda: depends....
Laura: on....
Buda: I don't know. I'm confused, I can't believe she pulled the trigger...
Laura: she said she thought that she went the other direction but she said she didn't have her contacts in. gosh my teeth hurt!!!!!:-(
Buda: ......
Buda: Well she knew she hit me. The least she could of fucking done was asked me if I was ok a few times damn!
Laura: she said she did
Buda: chi' once, and said sorry once, then mumbled to her self then when my face stoped stinging I left and she just stayed where she was....
Laura: how long do u have to wear the sunglasses?
Buda: since sunday, I had to go buy some
Buda: oh till it heals
Laura: oh
Buda: my eye is still sensitive to light, but it shouldn't be for much longer
Laura: oh... today in basketball practice someone's fingers went in my eyes

-_-+ fucking shit right!? That is soo a bunch of shit.... -_- I just... want things to automaticly go back to before that happened.. but it just can't solve it's self -.- someone has to take action. I don't think I should have to talk to her frist. I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE SHE DIDN'T EVEN ASK HOW MY EYE WAS!!! Fucking shit! I think she should apologize... untill then.. I dont' think I should say anything to her.. but.... I really... lke being friends with her.. and if this goes on I know Laura will leave me -_- that means I thought I had good friends here but.. I just really can't trust anybody.. I'm so glad I didnt' deside to confide in any of them... ... .. .. . ...

..... I watched that Phychic Force DVD that I bought off of eBay that was supposed to of been in that other on at my friends shop that was really a different DVD. Remember?...

...

I'll write later....


Ja Mata...... ~

Close the World |

:: 2003 26 October :: 9.15 pm
:: Mood: hurting/ticked/annoyed/confused

... Jessica didn't show at church. I'm glad, but confused. I don't know. This is ... I dont' know. I don't know weather Laura is gonna side with Jessica or me. Most likely Jessica. Jessica and Laura have known each other for ever, and 3 years ago I came in the picture and we've been friends sence... I just don't know -_- My eye is really hurting now. I don't know why. I'm just... ticked, and so confused. I feel soo alone. It seems that I don't have as good of friends as I thought I did. I don't know..... if Jessica and Laura leave me... I won't have anyone.... heh I'm such a coward.... those friends of ours that we went to see a while back, (over an hour away) want us to move down there. I didn't want to cause I didn't want to leave Jessica and Laura... I don't think it's such a bad idea now. Aaron.. fuck him, I don't know why I even bother with guys... or anyone at that. My rp life is better that what I have now. How many people have said that? It's becaues they are weak. I need to ... be more out there.. I try to be, I really do. Me and Jessica go to Hastings sometimes and just read and eat and listen to Japanese music... shit... I'm confused. Why would she do that? Did she not notice how close I was? I don't know, I think she should of been more concered... she was all hyper... she might be getting into drugs now.. damnit Jessica...... I feel alone..... I want someone to hold me... not my parents, I never let them touch me. ... I let my friends though....... and now.... I just don't know.... I'm still triping, if she laughs at me.. I might just hit her.... it won't solve anything but at least we'll get on level ground... weak huh? Yes I am a coward... rabbit? supposed to be lucky. Luck my ass.... there is no such thing as luck, that's what I've always been told.... I just don't know. I ain't taking this out on god, and I dont see how it could glorify him..... hell if it would I just don't know... advise please... kellie came over to .... talk about a chruch thing that is going on in a different state, and my dad brought up what happened at the creek. the eye thing and well... my parents made fools of them sleves.... .. some first impression.... shit... now .... they are gonna think I live in a very challenged home, with lots of agruing and stuff. Which is true, but I"m used to it, and there is no vilonce. My parents didn't agree and my mom... damn,... my dad ... didn't let me or mom have say... such an ass... i should set him straght. He is my father but when your in the wrong your in the wrong..... ... doesn't matter what race, sex, whatever the hell.... .. yeah well dang my eye is hurting... i don't want to go to school cause of me haveing to wear glases... anyway


Ja Ne~

Close the World |

:: 2003 26 October :: 2.37 pm
:: Mood: kinda in a bit of pain/cold

Well, the creek, Haunted Walk, did not go good at all.

When I first got there it was ok. Well, let me start with Friday night. I was put under the bridge in charge of the fog machine. That thing didn't work worth crap! It would work when you didn't want it to, and not work when you needed it to! Well, I was with this guy Lance under there ^^' everytime a group passed over the bridge he would come and sit next to me on the cold, dirty ground ^^' Damn, I don't rememeber but he like did something and got really close xD I thought he was gonna kiss me! >.< I had my fists and feet all ready ::rubs back of head:: naw, I kinda wanted him to kiss me >.> but then thought about it and didn't want to be unloyle to Aaron o.o :\ ~ Then when it was over, we had to walk the trail to get back (we was kinda towards the middle, more to the exit then the middle though) and he went infront then stopped to see if I was right there ^^' He's like you comming? I'm like yea, then we walk and then a while up he stopped or something and I just kept going, planning on just walking past him but then he turned his head and breath hot-air right on me! xD Gahhhz -.- Yeah, I didn't mind though ^^'

~

Yeah, ok now LAST NIGHT!

Well, like I said. It went ok at first. I wasn't under the bridge this time, I was next to the slide with cookie sheets ^^' banging them together to make noise xD Yeah, had to sit next to trees all in the dirt and crap. Naw, it was cool. The wind was blowing really hard Friday and last night, but then like right before we was about to start, the wind just stopped o.o Boy was I glad. o_o It was cold, but once that wind stopped it felt a lot better ^^' AnYWaY! We had been going for a while, then there wasn't any people in line, so we got to move around and walk back down to the thing if we wanted a drink. I just stayed where I was, then remembered that Aaron and Jessica were doing paintball guns, which is on the other side of the bridge. (the guns weren't loaded. they were just using the sound the air made to scare ¬_¬) So, I heard people over there, so I dusted my butt off and walked over there ^^ Aaron was over there! :D He said, who is that? (dah cause it was dark) someone shone a flashlight on me and he's like oh it's Buda ^^' He said hi and that made me happpy. He was leaning up against the bridge, so I just stood on the edge of it and Jessica told me hi and I said hi back. I just walked behind Tim, Aaron's brother who was sitting on the bridge, and sat down. Jessica keep begging me to go with her to get her gun cause she had left it back at her place, and I didn't want to get up cause I was beat. (once the slide went down the hill I had to drag it back up there! A crap load of times TOO!) So she left and Aaron left :\ and I just stayed there, Tim left, and it was just me and this guys dad standing, and the guys son and girlfriend under the bridge laying down, like asleep almost. :\ Jessica got back and all pointed the paint ball gun at me -_- she's like 'Buda, can I shoot you?' (I'm for real. She really fucking said this!) I'm like '._. no' and she's all laughing in her voice, 'But I really want to shoot you in the face, Buda' and I'm like *is she for real? fuck * and I'm like 'no Jess-' -__- and bang.... she friggin pulled the trigger.... A FOOT AND A HALF AWAY FROM MY FACE!!!! That thing had dust in it or something, cause when it hit my face, dang it stong. I had dirt and dust all in my face and EYES. I curled up in a ball, being all quite, clinching my face. -_- I can't believe she fucking did that. I just sat there, griping my face and pushing on my eyes, waiting for the sting to go away. It didn't. She's like 'oh Buda, ha ha I'm sorry. Did it really hurt?' and that was it. That was all she said. -_-+ I didn't say a word, man tears was pushing at my eyes ^^' I didn't cry though. I sure as heck wanted to :| but thought it would hurt too much ^^' plus I didn't want to act like a woose xD Anyway! She walked past me and sat down infront of me. The adult told her to watch where she's pointing that thing, and all asked if I was alright and shined the light in my face. I asked him not to then got up, bearly able to keep my eyes open as long as a blink! to see. I got up and pushed Jessica forward and walked passed her without a word. I just went back to my stop by the slide all by myself in the dark, and all almost cried, tring despritly to get all that dirt from my eyes... -_- man, I could feel a whole lot of dirt from my eyes on my fingers. That dude what was working at the slide, Anton's dad, came up. I asked if there was any water down there and he said no. I asked if someone could drive me back to a house so I could flush out my eyes, he agreed and helped me down. Dang, Kellie drove me home. -_- she said I could just stay cause it was almost over anyway. Got home and flushed them out with water. Man, I got an instant tan. My face was CovereD in dust! I washed my face and flushed my eyes. It didn't help much. Our friends that are here, one of them, the guy Pat, has really bad allery eyes, and has eye drops. I flushed them out with it, and it somewhat helped. They said it would be good to sleep, so that my body could wash them its slef, so I did. I woke up 2 times. Once, my eyes was feeling like it had something in it, my left one, and the other time my nose was like a friggin guewie waterfall. This morning my eye wasn't better. My right eye was pretty good (it's my bad eye, the one I can't see out of very well) and my left eye I could bearly keep open. My dad took me to the ER and we waited for a hour and something and the guy came in and told me to lay back and put some yellow drops in my eye (left eye), which only stong for a bit, then looked at it under a black light ^^ those things are cool! Then flushed it out with these somekinda of drops and it numbed my eye -.- which made it feel much MUCH better! He said I have a scratch on my cornea. A corneal abrasion is what it's called (reading it off the paper he gave me) Yeah. I have this cream to put in it 3 times a day :\ and he said it will take like 4 days to heal, but the paper says 1-2 days ::throws hands up in air:: I don't know! But I'm really friggin dissapointed in Jessica, she ain't really my friend since she bearly cared at all. A true friend would of walked after me when I left. I guess it was a good idea not to get too close to anyone here. We left and I bought some sunglasses to wear ^^' Oh and >:| I had a nice clean ol soft, non zit face and when that impact hit me it shoved dirt in my face! It looks like a rash or that my face broke out or something -_-+ freak her. I have church tonight, and I'm gonna talk to our school's princibal and tell him that I'm allowed to wear my glasses at school ^^' yep I'm gonna tell him >:D he best listen to me if he knows what's good for him! ^^' AnYWaY! My brother didn't tape Kenshin for me like I asked him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TT_TT soooo mean!!!!!!!!!! I'm soo ticked.... such a bad bad day yesterday. -_- my eye is really red and hurts.... my mom wants us to come and eat at her work place again so.. I'm gonna put my sunglasses on and get going... Yes well I'm sure I left something out so I'll probaly write later....


Ja Mata~

Close the World |

:: 2003 25 October :: 7.24 pm
:: Mood: calm/kinda tired/excited

Well, last night, I got home at like 1:03 from the creek x.x loong time ^^ naw it was coolz though (went at 9:00) well, I'll tell more about it later, I have to go out there again :\ like in 20mins I have to go. My stomach stoped hurting a while after I got ther. I just sat till it went away ^^' umm o.o Me and Laura went and ate where our parents worked ^^' then stayed. xD They Made Us Sweep!!! Well anyway, yeah well our friends got there today ^^ they have a pretty new GT Mustang *.* red... ^^' Naw it's ok, :p but when I get mine, it will be better ^^' Ummmz well'z....


Ja Ne~

Close the World |

:: 2003 24 October :: 8.24 pm
:: Mood: kinda hurting/tired

Well, during 6th hour, I got picked up by my dad and we went in town to get my hair cut. ^^ It's awesome. It is just neck length and is all different leights and I have it spiked... well... a girly spike cause it's not short enough, well it is but I ran out of hair spray :| I went to our school's halloween carnival, I had to work at our classes booth. My chest/stomach started to hurt so like a few mins before my shift was over I called my dad and my bro came and picked me up. Now I'm writing this. -_- I have the haunted walk to go to too at 9.. which is in 45 mins or so..... -__- my stomach still hurts.... my hair is short and red streaked. I want to get it highlighted red and dark pink with some black thrown in here and there, and the lady that cut my hair wants me to drop by the place once I dye it so she can see ^^ she had fun cutting my hair ^^' you could soo tell. Oh! Later on, like 1/3 of my hair was cut, this emplyee came in. I thought it was just a cubby girl but xD ! Once I heard them talk I could tell it was a GUY! ^^ naw it wasn't freakie, I acctually wanted to talk to him :| but he got on the phone right away, then had this little boys hair to cut -.-' gahh... they all called HIM a SHE :\ I dunno. Well, I'm gonna ... chill and see if I start feeling better. Oh, Jeff was there at the carnival. -.-! He is soooo much better! His face is all cut up and a bit swallon, but he is the same ol same ol Jeff :] I'm soo glad. I asked him if I could have a hug, ^^' he said no xD but I have him one anyway! I'm glad he's better.. yep now... dang.. my stomach...


Ja Ne~

Close the World |

:: 2003 23 October :: 8.36 pm
:: Mood: calm/kinda hot/head kinda hurts

Ok for starters, Jeff is ok, and is out of the hospital now. He has his memory back and he didn't break anything. Thank God. He still can't remember what happened though. Jessica is his cuz and I heard this from her. He isn't going to school tomorrow because he is afraid that everyone will laugh at him because of his busted up face :\ I think it's good for him to stay home for a few days.

Well, school went good ^^ I guess xD I think I did really good on my spelling test ^^' cause I studied >.< for a change! I hate spelling tests! But we are required to take them now, cause she hates miss spelling :\

Anyway, I was just watching MTV awhile ago, anyway, this Japanese commercial came on!!! xD I was like 8o!!!! xD COOL!!! So it came on again, then I guessed that it would come on over and over so I taped it ^^ man >.< I paused it at this one part in the subway, and there is this dude there who is realllly hott!!! ^^' Damn, I want to visit Japan sooo bad!!! xD only after I learn more of the language. Oh and we haven't gotten ahold of my teacher. They won't give us her number and we've lost her's. They supposeally have her ours and she was supposed to call us but ... she hasn't called....

>.< we are having guests this Friday and they are staying for a few nights >.< my mom is cleaning the house. She took down the curtains and washed then and just awhile ago was putting them back up above the windows xD well my dad, being the perv he is, was tring to prod her up the rear with the window rod thingie xD he got slapped! And kept reaching for her butt! So anyway, once they got it up there (my dad is tall so he reached it better) and I was behind my mom, holding my father's arms, and pushing him towards his chair. I was protecting my mother!! AnyWaY! I pushed him into his chair and he was laughing really hard and just ploped down. My mom was still behind me fixing the curtains, and I was scolding my dad. I told him the only ass he could grab was the dogs >.< then he's like 'Oh yeah!?' and faked to get up. So anyway I moved to get in his way and he just floped back down. Well, I'm like 'un huh, that's what I thought' then I fisted my hand infront of him, 'I would back hand you!' and back handed the air with my fist a yard or so from my dad, who was still sitting and hit something behind me xD! IT WAS MY MOM! I HIT HER ON ACCIDENT! >.< My mom grabed her sholder and was all 'Oooo!!' and I'm all putting my arms around her saying sorry and dad is cracking up behind me xD So anyway, mom starts laughing and I guess I didn't hit her hard ^^' (it didn't hurt my fist) so anyway, she made her way back to her couch and dad was cracking up in his chair, and I'm cracking up and I just couldn't stand up anymore! I covered my face with my hands and just sat on the floor, bending over so my head would be on the floor xD Then my dad said he would really be cracking up if I had nailed mother in the nose no less! Gezz ^^' It was rather funny though xD

::takes deep breath:: anyway, yes... well ^^'


Ja Ne~!

Close the World |

:: 2003 22 October :: 8.57 pm
:: Mood: kinda hungry/bummed out/somewhat tired

.... .... ...... .... . ......... . ... . . . . ......... . ........ . ...... . ......... . ...... . .... .. .. . . . ............ . ...... . . .... .......... . ..... . . ........... . . ...... . . ........ . I was getting ready for the creek.... and saw that something had happened on the road ahead. Me and my dad parked at the post office and started walking down the street to where everybody had crowded around... -_- I reconized some boys, one in my class and another who is a brother to someone else in my class (Anton's brother) Someone said that they thought someone had gotten hit by a car on their bike. I'm thinking Anton's little brothers, cause they are always riding around on their bikes. I got closer and saw that Shay was there. She was running back and forth and had a phone in her hand and was bitting her nails... ... then... I was thinking that she must of been there cause she seemed busy, and very worried. I got closer and saw that some guys were behind someone on the road, holding him up, in a sitting posistion... It was Jeff, her half brother.

I was told that Jeff was tring to surf on the roof of this one dudes car. It was said that he pretended to fall off to scare the guy, then really fell. He hit his head. They guy thought he was just playing, then backed up and saw that Jeff was really hurt, and saw all the blood. He told Shay to call an ambulance, and... well.. I didn't see what happened but got there awhile after it had. I saw how bad he was hurt. He couldn't talk, it seemed like he tried, but then it would come out as a painfilled moan. His back arched, and he lunged forward, then fell back into the peoples arms. Poor Shay. He.. Jeff, looked... so much in pain. .... Damn.... .. there was blood on his shirt, all over his face, gases in his arms. He was just laying there, limp and out of strenth. I hid behind some people. For some reason I didn't want Jeff to see that I was there. I didn't want him to feel embarrased... that's why. Now it feels strange. Just today I was messing with him. In computer science we sit by each other.. I'm always messing with him, touching his arms and stuff, making him swrim. Just friendly playing with him. He laughs, we laugh... and now... he.. he didn't even have enough strenth to cry, it seemed that cring would only make his pain worse.... . .... ... when I see him, I dont' care what other people will say or think. I'm going to give him a hug, and probaly start crying.... I miss him already, my friend Jeff.... did Satan temp him? Was this accendent for the glory of God? We didn't pray for him to get better at church today. We prayed that we remembered him and his family, and that it was all to glorify God... I don't know... I see that point of view, but still it hurts. We are human, and I'm sorry for talking about this to those who don't like hearing this. I was closed minded to those who preached, but now I find this religious interesting.

.... Church went well. I was called a clown today, some girl didn't like my hair. Oh well, my complaments out number my disses :\

My mom said that when our friends come that I can't have my hair like this (red streaked) I asked her 'why? are you ashamed of my looks?' she simply replyed with 'yes' ... I couldn't believe that. I was shocked. She is compley serious. My dad said, 'dang girl, you need to do something about your hair' and I said 'yeah I know. I need to get it perminate huh?' he doesn't approve of it either. I like it....

I finnaly played that RPG game. Before church started I played it. Oh, I heard that Aaron is thinking about going out with a girl 2 grades lower then him. :\ I'm dissapointed.... upset.... but then I kinda... like our friendship, and how it's growing and then I want him to be happy. But... with me, happy with me.... I'm not sure if it's true or not, but it probaly is. The boys in our class always get girlfriends in younger classes then ours. .... yes well....

... .. Jeff ... . .



Ja Ne~ ...

Close the World |

:: 2003 21 October :: 11.44 pm
:: Mood: tired/kinda hungry

Well, everyone liked my red and black tiped hair ^^ I think I want to get it cut and then dye the tips black and highlight my hair red ^^ I would soo love that. Dang it's late. My dad and I went to town, to get my DVD, and well I got it and then got in the car and was reading it. Damn I was sooo excited! Cause of the guys on it, then I just relized that it said that it wasn't rated and at nudity and viloence ^^' dang, now I even want to see it more >.< Anyway, I looked on the inside and found out that the cover was different then the DVD INSIDE!! XD NoT FaIR!!! So we took it back, and I have store credit there now :\ what was in it was Burn Up W, heck I don't want to watch that shit. Oh and the name of the anime DVD that I was gonna get was Psychic Force ^^' I don't know if it's yaoi or not o.o but once I'm through with this ya'know I'm gonna look it up before I go to bed ^^' xD maybe I can find it on eBay ^^ Well, then we went to Hastings and 3 goths walked out when I was walking in xD OmG! This girl looked at me, and was like 'whoa' and then she elbowed her guy friend and then he stared at me that got the other girls attention and I had 3 pairs of eyes on me x.x yea ::rubs back of head:: oh and then there was this really cute/hott Japanese guy studing ^^ at one of the table xD damn! I wanted him to look at me ^^' Yeah.. church is tomorrow.. I'm not gonna do a lot to my face and hair... I don't know if they would get mad or not.. besides.. I don't think I should look like that at church :| though.. I don't know! Oh that Forever Kingdome PS2 RPG is awesome ^^ I played it just awhile ago, waiting for my brother to get off the phone so I could get on the computer and RP with my yaoi buddy but then I got on and he wasn't on, which ticked me off -_- and.. yea... ... tired.... I'm not doing so great in math :\ I don't understand it and I'm not making an effort to go and understand it.. I need to go in early in the moring.. but I'm just so lazy. Well, Aaron didn't say anything about my hair, he hasn't yet at all. He just smiles and shakes his head looking to the floor o_o.... Aaron... ... dang.... .. I.. feel sad... cause I dont' think he likes me the way I like him.. matter of fact he might not even like me at all now anymore just because of my looks -_-' though I've judged before too, the same way. Not anymore though, atleast I'll try not too. My mom and dad think that my looks will attract the wrong crowd, and that goths are devil worshipers, and I'm like 'No they aren't! Not all of them!' and my mom is like 'well most of them are. You just better watch out' -_- it ticks me off how they just judge people like that. So closed minded. But you can't just forget how you were raised, so if you dont' like how things are going now, you people out there reading this, take a step and change it. I'm tring hard. My mom went to the casino again.. we need the house payment and my mom is screwing around spending money at the casino and yelling at me. I liked when my mom cut those rubber bands out of my hair (that's how I've been wearing it) and she got all pissed and said that she ain't gonna do this again -_- damn... not even 5 mins to do that, and I can't cause I can't see and a mirror isn't very good for doing stuff like that. Anyway, she got ticked.. Oh, some old friends of ours are comming Friday. They are staying the night for a few nights. They have a Mustang GT Red ^^ I hope they let me drive it :D that would be sooo tight! ||Loves Mustangs|| Yeah, Aaron though... dang.. I'm really tired... So many people at school that I haven't talked to in soo long have just came up to me and asked if they could touch my hair, and says it looks good, and all kinds of complaments. I'm the only one at my school that looks the way I do. No goths, gays, lesbian couples (I'm straight) or anything. :\ No punks, just dorks, idiots, retards, preps, weirdo's, pervs. assholes, and people like me ^^ and Laura and Jessica and Kellie, and Brittney :D yep that's my group right there ^^ Mattie sometimes hangs with us too, but we ain't tight or nuttin. Well, I never get too too close with my friends, I mean, this stuff right here in my journal, I've never told them. Well, dah they know about Aaron, but not about my parents going to the casino every other day. Yeah, well... Ok, I guess I'll write later if I think of anything, and my RP pal is on so ya'know I don't want to type in this journal no more ::winks::


Ja Ne~

Close the World |

:: 2003 20 October :: 8.33 pm
:: Mood: calm/kinda sore

XD!!!!! Well I did dress gothic like! My bangs are red with black tips, and the back of my hair is red, and my lips are lined with black and have a black strip in the middle of the bottem lip, my eyes have eye liner all around them, with dark blue and silver eye shadow, my eye brows are black and silver ^^ my nails are black xD I LOOK SOO AWESOME!!! ^^ I had a lot of complaments, some of the like 8th graders and 7th graders all came up to me saying they liked my hair and then they all wanted to touch it and stuff ^^ Well, it just had black in it cause I didn't have the red dye till after school. SPEAKING OF WHICH! I was locked out of my house today!!!!!! XD Yep, I all walked home and boom, someone had stole my keys :\ well I hope I just misplaced them but I'm sure that I put them in my bag, which I leave in my locker, and then they wasn't in there, and I had to walk back to school, and stay awhile at Laura's basketball practice, and I did some of my math homework, and wrote my spelling words like 7 times each, then called the casino and paged my parents (How did I know they where there?) and then my mom just wanted me to go to Laura's house and wait a few hours untill they got home xD!!! (Remember, it's like a 30 something min drive) and I'm like HECK NO!! COME NOW!!! She was all griping and sent my dad. So I waited and my dad came, and then unlocked the door, let the dogs out, then left :| yep, my dad was like, Shit if I don't hurry your mother is gonna spend all our money -_- it's sad, she prob really would without even knowing it. Oh, meaning I soo didn't get my hair cut today ¬_¬ which really pisses me off since in the first place she is the one (my mom) that suggested it -_-+ Yep, oh I don't think Aaron was too excited about my change in style ^^' but boy! If he didn't like today, he's gonna dread tomorrow! :D I'm gonna have red red hair!!! and Black! and Silver pants, and black lips (my lips weren't black today) and omg I really like this style ^^' damn I got soo many looks, which makes me think o.O do goths dress up like they do for the attention? o.o I know I don't ^^ I like it :D Gosh, yeah oh my parents are home yep so I'll write later


Ja Mata~

BACK!!! |||~|~|~||~|||


Well, my mom did NOT like my style ^^' Laura's mom thought it was ok though :D (I went over like at 6:45) :\ I don't know, my mom is pissed at me, and at herself for looseing all that money. She is so blind to her own additiction ... damn.. come to think of it, me all switching like this is gonna look like I'm crying for attention o_o shit, maybe I just should to back to normal mode.. damn .. I sure as hell don't want them thinking that. -.-' *and whoever reads this is not going to believe me... bitches* Well, my mom doesn't know when I'll get my hair cut, and ::sigh:: I was tell her that the creek night is Friday and that I need my outfit for that night, and she just blew me off and told me to shut up -_- she always does.. I kinda want to cry... she is so cold to me and I act like I don't care.. but... I do.. and I wish she would frickin listen to me talk instead of those damn dudes on the TV but she doesn't. I gripe about the casino alot.. oh well.. shame on her and her own stupidity... fuck it... I'm pissed now. Oh, .. yea my keys.. damn... I really want to cry now. I bet Aaron doesn't like me now, well he probably didn't like me before but now I know he really doesn't like me. It makes me said that he would just discrimanate like that.... my looks... eva one knows me and how I am so when I showed up way different eva one got used to it real quick. The people I don't usualy talk to even came up and talked to me more... I dont' know.... I like this.. my mom doesn't... my dad says he doesn't care but I know he doesn't like it and thinks it's just a faze.. and I probaly won't do this for long, since it takes up wayyy too much eye liner and I don't have .. but one pair of black jeans, 2 red shirts, no black shirts, one pair of silver/black jeans, and like one black sweater, and one longsleeve undershit... so... yeah, I kinda need more clothes then that ^^' yep but anyway, it ain't ending today, cause tomorrow I'm gonna be all tight N stuff... damn, I'm soo not doing my math homework. It's way late, but she keeps giving me time and I completly forget about it. I think I'm gona go in early tomorrow and have her help me with it and play dumb ^^' though I kinda don't get it anyway o.o Ok, tired, hot, ticked, and gonna yaoi RP so...

Oh yeah, a friend sent me sum stuff and there is a Learn Japanese caset in there ^^ wow it's awesome! Really easy to understand, well.. get the point, they talk wayy faster then my other thing.. yeah... TY you know who you are ^_~



Ja Ne!

Close the World |

:: 2003 19 October :: 9.26 pm
:: Mood: calm/sort-a tired

Well, ya'know that game I rented? Forever Kingdom? Well, we went to this little store, and the dude that owns it is really nice, not to mention cute, and well he's like friends with us and always gives us a good deal. They had a brand new PS2 Forever Kingdom for like 20 something dollars ^^ so I got it >.< THEN I friggion saw this DVD, anime dvd, that had two awesome lookin dudes on it so I turned it over to read some of the back and ! xD ONE OF THE DUDES WAS ALL UP ON THE OTHER, HE GRABBED THE OTHER BY THE sholders and was looking all sad and their lips were kinda close, and the other guy had on a sad face and was looking down to the ground :| damn I wanted that soo bad! So the guy is holding it for two days :\ he said if I can't talk my dad into getting it before then, then it's going back up on the shelf! T_T nooo!!! It's only 15 dollars o.o used.

Well, the creek when good ^^' went into town with my dad and well when we got back, like at one, there was a message for me from Jessica saying that creek was at 2 o.o cause we didn't have much done, we had to work on it. So went there, and it was fun cause we got to hang up cod webs :D wow! I've never done that before! ^^ so fun! :D we get to do it again tooz ^^ don't know when though ^^'' Aaron was there ^^ ya'know I was happy ! xD anyway, Jessica was telling me that like yesterday she went and saw Texas Chainsaw Massicur ^^' (sp!?) twice o.o and then she was telling me that tomorrow and all week her and this other girl, Shay, are gonna dress up gothic :D so I am too!! I can't wait! I've always wanted to but I was too chicken ^^ I'm also getting my hair cut tomorrow so I can spike it and then Jessica has this one time red die stuff that I'm gonna use and I'm gonna put black mascara in my hair tomorrow ^^' and I have tons of necklaces I'm gonna wear, and these cross ear-rings and then some leather, black and red, that I'm gonna wrap around my arm :D I look so cool! And then! I have this weird belt that has chains hangin off it and stuff so I'm gonna wear that too ^^ ::clears throat:: Yeah that rpg Forever Kingdom is awesome ^^ Yeah, well it's late so I got'z to get going, even though right now I'm RPing with my yaoi buddie ^^'


Ja !

Close the World |

:: 2003 18 October :: 9.43 pm
:: Mood: calm/sleepy eyes/somewhat hungry
:: Music: Don't know what you got till it's gone...

Close the World |

:: 2003 18 October :: 11.28 pm
:: Mood: kinda tired/hungry/itchy

Well, me and my bro went intow this moring because I stayed up till 3 am RPing and was asleep when my father desided to leave. So, after that we got home and my dad got home and my mom was at work, dad soaked in the tub cause he said that bowling killed him. So I played some Tekken Tag and then my bro let me borrow Tekken 3. I don't like the graphics... anyway, I was playing that and I had to wait on my dad, cause I was already ready. Though in no hurry since I was happyly kicking ass. ^^ he took a nap and I played on. I don't know to not get into details, mom got home, and they ran off to the casino, of course without me yelling at them. If they can go out as they please and dad go twice in OnE day, then I told them that me and my bro where going out and that THEY would pay for it! I was really mad. So anyway, it was planed that me and my bro and our friend Jahsem would go but he was too tired so we just got 20$ and rented some games and played them over at Jahsem's house for a few hours ^^ it was fun fun FUN! We rented 4 games: 1 for me and 3 for my bro >.>' and anyway, I got SoulCalibur for PS2 ^^ that's about all we palyed at Jahsem's boy!!!!! Damn that game if fun! ^^ I'm best with.... o.o umm... x_x shit what's his name.. dude with the stick.. kilit? I dunno xD but sure as hell am good with him! ^^ it was fun. Whoever lost had to hand their controler to whomever didn't play >.< The boys all all their winning streaks. It was either Jahsem being the one that was the winner and the others tring to beat him, or my brother. They would be like winning 7-9-11 time in a row! xD Well HA!!! I had my winning streak too!!!!! I was soo surprized xD I won 5 times in a row ^^ damn I don't do the same old moves over and over, man I be doing some combos buddy! >.< ::clears throat:: anyway, it is just a rental but I just got threw playing it in my room. It's pretty tight ^^ mom and dad was asleep when me and my bro got back (around 10 or so) he's alright... I don't know.... ... Ack I really want to see AAron!!! man I was thinking about him today ^^ like all the other days >.< I .. I really like him!!! ^^' Umm ya.. ok .... man I'm into my RP ... I want him to be on right now -.-' Oh yeah... I haven't eatten anything all day ^^' I had a few chips with dip and then one breakfast hottpocket, but ya'll know how small they are. Dang.... I'm hungry... I'm worried about my health.. I'm so lazy and don't eat, it's not cause I'm affraid that I'll get fat, but I'm just to lazy to get up and make anything, even if it is a sandwitch, that's just going out of my way too much. Now if SomeOnE ElSe made it I would Eat it, but if I had to make it... I would just pass.... I think I need to start taking vitamins... I really do.. cause I don't eat.. the right stuff I'm supposed to eat.. It's late... we still haven't called the Japanese teacher.. Oh! Did I tell ya'll about those long lost friends that we just got in contact with? Well, we went over to their house last Tuesday ^^ boy they have all grown up :D 4 boys and then mommy and daddy ^^ DJ being the oldest and me having dated him wayyyy back when I was like 9 or 11 ^^' ok 9-10 I think, I dunno >.< boy is he different! Same ol cool, can-talk-to DJ, but is just different ^^' his voice xD and he's gotten tall... ok I'll just plain out say it cause I'm so mean... he's uglier xD! Umm Ok, he is so cool. 2 of his little bros didn't reconise me :\ Yeah well, anyway, I had tons of fun visiting with them. It's like a 2 hour drive to their house o_o but it's worth it ^^ gahh I can't wait to see them again. Yeah, well ok...


Ja Ne~

3 |Opened the Next | Close the World |

:: 2003 17 October :: 1.15 am
:: Mood: HAPPY/hungry/itchy

OMG!!!!!!!! ::CRYS:: I'M SO HAPPY THAT MY JOURNAL IS WORKING NOW!!!!! OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO LOVE THIS THING! Damn, I guess it's true that these things help you, omg I missed this thing so friggin much ;_ ; omg OMG!

Well, damn... It was my header that was screwing up! Thank you dude that had that clear header thing made or whatever the hell! Thank YOU!!!!!!

Aaron and I havn't gotten together.

Ok, I want to write write write but.. ok anyway last night well.. yea last night cause today to me is Thursday but it's one something so it's Friday but anyway Wednesday we had church and ok no details I'll try and make this short: we went to this chruch and they wasn't haveing their thing so we was just gonna go to our normal church (when I mean we it's me and Kim, a retarded girl whos' 14, and Kellie, Aaron aunt) anyway, we had to go by my house and get my bible. Well my brother followed me out and asked where I was going. I didn't explain it to him well and just rolled up the window to Kellie's car and he fliped me off. After church I told my parents what had happened (they was at the casino at the time >.>') and anyway, we had a big-o family talk! We talked about .. well... my brother not having a big sister neither do I cause she got kicke out for having sex before she was married a long time ago and how mine and my brother's relationship sucks and how he wants to be able to be my older brother and all and.. he used to abuse me when I was little... and he does have a temper... used to hit things and stuff... but he doesn't do taht anymore... he just yells... alot.. but i still feel that if his temper got all flared up that he would no dought throw me agaisnt a wall and just frigging knock the shit out of me! i fear him.. i'm scared of him.. i don't trust him sometimes.. ok most of the time... but anyway that's what we talked about.. and how my father treats my brother.. my dad didn't grow up with a loving dad so you know how that would make a person and my mom grew up with out a decent mom..... we talked about how it's either my mom and dad going out, or me and my dad, or my mom and brother.. ti's never mom and me or dad and my bro and NEVER all of us! So we are supposed to spend more family time together. My brother sometimes taps me on the sholder in a playful manner as in brother sister stuff but it annoys me and when I tell him to stop it he just does it over and over again. He says he's just messing and tring to play like a brother and sis would and anyway, if anyone annoys anyone or wants the other to stop something we are supposed to say 'You agravating me' ^^' well anyway, I want to go to ummm family counsling.. but... I know no one else woudl go along with it... my dad ... he talks and he can just annoy the crap out of you with a straight dumb face and not even know it! so we talked about how me and jacque just don't gotta change and dad too! and we didnt' talk bout mom much... he just was quite mostly... I was in tears... ALOT! man my eyes was soo red! dang.. they just fell and fell and fell... my brother cried too... when we get to tlaking about my dad and sis... and how we aren't much of a family...

Anway, we went bowling today ^^ 3 games :D it was sooo fun! I love bowling ^^ I beat my bro (not by much) but mom and dad wooped us xD

We went to eat afterwood and that went okay, my bro drove me to that place we ate at. My mom and letting him drive me places now, since we are supposed to spend more time together (me and my bro) ^^ I call him Oni-chan now, I think it's the Japanese word for 'big brother' o.o well yea I'm pretty sure. After that my parents wanted to go to b.i.n.g.o. ¬_¬ so my bro drove me home. Ok you guys have to know that we live like 30 mintues fromt his town ok. So that's a pretty long drive. He let me listen to my music... which I was glad cause I don't like his nasty rap songs ::sticks out tongue at them songs:: I like rap just not that kind of rap.

Ack, I can still taste that egg drop soup or whatever I had... It was a Chinese/Koren resturant...

OH yeah, we still haven't called my Japanese teacher yet :\ I dunno.. Yea our cat hasn't come back ... and it don't smell so it ain't here.

Kim the retard asked Aaron (btw this happened.... last week I think?) at chruch why he wasn't at the creek. Someone said because he was with is girlfriend. And that got my attention and I all ya'know listened in. Well, Kim asked Aaron if he really had a girlfriend. He nodded and it didn't freak me out cause I knew he was playing and anway she's all like who? and Aaron said it was her and then said he was just playing and then this other girl asked Aaron if he even really had a girlfriend and he said NO.. but he was working on it o.o I waS LIKE OHHH WORKING ON IT!! xD in my head of course I was like that. But anyway, I was all looking at Aaron the whole time and I saw him see me out of the curner of his eye ^^'

xD who could it be he's working on!? I dont' know.... ok this is long.. I love you all who read this... please drop me a note line whatever.. e-mail me... make a comment or something.. please...

Damn I'm so glad that this is working.. damn.. I sooo happy! I could cry! Naw.. but damn... this really does help...... really this does... I'm so surprized... gahh... >.<

I really enjoy church and hearing the stories and studying their beliefs... yeah un huh.... ok well... night all ::wipes fake tear::



Ja Mata!!!!!~

Close the World |

:: 2003 6 October :: 9.23 pm
:: Mood: calm/tired/whatever
:: Music: Japanese Misc

Close the World |

:: 2003 3 October :: 7.56 pm
:: Mood: whatever~
:: Music: Enigma - Gravity of Love

Close the World |

:: 2003 2 October :: 9.09 pm
:: Mood: aggravated

This 9.0 is making me mad >>:| !!!

Well, Aaron is cute as ever and school is going great. My birthday came and went and I'm 16 now ^^

I got a DBZ DVD for my birthday I was surprized that I liked it. I mean I watch the series but I didn't think I would like the movie ^^ it's good I like it :D got FAKE vol. 3 also and Teach Yourself Japanese book out of that college libray. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SAYING ^^ and it only took me 3 hours :P

I know I haven't been updating. Well, it's because I was gonna update but something happened and it all deleted and I'm just lazy. I'm having tons of homework (mostly math and science) and it's kinda hard and I'm not giving it the attention I should be. So I need to spend less time typing stuff liket his and working on my studies :\

And I also want to spend more time on my Japanese studies. My mother will be calling up my teacher now since I have the book ^^ I'm glad I'm gonna have someone to converse with because the book is rather hard for me to understand >.< though after reading it over like 5 times it's not ^^'

Oh remember me saying that we have a new student? That girl? Her name is Amanda and he is really hard to understand. She's like Mexican/Spanish and her English is all mixed up ^^ the school she went to before comming to my school is the school I used to go to a long time ago. So we have that in common. I'm tring to win her over, by being nice and tring to be helpful, cause she says she doesn't do drugs and those girls are tring to ger her to smoke with them and stuff. Anyway, she emailed me today and I put her on my BL and it showed that she was on so I (IM)ed her and now we are talking. @.@ I thought hearing her talk was hard to understand but tring to read what she's saying IS HARDER!!! ^^ she's cool though. Oh and I would of given her my phone number but I was thinking about how hard it is to understand her talking right in front of you so on the phone it would be even harder to understand her!!!

Well, I dunno what I was all gonna put because this girl is talking and I'm confused so...

Oh, Aaron wasn't at school today :/ he's doing something for FFA... I don't think he's gonna be at school tomorrow either :(

Oh today Laura at to go get her teeth pulled out :( two of them, on the side. And like a few weeks from now she has to get two pulled from the other side and then get braces >.< she SAID SHE HAS TO WEAR HEAD GEAR AT HOME XD omg I want to she what she looks like >.< lol xD sorry ^^'

Oh we still can't find out cat...

>.>

<.<


Ja Ne~

Close the World |

:: 2003 29 September :: 7.15 am
:: Mood: calm/hungry
:: Music: Inu Yasha - Dearest

Close the World |

:: 2003 28 September :: 10.29 pm
:: Mood: calm/tired
:: Music: Inu Yasha - I Am

Close the World |

:: 2003 26 September :: 9.42 pm
:: Mood: calm/kinda tired
:: Music: Inu Yasha - My Will

1 |Opened the Next | Close the World |

:: 2003 25 September :: 9.34 pm
:: Mood: calm/kinda tired
:: Music: Inu Yasha- My Will (like this song!)

Close the World |

:: 2003 23 September :: 10.56 pm
:: Mood: calm/tired/hungry

Well, ain't much happen.

School went fine~
Mom pissed me off this morning (don't remember why) I lost my eyeliner and had to borrow a friends (kinda friend) and then I forgot to friggin turn in my paper yesterday ( I had the damn thing done -_-+) and it fuckin pissed me off cause I made a friggin 74 on it!!!!!!!!! Cause I got -20 taken off!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-.- besides that... the day went ok. Aaron was there... Oh, Last hour, this dude named ... umm... ... ok his name is gonna be Dude well anyway dude came in yearbook class with his shirt off :9 yeah but he is kinda... skinnie/bones.... ^^' yea~

There was an FFA cookout thingie and I wasn't gonna go but my friend picked me up and I went (thinking Aaron was gonna be there cause he is in AG) and he wasn't there... cause the boys had a game... :( but anyway I was bout to leave (Jessica couldn't go nor Laura) and I was in my friends car (call her Bird) and anyway Bird's mom was gonna drive me home and it was dark and there was a knock at the window (yeah, freaked me out) and it was Laura (she got her homework done so her sister dropped her off) and anyway, I stayed with her (since no one else was there and I didnt' want her to have to stay alone ^^ see I'm a good friend :D) good fricking thing I stayed oh, ~ before I get to that, AARON SHOWED UP!! ^^ Yep, like around 8 something :D Anyway,

I didn't say anything to him ^^' ok and then we waited and waited (me&Laura) and she said her sis was gonna pick us up at 9 .__. I'm like >:O!!!! and Laura didn't want to get a ride from anyone so I stuck by her (not like I was going anywhere anyway) and we waited... and waited some more, and then we had to go out of the building cause we was the only ones there and (it's like a open barn thing) and it was D.A.R.K. outside!! There was Anton and this 'Rose' and 'TK' there (guy, girl, girl) and so we stood by them and then they turned off the building lights and left >.< there ain't no houses or street lights near so we was like in total darkness!!!!!!!!! (we could still see, just eva thing was very dark) it was freakie ^^' anyway, her sis finnaly showed up at like 9:20 (yeah had to stand around in different places for an hour and half almost) and anyway, we left those other peeps cause they had a ride (the girls did) I asked Anton what he would do and he said he would just walk home O.O!!! I was like awwww what a gentlemen!!! ^^ he is really >.> and anyway his house is like.... .... more then 7 blocks i want to say ^^' far~ and in the dark .__.

Anyway, it was ok~

InkLink works now (I had to download some shockwave thingie) go to Shockwave.com and click on action games and look up InkLink (it should be listed right there under it after you click on action games~ mult player) and it's tight ^^

Umm.... oh that new girl... we kinda write each other... it turns out she used to go to my old old old school ^^ back in forth grade i was at the same school she used to go to :D she knows my best friend (back then) !!! Anyway, that gave us something to talk about ^^

I think she finnaly found out not to hang with the druggies ^^' at lunch she was with them and then when they left she's like I don't want to get in trouble' and like says to me scoot over and I get up and said I ain't gonna be in the inside, you can' ^^' and so she sat with us (me and Laura and.... Mattie~) we was eatin at the store~

Anywayz, I have homework and haven't even worked on it yet (yet alone look at it, was at that thing from like 6:30 to 9:20 ) o_o' lateness ~ I fell asleep when I got home and missed some of DBZ ;_ ; wanted to watch my Vegeta ^^'

Anywayz, I got to take a shower and stuff so~ I hope us and that girl can become friends.... she's not into anime or manga... or gym (nither am I) ... but maybe I can get her into anime and stuff.... though she seems like a .. girly girl :\


Ja Ne~

Close the World |

:: 2003 22 September :: 8.46 pm
:: Mood: calm/tired/kinda hungry
:: Music: Some beats~

Close the World |

:: 2003 21 September :: 11.32 pm
:: Mood: hungry/unconfortable/tired

Well, nothing much happened today.

Woke up and watched Shaman King and taped Digimon (still haven't watched it yet -.-') and got ready and went into town.

Dad took me to Hastings and I finnaly finished Confidential Confessions vol. 1... .__. I might glance at vol. 2 but.. I don't know... it was weird... and there was a short story in the back but -.- I was just so bored I said that heck with it and the Yu Gi Oh card player people was comming anyway, so we was just taking up their dualing space anywho~ before we left, I bought these stickers ($6 something for all 5) they was christian stickers ^^' my first time EVER buying something christainie. They was tight lookin is why :D and I didn't buy no gay stickers either! >:D they tight. Well, ... ... I bought one for Aaron ... it says 'Real Men Pray' (yeah... gay?) and I don't even think I have enough courage to give it to him XD I would be blushin like crazy @.@ anyway, the others are tight. I put one on this computer I'm on, but didn't like it so took it off and stuck it above my bedroom door ^^' I'm gonna put a sticker on my locker door or maybe one of my school books :D I just don't know yet!

After that we went to Wal Mart and got me come cereal.

Than to Toco Bell :9 gotta love Cholupas! (did I spell that right?) I think the casher was a lez... -_- anyway, she was sweeping something up and I yawned and looked around and boo! She was looking at me -_-+ than when we was leaving she tried to get in my way so I would bump into her (how do I know that? she was looking right at me smiling >:| ) anyway~ I have no problem with male X male (dah being a yaoi fan :9 ) but female and female ::shivers:: ick

After that~

Went home and wrote Part Two of that story I'm writting... like took me... humm.... a few hours to type up cause I had to watch kenshin.. and i was fixing my fourm sig thing... and this and that... anyway~ Lazieness With Friends~ it's gonna be... yaoi hopfully but I dont' know... its' PWP so .. it's just .. I don't know

~ Tomorrow is church, and we are going to meet up at the creek at 4:00 so... ^^ I get to see Aaron tomorrow :D yeah! Let alone get to work at the creek ^^'

Naw, I like church now. Even if Aaron didn't go there anymore I would still go :D

Oh my brother put in a CD player in our truck. we had to buy it though -_- than also pay for him to 'instal' it and for the 'wireing' and the money that he 'lent' my dad so anyway, it adds up to like $90 which ain't bad but kinda is since he's family :\ what an ass... i can't stand him -_- but a brother is a brother... >.>' *what the fuck did i just say? >.< XD !!*

Anyway, kenshin is... gahh... i hate cliff hangers :D Aoshi Shinomori is gonna fight next I guess since he was on there last but anyway :9 Aoshi is tight looking so is that wolf dude... umm... oh well... i hope all those guys didn't really die... i was waiting for kenshin to get up but by the end of the episode i was like o.o 'is he really dead?' ^^' gahhh XD

anyway, it's late and i got to wake up early so i can tape digimon ::yawns:: kay kayz that means


Ja Ne~

1 |Opened the Next | Close the World |

:: 2003 20 September :: 11.09 pm
:: Mood: calm/hungry/tired

Well, school went great as alwayz. Aaron (who sits next to me in math 3rd hour) was there and anyway, we had a free day'' and we had to do a crossword puzzle thing though (I don't like when you 'have' to do them. Expesially when it's math terms ._.') anyway, Aaron and I was helping each other ^^ (though it was more like me, Aaron, this other dude and this girl but >:D it was more like me and Aaron!) Oh, and when he found a word he would lean over the desk and I would move my pencil out of the way and he would like have his arm over mine and find the word and point to it for me ^^ awww XD !!!

Oh yeah, we have this new girl, she's pretty tall (little taller than me[5'4]) and I tried to get her to hang with me (didnt' know if she liked anime or not) and she was hanging out with me and coped my crossword puzzle things and ... oh it wasn't a crossword puzzle it was a WORD SEARCH! Gomen gomen ::rubs back of head:: it was a word-search not a .... crossword puzzle ^^'' gahh sorry XD anyway she copied what I had and eva thing was going well and she was gonna eat lunch with me and my friends but than those damn druggies got to her >:| and now she hanging with them -.-' oh well, I'm happy with my 2 friends ^^'

In computers Aaron sits next to me too and anyway, we had a test and I had my notes with me ^^' and I started cheating because we had a sub and I thought I would get away with it but ^^' oops Aaron saw me cheating and he's like Ooo and than gave is soo so cute smile and was like 'let me copy' and I'm like ok but keep watch. And low and behold he didn't and I got cought like after I had two friggin answers down -.-! So, I got mine done and I kept my foot near Aaron's (though I don't think he thought anything of it) and the lady says that I can't get my paper back from her, that I'll have to get it back from the teacher Mondya -_- ! meaning that the teacher will now that I had those papers during the test! XD I was like crap and shrugged than just went back to my computer and got on Unreal Tournment (it's fun when like half the class plays it [mostly the guys and me ^^'])

Ok anyway, I'm tired because I just got back from a football game ^^ Aaron's aunt drove me :D I went to Jessica's and she came to pick us up and I wasn't expecting to see Aaron in the front seat >.
I stood in line kinda behind him (was long so he was a few people infront) and anyway, he was looking at me sometimes and smiling and I was smiling and anyway, we got our stuff and Jessica and Laura was infront of me and got theirs first and I just ordered a water and what it is is you get your food and stuff and than go to the side and pay for it (it's all outside not inside) and anyway, Laura and Jessica was blocking me and those cashers weren't even paying attendion so I just took my water and walked on and waited for them like a litte ways off ^^' I ain't gonna pay no $1.25 for no 20oz bottle of water! Anyway,

When we got back to our seats Aaron was there :D right next to my blanknet that I was sitting on!!! ^^ So anyway I got to sit next to him >.< !!! I was sooo happy!!! Anyway, he wasn't like right next to me (it wasn't crowded on the side the team we routed for) he was like... a person spot away ^^ but anyway it was like 50 degrees outside and he wore shorts ^^'' and a tee with a long sleeve under it and a backwards hat :D very cute! Oh anyway, yeah that's how we sat, and Laura sat next to me and Jessica next to her ^^

I kept on walking down to the bathroom and food place with Jessica after that Japanese dude. (like 3 or 4 times) and I think it pissed Aaron off cause I kept talking about guys to Laura and Jessica and Aaron was right there and could hear (yes, I talk loud and I wanted him to hear anyway ;} ) so I think that pissed him off and it was cold and anyway, Jessica said she'll pay me a dollar and Laura said she'd give me $.25 if I talked to that Japanese dude, so I did with Jessica and his name is Scott and he was ... alright, everyone thoght he was gay ^^' Oh well if he is. Oh and Jessica and Laura thought Aaron was jealous that I kept running after that Japanese dude cause I knew he hear Jessica adn Laura betting me to talk to him.

Anyway, it was fun, and a Aaron seemed really annoyed. I talked to him ... I wouldn't say alot but under it. Yep, I asked him if he liked and enjoyed the game he said 'not really' and I'm like cause you wore shorts; are you cold? 'yeah' and omg omfg I love the way he smiles it just makes me smile too xD I want to stare sooo bad at his smile but I don't cause I don't know if he'll get offened because he has braces now o.o' anyway, I think some of the reason why he was so annoyed is because I made him that way ^^'

The ride home was coolz too. It was dark (dah) and anyway Aaron was in the back with this other dude and I was in the middle of the middle row with Jessia to my left and her brother to my right and this other dude in shotgun. So, when we was first getting in, I saw that Aaron had his hand on the back of my seat (well the whole seat thing) anyway, I tried leaning back and pressing my back agaisnt his hand but it didn't work xD I couldn't lean back that far without it being too obvious so I just gave up and slouched ^^' anyway, we droped the dude in the back off then Jessica and her bro was up next XD I forgot about that! They left and it was Aaron all my himself in the back and me all my myself in the middle and than that dude in the front with Aaron's aunt.

Anyway, they droped me off and I said 'thanks for the ride, good bye, bye Aaron, see ya'll later' ^^' yep, I knew the other dude but I didn't say bye to him xD I wanted Aaron to know that I wanted to say good night to 'him' >.<

Anyway, I'm tired and so anyway,

Ja Ne~

1 |Opened the Next | Close the World |

:: 2003 19 September :: 11.29 pm
:: Mood: calm/anxious
:: Music: Enigma 'Gravity of Love' (love this song)

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:: 2003 18 September :: 11.27 pm
:: Mood: calm/tired/kinda hungry
:: Music: Inu Yasha 'Dearest' full version/ Cowboy Bebop 'Green Bird'

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:: 2003 16 September :: 9.03 pm
:: Mood: calm

Well, to start things off, I kept forgeting about what my friend Jessica told me. Well, you guys know how they have that exchange student, anyway, they went to church Sunday morning (to lazy to go to church in the morning) and the dude sat next to her (I'll call him Poland, since that's where he's from) and anyway, Poland had his leg up agaisnt Jessica's xD !!! Omg that's what she told me!!! So I don't like him anymore and think he's a total perv since he lives with her!!! I never really liked him, he looks ok.. but Aaron is way cuter ^^ speaking of whom...

He was at school today :D yea! Oh but anyway, back to yesterday, I went to Hastings and I got the manga Confidential Confessions and sat down and started to read where I had left off (yeah, I didn't get to read it all) and anyway, there was a lot of speech bubbles to it was taking me forever! (good manga, pick it up... after you look it up and find out what it's about at Tokoypop.com ^^) and anyway, this old dude came along later and had coffee and looked at me and looked around and just grabbed a book off of one of the shelves and sat down RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and started to 'read' anyway, my dad came there later on and sat at the end. (furthest from me) and anyway, I got up and looked at the shirts behide that dude (only cause I wanted to look at the shirts... the red one was pretty ^^) and anyway, I walked over to my dad and said I was ready (now I'm halfway through, and my dad waits for me to finnish reading.. sweet no?) and anyway, the dude got up and walked to the other end and stoped and turned and looked at me and I saw him out of the corner of my eye and looked to him (still holding manga) and my dad looked at him and the dude sipped his coffee and looked at me and than (since I was right at the end of the isle) I was like >:| <^> ^^' flicked him off and left!! XD DAMN PERVERT!!! HE GOT UP RIGHT AFTER I GOT UP AND WAS LOOKING AT ME!!! anyway, my dad told me not to flick people off and I draged him back to the manga section cause I didn't know if that dude was goona be back, and I put my manga up and we left ^^' Ok ~

Today~
Aaron was at school. And that bump on that dudes head is just a little smaller than what it was yesterday ^^' oops anyway, he's cool, he's like my 2nd closest male friend (Jahsem is number one ^^ go papa bear! xD) anyway, he went to the hospital yesterday ^^ and in math (3rd hour; he sits next to me remember) and anyway the guy I hit (Anton) found this picture (anime picture that this evil red head drew) and it looked pretty tight and I went and stood at his desk (the one infront of Aaron) and anyway, Aaron came down and he's like 'what are ya looking at Buda' and I'm like 'a picture' and he came up RIGHT NEXT TO ME and grabbed part of the paper RIGHT ABOVE MY HAND and stood there RIGHT ON MY SHOLDER! ^^ gahh T.T felt so good I wanted someone to push me from behind so I could just fall on him ^^' found out how tall he is up to me XD my sholder!!! gahh oh well ^^' ::rubs back of head:: anyway, was he flirting with me? ^^ I think so. Oh and when class started he was laughing at what something Jeff had said and I looked over at them (those two are just too funny!) and he's like (faceing his desk and looking at me out of the corner of his eye) 'why you always looking at me buda?' XD I'm like O_O!!!! and I"m like ^^''''''' you guys are funny! ^^' XD

Anyway~ school went cool. We are watching this one video in OK History (funny as hell, called 'Little Big Man' it's funny) Tomorrow is church and it's gonna be fun ^^ going over to Jessica's and the bus is gonna pick us up. Man Billie.... naw he's cute and all but I dont' like him >:| oh Jessica was left home alone with Poland today xD she wanted me to come over! She's afraid he's gonna rape her! I'm more scared of it than her xD dont' trust him! He might be a terriest!!! xD

Anyway, Inu is good and I'm really tired and have 'some' homework to do (-.-' math) oh, I'm supposed to bring some of those DVD's tomorrow to Jessica's house that my friend sent me a looong time ago ^^' Marmalade Boy :D I can't wait till I get FAKE vol. 3 The site says it came out on the 9th but the store just don't got it yet >:\ Anyway, I got to get my uniform for church tomorrow and a booklet as well ^^' ok ok

Ja Ne~

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:: 2003 16 September :: 10.45 pm
:: Mood: calm

Well, school went fine... well... Aaron wasn't there today (was in the city) and the High School boyz game was rescheduled so they didn't play today, Thrusday is when they play. Oh, and 3rd hour before class started this guy kept hitting me with the door so I hit it pretty hard with my hip and it swung really fast at him and hit him right above his left eye brow xD omg it got big really fast!!! Anyway he said it was no big deal (the whole class was laughing and ^^' heh heh so was I XD) and anyway, it's like half the size of a gulf ball xD gahh anyway, I don't want to miss Inu so

Ja~

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:: 2003 14 September :: 9.55 pm
:: Mood: calm

Ok, I'll start with yesterday:

Woke up and my mother went into town to the casino by herself. Me and my father went intown and went to Wal Mart and I got some stuff than we met my mom at Crackle Barrel for Lunch at 2:00. After that I rode with my mother and we went to Hastings, I read Demon Diary vol. 3 ^^ man I got to get that manga xD and than we went to Wal Mart and I got tons of candy and a new belt and some other junk. Than we went to another Wal Mart on the other side of town and I got some more stuff ^^' and I saw these two girls from my school. I talked to one o.o I didn't even know her ::rubs back of head:: but we talked to each other like we did ^^' we must of both saw each other in the Yearbook >.> I was SAL. so maybe that's how she knew me ::shrugs:: anyway, she was a senior last year and she had a page with anime drawings on it that she drew ^^ that's why I talked to her, I always wanted to say hi to her :D and now I have ^^ yea!

::clears throat:: anyway, that's about it for that day. Ok, today oh wait... yesterday I watched the new Digimon ^^ witch is awesome x.x but the opening song is so gay and I taped Shaman King ^^' since it came on at the same time I had to tape Shaman King in my room than watch Digimon in the living room than watch Shaman King afterward. Diagundar is alright. Ok OK now today I watched Digimon (awesome dah) and Diagundar, oh and the new Medabots it alright too :\ they changed so many voices and ... well... I like the old Ikkie and Medabe (yea I know I spelt them way wrong) Ok than like later on or whatever my friend came over to borrow Marmalade vol. 4 from me ^^ than I went with Jessica to church... well... it wasn't church right away :D we went to the creek cause we are setting up the haunted trail >.< I got attacked by trees!!! Naw, we had to collect branches and make walls for the maze thingie and one didn't like me breaking it off and hit me back ^^' right on the under side of my wrist ._. ouch... anyway, Aaron was there xD !!!! Oh was Aaron there! ^^ lol not Billie (though I could soo friggin care less) Ok side story~ Yesterday my friend told me (her cuz told her and her cuz hangs out with Billie) that Billie asked this girl out because he heard that she would 'do stuff' (sex XD) and she said no, but then I also heard that if he asks her again than she'll say yes xD Fucking shit!!!!! OmG I didn't know he was like that. I sooo don't like him anymore, though I have no clue if it's true, but anyway she's like 2 years younger than him (he's younger than me too ^^') ok but anyway, I just .. I dont' know ~ Ok back to Aaron ^^' he was there and I knew he saw me and he shyly acted like I wasn't there >.< dammit! Anyway, he had orange sunglasses and a cut-off shirt :\ a freakie cut off shirt. Oh and before we went to the creek (me and Jessica-at her house) she rented 'House of a thousand corpses' and .__. it's gay. It's sick and gay. Ok anyway, after the creek thing we went to church, omg it was fun ^^ we had a cake because it had been this guy's birthday a few days ago and we had a cake and the room was filled with kids (there was this new Indian guy that I hadn't seen before xD omg he had 2 earings in each ears *.* they was fake feathers but he looked cute in them xD but he is W.E.I.R.D.!) Anyway, I sat infront of Aaron again (I didn't want to but that's how it turned out) and anyway, we met gaze a few times ^^' we both hurried to look away ::rubs back of head:: I could tell he was looking at me but I just stared at the table xD anyway it was soo funnie!!! We was all talking and laughing- ok well it was every one else but me and Jessica talking ^^ but we sure as hell was laughing ^^ anyway, got home and took a shower than got on hear so I could post and I'm missing Big O and than I need to get to bed so anyway


Ja Mata~

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