brokenmentality
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2005 21 February :: 12.18am
sometimes i hate myself.
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brokenmentality
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2005 20 February :: 10.22am
last night was fun.
after i got out of work, keegan and alyssa came over, i took a shower (cuz most people like to do that after working in a kitchen for 4 hours) and then we headed over to micahs house. we went down to alpine. went to logans.. well.. 2 of us did.... *shakes head.. fools.... went back to micahs house, watched brown sugar... and me and alyssa walked in at about 2:30..... it was a really fun night. now im getting ready for church.............. woooo. too tired.. dont make me go.. mreh.
the night BEFORE last night... i had to work, but keegan came over afterwards and we rented "Three to Tango"... which HE says is a chick flick.. but it TOTALLY isnt. its got matthew perry in it... has anyone seen it? because it isnt.. we need a third opinion! and anyway.. he left a little after midnight.
the night BEFORE that night danielle spent the night.. we watched the notebook again... THIS time i didnt cry.... i love that girl. (millering) aww.. we have so much fun together. i think we're going to florida over spring break with the national relief... gonna have us some good times im guessing... giggles*
the game friday was awesome... i dont generally get into sports... but that game was pretty "exhilerating"... geeeeze, i make it sound like some sort of sexual experience.. MAYBE it was.... *dun dun dun.
this weekend has flew by WAY to quick...makes me sad.
but yeah... god is calling, i must be on my way.
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brokenmentality
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2005 17 February :: 7.07pm
my messenger isnt working.. but im kinda happy it isnt.. i really hate talking to people on that thing.
i've gotta turn in my lazer skate app tonight.. OH, danielle is spending the night... *gets excited... *loves her.
i was supposed to go to micahs meet tonight.. but ended up not being able to make it.... awwwww
i love my room.. i just like to look at it.. alot. esp when its clean.
theres no point to this... im just oddly happy.... like really happy.. lol, i dont know.
aww jenna and jess.. i love you girls, yearbook is the best cuz we can be all girly together and talk about boys and bad people and fun things... lol. *triple hugs... awwwww.
ok, thats enough from me for now....... *loves you all.
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brokenmentality
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2005 17 February :: 10.09am
awww.. i know im gonna sound like a broken record.. but LAST NIGHT WAS THE BEST!
lol... im so girly sometimes it kills me....
we rented the notebook last night.. and we had a picnic on his bed.. (he has a dvd player in his room).. it was so sweet. i made shrimp dip, and we had grapes and jello cut into little hearts (cuz we're cute like that).... when i got there he had it all set up with a blanket down and roses and everything.... everytime i think we've spent the ideal night together.. it just keeps getting better. the notebook was SO good... you have to rent it.. i cried. then i cried again.. just because i was so happy. i look at him, and i just think wow.. how is he mine? because i dont think many people see him, and i mean REALLY see him.. but thats the best part.... we see eachother.
but anyways.... that was my night. *smiles.
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brokenmentality
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2005 15 February :: 5.46am
i have the best boyfriend ever... no really..
that was the most memorable valentines day, and by far then best.
he took me to the olive garden, he bought me butterfingers, and he got me johnny depp..........(SIGNED johnny depp thank you... *smiles really big*)
the best part about the night was being with him.. laughing with him, holding him... the best part about the night WAS him.
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brokenmentality
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2005 13 February :: 7.45pm
ok, ive decided not to update in detail about last night.. because nobody cares... as it is so blatantly obvious on this site... and i'll just leave it at it was a blast... and i love my friends.
bahh... i have no desire to update this thing.. *shakes fist at woohu.
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brokenmentality
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2005 13 February :: 3.38am
i had more fun tonight then i have EVER at a dance.
i'll update details more tomorrow.. or when i feel like it.... but the basics...
keegan came over.
me, keegan, becky, and alyssa went over to sam ballews (sp* i know).. there were 16 of us.
we all went to applebees.
we went to the dance.
me, micah, keegan, becky and alyssa went bowling on plainfield.
then we went to steak 'n shake... us girls got hit on while micah and keegan were in the bathroom.... te he he.
we just got home a little bit ago. .i think we walked in at about 3:30.
i'll go into detail later... but tonight was the best.
you're perfect for me.. you really really are... and you made tonight perfect..... agrh.. i cant even put words to it... and i hate that.. cuz i REALLY wanna just express to everyone how perfect we are together.. but i cant.. and i want to so bad.. and i want to at least express it to you... but maaaaaaan.... you're amazing.
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charlessumnerthatsickfuck
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2005 9 February :: 9.04pm
Today i witnessed a preparation H raymond look alike riding his bike. Is it ok to laugh at a person based on their appearance? Thats pretty shady. I was laughing at raymond, not him, right? Anyhow, i've got the dorm to myself this weekend. party time!!! k-t, if you don't have to work, come down and chill.
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brokenmentality
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2005 7 February :: 9.31pm
i still dont know what im gonna wear to swirl.. but it really doesnt matter. because im gonna be with keegan, and alyssas going, and beckys going... and its just going to be fun.
i love alyssa... im so glad she comes to things like this... this is her 2nd cedar dance, and i've been to 2 of kent citys dances.... *hugs her.
everyone should meet her this weekend.. you'll love her gaurantee!
aww.. valentines day... and i'll be with keegan, and we'll be together, and it'll be close to perfection, because we experience moments like that alot, together.
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brokenmentality
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2005 6 February :: 1.27am
i want to die, my life is awful, im going to kill somebody..
whine.. bitch.. complain.
look at me, i'll confess my desire to take my own life.
oh gawwd, i just love sex and im a whore and will profess it online.
im soo fat, now please tell me that im not because that was probably my intentions in the first place.
fuck fuck fuck.. thats my favorite word, lets make sure to use it incessantly.
i hate everything.
whine whine whine.
i have no friends.
now please feel free to comment.. because thats what it takes isnt it?
pathetic.
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brokenmentality
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2005 5 February :: 11.43pm
i love this... arghh, cant even describe it.
work sucked tonight.. sometimes i just wanna shake people and be like SMILE.. why would somebody be so miserable all the time.
hmmm.. not sure why i got annoyed tonight.. must just be my girl nature or something... i dont know.. its irrelevant.
im to tired to update.. instead i think i'll go get warm under my blankets... MY blankets.. MY bed.... i could make a zillion "MY" updates, but i'll refrain due to repetitiveness.
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brokenmentality
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2005 4 February :: 12.05am
im sitting in my room, at my desk, on my computer, using my internet, looking at my pictures, listening to my cd player, in my house, with my own yard, with my own car parked in the driveway, and my own cat sleeping in the hall, and my own little sister sleeping in her own room and my mom sleeping in her own room.
sometimes i lose faith in the one thing that i should be focused on... and then he appears again, as if to tell me, he never left. i feel cradled in his arms and that feeling of peace is so comforting no words could ever do proper justice.
MY own past, helped set up our computer tonight. MY past was standing in MY livingroom... talking, laughing.... and so real. so incredibly real. there is a such thing as second chances... and there is ALWAYS hope in the future.
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brokenmentality
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2005 2 February :: 2.11pm
last night we spent the first night in our new house... we still have no water, but i slept in my own bed, and it felt so good it almost hurt.
this morning i went over to keegans to take a shower steepen his water bill a little... we got ready together this morning... awww.
yesterday was very good. better than expected.
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brokenmentality
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2005 31 January :: 6.16am
we moved all our stuff in saturday, but we dont have water, so thats what we're waiting on.
friday night i went to kent city to hang out with alyssa, we went to their basketball game and then to steak n shake with like 12 people.. kent city people are fun. met a bunch of new people, it was great....
then saturday alyssa came and helped us move.. and keegan came over after he got out of work. we went to meijers and got me a dresser and me and keegan put it together... more like i just watched and held a few boards for him. lol.. i didnt know how to help! but yesterday we put my sisters bunk bed together, and i TOTALLY dominated that. *dusts shoulder off.
we have so much fun. saturday night, and he's spending it with me, putting my furniture together.... :)
yesterday i had to work, but after work he came to the house again and my mom was working on the kitchen, and we working on my room.. i couldnt help but think how insanely lucky i am. we all didnt leave last night till about 11:30, he fell asleep while i was doing stuff... i just smiled and kissed him. he's a beautiful person.
now on for the rest of reality..
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brokenmentality
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2005 26 January :: 6.12pm
tonight was hard, it didnt hit me till i got there.
there are no words to express enough sympathy, and yet no words would do anything justice.
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